


Bodies and Flames

by Leilatigress



Series: Chosen [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-07
Updated: 2015-03-02
Packaged: 2018-03-11 00:24:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 37
Words: 155,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3308768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leilatigress/pseuds/Leilatigress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neria Tellas is a primal mage. Chosen for her flames can she control them enough to get to the end?<br/>Loosely follows Canon.</p><p> </p><p>"Magic,either you learn to control it or it controls you"- Neria</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Prologue:

Gregor rubs his temple again and clenches his fist. “What is wrong my friend? You seem agitated,” Irving asks glancing up from his plate at the man. 

“Magic, there is powerful magic nearby and it is untrained.” As he says this he paces back and forth past the long table Irving is sitting at eating breakfast. He wants to be on his way and Irving knows it. 

“Ah, you feel it too then, we need to find this mage and bring them back to tower with us.” Irving comments looking at the Knight Commander of the Templars Gregor is in the full plate of his office and for a man well into his silver years he carries it easily. 

“I can’t figure out if it’s one or many.” Gregor says clenching his fists again and looking at the rest of the Templars in the room. He has two contingents with him, a full 16 men and all of them are reacting. 

“If it is one then he or she is a force to be reckoned with.” Irving responds. Of the two he is the elder though his magic and responsibilities weigh heavy on the First Enchanter. Done with breakfast Irving stands and makes ready to leave. 

"We have to get out of the city today, now is the time to leave when no one is up and around." Garrett says glancing at his blonde love Janis. 

“Do you think they will take her? Are you sure we can even find them?” Janis asks wrapping the threadbare blanket around her daughter, the subject of the conversation. 

“They will know how to train her we don’t want the circle to get a hold of her and she is far too powerful to continue without training." Garrett says finished packing their meager belongings. There are three other families coming with them. Tired of the alienage life they hoped to get out of the city and see if the Dalish will take them. They are hurrying through the streets to the back tunnels of the city Garrett is in the lead glancing over his shoulder at the group as they move. 

“Okay Templars we are looking for a caster looks like the alienage is the place the disturbance is coming from. Under no circumstances are you to rough handle these people.” Gregor commands as he gathers his group at the gates of the Alienage in Denerim. All of his Templars are on edge with this magic. They all sensing it and they all want to contain it. With a nod the city guards open the gates and the Templars move through quickly all of them seeking the beacon of magic that has them all on edge. 

“They’re here, quickly through the tunnels and then out of the gate. They haven’t gotten into the alienage yet. Hurry Janis!” Garret grabs her hand and helps her and the rest of the group through the tunnels and out onto the outside of the walls. Open fields lay out before them, no place to really hide and they are running. They have to get to the trees before the Templars figure out they have escaped the city. Janis keeps her mind focused on one foot at a time to get her daughter to safety. 

An explosion rocks the walls of the city and the guards immediately call down it has happened outside of the walls. Irving looks at Gregor and they gather the Templars and move to the area outside of the town. People are screaming in pain and confusion and there are charred and still burning body parts everywhere. In the middle of the bodies sits a child. She isn’t older than three or four years but flames lick along her arms and she stands in the middle of the carnage. Gregor has never seen anything like it before. “Did she do this?” Gregor asks Irving who smiles at the child and offers her a sweet. She wobbles over to the enchanter on unsteady feet and takes the sweet. Flames still lick up and down her arms but they do not burn Irving. 

“Yes, she called down a fireball at minimum maybe an inferno. She’s at least a level 2 or 3. Can you help her control it?” Irving asks bending down to pick the child up. 

“Yes, I can cleanse her though I don’t want to scare her.” Gregor closes his eyes and draws on his talents to cleanse and pushes it out to encompass the child. She looks up at him as cleanse touches her and narrows her eyes as her flames start going out. Irving watches her face as she looks at Gregor and thinks she might fight him. He has a mana drain ready if needed but she seems to accept the dousing of her flames for the moment. When one of the other Templars come towards her though he finds himself on his ass slapping at the flames that have sprouted on his armor and Gregor is barely able to make the Templar stop before he smites the child. “Don’t!” It takes a moment for the Templar to reign in his powers enough to not cast it. 

“Drain her Irving, we need to deal with the rest of these folks and I don’t want her to roast the rest of us in the process.” Gregor looks at his friend with the child in his arms. 

“Already done Gregor, I will keep her drained until we get to the Tower. I don’t want her back in the city.” 

“Very good then, we can keep her drained when necessary and one of the Templars can keep Cleanse on her. What are you going to name her?” 

“I rather thought to give you that honor actually; it is you who found her after all.” 

“I will have to think on that.” Gregor says as he traces the cheek of the child and sets to saving those that can be. In the end none survive the flames of the child and as Irving watches the flames of the fire that night he wonders if they ever will. Even when she sleeps magic leaks out of her. 

“Neria, her name is Neria.” Gregor announces on their last day on the road. Neria has been going back and forth between Gregor and Irving who carry her with them on the horses. She likes the horses though they are not keen on her. Irving has been trying to help her with her magic but Neria is too young and seems to not fully understand Common. Once back at the tower Irving and Gregor take Neria to the nursery with the rest of the young children. 

“Oh, what do we have here? We’ve been feeling her get closer for the past couple of days but most of us thought we are dreaming.” Aiofe smiles and strokes the toddler in Irving's arms he too is an elf and Neria's face lights up at seeing him. 

“No, she’s powerful so far showing Primal though time will tell which school really interests her. She has a firm grasp on fire though so you might keep mana drain and cone of cold handy.” Even as Irving says this, flames start licking up and down Neria’s arms and then encompass Irving shortly. 

“Now that is interesting.” Aiofe says passing his hand over the flames and realizes they are indeed very hot. "So she can’t control how much of the fade she pulls but she can control the flames. Any idea how old she is?” 

“Three maybe four, she called down either a fireball or inferno and killed everyone that was traveling with her. I think they were trying to get her to the Dalish.” Irving answers enjoying the weight of Neria in his arms, shes been a good toddler really. 

“Oh fun. So how many Templars are going to be with her?” Aiofe sees the three Templars already in the nursery wonders how many more will be there. 

“Three at all times, it takes all of Gregor’s mana to cleanse her once. It is taking two and three of them to keep her from setting all of us on fire plus my mana drain.” Irving admits casting another drain on Neria. 

“That’s why you have them cleaning out the fire room then?” Aiofe sighs at the noise such an activity is causing knowing he and the other mages will have woken babies on their hands in a moment.

“Yes, until we can teach her control she is too dangerous to be around other children.” At this Aiofe clucks his tongue and steeples his hands. So begins the life of Neria.


	2. Mischief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "They all scream the first time the metal touches them, its the ones that take the pain and channel it that make the good mages"-Gregor

Gregor is walking quickly trying to get to the nursery. Neria has talked her Templars into letting her play with the other children and has set everything and everyone on fire. He had been kept late to a meeting, had not been able to come with her. Crossing into the room he is surprised to see snow falling from the ceiling and coating almost everything in blinding white. 

“What the Maker?” He can hear laughter and the rest of the children squealing in joy at the unexpected snowfall. Making his way over to Irving the First Enchanter is smiling and laughing at the antics of the children. 

“I thought the room was in flames.” Gregor is seeing the damage of the flames but no actual flames.

“It was and then she cast blizzard and it’s been snowing ever since.” Irving admits smiling as he says it.

“Neria did this?” Gregor looks over at the child smiling despite himself. 

“Yes, the fireball she cast did burn a couple of the children but Aiofe was able to heal them. He can't do anything about the flames though. One of the other children I think Gavin asked for snow and Neria complied when he showed her what it looked like.” Irving says smiling at Neria's attempt to make a snow ball. 

“Maker’s Blessing she’s only 7! How are we going to contain her?” Gregor shakes his head true fear creeping in. 

“We can’t Gregor, we can only teach her control.” Irving has his doubts about that as well. 

“How is that going?” Gregor remarks motioning to the snow and casting cleanse on Neria at the same time.

“Pretty well actually, she is a fast learner but she is emotional and that causes problems.” Primals are notorious for lack of control. She will need bindings, Irving is sad about that even as he tweaks the earring in his own ear courtesy of his own lightning tendencies. 

“Let’s hope she evens out as she gets older.” Gregor motions Neria over to him. Neria immediately comes to him and hugs him allowing his Cleanse to work and help her control her magic. 

“There now child, better?” Gregor asks smiling, he can't help it this one that is always so lonely.

“Yes Knight-Commander thank you.” Neria is polite and proper, she adores her Templars enjoys Gregor's visits since he helps her with her magic, allows her near the other children when he can. 

“Let’s keep the snow under an inch please. It’s going to ruin all the toys when it melts.” Gregor is indulgent if a little pissed this happened at all, the Templars will be disciplined for this.

“I can dry everything quickly?” Neria offers causing both Irving and Gregor to shake their heads no collectively. 

“Ah, let’s leave the flames alone as well. Would you like to come with me to visit Enchanter Sweeney?” Gregor aims for distraction, it works. 

“Yes, I would like that very much. I need to tell my Templars though. It’s not safe for me to be without them.” Nodding Gregor watches Neria pull her Templars through the snow to Gregor. 

“She is coming with me to visit Sweeney. I will speak to you all when your shift is over.” Gregor is short with the Templars knows they need to know what they did was wrong. 

“Yes Commander” Echoes as they fall into formation behind Gregor and Neria who holds the finger of the Knight Commander. Waving behind her she stops the snowfall. No matter how   
busy he gets with his duties he always makes time for her. 

“Oh no Lerin! Lerin, please don’t be dead don’t be…” It is all Neria gets to say before she is smited by her other two Templars. One moment she was having a discussion with the man and now smoke comes out of his helmet and he twitches on the floor before her. Much later she comes to on her bed in her room. She can hear First Enchanter Irving speaking with Gregor and the men she came to think of as her fathers are discussing exactly what to do with her. 

“She is too powerful, too reckless you know we have to have the discussion she needs to, Maker I can’t even say it.” Gregor is scared. He would never admit to anyone just how much Neria means to him. Her big violet eyes with their ring of gray can get him to agree to almost anything. Her white gold curls that fall in a wave down her back almost to her waist. She looks to him when she does something right and he applauds her accomplishments. He does not want her to lose her spirit, her mischievous smile as she plays an innocent prank on one of her fellow mages. But she has killed one of her Templars and he needs to punish her. 

“It is a slip of control Gregor; it can happen to any of them.” Irving is indulgent, too indulgent with Neria's lapses of control it is an old argument. 

“She killed a man Irving; an example must be made of her.” Gregor's heart is breaking for this, what he knows must be done.

“They will break her.” Irving cautions, ever the optimist he can help them all. 

“Maybe they will teach her control. Obviously we can’t.” Gregor paces his hands going through his silvering hair. Looking into the room he sees she is sitting on the bed mage metal binding her ears she had screamed the first time they put them in, they all did. Her wrists wear the mage metal manacles glowing slightly she is a prisoner, will always be one. 

“You are the one that must decide, it is your Templar she killed, and her punishment is up to you.” Irving crosses his arms knowing this decision is tearing his friend apart. 

“Let her be sent to Aeonar for two years.” Gregor says and signals to the Templars on either side of Neria’s door. Maker forgive him, she is only 12. Aeonar, mage prison the boogey man of all mages. It is also where most of the Primal mages end up, their control over the elements too feared, too dangerous to be trusted anywhere other than a prison with walls that took magic, used it against the magic user until they were broken or insane.


	3. Welcome Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Of all the elements it is fire they fear the most, fire that can rage so fast out of control. Use that fear, wield it like a warrior does a sword."-Uldred

Whispers become murmurings and murmurings become out right talk that Neria is indeed coming back to the tower. The entire tower is abuzz with what it means as its the first time a mage has left for Aeonar and actually returned. Neria’s original two years has stretched into four as even in those halls of the mage’s prison her magic has not only gone wild but rumor has it she has killed at least three more people. Gregor is not positive he is making the right choice bringing her back but Irving has convinced him she has indeed learned control. He drums his fingers on his desk waiting for her to come to him. He has told the Templars to bring her to him straight away. 

Hearing their approach Gregor sits at his desk and tries to look busy. “Come in.” He is pleased his voice is steady but that confidence is shaken when the scrawny wild looking elf walks in. Prison has not been nice to her though he almost loses his courage when she turns those strange violet gray eyes on him. She left a child has returned almost a woman grown. Her hair still falls to her waist though it is a tangled mess at the moment. Her wrists are bound in front of her and Gregor notices the metal glows a faint blue with a constant cleanse pulsing on it.

One of the Templars still holds her arm and Gregor knows neither of these two are his, these have been her escort.

“Free her and you are dismissed.”

“As you wish Knight-Commander.” Once the chains are removed, her manacles stay though; Neria rubs her wrist and keeps Gregor’s eye contact. 

“Will you ever forgive me?” Gregor asks once they are alone. 

“Yes, I know you are doing what you have to. I was far too dangerous to keep here. His face still haunts my dreams, they all do.” Neria says maintaining his eye contact. 

“I did not want this for you Neria, when we found you surrounded in bodies we did not want this for you. I shouldn’t bring them up; I am sure you are tired and want to clean up. You are back in your old room for the time being.” Neria snorts in disbelief. 

“So I am still a prisoner then?” Neria asks bitterly. 

“No, but I thought you might want your privacy and it’s the only room without bars that will give you that.” Gregor says wanting to hold out his hand to her and doesn't.

“Thank you for that, after I clean up I do want to talk more if that is okay?” 

“Anytime my dear, do you want your old escort?” Gregor questions already running through the roster in his head.

“Do I get a choice?” Neria is sarcastic in her reply and Gregor frowns at this. 

“How much control do you have?” Gregor asks reaching out to her and she ignores him paces instead and bites out. 

“I don’t know. I haven’t had a slip in 6 months. They told me if I could stay in control for 6 weeks I could go home, then it was 3 months, then it was four months until finally Irving came   
and demanded my freedom. Then they said 6 months and I made it.” She swipes at the tears that want to fall and it takes every bit of Gregor’s control to not gather her up in his arms like   
she is a child again. 

“Go get cleaned up, you can join Irving and I for dinner if you like.” Gregor says instead retreating behind his familiar mask of Knight-Commander. 

“I would like that.” She stands and smiles as Gregor sends three Templar with her. Cullen, Travis and Fenrik. Fenrik she remembers, he has been one of the original three. It is he who had   
smited her when she killed Lerin. 

Anders is nervous, he is sitting next to her and he isn’t sure if he should be scared or flattered. Not sure if Sweeney has that much of a sense of humor to sit the two trouble makers together or if Sweeney really didn’t remember who Neria is. She's the only primal mage in existence currently, hers such a rare magic it makes her stand out. She has gorgeous hands, long fingers that are very dexterous though her wrists hold permanent reminders she is a prisoner will always be a prisoner. She catches him looking at the wrists and smiles. “Beautiful aren’t they? When they put the manacles on me the first time I tried to cast fireball and burned my hands almost off. Cast cone of cold next and then shock. So they are burned in various forms.” 

“They didn’t heal you?” 

“No, Heta thought it would be an excellent reminder why it isn’t wise to cast with shackles on.” Anders winces a little. Her manacles are permanent but look more like bracelets then the restraints they are. 

“I hear you are a creation mage though, are you going Spirit Healer?” Neria is trying to be friendly, is flattered when he responds in kind.

“Yes actually passed it almost a year ago. How about you?” Anders smiles at this fellow troublemaker. 

“I’m a primal mage with a minor in creation I don’t think I am going to specialize yet.” Neria absently runs a finger up and down the desk as Sweeny drones on about potions. 

“Hmm, there may be a book I have you might be interested in.” Anders wants another chance to talk to the wild elf, finds her interesting. 

“Oh?” Neria regards him wondering what book this one might have for her. 

“Yes, after class can you lose your leash long enough to come to my room?” Anders is all conspiracy now tests to see how much this one needs to fall in line. 

“No. Bring the book with you to class, they won’t question it once I have it but my leash will always be with me.” Neria flicks a finger towards the Templars that are against the walls, she's never had a day without them.

“Better you than me.” Neria smiles sadly at that. There are Templars stationed all over the tower keeping an eye on the mages but she has three assigned just to her. Technically it is 9 since it is three shifts of three. She is hoping with her continued show of control she can actually get rid of the escort, it makes keeping friends almost impossible. 

“Oh um excuse me.” Cullen turns beet red and spins on his heel quickly. Neria smiles and decides to tease the Templar a bit. Walking up behind him she presses her very naked body against his back and wraps her arms around him stroking his armor. She feels his breath catch and his heart beat faster. Catching her hand as she continues to stroke he spins around and pulls her against him.

“Do not tempt me Neria, I am not a saint.” Stepping away from her he closes the door behind him to allow her to get dressed. Smiling to herself she finishes getting dressed and goes to the library. Her escort has dwindled to just one as her control has continued to stay in place even when she is casting. Cullen nods to his fellow Templars and smiles as another pretty mage comes to walk with Neria to the library. 

Once her newness back in the tower has worn off Neria makes friends quickly though Irving did not exactly approve of who she hangs out with. Soris, Anders and Jowen are her trusted friends. Anders is finally out after another round in solitary for escaping. Soris’s exploits with the mages of both sexes makes Irving marvel at the pretty brunette’s energy and dedication. Jowen is an entropy mage with a minor in spirit which is just creepy. Entropy mages always garner more attention than other schools because their magic not only calls to the evil spirits of the fade but they are among the most likely to turn to blood magic to boost their skills. Cullen sees the looks both Jowen and Anders cast Neria when she isn’t looking. 

He knows Jowen doesn't stand a chance with her but Anders is an interesting mix of bad boy with those healing hands that makes most of them swoon. “Jowen, deciding to hang out with us instead of the girlfriend? I feel privileged.” Neria jokes tossing her hair over her shoulder and picking up the book Soris is reading. 

“I still have time for my friends now and again. Besides we need to enjoy Anders while he is out since we all know he will be hauled off again really soon. How many times has it been now?” Jowen teases Anders is unsure how many times the mage can manage to escape before they send him to Aeonar. 

“5 and I got caught because I had to help a woman being beaten by her husband,” Neria lays her hand over Anders and Cullen wishes it is his. For all he is a Templar and she a mage she is a tempting little minx her eyes bright and her cheeks flush as she and her friends study for their upcoming tests. 

“So you really think Irving will let me try any of these spells?” Neria asks Soris as Jowen and Anders talk more about escapes and healing. Cullen tunes out the rest of their conversation. 

“Cullen, Knight Commander wants to see you in his office.” Nodding at Fenrik he hands him her bracelets and looks over at Neria for a moment. She hasn’t needed the bracelets for days but they still carry them will always carry them. Her blonde head is next to Soris and they are talking in low tones and laughing. Cullen and Fenrik approach the table in time to hear “You did not!” and Neria looks up as Fenrik clears his throat. Looking up at the two Templars Neria turns a very pretty scarlet in full blush. 

“Neria, I have been called to Knight Commander’s office, Fenrik is here for you.” Cullen says indicating the other Templar. 

“Neria, darling calm down, your smoking.” Soris says trying to catch Neria’s eye as she looks at Cullen. Fenrik shoves Soris out of the way and grabs Neria to his chest casting cleanse as he does so. 

“Easy Neria, blue skies, fluffy clouds, and focus on the shape of the clouds there we go. Breathe; we do not want a fire in the very combustible library. I am sure old Sweeny would have a heart attack. Better?” Fenrik catches her chin to make her look up at him. Stepping out of his arms she maintains a hold on his gauntlet and he casts another cleanse spell allowing it to wash out over them both. Looking over at Cullen he narrows his eyes at him and the way he looks at Neria. 

“Cullen, Knight Commander does not wait well.” That seems to snap him out of his revelry and the Templar leaves. 

“Neria? You okay now? Can I stop casting?” Fenrik returns his attention to her. 

“Yes, I’m sorry I didn’t know you are still casting. I’m good.” 

“What shape are the clouds?” That earns him a mischievous smile. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Shaking his head he apologizes to Soris and walks back across the room to the door. 

“Okay normally I find your Templars annoying but they do come in handy on occasion.” Soris muses looking back at Neria.


	4. Rules of Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Exceptions to the rules are the mages that end up dead or insane. Don't be one”-Senior Enchanter Sweeney

“Anders what is the first rule of magic?” Sweeney is looking right at Anders the blonde mage jerks awake looks at the notes of the mage next to him smiles when he sees the drawing of Sweeney snoring. 

“All magic is channeled either through the fade, blood or the land. Only Dalish elves can use the land as it is a magic only taught by them.” Petra answers the question smiling as Sweeney nods in approval. 

“Anders, didn't know you had become a girl over night though well done.” Sweeney smiles at the rest of the class as he sees Soris slipping into the room sitting next to Neria. 

“Neria what is the second rule of magic?” Sweeney watches the startled mage lock eyes with him smiles as she answers.

“Mages are not restricted to one school of magic they can learn spells from others except for inferno, only primals may cast that.” Neria answers quietly towards the end looks down at her book reads the entry on the page tracing the Primal school with her finger. 

Schools of Magic   
1\. Primal – Primals are dangerous, most feared and most coveted school. True Primals can master all of the elements not just one or two. Fire- chained automatically, most volatile magic to control, Inferno their signature, Water- Not chained if control is shown or paired with strong enough spirit. Signature of them is Blizzard, Storm- Thunderstorm is signature. Not chained.   
2\. Entropy – These have a penchant for calling demons when they are in the fade, use death and decay regularly. Necromancy – Summon skeletons, Death cloud- signature spell, horror, fear, decay, wither all spells they can use.   
3\. Spirit – Very open to the fade, can use the fade to channel their excess magic when paired with creation these mages are very powerful and useful healers. Force – Can use the spirit magic to literally make a fist or push more telekinetic magic – Rift Mage – Can use the fade to pull things into the world able to summon wisps and minor spirits to help them.   
4\. Creation – Healers of the land and people comes in minor talents all the way up to the very powerful. Dalish have the ability to heal and use the land against their foes, very powerful magic. 

Neria doesn't really listen to the rest of the lesson hers the distraction of a droning voice of Senior Enchanter Sweeney and the constant chatter of Soris as the mage explains her next scheme to get them in trouble or getting away from her Templars for a few minutes. 

“So it’s true then?” Neria spins and wraps her arms around Fenrik getting up on her tippy toes to kiss him. It's been a year since she has been at the circle her magic staying in control with use of the mage metal earrings holding her for the most part. Crushing her against him he deepens the kiss and then lifts her up putting her legs around him leaning her against the wall. He stops long enough to pull his gauntlets off tossing them to the bed as he runs hands all over her. Theirs is a forbidden romance, which is always the way to go. 

“Yes, they are moving me to gen pop tomorrow. No more closed doors and no more escorts. Oh yes you torment me so in all this armor!” Fenrik chuckles at that even as he sets her on the floor lifting the hem of her nightgown. Lights out has been hours ago but Neria is guarded all hours of the night. Dropping to his knees in front of her he kisses the inside of her thighs before moving his kisses higher. Knowing she won't be able to stand for long he moves his helmet and gauntlets to the chest at the foot of her bed and lays her out like an offering on the bed. Dropping to his knees again he pulls her to the edge of the bed and places her legs on either side of his shoulders and licks mercilessly. Neria bucks in surprise and pleasure. Teasing her again and again with his tongue she is almost keening as he slips fingers in one at a time. 

“Oh ho, looky here boys.” Fenrik is on his feet in a moment but not fast enough, so not fast enough to avoid the dagger across his throat. Neria would have screamed but smite knocks her unconscious.


	5. Forced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Underage rape scene- NSFW YOU ARE WARNED!!
> 
> "Blue Skies and Fluffy Clouds, reach for them make them yours."-Fenrik

Neria wakes up minutes? Hours later extremely sore and her right eye won't open. Gathering her magic to her she isn’t fast enough to cast before they are on her again. This time she is conscious as the three Templars violate her over and over they are using a technique they have learned dealing with her. A way for each of the Templars to link to the next one their smites a net their cleanse a wave that crashes into her over and over until she is spent. She is not the first mage this has happened to probably won't be the last. She wonders where Cullen and Travis are, either of them should have been on duty and then she remembers she is being moved into the dorms with the other mages which meant no one will miss her for hours. It is her free day which meant no classes. Her friends might miss her but would assume she is with Irving or Gregor. She has the hated blue manacles on, her arms pinned behind her back. 

“Let her go.” She hears the voice but doesn't believe her ears. Suddenly flames erupt around the Templars and they scatter. Reaching for her magic again Neria curses as she is again denied. Her left arm won't move and neither will her leg. Looking down she notices her leg is at a wrong angle but doesn't register the pain from it. 

“Neria! Are you okay? Oh, Neria, darling. Here let me help you. How is your control?” 

“No magic cuffs.” She manages to say around chapped and swollen lips. Anders removes one cursing as it burns him and Neria feels her magic surging back. She can't warn Anders as he pulls the other one off and her magic explodes around them both. Neria feels the entire tower above her shudder with the explosion and she silently prays to the Maker she did not bring the entire tower down on her and Anders. 

“Stop, don’t heal me. Get back to your cell; they will kill you for this Anders.” Neria says around a slightly healed jaw.

“They aren’t dead though. Oh.” Anders shakes his head and goes back to his cell shutting himself in as Templars come charging down the steps to them.   
It is a scene Gregor hoped he would never relive with her again. Charred bodies all around and her standing in the middle of it flames licking up her body, Gregor shakes his head to realize she is sitting in the middle of the bodies and there are only three trunks though arms and legs and heads makes it look like there are more. “Neria?” She looks up at him and his breath comes out raggedly as he takes in her injuries. “What happened?” 

“Knight Commander, Fenrik is regaining consciousness in the healer’s wing.” One of the Templars says and then moves back to the door of the area.

“Thank You.” Gregor takes off his cloak and approaches Neria cautiously. “Get Anders, he can heal her enough so we can move her." He commands one of the Templars. Gregor wants nothing more than to banish the rest of the Templars and gather her into his arms but he can't. Dropping the cloak around her he hears Anders' intake of breath at the carnage. Gregor knows he is also her friend and is jealous this mage can gather her up in his arms and comfort her the way he cannot. “Anders, let the Templars know when she is okay to be moved. Templars make sure he is put back in his cell.” 

“Cullen, Knight Commander she needs Cullen or Travis. She’s not going to let one of the Templars she doesn’t know touch her.” Anders says roughly as Neria loses consciousness again. 

“Fine, Travis can deal with her. Cullen isn’t in the tower right now.” Gregor says and turns away.

Gregor heads back up with most of the Templars leaving Anders with his two guards. “Where is moi petite? Why would she be down here?” Travis stops at the base of the stairs to take in the scene of Anders casting healing as Neria is gathered in his arms clad only in a Templar cloak surrounded by charred bodies. 

“They beat her, raped her, and then she woke up.” Anders says it levelly with a look up at the Orlesian Templar. 

“How do you know this mon ami?” Travis asks crossing his arms.

“Because I got to hear the whole thing all night and day that is how. Where the hell were you?” Anders vibrates with anger, his eyes flashing as his magic starts to lose control. 

“She is moving into the dormitories today, we were all told last night was the last shift. Fenrik was her last Templar, where is he?” Travis looks around at the bodies doesn't recognize any of them. 

“Recovering from a slit throat in the clinic, she is ready to be moved.” Anders says rearranging the cloak to cover her.

“Are you in control?” Travis asks extending his hand to Anders. 

“I am a creation mage; you don’t have much to fear from me Templar.” Anders smiles tightly at Travis and does not take the offered hand. Travis lifts Neria and murmurs to her in Orlesian when she mumbles. “No idea how long she will stay out, I also can’t block her pain.” Nodding understanding at Anders statement Travis heads up the stairs with his charge. 

Travis wonders who has managed to get the drop on Fenrik and wonders how this all has happened. Neria is an extremely powerful mage; they would have had to plan this out to get the drop on both of them. Following the healing mage’s instructions on where to put Neria he goes over to check on Fenrik. His throat is a mess but will heal. “Is she alive?” Fenrik chokes out. 

“Yes, she’s alive. Want to talk about it?” Travis asks but Fenrik shakes his head no. Frowning again he brings a chair over to Neria’s bed and settles in for a long day of making sure Neria doesn't blow anything up. 

“Petra, if you don’t let me see her I swear I will cast nightmare on you while you sleep.” Soris can't cast either spell but Petra moves out of the way and Travis smiles as the tiny brunette makes her way over to Neria. “Hey Travis, how goes it?” 

“Decent, every time she wakes up she pulls magic so we’re trying to keep her calm.” 

“Ah well I think she is waking up again. “ Soris says releasing the hand she had held a moment ago. 

“Easy mon petite, nice and slow, mon du but you are trying to bring the tower down on us! Let the magic go mon petite or I will put you back out.” Travis says casting cleanse and keeping a hand on Neria's arm. 

“Oh, are you sure I didn’t already bring the tower down ugh everything hurts.” Neria says wiggling a little and trying to sit up.

“Positive, stay in contact with me now blue sky petite, fluffy clouds.” Neria chuckles at the imagery especially when it is said in Travis’ accent. 

“I missed these blue sky discussions when I was in prison.” Neria says winking at Travis. 

“Yeah well I would like to see the blue skies again so please let go of the magic, there we go.” Travis says even as he winces at her release. 

Sitting up but keeping her hand on Travis’ knee she really looks at him. “Where is the rest of you?” 

“What do you mean?” Travis asks puzzled. 

“Your armor, you’re not in your armor. I don’t think I have ever seen you out of it.” Neria says smiling slightly. 

“Ah, well today is actually my day off being you are supposed to join the regular population. They told me to report to the dungeon immediately and I did. You mon petite have been pulling various degrees of magic so here I am. I didn’t want you to wake up with another Templar near you, not after.” Travis indicates all of this with a hand. 

“Not your fault Travis. Not any of your fault except those that did this.” Neria smiles at the Templar and looks at Soris. “How is everything?”

“Decent, though your excitement is the talk of the tower of course.” Soris replies hooking Neria's hair behind her ear. "Irving is coming, I will come visit you later.” Soris leaves as Irving   
comes into the clinic and beeline to Neria. 

“How are you feeling?” Irving asks.

“Like I pulled the tower down on my head.” Neria responds honestly. 

“Can you tell me what happened?” Irving asks putting his hands in his robes and smiling. 

“First Enchanter, please step back. I don’t want to hurt you.” Travis says slightly getting out of his chair. 

“What oh Neria, are you in control?” Irving asks reaching for his magic. 

“Fenrik, Fenrik!” Neria has seen him lying so still in the bed and is reaching her magic to him. 

“Neria take my hands, Travis hang on a minute let me see if I can drain her.” Irving says reaching for Neria. 

“Not enough time Irving, not enough time mon petite I am so sorry.” Travis smites her and everything rattles for a moment. 

"Ugh, I think you got me too.” Irving says getting up from the floor.

“First Enchanter are you okay?” Wynne hurries over, 

“Yes Wynne, I am fine. Just being reminded how powerful a Templar’s smite is.” Wynne helps Irving up off the floor and dusts him off a bit. 

“I’ve healed Neria as much as I can for the moment. With her constant contact with the Templar I can’t really heal her much more.” The gray mage glares a bit at Travis who shrugs. 

“I would love to let you do your work on her Wynne but she is pulling magic even unconscious. “ 

“I know, I can feel it, I wonder if letting her magic run for a bit might actually be beneficial to her.” Wynne says tilting her head to the side.

“Where in Theades are we going to let her do that?” Travis asks exasperated and a bit tired. Constantly keeping cleanse cast on Neria is taxing for a solitary Templar, he's not had to do it since she first came back to the Tower. 

“Her room, it’s warded plus it’s fireproof. Also empty since her stuff was moved.” Wynne says. 

“Won’t that traumatize her more?” Travis asks even as he is gathering her into his arms. They had put a shift on her when she arrived and cleaned her up a bit.

“You need rest; she needs a place to let her magic run loose for a time. It will work.” Irving says pulling Travis out the door behind him. Following Irving they arrive at her room in record time. Neria is coming back up and pulling for even more magic. Walking into the room Travis shoos the First Enchanter out who closes the door just in time as Neria’s magic explodes out in an inferno. Flames swirl around them and Travis is wishing for his armor that is also enchanted against magic as it takes everything he has to hang onto Neria. Flames lick up and down his arms where he touches her and he feels the flames on his legs as well and sits down with her in his lap. 

Neria opens her eyes to see stone walls and her arm which still has flames dancing on it. Sitting up a little she realizes she is wrapped around a man. Bits and pieces of memory flood in and she looks down at Travis realizing how still he is. Sitting up quickly she touches his face and lets go of the magic feeling the flames wink out over her and him. “Travis? Please don’t be dead.” Groaning Travis opens his eyes and looks up at her. 

“Not dead petite. Sore though, stone is not comfortable to sleep on but you kept setting the mattress on fire.” Travis says with a wry smile. 

“Ah, sorry about that.” Neria says as she hooks her hair behind her ear. 

“How are you feeling?” Travis asks looking her over. 

“Much better thank you.” Neria nods and casts another heal on herself, she is limited since they have bound her again. 

“Good now let’s see if they will let us out of here shall we? Careful when you stand up, I am not sure how much healing the mages actually did on you.” Travis says getting up and offering her a hand. 

“Oaf, yeah ouch I am tender in all the wrong spots.” Neria says trying to not favor any specific body part since they all hurt. 

“Do you remember what happened?” Travis asks cupping her face to look at him. 

“Fenrik came in to let me know it was his shift and three Templars came and slit his throat. Smited me, I woke up and they raped me repeatedly. Kept me chained so I couldn't cast,   
managed to get one of the cuffs free and my magic went wild. Passed out again and woke up to body parts.” 

“Ah petite, it’s okay I am here now. Shh I’d love to wake them up and kill them again.” Travis says savagely. 

“Jowen can probably do that for us if you really want to.” Neria says through hiccuping tears. Travis smiles as he hugs the little mage before she settles down enough to stop crying. 

“Oh good, your both awake. Neria I need you to come with me to Gregor’s office are you up for the climb?” Irving asks opening the door. 

“I think I am.” Neria answers as Irving casts heal on her and rejuvenate and they take the stairs slowly with Travis there for her to lean on. 

She is flush and pale when they get to Gregor’s office. “Go get some rest Travis; I’ll take her to the dormitories when we’re done.” Saluting Travis leaves and Gregor immediately gathers Neria up into a hug. Neria dissolves into tears again clinging to Gregor as he and Irving have a silent conversation. When she finally settles down again she tells them the same thing she has told Travis. “Neria, you killed three men. I understand they attacked you so there will be no punishment. Do you think you will be okay in the dormitories or do you want to go back to your room?” Gregor asks not letting her go yet. 

“No, I want a normal life. I’ve always been a pariah but I need normal interactions.” Neria shakes her head and steps away from him. 

“Then let’s get you back to the dormitories, it will be lights out soon anyway." Irving says and escorts her to the dorms. 

“You will have to sleep on the board, we won't bind you yet. I don't think you will tolerate it.” Irving says and Neria nods her head in agreement.


	6. Duncan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The Maker smiles sadly on his Grey Wardens, so the Chantry says, as no sacrifice is greater than theirs” - Chantry saying

Pushing, pulling must find the source, it is here somewhere. Again and again they try to find it try to find the source of the call that incessant pull towards the Deep Roads source of the Darkspawn. Finally they found it. Blood, so much blood there will always be more always need more. Now the voice gives them purpose says to hunt and they will.

Duncan sits up, wipes his brow knows he is covered in a fine sheen of sweat his exposure of his upper torso to the night air making him shiver slightly. Shaking off the last pieces of the dream he looks at the man on duty nods as the man turns to him realizes it is Alistair. “Get the rest of them up, we need to get out of here.” Duncan struggles to his feet his body popping and snapping in protest at the quick movement. 

Alistair does not question the older man's reasons merely nods his blonde head and starts to wake the others. There are grumbles from the others but Alistair quickly quiets them his a quiet leadership others follow without realizing it. Once everyone is up and the fire is doused they get the camp ready to move Duncan's movements quick and efficient knowing hurrying will only slow them down care and deliberation must be the answer here. 

“Darkspawn are headed this way, nice size horde we need to get out of it's way and head to the surface. I think they found an Arch-demon.” Duncan says this glancing at each of the men he has with him, theirs a small unit of five the final escort for a Grey Warden Marcus who is with them now his hands tightening on his claymore his back straight. 

“In Peace, Vigilance. In War, Victory. In Death, Sacrifice.” Duncan offers Marcus along with his hand. 

“I thank you for the honor Commander Duncan, it was fine serving next to you.” Marcus holds Duncan's forearm in the greeting of warriors nods his head as he turns walking away from the other Wardens taking each of their arms as well. “Go, I will head off as many as I can.” 

Duncan nods, scratches at the black beard that covers his face gathers the other Wardens their goal the surface, they need to warn them. Packs are set weapons are harnessed and it is a fast pace back past the thaigs, old dwarven ruins until they are at the surface. “Gaven Theris, go to the elves warn them if you can tell them the old one is awake he will start another blight. Alistair, take Ben with you your goal is Denerim, talk to the king if you can. I will join you as soon as I can, I still need to get to the Circle, First Enchanter has a mage he thinks would be a great Grey Warden. Ash, Jordan you are with me.” Duncan says goodbye to the other Wardens makes his way to the Circle of Ferelden. 

“I thought you could only have one mage per territory.” Ash asks keeping up easily with Duncan as the man sets a grueling pace. 

“Normally yes but it is a blight and this one is worth it.” Duncan looks at the mage, blonde hair and green eyes. His hair is bound halfway back showing off the full set of earrings in his ears looks at the wrists that bear the mage metal bindings. Proof of his fire gift, looks at Jordan the Templar turned Grey Warden who also shares the mage's bed and heart. 

“I won't go into the tower Duncan, I can't.” Ash reminds the man as they get closer to the Circle it's high spires surrounded by the water of the lake. 

“You can stay at the lake, Jordan will need to come with me. Shouldn't be more than a couple of days, catch up on your potion making.” Duncan checks into the Spoiled Princess leaves the dock with Jordan in the boat.


	7. Harrowing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You can control the fade, do not let it control you."-First Enchanter Irving

“Neria, you need to come with me.” Cullen says catching Neria coming down the steps. 

“Okay but I have a meeting with Irving in his office in a few minutes.” 

“Your meeting with Irving is in the Harrowing chamber.” Cullen says smiling slightly. 

“I’m not sure if I like this Birthday present.” Neria jokes as she walks with Cullen up the steps. It is her 18th birthday, 14 years since she has come here with Irving and Gregor. Shaking her head at the memories they arrive at the top of the tower and she walks in front of Cullen to see both Irving and Gregor there. 

“Magic exists to serve man and never to rule over him. Thus spoke the prophet Andraste as she cast down the Tevinter Imperium. Ruled by mages who has brought the world to the edge of ruin. Your magic is a gift but it is also a curse for demons of the dream realm are drawn to you and seek to use you as a gateway into this world. “Gregor says pacing in front of Neria.

“This is why the Harrowing exists. The ritual sends you into the Fade, and there you must face a demon armed with only your will. “Irving comes to stand beside Neria. 

“I am ready.” Neria says looking at one and then the other. 

“Know this apprentice, if you fail we Templars will perform our duty, you will die.” Gregor says this calmly and Neria believes him. 

“This is lyrium: the very essence of magic and your gateway into the Fade.” Gregor continues, gesturing at the dais with the lyrium on it. 

“The Harrowing is a secret out of necessity child. Every mage must go through this trial by fire. As we succeeded, so shall you. Keep your wits about you and remember the fade is a realm of dreams. The spirits may rule but your own will is real.” Irving adds. 

“The apprentice must go through this test alone First Enchanter. You are ready.” Gregor smiles slightly at the end. 

Squaring her shoulders Neria walks to the lyrium and dips her hand in it pulling herself into the Fade. Looking around Neria is surprised by the monochromatic landscape. Brown dirt is the theme of the day with a smattering of rocky landscaping. She stands on a hill overlooking several other islands. There is a huge statue of a man with his arms out and blades attached. 

Walking up to it the codex attached to it gives her information on the Black City. Committing most of the information to memory she is struck in the back with a shock. “What is this now?” Neria spins and casts a Winter Grasp on the glowing orb that has cast at her. Finishing it off with an arcane bolt Neria approaches the body of the thing and ducks as another bolt of energy comes at her. Casting flames on this one and following that up with another bolt she walks farther down the path. There is a swirling portal at the end of the path which is blocked by a minor rage demon. Casting Winter on it she goes to smack it with her staff and realizes she doesn't have one. Hitting it with shock it shatters prettily. Walking through the portal she comes to another island and is surprised to see a mouse dodging the fire of a rage demon. Taking out the demon she is more surprised when the mouse turns into a man. 

“Someone else thrown to the wolves, as fresh and unprepared as always. It isn’t right that they do this, the Templars. Not to you, me anyone.”

“Right or not I will succeed.” 

“But they keep doing it don’t they? We get treated like rabid dogs and we let them get away with it. It’s always the same. But it’s not your fault. You’re in the same boat I am, aren’t you?   
Allow me to welcome you to the fade; you can call me… well mouse.” 

“Not your real name I take it?” 

“No, I don’t remember anything…from before. The Templars kill you for taking too long, you see. They figure you failed, and they don’t want something getting out. That’s what they did to me, I think. I have no body to reclaim. You don’t have much time before they do the same.” 

“So what am I supposed to do then?” 

“There is something here, contained just for an apprentice like you. You have to face the creature, a demon and resist it if you can. That is your way out. If the Templars wouldn’t kill you,   
a test for you a tease for the creatures of the Fade. “ 

“Anything can die, I doubt it’s as simple as that. “ 

“You would be a fool to just attack everything you see. What you face is powerful, cunning. There are others here, other spirits. They will tell you more, maybe help. If you can believe   
anything you see. I’ll follow, if that’s all right. My change is long ago, but you... you may have a way out.” 

“As you wish Mouse.” He turns back into a mouse to follow at Neria’s heels. She continues forward until Mouse told her there is another spirit ahead. Looking to her left on the ridge there is a spirit that has weapons. His name is Valor and he challenges Neria to a duel. 

“If you win you may have one of my weapons.” Neria nods and as the Spirit comes at her she freezes him in place even as he let out a bellow that rattles her where she stands. Recovering she sees the ice cracking and hits him with a shock which he smiles at as he bows to her.

“You are worthy of my weapon mage, use it well.” Grasping the staff she smiles as it seems to light up from within and then she continues with Mouse down the path.

“Beware; the next spirit is very powerful.” Approaching they are greeted by a huge bear thing that is covered in spikes and seems to be missing some of his skin and fur. Neria nearly gags with the smell of him.

“A sloth demon, be careful.” Mouse cautions as she approaches. “Oh, what does the fade offer me now? I can eat you up but why bother?” At this the sloth demon laid down in her path. 

“I really need your help defeating this demon.” “You have a staff. Go; use your weapon since you have earned it. Be valorous.” 

“He looks powerful. It might be possible that he can teach you to be like him.” Mouse says.

“Teach the mortal to be like me? No most mortals are too attached to their own forms to use another. You on the other hand, little one, might be a better student. You let go of the human form years ago.” 

“I don’t think I’d make a very good bear, how would I hide?” 

“Hiding doesn’t solve anything. We need to face our fears.” Neria states nodding at the Mouse.

“What you say is true, fine I will try it.” 

“That’s nice but teaching is so exhausting, away with you now.” 

“I told you he isn’t going to help us.”

“Mouse wants to learn sloth please teach him.” 

“You want to learn my form, little one? Then I have a challenge for your friend. Answer three riddles correctly and I will teach you. Fail and I will devour your both. The decision is yours.” 

“I accept your challenge.” Neria says.

“Truly? This gets more and more promising. My first riddle is this. I have seas with no water, coasts with no sand, towns without people, and mountains without land. What am I?” 

“A map of course.” 

“Correct. The second riddle. I am rarely touched but often held. If you have wit you’ll use me well, what am I?” 

“Tongue.” 

“Yes your witty tongue. Fair enough, one more try shall we? Often I will spin a tale; never will I charge a fee. I’ll amuse you an entire eve, but alas, you won’t remember me. What am I?” 

“A dream.” 

“You are correct. Rather apropos here in the Fade no? But you have won my challenge and proven yourself an amusing distraction. SO I shall teach you my form. Now listen carefully.” 

“Like this? AM I a bear? It feels, heavy.” 

Neria claps in delight at her friend as he is indeed a bear. “Go then, and defeat your demon or whatever you intend to do. I grow weary of your mortal prattling.”  
Smiling they turn back and return to the large clearing Mouse has pointed out earlier for her trial. Neria approaches the clearing warily.

“And so it comes to me at last. Soon I shall see the land of the living with your eyes creature. You shall be mind, body and soul. “

“It’s two against one; the odds are not in your favor.” 

“Amusing mouse. Have you not told it of our arrangement?”

“We don’t have an arrangement, not anymore!”

“Awe and after all those wonderful meals we have shared? Now suddenly the mouse has changed the rules?” 

“I’m not a mouse now! And soon I won’t have to hide! I don’t need to bargain with you!” 

“We shall see.” 

The demon summons two wisps to help but Neria focuses on the demon and vanquishes him which makes the wisps wink out of existence.  
“You did it. You actually did it! When you came, I hoped that maybe you might be able to... but I never really thought any of you are worthy.”

“That seemed a bit too easy.” 

“The others, they never has a chance. The Templars set them up to fail, like they tried with you. I regret my part in it, but you have shown me that there is hope. You can be so much more than you know.”

“So what do you think you can get from me?” 

“You defeated a demon, you completed your test. With time, you will be a master enchanter with no equal. Maybe there is hope in that for someone as small and as forgotten as me. If you   
want to help. There may be a way for me to leave here, to get a foothold outside. You just need to want to let me in.” 

“I’m starting to think the other demon isn’t my real test.” 

“What? What are you, of course it is! What else is here that can harm an apprentice of your potential?” As he says this Mouse begins to distort and grow. “You’re a smart one, simple killing is a warrior’s job. The real dangers of the fade are preconception, careless trust and pride. Keep your wits about your mage. True tests never end.”

Neria can feel herself being pulled out of the fade and smiles as she knows she has passed.


	8. I Trusted You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You were the one who held my hand the first night they put me on the board, now you stand before me blood on your hands asking for mercy. I am not sure I have any."-Neria

“Are you all right? Say something please…” It is Jowen’s voice and Neria isn’t sure she really wants to answer it. 

“Jowen?” 

“I’m glad you’re all right. They carried you in this morning; I didn’t even realize you’d been gone all night. We’ve both heard about apprentices who never come back from the Harrowing. Is it really that dangerous? What is it like?” Jowen is practically bouncing from foot to foot in excitement. Black hair, brown eyes and eyelashes to make the girls jealous. Jowen is not impressive in his magic or appearance but he is a good friend. Neria sighs as she comments. 

“Please don’t ask me Jowen, safe to say it is different for everyone and mine was Harrowing.” 

“Har har great joke. Younger than me and already a real mage. Guess your time here with us low levels is short lived. You’ll be put with the real mages by the end of the day. Oh before I   
forget First Enchanter wants you to join him when you woke up.” Jowen says staying away from the bed and the metal board on it. 

“Ah, I am guessing he is in his study then?” Neria says shaking her head to clear the cobwebs.

“Yes, can I tell you something though?” Jowen is whispering now. 

“Sure, anything Jowen.” 

“I think they are going to make me tranquil. I should have already been tested.” Real fear enters his voice as he says this. 

“You will be tested when you are ready Jowen, I can mention it to the First Enchanter if you think it will make a difference.” Neria dismisses the fears with a wave of her hand. 

“You would?” Jowen is surprised and Neria tilts her head at him and responds. 

“Of course, you are one of my longest most loyal friends Jowen.” 

Swinging her legs over the bed Neria gets to her feet and smiles at a couple of the apprentices in the room though winces at the tender back, her tattoo is in place. 

“I heard Ser Cullen say it was the quickest, cleanest Harrowing he’s ever seen.” One says as another smiles and waves at Neria. Shaking her head at the sudden popularity she heads into the hall to get to the stairs up. 

“Congrats Neria, I knew you could do it.” Cullen says quietly. 

“Thank you Cullen.” Neria says approaching the Templar. 

“You know they picked me to deliver the killing blow if you didn’t wake up.” That stops her for a moment. 

“Would you have done it?” Neria is truly curious. 

“Yes, I wouldn’t have failed in my duty Neria. Maker help us all if a demon manages to get a hold of you.” Cullen shakes his head as he says it. 

“Fair enough, walk with me to Irving’s office?” Neria places a hand on Cullen's arm and is rewarded with a smile as he puts his hand over hers. 

“Missing the escort everywhere?” Neria laughs at that though there are times when she does miss Travis, Cullen and Fenrik. Travis was at her Harrowing but has kept his distance after her   
ordeal almost a year ago. She shakes her head realizing it has almost been a year since that night. That night destroyed her and Fenrik’s relationship though. He would wear the scars on his throat for the rest of his life much like hers on her wrists. Despite her love for him she hasn’t been able to tolerate any touch like that since. Eventually their relationship turned into an easy friendship. 

Cullen nods at the Templars standing in the hall in front of Irving’s office as she enters. With the Enchanter is Gregor and a dark fellow in very expensive armor. Gregor and Irving are arguing about the mages being sent to the war. Many have gone but this dark fellow wants more. “Excuse me Gregor, Irving it looks like there is someone to see you.” 

“Ah child welcome. Congratulations on passing your Harrowing, to be honest I knew you would.” Irving says smiling and waving her closer. 

“Is this the mage you are talking to me about Irving?” 

“This is indeed she. Oh excuse me, Neria this is Duncan, a Grey Warden.” Irving indicates the stranger. 

“A pleasure to meet you Duncan, Grey Wardens are a fine group and we are thankful for their service.” Neria says smiling at Duncan. 

“Irving, I see you are busy. We will discuss this later.” Gregor says calling attention to himself. 

“As you wish Gregor.” Irving says and nods to him.

Gregor leaves and Neria ignores the sting of the lack of praise from him. Only behind closed doors and only sometimes with Irving did Gregor show affection for her. “If you do not mind Irving, I think I will leave you to your meeting with Neria.” Duncan says still looking at Neria. 

“Ah yes, one moment longer though and she can show you to your room. Here now Neria, your phylactery has been sent to Denerim and here is your robes and your staff. You have worked hard for them.” Irving hands the staff over and Neria takes it. 

“Good to know my leash made it to where it needed to go.” Neria is bitter about that. 

“I’m sorry; I do not know what a phylactery is? Is that the sample of her blood the Templars can use to track her if needed?” Duncan asks quietly. 

“Yes, it is a necessary evil. I know you will want to change into your robes Neria, use my office dear.” Smiling Neria dashes off to put the new robes on. They are in the blue and gray of the circle. Finished she comes back out and grabs her staff, it would take some getting used to compare to her old staff. This one has a red globe on it that pulses. 

Trying to twirl it a bit Neria nearly clocks Duncan who expertly ducks and pushes Irving out of range. “Shall I show you to your room?” Neria offers Duncan with a flourish of her staff giving him a disarming smile. 

“Yes, thank you.” Duncan smiles as she puts the staff in its holder on her back. 

“Do you mind if I ask you questions about the dark-spawn and the war as we walk?” Neria asks casting a look at the Warden. Duncan is surprised by her eyes; he’d never seen anything   
like them before. 

“Not at all though I do have a question for you, do you know who your parents are?” Duncan asks falling into step with her. 

“No, how much has Irving told you about me?” Neria asks holding his gaze as they walk. 

“Not very much, only that you are a very promising student who he hopes will serve the circle well.” Duncan says diplomatically and Neria smiles, 

“Ah, well I was found outside Denerim walls in a field surrounded by bodies.” She offers looking away for a moment. 

“Interesting.” Duncan says and indicates for her to continue. 

“I was three or four; I don’t know who my parents are or really anything about myself before I came here. Is there anything else you would like to know?” Neria asks trying to stay calm as   
she discusses this. 

“Not right now no, what did you want to know about the dark-spawn?” Duncan tries to get her to look at him again and is rewarded. 

“What are they? Where do they come from? Is there really blight? How is the war going?” Duncan chuckles at the flood of questions and holds his hand up to stem the tide. 

“Legends say the maker cast the Old Gods deep into the earth and those old gods are the beginning of the dark-spawn The Deep Roads of Orzammar are always teaming with dark-spawn   
and it is there most say they began. As for the blight, we are not sure if this is an actual blight. Ah, this must be my room then?” Neria has paused in front of the appointed room and smiles as he looks at the accommodations. 

“Yes, I need to return to Irving though I would like to speak to you more if I can later.” 

“I shall look forward to it Neria.” Leaving the room she notices Jowen practically hoping from foot to foot to talk to her. 

“What’s going on Jowen?” 

“I need to speak with you alone, will you come with me?” Jowen is nervous which makes her nervous. 

“Of course.” Neria follows Jowen into the Chantry and over to a woman in Chantry robes and her heart starts to hammer. 

“This is Lily, my girlfriend.” 

“Jowen, this is forbidden and you know it.” Neria shakes her head at him. 

“I know but I need your help. Lily and I need your help.” 

“Slow down Jowen, what is going on?” Neria tries to soothe him. 

“They are going to make me tranquil. They suspect me of blood magic and Lilly saw the order on Gregor’s desk to make me tranquil. If they do that then I won’t feel anything anymore, I   
don’t want to be tranquil.” 

“What do you want me to do about it?” Neria asks warily. 

“Help us break into the repository and destroy my phylactery, then Lilly and I can escape.” Jowen says in a rush and looks at her earnestly. 

“I, how will we get into the repository?” Neria wonders trying to think this through. 

“I can get us into most of the doors; there is one door that requires a mage to get through it.” Lilly offers. 

“One that has been through the harrowing then, anything else we might need?” Neria asks quietly

“A fire rod might be useful to get into the other doors.” Neria lifts her eyebrow at that, but nods. 

“Fine I will get this rod for you, wait here it shouldn’t take me long.” Neria spins on her heel and retraces her steps to Irving’s office. 

“Yes child?” Irving asks.

“Why hasn’t Jowen been through the Harrowing?” Neria is scared and her questions are flat. 

“He will be tested when he is ready though his relationship with a Chantry Initiate doesn’t help either. Don’t look surprised, did you actually think I don’t know what happens around here?”   
Irving chuckles slightly. 

“He fears he will be made tranquil.” Neria admits. 

“What is he planning?” Neria twists her hands at Irving's question and wonders if she can betray her friend. 

“Nothing that I am aware of, I can find out if you like.” 

“Please do and report back to me, you will not help him by not telling me Neria.” Nodding at Irving's warning Neria turns though Irving stops her again, “Neria, what are your thoughts on   
becoming a Grey Warden?” 

“I would love to, they sound so brave and strong. Am I going to go to the war now that I have passed my Harrowing?” Neria watches Irving waits for his reply. 

“Potentially. Now go enjoy your day Neria.” Irving shoos her out watches as she leaves. 

“If you want a rod of fire you will need the signature of a senior enchanter.” Owain says not letting her get one from the stock room. Sighing in frustration she remembers Sweeney in the   
library. 

“Enchanter Sweeny?” 

“Yes child?” Sweeny asks smiling at Neria. 

“I want a rod of fire; can you sign this so I can get one?” Neria hands him the paper. 

“So long as you put it to good use to burn the robes of those Isolationists of course.” Rolling her eyes at Sweeney’s political tendencies she takes the form back to Owain and returns to   
Lilly and Jowen with it. “One rod of fire, let’s get this done.” They make their way down to the basement which also holds classrooms for more powerful spell practices. She is a regular down here so the Sentinels don't even glance at her. However they become a bit agitated when she uses the rod on one of the doors. Quickly dispatching them she looks towards another door.

“We might be able to get to it from the Depository Room. It shares a wall with the Repository.” Neria says continuing down the hall. 

Working their way past the old classrooms and storage they enters the Repository and Neria smiles. This is one of her favorite rooms with all of its old bits of treasure from all over the empire and the history all the objects has. Tracing her finger over an Iron-bark staff she smiles as the staff calls to her, Lilly touches her shoulder to draw her away from the staff and she smiles at the pretty red head. Approaching the wall that shares the wall with the repository she motions Jowen to help her with the bookshelf. “We can’t cast in here but there is an amplifier dog we can use with the control rod. Should be enough power to knock a hole in this wall.” Neria says making sure everyone is out of the way before she touches the rod to the amplifier. There is a huge boom and the wall crumbles. 

“We did it, now hurry we need to find my phylactery.” Jowen says helping Lilly through the hole.

“I wish mine hasn’t been already sent to Denerim, I can come with you.” Neria is wistful in her request.

“You are welcome to come with us anyways Neria you have no idea how much this means to me.” Jowen says. Finally finding Jowen’s blood he smashes it on the ground. 

“Jowen, I have to tell you Irving knows about you and Lilly.” Neria blurts. 

“Why would you tell him?” Lilly is furious. 

“I didn’t, but you should know he is aware. Go hurry, I will distract Irving if I can.” Neria is shooing them away. 

Jowen and Lilly leave and Neria wonders how on earth she is going to get out of this mess. Figuring enough time has passed she heads up the stairs. Jowen and Lilly are there, but so is Gregor and Irving. “I see your hunch is correct Irving, she seems to be in full control of her faculties. Not a thrall then. Neria I am disappointed.” Gregor has cast cleanse on her automatically. 

“You initiate will be taken to The Aeonar.” Gregor says to Lilly. 

“The mages prison, no!” Lilly backs away in fear. “I won’t let you touch her!” Jowen yells and then he cuts himself. Blood pours and immense magic swirls around Jowen. 

“You see, he is a blood mage!” Gregor accuses and Neria is trying to pull magic. 

“You, no, I loved you Jowen how can you?” Lilly is retreating from Jowen who is walking towards her. 

“I dabbled, I was going to give it up, and I was going to give up all magic just for you.” Jowen says reaching for Lilly 

“No don’t touch me!” Lilly is cowering from Jowen.

Gregor is reaching for his smite. Jowen’s magic knocks everyone out though. Quickly coming to Neria rushes over to Gregor and Irving. “Are you okay child?” Irving asks he is on his knees a cut on his forehead. 

“Yes, are you? I am so sorry First Enchanter, Knight- Commander, I had no idea he is a blood mage.” Neria is afraid and furious. 

“You helped him escape! A blood mage! Where is the initiate?” Gregor is on his feet in a moment furious. 

“Here sir, I will accept whatever punishment the Chantry gives me.” Lilly is defeated and Neria shakes her head. 

“Yes you will, and you! You will be going to Aeonar.” Gregor says glaring at Lilly and then Neria even as she shakes her head no. 

“If I may Knight Commander?” Duncan is walking into the room and quickly steps between Gregor and Neria. 

“Not only am I looking for mages for the war but Grey Wardens. I will take this mage and bear responsibility for her actions tonight.” Duncan says keeping his back to Neria. 

“No, Duncan she is not going to be rewarded by her actions to become a Grey Warden.” Gregor says true fear gripping him. 

“Then I hereby conscript this mage into the order of Grey Wardens.” Duncan places a hand on her shoulder and stands next to Neria. 

“Be warned Weissiupt will hear of this Duncan.” Gregor leaves in a rage and Neria is crying already. 

“There now child, dry your eyes. This truly is the best thing for you. It will get you out of the tower and on your path to greatness. I do have a present for you before you go though. It’s a   
birthday present and now a reminder of who and what you are.” Irving brings out a small box and smiles as Neria opens it and gasps. 

“Oh it’s beautiful!” it is a silver bracelet worked with fine wire and patterns. As Neria turns the bracelet in her hand she smiles at the way the pattern shimmers and changes.

“This is worked with cleanse spell attached to it much like those shackles you wore in Aeonar. This is to help you control your magic. Run your finger over this pattern to activate it when you feel yourself lose control. I must warn you it will only work so long as Gregor is alive though. Upon his death you will have to find another Templar to cast the spell on it.” Nodding Neria hugs Irving and wipes her eyes. Looking around the dormitory she is sad to know she has no time to say good bye to anyone. Neria slides on the bracelet and activates it, feeling the cooling effect of the spell she smiles feeling Gregor’s arms around her in a hug.


	9. Heavy is the Crown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Dragons come in many shapes and sizes but the universal truth is they breath fire. Remember that."-Tyrein Loghain

“Duncan, if you are taking Neria you will need Templars.” Gregor has settled down since the confrontation Neria is contained in the fire room bound in chains. 

“I have one, I present Jordan he's a Grey Warden who was fully trained as a Templar.” Duncan indicates the man beside him.

“You will need more than one for Neria Duncan, I have two Templar recruits that would join you. Henry and Ian both are trained in how to control Neria I can show Jordan if you like.” Gregor offers subtly testing Jordan's skills as he speaks. 

“I will gladly accept any training Knight-Commander would give me.” Jordan is formal his accent not pointing to anywhere in particular. 

Gregor takes the Templars to a lower room shows Jordan how to link, how to cast a net to suppress Neria to keep the cleanses crashing against her like a wave. Finally happy with the way Jordan is casting he leads them back up gets Neria who sits on her bed her wrists bound in manacles a chain between them her legs that are crossed also show shackles the chain there linking to the one on her waist. “Oh Duncan is going to love this. She's an elementalist?” Jordan asks hears Gregor laugh turns as the man shake his head no. 

“Meet Neria Tellas, 7th level primal mage.” Gregor opens the door watches Jordan's jaw tighten. 

Neria follows Jordan quietly hers the quiet of fear. They have removed the chain from her legs just keeps her hands bound and chained though Jordan shoulders the chains and gloves that are hers when needed notices her earrings are bound in metal as well. Duncan's eyebrow lifts when he sees Neria in chains doesn't say anything until they are outside. 

“We will be traveling to Ostregar, that is where King Cailan has gathered his forces to take a stand against the gathering Horde of Dark-spawn” Duncan says as they set out. Neria takes a deep breath as she steps from the tower onto the grass. “How long as it been?” Duncan asks. 

“6 years since I have been out of the tower.” Neria looks up and smiles at the night sky and its smattering of stars. Jordan waits as Neria enjoys the grass shakes his head no when the recruits would stop her. 

Rowing over to the Inn Ash walks out to greet them stops when he sees the elf behind Jordan feels the mage and her power. “Neria Tellas, you recruited the Primal well this should be fun.” Ash walks towards her watches as Neria doesn't cower or speak but regards him with those lavender grey eyes. “Name is Ash, Elementalist Grey Warden at your service.” 

“You are bound, do you have flames too?” Neria asks quietly sees the earrings and the manacles. 

“Yes, my primary is spirit though which helps a bit. I still have explosions but only when necessary who are the other two?”

“Henry and Ian, Templar Recruits that would rather join the Grey they also have experience controlling Neria Gregor thought they might come in handy.” Duncan responds introducing the pair. “Lets get some rest folks, long march ahead of us.” 

They rest in the Inn across the lake called the Spoiled Princess. In the morning they head out and Duncan almost runs her over as Neria stops and looks up at the blue sky with fluffy clouds and cries. 

“Are you okay?” Duncan asks tentatively. 

“Yes, when I have problems trying to control my magic the Templars always told me to picture blue skies with fluffy clouds and to make shapes with them.” Neria says smiling. 

“Did it work?” Duncan looks up at the clouds as well. 

“Sometimes, problem is I don't get to see the blue sky or fluffy clouds very often so it is very hard to concentrate on something they take for granted every day. If I tell you to come to me and hang on please know I am not trying to hit on you. Best place to be when my magic goes wild is right next to me. Also don’t freak out when you see flames going up and down my body.” Neria says looking at him in earnest. 

As they walk Neria answers questions about the circle, about mages in general. “How do the Templars know what level mage they are dealing with?” Duncan asks one night as they camp. It's not a question Jordan would ever answer. 

“Brands that are put on our skin. Here, I'll show you.” Neria pulls up her sleeves. Right one has flames in a circle with a C; right one has a green complicated knot on it. 

“Right one is primary school, you get those when you first show your magic, and C means Lake Calenhad Circle. Left one you get when you earn proficiency with it. Right shows I am a primal mage left shows my secondary is creation. Spirits have a shield and entropy has a skull. Primal mages are also tattooed with the dragon on their back. It gets more complicated as we go up the levels. I am a level 7 so I have a full dragon on my back.” 

Duncan nods at this. “None of the other schools get that?” 

“No, though the tattoos can show a Templar the level of the mages depending on how complicated it is.” Neria says smiling. 

“Do malificar remove them?” Duncan asks. 

“It’s more a brand than a Tattoo, they could probably do it but it would be excruciating. Primal are branded on their backs because usually we are so scarred from the bindings Templars can't read our wrists. Hence why mine are the way they are.” Neria finishes pulling her sleeves down. “Certain Templars can tell levels, Gregor can being Knight-Commander. He can tell what level a mage is by proximity, he's very sensitive to magic.” Neria says smiling sadly thinking about Gregor. 

Jordan works with the Recruits about fighting Dark-spawn, works with Neria as well along with Ash. Neria won't generally let the Recruits touch her is wary of them. “Easy Neria, we need to bind you for sleep submit.” Ian asks again as Neria glares at him doesn't want any of them to touch her. 

“Ian, you're way too nice to her. Neria submit now.” Henry yanks the chains out of Ian's hand approaches Neria is knocked on his ass when Neria explodes flames dancing over her skin. 

“Keep your hands off me Henry.” Neria is flaming like a bonfire the fire in the fire pit reacting to her leaping and dancing. Duncan watches carefully he doesn't want to interfere, these two need to learn to work with Neria need to earn her trust. 

“That is Ser Henry to you mage now submit.” Henry smites her smiles as Neria hits her knees. 

“You will regret your treatment of me one day Henry, you will learn to fear me.” Neria bites out dodges the kick he tries to land on her in a move Jordan showed her scampers away sends a gout of fire at the Templar. 

“Neria, control. Calm yourself please, there is no reason for the display.” Ian steps between the two dodges another gout of flames. “Dammit link, she's lost control.” Ian waits for Jordan to direct it Neria is back on her knees as the waves of the cleanse wash over her. “Easy Neria, blue skies and fluffy clouds control the magic.” Ian is speaking softly to her she still watches him though does offer her wrists for the chains waits as he checks her other bindings gets her to the bedroll putting the gloves on and riving stakes into the ground to keep her contained. 

“You handled that well.” Jordan admits keeps Ash close as the other two Templars sit back down at the fire. 

“Force is not the way with Neria, she's been abused before.” Ian admits glowers at Henry who looks sheepish. 

“Her magic hasn't settled either, she's just going to get more powerful.” Jordan looks at Duncan shaking his head at the Commander.

“Shake your head all you want Jordan, she's a powerful mage and we need all the help we can get.” Duncan smiles slightly at that hopes Neria passes the joining. 

They are about two days from their destination when disaster strikes in the form of a horde of Dark-spawn. It is dark and Neria is chained to the ground as the fight rages on around her she is unable to help them can't get the gloves off, can't get the chains loose is forced to watch as Ash falls to an arrow through the eye Jordan to a cut to the abdomen Henry lands in the gut of an ogre though Ian survives long enough to help Duncan kill the last of them before he is killed as well. 

“Neria, we need to get out of here there are more on the way.” Duncan gets the gloves off gets her loose quickly throwing chains into the pack is pushing her in front of him as they flee.

“I hope you have another Templar stashed somewhere Duncan, I can't operate without one.” Neria is crying when they stop she had liked Ian, Ash and Jordan. 

“Ash taught you some techniques you can use those, I do have another Grey Warden that might help us we'll see when we get to Ostregar.” Duncan lets her cry doesn't admonish her for them sheds some as well for Ash and Jordan. 

Ostregar is two more days travel and Neria is mighty tired of walking when they get there. They are greeted by the king himself. “Your Majesty! I was not expecting.” Duncan says surprised. 

“A royal welcome? I heard you were coming with a new recruit and wanted to give you a proper greeting. I take it this is she?” Cailan indicates Neria with a hand. 

“Yes, Neria may I present King Cailan.” Neria bows in the greeting she has seen the Templars do for years. Cailan takes it in stride though a couple of the men behind him laugh a little. Neria raises an eyebrow in question at Duncan who shakes his head.

“I welcome you warmly Neria of the Circle and know you will be a welcome addition to the Warden Ranks.” 

“I am thankful for the chance your Majesty.” Neria says mystified. 

“Now I shall fight with the mighty Duncan at my side like the tales of old. I apologize for the shortness of my greeting but I must get back or Loghain will get antsy.” Neria goes to bow   
again and Duncan stops her with a hand to her elbow even as he does bow. 

“Why did you bow?” Duncan asks as he leads Neria over to get the rest of their gear. 

“Isn’t that what you are supposes to do when greeting a king?” Neria responds curious.

“Yes but you are supposed to curtsy.” 

“What is a curtsy and why would I do that?” Smiling at Neria’s true confusion Duncan shakes his head. 

“Never mind, in the meantime you heard the king. We have been doing well against the dark-spawn and there is one more battle to come up.” 

“You don’t sound confident. You don’t think we will win?” Neria says crossing her arms. 

“I hope we do but we have not seen the Arch demon that marks this as a true blight and that worries me.” 

“Then we will do what we can.” Neria says trying to comfort Duncan. 

“Our camp is across this bridge near the King’s tent. Take some time to get the lay of the camp and get something to eat. When you are ready find Alistair, another Grey Warden who will   
be helping you prepare for the Joining. Tell him to gather the recruits and meet me at the Warden fire. We need to do the Joining soon but I would like to start preparations tonight.” Neria nods in understanding and explores the part of the ruins that are Ostregar before her stomach drives her to find food across the bridge. 

Once across the bridge she sees an encampment for the mages with Templars blocking the entrance. Then she sees a familiar face standing in front of a tree. Hurrying over she smiles as Wynne greets her. "I hear congratulations are in order Neria. You passed your Harrowing and are now bound for the Grey Wardens. I know you will do well." 

"Thank you Wynne, it is good to see you as well. Headed into battle with the rest of them?" 

"In a sense yes, as healing mage they prefer to keep me at the back." 

"As a Primal they will want me at the front I am sure.” 

"You will do just fine Neria, you always do." Nodding her head Neria moves towards the scent of food and finds a Knight enjoying a bowl of stew. 

"Ser Jory at your service, you must be the new Warden recruit." 

"I am can I assume you are joining the Wardens as well?" 

"I hope so." Jory hands Neria a full bowl and they eat in companionable silence. Finished she goes to the Quartermaster who outfits her with gloves, better shoes and a helmet of sorts. 

"Oh if you are looking for Alistair he is up that way and if you'd be so kind as to hand him his helmet I would be appreciated." 

"Of course." Neria has also purchased potions and finds a couple of recipes and bought the supplies for those. She has never really studied herbalism but thinks it might help in battle. As she heads towards Alistair she sees a rakish man trying to talk his way into a lady soldier's pants. She is having none of it though and he spies her and gives her a once over. 

"You’re not what I expected you to be. Names Daverth, Warden recruit." 

"ah, names Neria and what are you expecting?" 

"Well a warrior of sorts really. Duncan has said he is coming back with another recruit didn't say anything about mages." 

"I promise you I can hold my own and I can heal a little." Neria says with a wink. 

"Then welcome aboard and I'll watch your back if you watch mine." Smiling at Daverth she heads over to see where Alistair is.   
She is walking past Loghain's tent when he comes out of it. “Ah, Grey Warden recruit?” Loghain says and Neria stops and turns to look at him. Cailan and Duncan are with him. 

“Yes Ser, I am Neria, Grey Warden recruit and mage from the Circle.” 

“Duncan tells me you are a primal mage.” Loghain continues.

“I am a 7th level primal mage Ser.” Neria answers warily. 

“The dragon is my coat of arms, I was curious to see if I could see your tattoo.” Loghain finally asks and Neria sighs in relief. She looks to Duncan who nods his head slightly. 

“If your grace would like to see as well you are welcome to. I will warn you it's a bit raw, I had other scars to contend with.” Neria walks into Loghain's tent and waits as the men follow her   
and tamps down her fear. When sufficient light is provided Neria turns her back and drops her robes to her waist. 

“Impressive.” Cailan says. 

“Is it a Tattoo or is it branded?” Loghain asks closer now. 

“You may touch if you like Ser, it is not tender.” Loghain traces the tattoo's head and wings. 

“We get a dragon for every level of Primal, I am 7th level so I have 7.” 

“These other scars? What happened?” Cailan asks tracing a couple of them gently. Neria pulls her robe up and lets her hair fall. 

“Control training, sometimes it worked.” She offers the king a tentative smile. 

“Thank you for showing us Neria, your dragon is amazing work.” Loghain says and Neria leaves the tent headed back to find Alistair. 

Hearing the slightly raises voices of two men she waits for them to settle down. One is a mage and he is not happy about what the warrior is saying. Guessing the tall blonde warrior to be Alistair she takes the moment to really evaluate him. He carries a shield and sword but wears medium armor. When he turns to pace in front of the mage though her heart skips a beat. His shield holds the crest of a Templar. Why would a Templar join the Grey Wardens? She misses the rest of the conversation thinking this over when the mage nearly runs her over in his haste to get away.

"Don't you just love blight, it just brings people together." Alistair says looking the mage over. He can sense the magic in her and nearly whistles out loud at just how powerful she is. There is something else teasing at him but he can't place it. 

"It certainly brings out the best in people." Neria quips walking towards Alistair. 

"You wouldn't be another mage would you?"

"So the robes and the staff don't give me away?" Neria smiles at him. 

"You never know sometimes." 

"My name is Neria; I'm the new Warden Recruit. Brought you your helmet and a message from Duncan." Neria clears her throat and puffs up her chest a bit. "Please gather the rest of the recruits it's time to start the joining." Neria does a horrible impression of Duncan and looks sidelong at Alistair hoping to make him smile again. 

Alistair doesn't disappoint and takes the helmet from her. "Well then oh great and wonderful messenger, lead on." Neria falls into step with him and they walk over to the fire where Jory and Daverth already are. Duncan doesn't waste time on introductions knowing Neria has already met them. 

“To prepare for the joining we need some fresh dark-spawn blood. Alistair will be taking you three out into the Kocarii Wilds to get some. You will also need to get a chest from the ruins there." 

"Blood and loot got it." Neria says which earns her some smiles even from Duncan. 

"You can head out when you are ready." Duncan tells them and nodding they all heads to the Quartermaster for the rest of the group to stock up. Already having done that Neria wanders over to the Kennels.

"Hey, don't suppose I can get you to help me real quick?" Houndmaster says to Neria.

"Sure, what do you need?" Neria looks at the man and smiles warmly.

"I have a sick hound and I need to get some medicine in him. Problem is he doesn't really like me." 

"Let me see what I can do, I don't have much experience with animals and most are skittish around me due to my magic but I can try." Neria slips into the gate and looks at the hound. He is huge; his head is even with her shoulder. He turns his head first one way and then the other to look at her. 

"Easy there small fry, we need to get some medicine in you. I promise if you cooperate I'll give you a cookie."

"Don't be promising that hound something you don't have miss. That is a Mabari hound and he will remember it." 

"Actually I do have cookies with me so I can make good on it if he behaves." Neria slips one of the prizes out of her robes and smiles as the hound's ears perks up. Handing him the cookie   
Neria slips the muzzle on him in one go. "There we go." 

"Ah you are a life saver you are. Are you by chance headed out into the wilds?" 

"I am what do you need?" 

"There is a flower out there, white with a red center. It helps the hounds when they digest too much blood." 

"If I see it I will pick as many as I can."

"Thank You."

"Neria?" Alistair calls looking for her.

Exiting the pen she waves to catch Alistair's attention and is rewarded again with a smile. "You ready to go?" 

"Yes, let's get this group on the road." Following Alistair they approach the gate and are warned they needed to be back as soon as possible. Nodding in understanding they head out into the wilds. Alistair has assigned Daverth to stay close to Neria and the rouge unslings his bow and smiles brazenly at her. Jory's two-hander is impressive looking and as they cut through a group of wolves Neria is impressed with Alistair's ability to stay out of the range. When a group of dark-spawn attacks them though and Neria throws a fireball none of them are prepared. Jory and Alistair both have just reached the group when her spell goes off. It throws both of them up into the air instantly killing the dark-spawn Alistair is slapping flames out of his armor while Jory curses fluently. 

"What is that?" Alistair asks walking up to Neria and shaking her. 

"Alistair, I'm a primal mage. I know fireball, inferno, shock, arcane bolt, blizzard, cone of cold, and chain lightning. I can also heal a little." Neria displays her wrists at him as she says this.

Alistair curses again and lets go of Neria when flames starts dancing over her skin. "Turn it off." 

"Why? pisses you off you can't control me Templar? Afraid the little mage can set your ass on fire?" Neria answers the accusations knows Alistair is reaching for his cleanse.

"Not that my opinion counts but yes I am afraid the little mage can kick my ass or freeze it evidently." Daverth quips looting the dark-spawn 

"Neria turn it off or I will smite you." Alistair is trying to get control of her and she is not submitting. 

"Alistair, you can't smite me faster than I can freeze or toast your ass so back off." Neria has her hands at her sides looking every bit the pissed off mage she is.

"Umm, we have company." Jory says looking at a group of dark-spawn heading their way. Even as Neria glares at Alistair she freezes three dark-spawn in their tracks and sets the other three on fire. Truly showing off at this point she sends a lightning through all of them and they all fall over dead. Alistair watches her while she casts and his eyes have turned dark and his breathing shallow. It is a rush to be this close to a powerful mage. 

Neria's command over her magic is impressive and scary. As an afterthought she casts heal on Jory and Alistair as she walks forward to the dark-spawn Crouching down she fills the vials they has brought with the blood for the ritual. When she is done she stands and looks at Alistair. "I am sorry I tried to blow you up. I will try and be more careful with my spells." Nodding Alistair indicates them to keep moving, they head further into the wilds to see if they can find the ruins with the chest. As they travel they see the ruins and Neria starts beeline towards the tower. Daverth pulls her back from a boggy area. 

"Don't step there Neria. This entire place is boggy and you will get stuck." 

"I can ice it?" Neria asks reaching for magic. 

"No, just step where I do or hitch a ride on Jory or Alistair." Daverth says and Neria shakes her head at the ride part and falls into step behind Daverth. Her balance in her robes however is   
not doing her any favors and after she almost falls twice Alistair scoops her up and carries her. 

"Put me down this instant!" Neria is reaching for magic. 

"Hush up Neria, you weigh hardly anything and I want to get out of this area as soon as possible." Neria sulks as she hangs onto her staff and then tosses it to Jory when he asks for it. 

They are much quicker getting through the area without Neria's robes stopping them but then they ran into a group of dark-spawn archers. With the sky full of arrows Alistair is not sure what to do. "Put me down, get your shield up. Jory use that big blade of yours to cover Daverth. Dav, come to me and stand next to me. Do not freak out." Neria says as the hand she places on him catches on fire. Every arrow he shoots flames into their targets. For good measure Neria casts a lightning that zings between the dark-spawn 

“Neria, watch out!" Alistair's warning is almost too late as an arrow almost hit her but burst into flames instead. She does not see the second one in time though and that one hits her in the shoulder. 

"Ugh." Neria goes down as Daverth takes out the final two dark-spawn 

"Let's get out of this muck and we can deal with the injuries.” Alistair says swinging Neria back into his arms and making it out the mire. Placing her on the ground Alistair breaks the fletching out and pushes the arrow through. 

"Owe owe owe! Stop stop stop!" Neria's hands comes up flames springing forth. Alistair has taken off his gauntlets and holds onto Neria casting cleanse on her. 

"Settle down mage." Alistair growls, Daverth chuckles at the standoff until he finds himself smacking flames out on his armor. 

"Now that you have had your fun can I finish getting the arrow out so you can heal yourself?" Alistair says looking into Neria's eyes. 

"Fine but you two back up I can't guarantee how my magic is going to deal with this." Daverth and Jory move to the edge of the clearing as Alistair finishes pushing the arrow out and Neria's magic explodes around them in an interesting mix of fire, snow and lightning. Alistair smites her in surprise. 

“Dammit Neria! Neria?" 

"What the Maker is that?" Jory asks walking back over to the unconscious mage. 

"I don't know. I've never seen magic like hers." Alistair says shaking his head and waiting for Neria to wake up. 

Neria awakens laying on a bedroll with the sun glaring down on her. Casting heal to deal with the pain in her shoulder Neria sits up and looks around. Alistair, Daverth and Jory are all sitting together ignoring her for the moment. However as she casts heal she feels Alistair look at her. Noticing the various bandages and raggedness of the group she casts a group heal on the men and feel them all sigh in relief. "Feeling better?" Neria asks getting up and rolling the bedroll up. 

"Yes, are you?" Daverth asks looking her over. 

"Well enough let's get the loot and get out of here shall we?" Following the men they get to the ruins quickly but are met with another group of dark-spawn This group has one with full   
armor on and he is directing them.

"An Alpha, this should be fun." Alistair says his shield already on his arm. 

"Want me to blow him up?" Neria offers. 

“Can you?" Alistair and Daverth both ask. 

"Let's find out!" Neria answers throwing a flaming ball at the feet of the alpha. It blows up without affecting the creature much though. "hmm, this one seems to have a bit of fire resistance to him. I am healing this fight I think." Neria says casting heal on Alistair and staying close to Daverth. When one of the creatures makes it past Jory and Alistair Daverth puts a   
couple of arrows in it but that doesn't stop it. 

"Uh, we might want to step back a bit." Daverth says drawing his blades. 

"I'll get it one second just a bit closer thank you." Neria casts a cone of cold and freezes it solid with a charging Jory getting the tail end of it. 

"Ack!" 

"Jory, don't try and save me, you'll just get frostbite doing it." Neria says as Jory shatters the creature with his sword. 

"Sorry, habit of a Knight and all to save the lady in danger." Smiling at Jory they make their way to the ruins and approach the chest they are looking for. It is in pieces and Neria catches the movement of something out of the corner of her eye. Alistair does as well but does not stop Neria from stepping in front. 

"Now I wonder who this is looking at things long forgotten." She is dark haired and the leather that hugs her hips in a skirt is interesting. Neria smiles at all that lovely pale skin showing with the scantily clad top. 

"So which are you then? Thieves, intruders?" 

"Neither we are Grey Wardens this tower once belonged to us." Neria responds looking at Alistair for guidance. 

"Careful she looks Chastened." Alistair comments and Neria rolls her eyes at the comments of Daverth and Jory as well. 

"Tis a tower no longer and the papers that chest held are long gone now. I am Morrigan, who are you?" 

"You will return them immediately. I am Alistair, this is Neria, Daverth and Jory" Alistair answers. 

"I will not for it is not I who took them. It is my mother. You may come and speak with her if you like. She wants an audience with those who wish for the papers." Nodding in agreement they follow Morrigan to her home. 

If it hadn't been for Morrigan they would have been completely lost. "Mother, we have visitors." Morrigan calls out. The woman that greets them is powerful and Neria knows it. Morrigan is a middle talent but this woman in front of her demands respect and Neria gives it to her. 

“I am Neria; I am pleased to meet you." 

"Such manners, always in the last place you look. A bit like stockings. Now before you start barking here are your treaties. That spell wore off years ago and I took them to keep them safe." The woman says and hands them to Neria. 

"Thank you." Neria responds. 

"Now off you go, Morrigan show them back to the camp please." As the group walk back to the camp Morrigan points out some of the flowers Neria has been looking for and she picks them along with elf-root and mushrooms which can be uses for poultices and salves. 

Back at camp they drop the flowers off to the kennel master who is thankful and go to Duncan to drop off the blood and treaties. "Did you have any problems?" 

"A few but nothing we can't handle." Neria says cutting off Alistair's reply. 

"Good then let's get this done." Duncan says taking the vials and nodding at his charges. "Get something to eat and then bring them to the old tower Alistair." They all disperses to various   
parts of the camp to find food and for Neria to check in with the Quartermaster and sell the extra gear they have picked up as well as get more flasks. 

They gather at the old tower and Jory voices some concerns about the joining. "It will be all right Jory. You have come too far to back out now." Neria says smiling at the kind knight. Duncan is solemn and serious as he says the Grey Warden vow with Alistair. He is honest with his recruits they might not survive the joining and that sends Jory to true fear. Daverth steps forth first and takes the cup. Drinking he barely hands the cup back to Duncan before he starts spazing and gasping in death throes. That sends Jory over the edge. He draws his great sword and attacks Duncan. Duncan slides into the man's guard and kills him with a blade to the chest. Finally it is Neria's turn. With trembling fingers she puts the cup to her lips and drinks deeply. Images of lava and fire and a dragon fills her mind and then it is quiet and she is looking up at the night sky into Alistair and Duncan's faces. 

"Two more deaths, there were only one for mine. I am thankful one of you make it through." Alistair says quietly. 

"When you are recovered please join me at a meeting." Neria nods at Duncan's request and carefully sits up. 

"Are you okay?" Alistair asks helping her to her feet. 

"I think so; my magic is a bit overwhelmed I think. Or maybe I am." Neria twists the bracelet she wears and sighs as the cleanse washes over her in waves. 

"What is that?" Alistair indicates the bracelet. 

"It's a way to help me control my magic. Don't ever take it off of me." Neria answers. 

"What would happen if I did?" Alistair tilts his head in question. 

"Death, lots and lots of death." Duncan says quietly and Neria looks at him quietly. 

"Yes, Irving told me the rest of the story Neria." Duncan continues. 

“Yet you still accepted me as a recruit?" Neria is surprised. 

"Of course, your magic is powerful and will come in handy to fight the dark-spawn Besides being paired with Alistair should work." Duncan indicates the man in front of her and Neria sighs. 

"From your blank look I am guessing no one has told you very much about me?" Neria says looking at Alistair now. 

"No but I am sure there will be time later. Right now you and Duncan have a meeting." Nodding Neria joins Duncan to go to this meeting with the King and his advisers 

"Shall I bow again?" Neria asks Duncan as they walk. 

"No." Duncan smiles though slightly.

"I hear congrats are in order." Cailan says smiling at Neria. 

"Yes, thank you your majesty." Cailan then turns to his advisers who are trying to talk him out of being in the middle of the fight. Cailan would have none of it though and swears to fight with the Grey Wardens at his side. 

"There needs to be some men to light the beacon at the tower of Ishual to signal when you want my men to attack" Tyern Loghain says. 

"Then Alistair and Neria should do it." 

"If that is what you want." Duncan says. Once it is all decided Neria follows Duncan back to the fire to let Alistair know they are not going to be in the next battle. 

"Fine but if the king wants me to dance the remigold down the line of dark-spawn I draw the line." 

"I don't know that might be worth watching." Neria says. 

"It has to be a pretty dress and only for you." Alistair says as Duncan groans at the joke. 

"Cross the bridge, light the signal When asked. Got it." Neria says as she and Alistair leave to get some sleep. 

"Only a couple of hours before the battle get some rest."Alistair says and Neria rolls out her bedroll and lays down falling asleep quickly. Soon it is time to get ready for battle though and   
Neria quickly grabs her gear. Sounds of battle preparations are everywhere and Neria and Alistair head to the bridge as the battle starts. As they cross the bridge a huge stone hits one of the towers in the distance. Casting flame on the catapults as they pass Neria steps to the edge and sees scores of dark-spawn "We need to go." Alistair says moving closer to her. 

"I know but I can help here, one moment please." Throwing a fireball over the field and then casting a blizzard over an ogre Neria smiles at the cheers on the bridge.   
Alistair pushes her forward across the bridge though and as they make it they see guards heading out of the tower of Ishual. "Interesting." Neria says as they get closer. 

"Wardens! Dark-spawn have taken the tower." Alistair asks two of the guards to come with them. One of the men is decent with a crossbow while the other one wields a shield and sword. 

"Okay, Neria I need you to heal and give warning if you are going to throw something big." Alistair says taking charge of the group. Neria nods in agreement as they head up the hill and   
sees dark-spawn everywhere. Casting heals where she can and freezing and shocking where she can Neria keeps a tight rein on her magic and it costs her. Most of her magic has a field day with the emissary on the first floor of the tower though. 

"Stay put gentlemen. That dark-spawn and I are going to have a magical show down." Neria smiles as she says this. 

"Don't bring the tower down on us and let me know if you need help." Alistair says staying out of range of the mage.

Neria casts a fireball and follows it up with a winter's grasp that makes the emissary fly and hit the wall. Smiling as she gets closer she doesn't see the line of archers until it is almost too late. "Stop!" Garret yells as he reloads his crossbow to take out another of the archers. Alistair and the other guard come charging in to help Neria as she focuses completely on the mage. Casting a chain lightning to zing through the archers she smiles as Alistair catches an arrow meant for her on his shield and continues to own the mage. Casting a flame ember on the mage she smiles as it explodes making the mage and a few of the archers body parts raining down. "She is impressive." Garret says as Neria casts heal on him with a flick of her hand. 

"Yes, Neria take a break. We mere mortal men don’t have magic to sustain us." Neria stops and looks back as she climbs the stairs. Her strange eyes snaps at Alistair as he approaches her. 

"What are you doing?" 

"Are you in control?" Alistair asks and then smiles as he sees the bracelet faintly glowing. 

As they climb the tower they all wonder how the dark-spawn can have taken the tower before the battle. "We've surely missed the signal; we need to get the signal lite." Nodding Neria sets to with magic on the dark-spawn as they flood out of rooms and doors to attack the small group. As they get to the last floor before the top the party looks up as the floor shook above them in what seems like steps. 

"Can't wait to meet whatever that is." Neria says freezing a glen-lock as it comes at her. Nathan is the other guard and he bashes her iced glen-lock to make it explode. Freeing the dogs on the level to deal with a smaller alpha Alistair points out the difference in the dark-spawn as they fight. 

"Glen-locks are short and stocky; they are also the most numerous. Hurlocks are taller and a bit harder to kill. They love two handed weapons. Emissaries cast all sorts of spells and then there are the alphas. Alphas come in all shapes and sizes and are smarter than their companions. Usually they are the generals of the battles." 

"Good to know." Neria says as they enter the top floor. 

None of them are ready for the Ogre that takes up most of the room and munching on a guard. "Right um Neria can you blow it up?" 

"Sure if you've learned how to fly." She answers Alistair as the Ogre roars at them. This Ogre moves very fast too as it grabs Garret and chunks him out of the window. 

"Right." Neria freezes the Ogre and Nathan and Alistair both started smashing it with blades and shields. 

"Careful that is not going to hold it for long." Neria warns and readies a cone of cold for it. 

"I can keep it frozen maybe. I can't risk any fireballs in here or lightning." Neria says casting rejuvenate on Alistair to give the Templar a fresh batch of energy. He smiles at her and is   
snatched by the Ogre. "NO!" Neria yells as the cone of cold freezes the Ogre's legs. Alistair is held tight and Neria asks for forgiveness as she casts shock on the Ogre to get him to let go of Alistair. Alistair grits his teeth as the Ogre's hand spasms and then he is released as it falls over dead. 

Neria casts a flame on the beacon as she hurries to make sure Alistair is okay. "Oh ouch I think he cracked some ribs." Alistair says limping over to Neria. She casts heal as she looks out the window to Tyern Loghain’s men and if they would see the signal. When Loghain's men go the other way though Neria is shouting at them. 

"No! Why! Why would he leave them?" Alistair yells turning to Neria as he also hears dark-spawn coming up the stairs. "It's been a pleasure knowing you Neria. You have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen." Alistair says as the dark-spawn flooded through the door. Arrows find their mark in Neria as Alistair takes a blade to the gut.


	10. Get Right Back Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It is often when we stand to lose the most that we clutch at things better lost."-Leliana

Waking Neria glances at her surroundings and sees Morrigan standing nearby. "Ah good you have awoken. Mother will be pleased." 

"Morrigan? How did we get here?" 

"Mother turned into a giant bird and plucked you and your fellow warden from the tower." Morrigan does not flap her arms for emphasis the line delivered in the same sarcastic manner   
Neria remembers from their first meeting. 

"What happened to the king and the army?" Neria is curious now if maybe there were a flock of birds rescuing people.

"Killed when the man who was supposed to come quit the field." Morrigan shrugs when Neria does the go on motion with her hand.

"Fellow Warden? Alistair?" Neria tilts her head at this information. 

"Yes the blonde dim-witted one. He is not taking it well." Morrigan indicates the door and probably the Warden beyond. 

"Ah well I think I can get up, do you have something for me to wear?" Neria needs to try her legs.

"I do. Your robes are beyond repair but I did what I can. It's a bit shorter this time." Putting on the robes offered Neria smiles at the exaggeration of exactly how short the robe is. They hit   
her mid-thigh though Morrigan offers leggings to go under it that fit seamlessly with the boots. 

"Thank you Morrigan, I owe you." 

"Tis my mother you owe, I am not healer." 

Walking out of the hut Neria leans on her staff a bit and is pleased to see Alistair up and walking around. "You, you're alive." 

"See here is your fellow warden. Calm yourself Alistair." Alistair has already wrapped Neria up in a hug and is whispering over and over your alive. 

"Yes, thanks to Morrigan's mother. You didn't tell us your name last time." Neria says turning to the woman as Alistair keeps a circle on her wrist with his hand. 

"Names are pretty things but the Chastened mostly call me Flemeth." 

"The Flemeth? From legends?" Alistair is wary now. 

"Oh Morrigan must have told you those oh how she dances under the moon. No matter though what I want to know is what you intend to do?" 

"Firstly thank you Flemeth for your help. Secondly I have no idea; if the battle went as badly as that we are the only two Wardens in Ferelden right now." Neria says thinking quickly.

"Loghain must pay for this treachery. Arl Eamon can help us." Alistair says letting go of Neria to pace.

"Earl of Redcliffe? How would he help us?" Neria is vaguely familiar with the nobility of the land. 

"He still has all of his men, there must be others." 

"Alistair, we need to fight the dark-spawn first." Neria is pacing as well albeit slower since she uses her staff to lean on. 

"How though we don't have an army." 

"Treaties, Alistair you still have them. They should call for the armies of the different nation’s right?"

"Yes. Can we do this?" Alistair stops to look at Neria. 

"Isn't this what Grey Wardens do? We gather armies and fight dark-spawn right?" Neria says smiling. 

"Well since you have a plan I think you can get that plan going right?" Flemeth says. Neria smiles at the old woman knowing there is more to her than she is showing. "I do have a favor to   
ask though. I want Morrigan to join you." 

"I'm sorry what?" Morrigan says looking at her mother. 

"I trust to you that which I most value." Flemeth forges ahead. 

"She will not come to danger with us Flemeth and I thank you." Neria says looking at Alistair as he wants to say something to stop this. He does not trust Morrigan and she knows working   
with two mages will be difficult for him. 

Morrigan warms to Neria but her and Alistair not only take regular pop shots at each other but are downright mean. Neria ignores it for the most part and tends to not side with either. One night after they are done setting up camp Morrigan has gone to her camp and Alistair and Neria have set up their tents close to each other. Alistair volunteers for the first watch which allows Neria to sleep. Her dreams are horrible though. She wakes screaming and Alistair is there rocking her and whispering it is okay over and over. As she looks up at Alistair she strokes his face. Without really thinking about it Alistair is kissing her and Neria is overwhelmed. Completely lost in the act of kissing Neria is melting and melding to Alistair, her arms wrapped around him moaning low in her throat.

"Hey you two!" Morrigan smacks Alistair with her staff. 

"Care to help out here? Neria set the camp on fire, literally." Alistair is up and so is Neria and looking around in confusion. 

"How did I do this?" Neria exclaims casting blizzard and routing some water from the nearby stream to the fire. 

"Your nightmares started it actually. Only mage I have ever met that can set fire to her surroundings unconsciously." Morrigan grumps finishing off the small fire licking closer to her tent. 

"Also that kissing just makes it worse so please think about controlling your magic." 

Alistair doesn't say a word to Neria after that. As they get closer to Lothering Neria's dreams get worse and her magic does as well. Morrigan teaches her a self-containment spell that seems to work. Problem is it only works for a few minutes at a time. Plus Neria needs to be awake to do it. Then Neria starts sleeping with her bracelet turned on. This allows everyone a bit of freedom as they arrived in Lothering. 

As they approach they are accosted by a group of bandits. "Ah looky here boys, ladies time to pay the toll. We take coin or I am sure we can work out something else." Their leader says. 

"You should really get out of our way." Morrigan says her eyes flashing as she gets ready to cast. 

"No, everyone has to pay the toll." One of the other bandits says. 

"Yeah, not going to happen, remember you were warned." Neria says as she sends a bolt of lightning zinging through them all. Alistair smacks the leader with his shield and knocks him   
out. Neria is trying to not kill these men even as Morrigan has no problem with it. 

"Stop! We will leave, we are sorry." 

"Sorry is not good enough!" Morrigan answers the leader as all of the life forces of the men flood towards her. Alistair smites her but it is far too late, bodies litter the road and while   
Neria is surprised she is not sorry for their deaths. 

"Alistair, they would have raped and killed us. They would have killed you. Next person that comes they would have done the same, they chose this life." Neria states as she walks through   
the bodies looting.

"What are your plans once we get through with Lothering? Have you looked at the treaties?" Alistair asks. 

"Oh decided to join us again and stop sulking." Morrigan quips and Neria wants to smack her. Alistair has been quiet after he smited Morrigan and Neria knows it is because he can't   
figure out how to deal with two mages, two very powerful mages. It is usually two Templars per mage and even then normal Templars have years more training and more techniques than Alistair to deal with them. Alistair hasn’t taken his vows, is not nearly strong enough to deal with either Morrigan or Neria and Neria's constant leak of magic is like trying to bandage a constantly bleeding wound. You can slow it down but not stop it and it grates on him. 

"why are you asking me?" 

"Because it is obvious you are in charge here Neria. I can only follow you, you have no problem doing whatever you want no matter who you hurt or who asks you to stop. I am not arguing about this." Alistair paces away from Neria and she knows this is her fault. She turns her bracelet on and feels Alistair take a deep breath even if he doesn't relax. "Redcliffe, you say you know the Arl we will go there and see if we can get some help." Neria says. Alistair and Morrigan nod and they enter Lothering. 

Lothering is tiny and dingy. Most of the humans are hostile towards mages and Neria's ears don't make her better, when they do look at her they sneer. She does manage to help a family get their possessions back when she tells them the bandits are dead. Also passing some of the poultices off to the local healer gets them some coin. Here is where most of the survivors of Ostregar have gone and they are trying to get the local population to leave, they know the Dark-spawn are on their way. They head towards the tavern hoping to get a drink. Alistair hold the door for the ladies but hearing who is inside he tries to block Neria from entering after Morrigan even as someone grabs Morrigan and pulls her in. "Take your hands off of me!" Morrigan's voice snaps out as she hits the man with her staff. Alistair has cast cleanse to prevent the mages from casting any spells for the moment. Neria turns her bracelet off and glares at Alistair knowing he can't block her for long. 

"Look what we have here gents aren't we looking for a Grey Warden matching this elf's description and of course the blonde one. Loghain is paying a pretty penny for your head Wardens." 

"Loghain is the one who quit the field; he is the one that killed the king." Neria tries to reason with the men, her magic is sluggish to respond to her right now. 

"Now there is no reason to attack them sir, they may not even be the Wardens you are looking for." A Chantry sister says trying to get between Neria and the men. 

"No enough of this they will pay." The man says and attacks them. Neria's magic has decided to trickle back but not much. Alistair slams his shield into two people as the Chantry sister knocks another one down. Neria wraps her hand around the leader and freezes him solid. 

"You should have listened to us." She says and moves onto the next man. Morrigan has one man cowering before her as her horror spell works on him and another one is frozen as well. 

"Do not kill them." Neria says as she freezes another pair and starts to melt the leader. As he comes unfrozen he tries to get his men to stop. 

"All right you win." 

"I told you we would. Run little man, run and tell Loghain we know the truth and the Wardens will come for him." Neria says touching the leader one more time and burning a mark into his arm. It is the Warden symbol and the man looks at it in horror. Duncan had given Neria the coin when she survived and now she uses it as a brand. 

"Well they learned their lesson. My name is Leliana, I want to join you." Neria blinks at the woman, she has held her own in the fight true but something is off. 

"Why." Neria asks looking her over.

"I can help you and the Maker told me to." Neria looks at Leliana again. 

"Sure, why not." Neria says and Morrigan mumbles about maybe she has gotten hit on the head harder than she though while Alistair wonders if they are full of crazy yet. Neria has a feeling about the woman though and she won't ignore the offered help. After convincing the bartender they are not going to tear up the bar anymore they go their drinks. He gives them willingly and even manages to produce some questionable stew. 

Finished Neria finds a young boy looking for his mother. She wants to take the boy to the Chantry and Alistair asks to go inside. Morrigan waves off going into the Chantry and they enter to sounds of the chant. Leliana and Alistair both seem to take a deep breath and be comforted by the chant while Neria rolls her eyes at it. Handing the child off to one of the women Neria walks over to the Templar that seems to be in charge. "We need to take care of those bandits." Neria hears him say and clears her throat. 

"Yes my lady can I help you? I am Ser Bryce and am in charge of this town." 

"Those bandits, we took care of them." Neria says smiling. 

"It's true,” Ser one of the Templars says.

"Well then thank you, please take this bounty." Neria is surprised at the weight of the pouch the Templar puts in her hand. Alistair has been side tracked by Ser Donnell. Ser Donnell has been riding out to find the urn of sacred ashes. Arl Eamon is sick. Alistair is most distressed by this and Ser Donnell tells him he should ride there post haste anyways to see if there is anything he can do. 

"We are going there anyways." Alistair argues that night as Neria weighs the options of helping the Arl versus going after a different treaty. 

"Fine, let’s see what we can do." Neria says sitting at the fire. 

"Before we leave in the morning I want to see if there is anything we can do for Sten." Morrigan says. 

"Sten?" Alistair asks. 

"Yes the caged Qunari." 

"It's said he killed an entire family and locked himself in that cage. Reverend Mother might let him out if you plead your case." Leliana says.

"You are going to plead our case lovely bard." Neria smiles at Leliana. Next morning Morrigan leads the party to the cage. 

"This man does not deserve the fate of starving to death or being eaten by the dark-spawn Not when he can be useful." Morrigan says. 

"I am Neria, what would you say if I told you I am looking for skilled help?" 

"I would ask what your task is." 

"I am sworn to end the blight." 

"Are you a Grey Warden then?" 

"Yes, actually I am." 

"Then I will pledge myself to you if Reverend Mother will let me out of here." Sten says looking through the bars at Neria. Neria nods and follows Leliana with Alistair to get the Qunari out. 

"You would take him with you? He would never come back here again?" Reverend Mother asks for the third time. 

"Yes, I will take him with me." 

"How do you feel about this sister Leliana?" 

"I think this is a better solution than letting him starve or for the Dark-spawn to get him." 

"Then here are the keys may he never come back." Once Sten is free they head out of town. Meeting up with a pair of dwarves being besieged by dark-spawn the group defeats them and the dwarves are nice enough to sell the group a sword and some armor that will fit both Leliana and Sten. After getting the party outfitted the dwarves introduced themselves as Bodhan and Sandal and are traders. Neria is happy to have them along. Properly outfitted the group heads towards Redcliffe.


	11. Zevran

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SMUT alert- NSFW Just FYI
> 
> "Just because I am going to kill you doesn't mean we can't discuss it first, now what are your thoughts on poison?"- Zevran

Zevran makes sure the party is ready for the Wardens. He hopes one of them will score a fatal blow on him. He has taken this mission as repentance and true repentance earns you death. He doesn't have long to wait, though he had no idea there would be others with them. Loghain has said to kill the wardens, a female elven mage and a blond Templar. Zevran bowed and swore the job would be done. As his mage lures them into the trap he smiles as he sees the little bard go down first. The huge man with the great sword is proving to be a bit more difficult. He sees the chance to get into the elf's guard and takes it. His blades have deadly poison on them and he uses them to get close to the elf. Templar is sporting several arrows and he is quickly losing blood and therefore life. Elven lass though is sending spells everywhere but her back is completely unprotected and he dives at it. 

Neria is tired; this battle is wearing on her. Knowing she is going to need the extra mana she turns the bracelet off and smiles as a fresh flash of mana floods her. Flames started licking all over her skin and her smile becomes feral as she casts a fresh shock at the archers on the ledge above her. As she looks to see how Morrigan is doing she feels the graze of a blade and her robe parting. Wheeling she smacks the blade away with her staff just as Sten sends the assassin sprawling with a wicked cut on his side that is followed up to a pommel to the face that knocks the man out. Neria casts a final fireball that takes out the rest of the attackers and collapses hearing Morrigan and Alistair curse as they rush to her.   
Zevran wakes up gradually and wonders if he is truly waking up at all. Long legs covered in tall boots and robes that hit just past mid-thigh. Hair a lighter shade of blonde than his is mastered into a braid that falls over her shoulder while wisps of curls form a halo around her head. It's her eyes as she leans over him that set his heart skipping. Violet eyes with a ring of gray framed by long eyelashes in a nearly perfect oval face. When she turns her head he realizes she is an elf. Templar next to her dwarfs her in mass though she does come up to his shoulder. Strong jaws tightly clenched right now and his eyes are dark. Then there is the red head, long lean and graceful as a cat the bow on her back and the daggers on her belt mark her rouge. Her hair is short and braided in some places but Zevran senses it's a ruse, this is one to watch. Finally the dark haired witch is quiet fetching in the scanty top and leather hugging her legs. "Ugh, now who is this vision of grace and beauty before me?" 

Neria rolls her eyes. "Let's get this done; now that you are awake I need you to answer some questions." 

"Let me save you some trouble. My name is Zevran, Zev to my friends. I am an Antivan Crow paid by some sour man in the capital to kill the Wardens." 

"What is a crow and is the man named Loghain? Are you going to meet him after this and are you loyal to him?" Neria asks looking at him confused. 

"I can answer the crow question Neria; they are a group of very expensive assassins out of Antiva.” Leliana offers. 

"Yes Loghain is his name; no I was not going to meet him. When my job is complete I will go back home and payment would be arranged after that. As for loyalty I am loyal only until someone wants me to die for them. I have a proposition to put to you if you are done with questions?" Neria nods and Zevran continues. "I will pledge my loyalty to you if you will have me. I am decent with lock picks and blades. Poisons are always fun and I am fantastic at warming beds." This last is said with a leer at Neria who blushes. 

"Fine you may join us." Neria nods as she says this. 

"Wait are you serious?" Alistair states in surprise. 

"Yes, we need all the help we can get and he does have useful skills." Neria says and Alistair concedes the point. Leliana is happy to have the rouge along and helps him to his feet. 

"Next time assassin, don't carry the antidote to your poison on your belt." Morrigan says explaining the unanswered question of why Neria is up and perfectly fine. 

As dinner is done the rest of the team goes off to bed until it is Zevran and Neria are still awake to take first watch. As Alistair finally closes his tent Zevran reaches over and pulls Neria into his lap. Running a hand over her breast and catching her protest in his mouth he kisses her soundly. Neria is shocked by the contact but quickly hits her bracelet before her magic reacts to Zevran's advances. "What are you doing?" Neria asks as Zevran continues to peruse her body with his hands. 

"Getting to know you better Warden, unless you object?" As he asks he is stroking a finger on the inside of her thigh where her boots stop. Neria moans as he continues to run his hands up and down from thigh to boots. 

"I have been misused before, be warned I can and will kill you if you try to hurt me." It is a brave face Neria puts on but Zevran knows it's fear. 

"We can and will stop at any time you like. Let me give you pleasure little mage." Neria nods relaxing a little. Finally letting the boots come off Zevran licks the inside of her ankle and then proceeds to kiss his way up. Finally he gets to her small clothes and smiles at how wet she already is. 

"You hide from them, you put on the good little mask for them but you are afraid." Neria moans and wonders exactly how much he knows. "Warden, you need this and we both know it." 

"My tent," 

"Would you leave the camp unguarded?" Zevran asks as he reaches under her robes and slides the small clothes down. Running his hands up under her robes he teases her breasts into frenzy and then lowers his head and licks. Neria comes undone bucking her hips at him. Another lick and soon tongue and fingers are making her moan and beg. He chuckles again as she pushes herself against his hand, closing her eyes. "See? This is what you need, and I am best suited to give it to you." Smiling he opens her robe to spill Neria's breasts into his hands. 

"Ah such a bounty, I am very lucky." He continues to thrust fingers in as he suckles and fondles her breasts making her orgasm again. 

"Please, stop," she whines. "Someone can come… We should… Ahh… guard the camp…" He ignores her half-heart protests in favor of undoing the laces of his own breeches, pushes both his knees between hers and presses his hardness against her folds, lengthwise. 

"We are guarding the camp, are we not? If we went to your tent, or mine for that matter, wouldn't we put the rest of the group in danger? We are only being responsible by staying here, I   
tell you." He slowly slides his erection back and forth along her slit, teasing her into frustrated moans. "Besides, you are absolutely drenched, my dear Warden. Are you sure you want me to stop right now?" When she doesn't answer his question, too caught in his motions to focus, he stops altogether and leans down. "Maybe I should rephrase that," he purrs in her ear. "Do you want me to stop, or do you want me to fuck you?"

Her hips twitches, and when her moaning alone doesn't seem enough to lure him back into motion, she growls and pushes him back. With unexpected force, she jumps on him, pushing him down on the grass and straddling his waist, their positions now reversed. He gives a startled laugh and caresses her thighs. “What makes you think I can't take what I want?" she growls, her voice laced with command as well as lust. "What makes you think I won't use you" she whispers, slowly lowering herself onto him, "and then discard you, as the toy that you are?” He laughs at her, grabbing her hips and thrusting upwards, hard. She feels a twinge of pain and bares her teeth at him, hissing like a cat.

"I know who you really are and what you're doing," he whispers, darkly, "and two can play this game."

"Really?" she asks, breathless. "You think you know me, hah!" she whispers, pushing back against his hips, riding him, challenging him. "You don't know me at all." 

"What I know, my Warden is that you are quite the actress. You have fooled all of them, yes? The innocent Templar as well as the bard, up to the suspicious witch. They all believe you an innocent, a victim of events much larger than you. I do not think so." The way her motions change give her away, her hips coming to a stop against his. He presses on, picking up the tempo she has lost. "You suffered very much, that part is true, but the rest is a facade. You hide yourself from them. You wear the mask of a hero, and you say and do things so that they will believe in you and follow your lead."

He sits up then, pulling her legs around his waist and licking her neck, lowering his voice to a murmur by her ear. "You really want to fight this Blight, but you do not believe they will accept you, and follow you, if they know what you really are." His motions are now gentler, one hand on the back of her neck, keeping her against his chest, and one on her hip, controlling their joining. She doesn't speak. How can he have read her so easily, in so short a time span? If this is any indication of his skills as an assassin, he will certainly prove himself useful in the future. That is, if she can keep him quiet about her little secret. 

"What do you want from me?" she pants, eventually, circling her arms around his shoulders.

He looks at her, raising a brow, laying her slowly on the ground and beneath him again. "Isn't it obvious?" he purrs, emphasizing the unspoken answer with a single, hard thrust. She gasps, as the change in angle gets him deeper inside of her. 

"Apart from sex," she manages to say. 

"Sex is what you need," he laughs darkly. "Not that I mind one little bit, by the way. It is a very good incentive, at the very least. No, what I want is a purpose, and I happen to think that by sticking with you I will find a challenging one." His movement increase in speed and strength, and she moans as his mouth descends on her breast, licking and suckling at a nipple.

"My purpose is to end this Maker-forsaken Blight," she growls, threading a hand in his soft hair and pulling him up, reaching for his pointed ear with her mouth. "Then I will kill Loghain and free the mages." she concludes, biting the sensitive point of his ear, making him moan loudly and thrust harder inside of her. "So, how does my revenge give you a purpose, pretty assassin?"

Zevran laughs breathlessly in her ear. "I do not know yet, Grey Warden. For the moment, I am simply content with having my way with you right in the middle of camp, where all the others can see us," he adds, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "I will keep your little secret, yes? In exchange, I will have free access to your tent." She is definitely amused at his proposal. He may be an interesting partner, after all. 

"Meaning that you'd get to fuck me, as you so eloquently put it, whenever you want?" 

"Essentially, yes, though I would add 'in any way I choose' to the terms of our agreement," he grins, moving a hand to her knee and pushing it up and towards her chest.

They both groan at the sensation, and she laughs in between gasps. "Done. You know, you're quite a fool, for one so smart. Your oath to me already requires you to 'warm my bed'. You don't gain anything you didn't have before, with this bargain." 

"I don't think so, Warden," he says, his grinning face only a few inches above hers. "Tomorrow morning you may think differently, too." He pulls out of her, laughing at her mew of protest, then flips her over, arranging her so she is lying on her stomach with her hips up. "Now we play a little, yes?" Their groaning and moaning is becoming louder by the moment, and Neria starts to wonder if her companions will wake up from the increasing noise.

"They'll hear us, you know? What of our… agreement if they hear us… me?" 

"Warden," he growls, marking his words with hard, slow thrusts, "I want. Them. To." She bites the inside of her cheek to contain the scream that threatens to escape from her throat. 

"W-why?" she manages to ask, in a strangled voice. 

"Because," he whispers, retreating from her and leaving her suddenly empty and cold, "they need to know. They need a reason for me to be by your side, yes? You have to scream in passion, for me." Her eyes open in confusion as he pushes her on her back, entering her again. He smirks at her as she mewls in pleasure. "It will be easier for them to accept my presence if they hear how good I make you feel, how you sing for me in bliss. We are so different in their eyes… If anything, this will help maintain your facade. Tell me, Warden," he asks in a soft voice, pushing deliberately against her nub with every thrust, "if I fuck you all through the rest of our shift, will you blush tomorrow, when you meet the others' looks?" She groans, louder this time, somehow following his reasoning even through the hazy mist of sensation she is currently lost in. What would the others think? She feels herself blushing immediately.

"Ah, yes!" he says, triumphantly. "This is it. So strong and resourceful… and yet you blush so prettily!" 

She laughs under her breath, trying to speak. "And you… Do you always… ahh… talk so much?"

He grins and leans down to kiss her briefly. "Only when I want to hold back for the sake of my partner." He kisses her again, and then moves with deliberate slowness to her neck, biting and licking the soft skin there. His right hand slides to her breast, kneading and pinching with exactly the right amount of strength she desires, and she starts to feel the pressure build steadily inside her center. She writhes, letting go of her restraint, her control… Not completely trusting him, of course, but allowing him to bring her over, to pull her to the release she needed so much… "Zevran!" She comes hard, screaming his name, contracting around him and losing control of her body. A few moments later he empties himself inside of her, shouting a word she doesn't recognize.

He kisses her again then, slowly and tenderly, and even in her state of post-coital bliss, a corner of her mind registers that. She threads a hand through his now disheveled hair. "We are so loud, we may have attracted the Arch demon’s attention," she murmurs, amused. He chuckles, a little breathless. 

"Ah, what can I say? I am a dedicated man." He pulls her up and raps on the tents of Morrigan and Sten who are the next shift. Zevran follows Neria to her tent and strips as well, pulling her close again.

Next morning Neria exits her tent and takes her laundry to the lake. Zevran strides out to the fire and sits down eating the bowl of porridge Morrigan hands him. None of the other companions say a word though Leliana does cast glances at Zevran as she eats. Grabbing her clothes she heads down to the lake as well. "Did you have fun last night?" Leliana asks Neria and smiles as the mage blushes. 

"I did actually, and I don't regret it." 

"Can we expect a repeat performance tonight?" Leliana asks truly enjoying the blush and gasp Neria gives. 

"I will give you one now if you like pretty bird." Zevran says strolling out of the woods to sit on a log near Neria. It is the sound of his voice, the way he purrs out the statement. Neria glances behind her at Zevran and blushes again. "Ack, okay fire?" Zevran jumps away from where he is sitting to try and put out the flames that have started next to him.

"Dammit!" Neria says as she casts a cone of cold to put the flames out. "Neria!" Alistair says coming through the woods and reaching out to her.   
It is the tone of his voice, the way he comes at her and all Neria can think about are the Templars. Especially when he starts to cast cleanse. "NO!" Neria stands and backs away from Alistair already calling up her magic to help her. 

"Neria, stop! Control your magic." Alistair keeps coming at her and Neria keeps pulling magic. Flames have sprouted all over her and lick around her in a circle and towards Alistair. 

"Alistair, take another step and I will kill you." Zevran says his throwing daggers in his hands ready to be released. 

"She needs to control her magic; she's already set the damn camp on fire once." Alistair says drawing his sword and shield. 

"Alistair, you are the one setting her off. Stop." Leliana cries out not sure to step in or stay out of the way. 

"You will not touch me Templar." Neria says and cast a fireball at Alistair. He ducks behind his shield even as Zevran ducks and rolls away. 

"What did they do to you?" Leliana asks when the fireball has dissipated and Alistair has stopped advancing. Zevran is still under cover sure Neria can take care of herself. 

"Let me help you Neria, it's Alistair. Let the flames go." Neria looks at Alistair and the flames that still lick at her and him. 

"Alistair? Not Templar." 

"Correct, I failed but I can still help you if you will let me. Let the magic go." 

"Oh, Oh Alistair help." 

"Duck you two!" Alistair yells throwing himself at Neria and casting cleanse at the same time. He also hits her bracelet and grimaces in pain as Neria's magic explodes around them including a wicked bolt of lightning that zings through her and him. 

"Wow, are you two okay?" Morrigan asks arriving as the flames dissipate around Neria and Alistair. 

"I think so." Zevran helps Leliana to her feet and looks around at the blackened ground. Morrigan casts heal on Alistair as the Templar is literally smoking in his armor. Neria is huddled in Alistair's lap crying like her heart is breaking.

"Go all of you." Alistair says as he murmurs to Neria it is okay. Zevran doesn't leave, merely melts into the shadows. This is information he needs. "Talk to me Neria. What happened?" Alistair asks as Neria stops crying long enough to look up at him. 

"Bodies, lots of bodies. Magic explodes and I stand in bodies." 

"I get that but why are you afraid of me? Why didn't you want the Templars to touch you?" Neria's eyes clear and she stands up and steps away from Alistair. 

"That you don't need to know Alistair. I'm sorry I tried to blow you up." 

"What are you so afraid of? I am not going to tell anyone what you tell me Neria." Alistair asks reaching for her and then dropping his hand when he knows she won't touch him. 

"I don’t need your pity Templar not now, not ever." 

"Neria, I can't help you if you don't tell me what is going on." Alistair is confused and angry. 

"I lost control of my magic you cleansed me rather than smite me I'm in control now let's move on." As she says this Neria works on cleaning the rest of her laundry. Alistair tries to walk towards her and Neria lets her flames loose again. "Don't even think about it Alistair. This conversation is done." 

Zevran waits until it is clear before he moves towards the log again and sits down. Neria knows he is there but says nothing. Pulling the robes she is wearing over her head she washes and lays the clothes out to dry. Walking farther into the water Zevran is entranced as she plays in the water like a seal. "How are you not freezing?" Zevran asks from his perch truly enjoying the show. 

"I heat the water around me so I can't feel it." Neria says smiling. 

"Nifty trick." 

"I know a lot of them as a mage. You aren't asking the questions you want answers to." Neria turns away from Zevran as she says this showing off her tattoo. 

"I am thinking you will tell them to me eventually." Zevran says still enjoying the show. 

"Maybe."


	12. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in a row with smut- I am a dedicated woman-
> 
> "Wooing a woman that can light you on fire is a challenge I enjoy every day. Sometimes I get burned but sometimes we scorch the sheets together."-Zevran

They arrive on the outskirts of Redcliffe and Alistair pulls Neria away from the others. "I need to talk to you." 

"I am not talking to you about me." Neria yanks out of his hands gritting her teeth as his cleanse rolls over her. 

"I figured that out thanks, I am actually going to talk about myself though. I'm a bastard. I was raised by Arl Eamon because King Marric is my father. Cailan was my brother." Alistair finishes in a rush and looks at Neria expectantly. 

"So I am traipsing around the country with the heir to the throne. Oh how fun." Neria rolls her eyes. 

"I'm not the heir, if anyone is Eamon is. I don't want to be king." Alistair bites back at her. 

"You might not get that choice Alistair. Why did you hide this information though?" Neria is curious. 

"People treat me differently when they find out. I should have told you though." Alistair admits watching Neria's face. 

"We all have our secrets Alistair. It's not a big deal, we might be able to use it to our advantage later but for now it's nothing. If the time comes I will support whatever decision you want to make about the throne." Neria says finally looking him in the eyes. 

"Thank You." 

"Anything my prince." Alistair groans as they walked towards the bridge. 

As they get there it is to see a man standing on the bridge waving them over. "Oh thank the Maker, are you here to help us?" Thomas says looking at all of them. 

"What are you talking about? We know the Arl is sick, beyond that I wouldn't know what is going on." Neria says glancing at Alistair. 

"Will you come with me to speak to Bann Teegan?" Thomas asks. 

"Bann Teegan, Arl Eamon's brother, he's here?" Alistair asks and when Thomas nods. "Take us to him." 

"Thomas right? Now who are these folks?" Bann Teegan asks. 

"Grey Wardens, the last time you saw me though I was 11 and covered in dirt." 

"Dirt? Alistair!" Teegan smiles at Alistair. "I am glad you are here, there have been attacks coming from the castle. We aren't even sure anyone is alive up there." 

"What kind of attacks?" Neria asks already not liking any of this. 

"Undead. Every night they come though they will come during the day if we try to leave the town." Teegan says. 

"Okay, who is in charge of the town defenses?" Neria notices Morrigan crossing her arms and sharing a look with Sten. 

"Murdock. So you will help us?" 

"Let me talk to Murdock and see what we can do. I am not making any promises." Neria says and turns to walk away. She holds up her hand to stop the protests of Morrigan and Sten for   
the moment. 

Finally outside both Morrigan and Sten are against helping these people. "We need an army; we need the Arl's men. If the Arl is still alive in the castle we can get to him and free him. So we can either save the village and have the Arl in debt to us or leave them and try and take the castle later hoping the Arl is still alive." Neria says looking at the two who opposed the plan. Leliana is quiet, she and Alistair both want to help the people. 

"Fine, but I still think this is not only not our fight but that it is foolish for us to involve ourselves with this." Morrigan says eyes flashing. 

Alistair rolls his eyes but quickly hides it as Morrigan glares at him. "Right, let's talk to Murdock and see what he needs." Neria says and her and Alistair walked over to the man. Murdock is not impressed with a female mage warden but Neria doesn't cast on the man simply because Alistair has grabbed her arm in warning. Zevran looks like he would dearly love to either kill Alistair or at least make the man let go of Neria but is quiet instead. Agreeing to talk to Ser Perth the man in charge of the defenses up near the castle, Dwyn a dwarf mercenary and the blacksmith Neria sighs at the laundry list of things to accomplish before dark. 

"Leliana, Zevran talk to Ser Perth and make sure he gets whatever he needs. Morrigan and Sten you get to convince the dwarf to come play." Tossing the bag of coins to Morrigan she smiles at the witch's gleaming eyes. "Pay him, we need him alive and in fighting form if possible. Alistair and I will handle the blacksmith. Let's meet at the tavern when we are done." Neria indicates the building at the top of a hill. 

Morrigan smiles as Sten holds the dwarf upside down as she counts coin out to pay the man. "You will fight tonight or I will have my friend here rip you limb from limb. Understood?" Dwyn nods, as does his two mercs with him. Smiling Morrigan sweeps out of the cottage as Sten drops the man unceremoniously onto the floor and follows her. Zevran and Leliana have found out the Knight wants holy protection and Leliana has gone to the Chantry to talk to the reverend mother while Zevran looks to see if there is anything else they can use and finds a stash of oil in the general store. Smiling as Leliana informs him the Chantry would indeed provide protection they head back to Perth with the good news. Neria and Alistair knock on the door and the blacksmith is not opening it. Sighing at the fact she can't get either of her rouges to unlock the door she has Alistair threaten to break it down. 

Finally allowed in she gags at the stale smell of alcohol and mourns the fact the fires of the forge are long cold. "Looks like someone's been drinking." Alistair quips. 

"It's my daughter Valena. She works up in the castle and hasn't returned. I want a promise you will find her and return her to me." Owen says staggering a little. 

"Fine, I will find Valena if you will open the forge again and get the men's armor repaired." Neria says. Owen is on her before she can even realize it, he is choking her and she has no idea how to get him to let her go.

"Take your hands off of her Owen." Alistair says hand on sword. 

"She's lying to me; she isn't going to look for Valena!" Owain is looking at Alistair eyes crazed. 

"If a Grey Warden says they will do something then they will." Alistair says even as he unsheathes his sword. 

"Grey Warden? Fine but you better bring her back!" Owen pushes her towards Alistair who side steps to keep his blade trained on Owen. Neria crashes into the wall and coughs trying to get air back into her throat. Owen ignores them and goes to light the fire again. "It feels good to get back to work to be honest." He says dismissing Alistair and Neria. 

Alistair helps Neria out of the blacksmith even as she is rubbing her throat knowing there will be marks soon. "Why would you put yourself within reach of him?" Alistair asks as they trudge up the hill to the tavern. 

"I didn't think he was dangerous." Neria says trying to take a deep breath and failing. 

"That will be a fatal mistake one day Neria." Alistair holds the door open for her. Neria just casts a withering look at Alistair as she walks in and looks for the rest of the group. 

"Here sweetie, your group is over there." A brunette saunters over glancing at Neria and Alistair with a smile on her face. "If you want a drink talk to Lloyd, he guards the tap like a jealous   
husband." Neria can feel the old injuries on the woman; the way she smiles is false. 

"How does he treat you?" Neria asks slipping a hand onto the woman's wrist and casting a low heal. 

"He's rough but we get by." 

"I can talk to him if you like." Neria tries to catch the woman's eyes. 

"I appreciate the offer but no, I'd love to get out of here though." 

"Tell you what, let's get through the night and I will give you enough gold to put this tiny town to your back and never look back." Neria says and is rewarded with a look. 

"What would you want in return?" 

"Promise me you'll be the owner and not the worker at your new place." Neria leans in close to the other woman and traces healing pattern on the inside of her arm. 

"You have a deal, name's Bella." Bella says a bit breathless, her eyes dilated. 

"Good." 

Leliana looks around the room and frowns slightly at the elf sitting at the table by himself. Walking over with her drink she perches lightly on the table and smiles at him. "Care for some company?" she offers putting her drink down to look at him. 

"No, thank you I'm waiting." 

"For what?" Leliana catches the elf in her gaze willing him to tell her. 

"I was told to wait and report, I haven't even been able to do that." 

"You'd do well to tell me all Bernard is it?" Leliana watches his eyes wants to know what the elf is hiding. 

"Uh what oh yes that's my name." 

"No it is not, do not lie to me. You will not like the results." Leliana has taken out one of her daggers makes a show of tossing it in her hand.

"I was told to report what happened at the castle." Elf watches the knife dancing, knows he has been outplayed.

"Who told you to report and what are you supposed to report?" Leliana catches the knife points it at the elf. 

"Any changes at the castle, I don't know who asked me to report. I never saw his face. I was supposed to report to a man at the Pearl in Denerim when things got bad at the castle." 

"Uh huh, tell you what you sorry excuse for a spy. How about you help defend the town tonight and I won't tell Bann Teegan about you." Leliana has started flipping her blade in the man's face. Bernard nods he would and follows Leliana over to the Militia that is at another table. Smiling the Militia assure Leliana they will make sure Bernard is out there to defend come nightfall. 

Neria settles into a seat offered by Zevran that puts her in front of him leaving him the freedom to taunt and tease her under the table tracing lines and words on her thighs where her boots do not cover. She draws a deep breath trying to think clearly with the elf's hands on her. "We have a few hours before we are supposed to do anything feel free to shop or visit as you like." Neria says a little out of breath. Zevran leans forward and traces her ear with his tongue. 

"We have a room upstairs and I want to use it." Nodding Neria lets Zevran lead her upstairs. 

"You really need to tell her how you feel Alistair." Leliana looks at the Templar and smiles. He looks forlorn as Neria disappears with Zevran up the stairs. 

"She would never pick me Leliana, there are times I am sure she hates me." 

"She does not hate you Alistair, she fears you." Morrigan chimes in earning looks from the rest of the table. 

"Why would she fear me?" Alistair looks at Morrigan hard. 

"You represent everything that has been wrong with her life. I am sure you know some of what happened to her before she became a Warden. Wouldn't Duncan have told you?" Morrigan looks intently at Alistair. 

"Not really, only that we would make a good team." 

"She requires you to help her with her magic; she walks a very fine line between control and chaos. Closer than I have ever seen anyone. That much power she would have been surrounded by Templars for her entire time there. Maybe they did something to her. “Leliana says playing with her dagger on the table. 

“Whatever happened she won't tell me about it. I only know she was found in a field outside Denerim surrounded in bodies. She had called down a fireball or inferno." Leliana gasps at Alistair's information. 

"How old was she?" 

"Three, maybe four. Irving and Gregor found her and brought her to the tower. She was conscripted into the Wardens for her 18th birthday. Anything between those two events I have no clue about." Alistair finishes the ale and gets more. 

She is nearly naked before they even get to the room and her eyes are bright with lust. "Who marked you?" Zevran frowns at the fingerprints on her throat. "Did the Templar do this?" Zevran's eyes flash and Neria smiles. 

"No, blacksmith did actually. Accused me of lying to him about finding his daughter in the castle. Alistair was the shiny knight and had him remove his hands." Zev stops any further discussion by kissing her thoroughly. Neria tags her bracelet as she feels her magic sizzle around them both. "Let's keep the sex outside the realm of amazing, I really don't want to bring the tavern down on top of us." Neria gasps as Zevran runs his tongue from breast to hip. Chuckling Zevran captures her nipple in his mouth and hums in pleasure. 

"Neria, wake up amore. Can you make it stop snowing now?" Zevran is sitting under all the covers and trying to wake Neria. 

"Neria! Open the door right now." Alistair yells from the other side of the door. Neria rolls over and looks up at Zevran and then smiles. Her assassin is covered in snow and shivering. Neria breathes deeply and lets go of the magic. 

"Open the door, Zevran. Alistair will break it down." Zevran strolls across the room completely nude to allow the Templar in. 

"Oh really! You can't put on some clothes?" Alistair storms in turning beet red and looks over at the bed where Neria is hiding under the covers looking at Alistair from her blanket fort. 

"You seemed like you were going to break down the door besides there is nothing wrong with being nude in front of potential paramours." Alistair rolls his eyes as he approaches Neria hand out trying to cast cleanse. 

"Stop Alistair, I am in control. Bracelet is on and blinking and it has stopped snowing. I can cast a little flame and get everything dry but if you cleanse me I can't do that. You don't want Zevran nude for the fight tonight do you?" Neria arches an appreciative eyebrow at the elf. 

"Fine but stay in contact with me when you cast the flames, we don't need the tavern coming down on us." He sits on the edge of the bed and holds his hand out to her. Neria reaches out her hand the blankets falling open a little. Alistair stares as Neria jumps back showing her back gathering the covers. Scars cross her back in a motley pattern along with the dragon tattoo. 

Zevran has never commented on them knowing they make Neria uncomfortable. "What happened?" Alistair reaches out to trace one of the scars and Neria looks back at him over her shoulder. 

"I can also suffer from magic. Most of them are control training." 

“First Enchanter would never allow something like that to happen under his roof." Alistair shakes his head. 

"It, I wasn't under his roof. I received them when they sent me to Aeonar." This last is said with a measured look at Alistair. Neria grabs Alistair's hand and casts a gentle heat to dry the   
room. Finished she releases Alistair's hand and maneuvers to get her clothes on. Turning her back to the men she drops the sheet to allow both of them full view of the extensive scarring and her tattoo. Worst is her back but as she steps into her boots with the help of the wall Alistair sees those scars trace a little over her waist and onto her buttocks and finally to the back of her legs. 

"Done ogling?" Neria looks over her shoulder at Alistair as she goes to pull the robe over her head. Alistair swears and leaves the room. Zevran walks over to Neria and traces one of the scars that run from hip to buttocks. 

"fire whip?" He traces others naming what has done them and tracing the scars with his lips as well as his fingers as Neria groans against him dropping the robes. He is in her quickly slowly thrusting in and out slowly tracing the scars with lips and hands as he whispers. "Your scars mark you as a survivor Neria, beautiful and strong and deadly. Do not let the Templar tell you otherwise. Do not let any of them tell you otherwise." Neria smiles and leans back against Zevran and traces his ear with her fingers until both of them are crying out with release. 

Heading down to the Tavern a couple hours before sunset Neria gathers her group and works out who would be where. Leliana, Morrigan, Sten will be down in the village while Neria, Alistair and Zevran will be up on the road. Figured out they eat and wait for the sun to go down. When it does a cry goes up from the scouts the horde is on the way. "Okay Alistair and Zev, stay clear of me. I am going to try and deal with any that get past you two and heal as needed." Both men nod and Zev kisses her soundly before getting into position. It is a long night for all of them. Neria throws a lot of fireballs and casts a lot of chain lightning as the skeletons try to get to them. At one point a runner comes up to tell them they are needed in the village. Neria nods as Alistair and Zevran follow her casting heal and rejuvenate on the two. When she gets down to the village she can see things are not going well. Casting heal on Murdock she freezes the skeleton that has backed him almost into the fire. Leliana looks a little haggard as she shoots arrow after arrow and darts around the battlefield giving the soldiers help when needed. Morrigan looks the freshest of the group having made some of the skeletons hers with a flick of her wrist. As Neria walks to the battle she sips on a lyrium potion restoring some of her magic. She mourns the loss of the soldiers but is thankful for the mana when a new wave comes from the lake. 

Zinging lightning through the wave of skeletons a few fall over but not enough. Neria has separated herself from the group in order to give her magic free reign. It whips around her in an impressive display of fire, ice and lightning. She knows her magic can go wild but where she is at it would do little damage and she lets it go. Skeleton after Skeleton falls to her until she stands in a ring of bodies. As the sun peeks out of the sky Neria reigns in her magic to survey the damage and see if there are more coming at her. Sucking that much magic back in always exhausts her and she sits down where she is. 

Alistair remembers Duncan's warning so many weeks ago about Neria's magic and the carnage she can cause but he hadn't really grasped exactly what it means until he rounds the corner and sees the circle of bodies. She sits in the middle of them and rests her head on her arms crossed over her knees while her staff is close to hand. She looks tiny and alone. At his steps she raises her head and is whispering a spell until she recognizes him and lets go of the magic. Alistair staggers a little at the magnitude of the magic she lets go. "Well done mi amo."   
Zevran lithely steps around the bodies to raise her up and kiss Neria running hands over her checking for injuries. 

"Are you okay?" Alistair asks Neria not looking at the display. 

"Yes, though a bit tired. feels good to let my magic go a bit though." 

Following Zevran through the bodies Neria leans against him tiredly and Zevran grows concerned. "Are you sure you are not hurt?" 

"I am fine. Just need a bit of a rest which I will get after the speeches are done." Alistair does cast cleanse on her which Neria glares at him for. Speeches are indeed in order from Bann   
Teegan and then the Reverend Mother and then Murdock. Teegan presents Neria with a helmet and she doesn't roll her eyes merely takes the helmet, thanks the man and passes it to Alistair. As their hands touch Alistair looks at her closely. Frowning at her he hands the helmet to Sten and swings her up into his arms as she comes down the stairs. 

"What?" Zevran says keeping pace with the Templar as he strides into the Chantry with her and sets her down on the narrow bed. Stripping off his gauntlets he shuts the door of the office as Zevran slips in. Opening it again he tells Leliana to get his pack from the tavern. 

Done ordering people around Alistair turns back to Neria who is getting paler and paler. "Get her robes off, she's injured badly somewhere." he says to Zevran as he starts with her boots and pulls them off.

As Zevran sits her up "Braska! She told me she was not injured." 

"She may not have known she was, oh that is going to be a nasty scar." Alistair says as Zevran exposes the slash from back to rib. it is ugly and bleeding profusely. 

"How did you know?" 

"She's not leaking magic. Neria always leaks magic, even sleeping. It's like having an insect constantly buzzing in your ear. When she casts it’s like bee stings and honestly it’s very difficult to be around her. When she has her bracelet turned on I get a little respite, the insects can be ignored. However when she is excited or casting it's horrible." Alistair says looking for any other injuries. 

"Are all Templars that attuned to magic?" Zevran asks and Alistair pauses in the threading of the needle to look at Zevran. 

"No and I was always told I wouldn't be able to hunt the lesser mages. I can't feel them. Her though, she's like putting your face to the flames and praying you don't get burned." 

"Yet you care for her." Zevran says leveling a look at Alistair. 

"She and I are complicated." Is the only reply Alistair will give as he finishes washing and stitching up her wound. Calling Morrigan into the room he states, “Morrigan, Cast sleep on her   
please. I want her to sleep for a time before we wake her up to heal herself." Alistair says leaving the room. 

"I don’t think I like him giving orders." Morrigan says doing as he asks. Looking over at the sleeping Neria Morrigan runs a hand over her hair and swipes a curl out of her face. 

"Another scar to add to the collection." Morrigan looks at Zev as she says this. 

"I have some of the story but not enough of it. Not enough to make any conclusions anyways. You know about her scars though don't you?" Zevran is sitting in a chair next to the bed looking relaxed but Morrigan knows better. 

"No, I know she has them but none of the stories. When mother rescued them from the tower I saw her scars but as soon as she woke up she and Alistair left." 

"She trusts no one." Zevran admits tracing a finger down Neria's face. 

"Very hard to trust when those you trust are either your captors or your victims." Morrigan says leaving the room.   
Alistair finds Teegan in the Chantry hall and waits as the man hurries to meet him. "What happened?" 

"Neria's taken a nasty cut, she needs to rest for a couple of hours and then she should be able to heal herself." Alistair says with a dismissive hand gesture. 

"We really can't have done this without you Alistair, thank you." Teegan claps Alistair on the back as he says this. 

"We still have to get the castle back have we seen anything from there yet?" Alistair smiles tightly. 

"Nothing, I will let you know when we do." Teegan says and leaves. 

Neria wakes up in degrees, fighting the sleep spell on her and the grogginess of too much sleep at the wrong time of day. Moving experimentally she notices the stitches with a wince which wakes Zevran from his light doze. "How do you feel?" Zevran asks leaning forward in the chair. 

"Stiff, how is chair duty?" Neria asks waving a hand to him. 

"Overrated, you worried me a bit there mio, having the Templar carry you is not my finest moment." Zevran says smiling lightly. 

"He is a good beast of burden on occasion isn't he?" Neria says answering the smile with one of her own. 

"You might think of making peace with him one of these days Neria. Alistair cares for you deeply." 

"He is a Templar and it is literally a pain for me to be around him.” Neria shakes her head at this. 

"You can work on your control more Neria." Zevran is trying to figure out how this conversation got here.

"My magic has not settled yet, most mages come into full power in their teen year’s right at puberty. My magic has just gotten stronger and harder to deal with. Irving once told me I reminded him of a star. To burn so brightly I might burn myself out too soon." Zevran kisses her then, kisses her like if he doesn't he would die then and there. Neria accepts it and pulls Zevran to her wrapping arms and legs around the assassin. 

"You do realize you are in a church right?" Alistair comes in and scowls at the display. Neria smiles and lifts an eyebrow at the Templar. 

"You are welcome to try and do something about it." Smiling as she says this she kisses Zevran again and lets the flames lick over them both. 

"Not funny Neria put the flames out before you set the bed on fire." Neria scowls at Alistair as she feels him cast cleanse to douse her flames. Still kissing Zevran she reaches out her hand to Alistair who takes it to cast another cleanse. As she kisses Zevran she makes circles in Alistair's hand casting a small amount of magic on the Templar and smiles as his breathing goes shallow and she realizes his arousal. Zevran traces kisses from her lips down her body and Neria pulls Alistair closer capturing his finger in her mouth and suckling strongly sending more magic into him. She knows her magic causes him pain but with the pulses as controlled as they are plus her licking and teasing Alistair's breathing comes out harsher.   
Alistair is trapped in a circle of pleasure pain that is driving him crazy. Neria lets the sheet drop showing off her body to Alistair as Zevran moves behind her sliding a hand between her thighs to stroke. Running a hand up Alistair's chest Neria keeps up the suckling while she grabs his other hand and puts it on her shoulder. Alistair slid his hand to her breast and starts to run a finger over the nipple lightly amazed when it reacts to him. Sliding a hand to pull her closer he hits her stitches though and that snaps him back to reality. Shaking his head he turns beat red and stammers slamming the door behind him as he flees. 

"That did not go the way you wanted it to did it?" Zevran traces kisses up and down her neck and palming the breast Alistair has left with his free hand. 

"I'm not sure what I wanted out of that encounter to be honest. I'm not oh yes, Zev now need you now. What I wanted from Alistair. I am not attracted to him that I know of." Zevran smiles as he enters her from behind and sets a slow tempo well aware she has been injured just hours before. 

"You need to heal yourself Neria. I can take the stitches out if you need me to." 

"Alistair did a pretty decent job of it actually." 

"Take what you need and heal yourself; we still have a castle to take back." Zevran says again rubbing a nipple and sliding in and out faster. As they comes together Neria heals herself and Zevran. Zevran smiles at the cut that has healed cleanly without even a scar and slices through the stitches to remove them. 

Dressed and healed Neria goes to find Alistair and the rest of the group. "Bann Teegan wants us to meet him up near the mill.” Alistair says looking everywhere but at Neria. 

"I did not mean to make you uncomfortable Alistair; you have to know I don't think of you that way. It is cruel of me and I will not do it again." Neria says as the rest file out of the Chantry to go to the mill. Alistair doesn't say anything merely walks out. Following the group they make decent time to the mill where Bann Teegan is. As he is about to speak though he sees something behind Neria that stops him.


	13. Conner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Very hard to trust someone when they are either your captors or your victims" - Morrigan

"By the Maker, Isolde. How is this possible?" 

"Teegan, you have to come back to the castle with me." Isolde is frantic.

"Is Eamon still alive?" Teegan counters. 

"Yes but I don't know for how long. It's Conner; he's requested you come back to the castle by yourself." 

"You are not telling us everything." Neria chimes in earning a poisonous look from the woman. 

"Who is this woman? How dare you!" 

"Lady Isolde do you remember me Alistair?" 

"Alistair! Why would YOU be here?" 

"They are Grey Wardens Isolde and have saved the town. I will come with you for Conner if you want but I need to speak to them a moment. I will meet you at the bridge." Isolde leaves and Teegan turns to look at the group. 

"There is a secret passage in the Mill, take my signet ring and use it on the door. The tunnel there leads to the castle. See if you can open the gate to Perth's men while I keep Conner entertained." Neria nods in understanding taking the ring from the Noble. 

Headed into the keep Neria wonders if this is the best idea. When they hit the bottom of the mill and started walking Neria takes a deep breath and has her staff glow to add to Morrigan's as they walk down the tunnel lighting the way. Sten is bringing up the rear and has to duck his head to keep from hitting it. Alistair leads the way with Morrigan behind him then Leliana then Zevran and Neria. Opening a door Neria sees and hears the undead and a familiar voice. Alistair charges the undead as Neria doubles over at the stench of unwashed bodies and decay. Each cell holds the long dead body of someone and Neria knows some of them did not die well. "Here." Zevran ties a cloth across her nose and mouth helping her to block at least some of the stench. Once the undead are killed Neria approaches the cell they have been reaching into. 

"Hello? Is someone there?" Jowen asks. Neria looks at the mage and gasps. Jowen is a skeleton of his former self. "Neria? Oh Neria thank goodness. Can you get me out of here?" 

"What are you doing here Jowen?" Neria doesn't touch the bars, knows better. 

"I didn’t do this. I didn’t raise the dead. I is only trying to teach Conner magic." Jowen stammers out. 

"Why would you teach Conner magic?" Alistair inquires quietly. 

"Arlesa Isolde has asks for an apostate to teach her son in secret. Tyern Loghain found out and sent me to poison the Arl and teach the boy. I poisoned the Arl but I didn’t raise the dead." Jowen says shaking his head.

"Why is he an apostate?" Leliana asks. 

"I'm a blood mage." Jowen admits. 

"I would never have guessed." Morrigan quips looking the mage over speculatively. 

"When Isolde found out I had poisoned the Arl she sent me down here, she had me tortured. I just want to make things right. Oh Maker I have really messed up this time haven’t I?" Jowen is pleading with Neria and she is torn. 

Neria glances at her companions her hands held stiffly at her sides. "I say let him try and redeem himself." Morrigan says surprising them all. 

"He's a blood mage, that can't be good." Alistair is predictable. 

"I say we kill him, he is not to be trusted." Sten is always black and white. 

"I say let him redeem himself or let him go why hold him here?" Morrigan says again. 

"Hey now, he's a blood mage you can’t just let him go free." Alistair shakes his head no. 

"Is this Alistair that speaks or the Templar?" Morrigan taunts.

"I'd say it is common sense, we don’t even know the whole story yet." Alistair casts a poisonous look at Morrigan.  
"He wishes to redeem himself, doesn’t everyone deserve that chance?" 

"Oh like someone else we know?" Zevran smiles as he says this to Leliana's comment. 

"Everyone deserves to redeem themselves in the Maker's eyes, this man no less than any." Leliana responds quickly. 

"Just give me a chance." Jowen pleads with Neria who is still standing stiffly looking at the cell. 

"Fine, you can come with me if you want to help." Neria decides quickly. 

"into battle? Are you sure that is a good idea?" Jowen asks shrinking back into his cell. 

"Fine stay here; let me clear the castle and we will see what help you can offer with Conner." Neria says and keeps walking. 

Clearing that castle is not easy. Undead are everywhere and Neria isn't sure what she can have done without the rest of the group. Making their way up from the dungeons to the first floor Ash Wraiths join the fray along with some rage demons. After a particularly nasty encounter with one rage demon Alistair looks at her. "You faced one of these as part of your Harrowing?" 

"Yes, but I will not speak of anything else that happened in that. What happens in the Harrowing is for mages only Templar. Remember that." Casting heal on him Neria moves through another door, and freezes the skeleton on the other side. 

"You forget it's a Templar that has to deal with whatever comes out of the Harrowing if it isn't a mage." he bashes the Popsicle skeleton and looks at Neria pointedly. 

"Stop biting each other and focus on getting this done." Leliana steps between Neria and Alistair breaking their eye contact. 

"Courtyard is on the other side of the castle and down through the cellar." Alistair says leading the way. Zevran strokes Neria's back knowing she is agitated and a part of the reason why she is. Reaching the last door before the cellar Neria opens it and almost shuts it again as a woman screams and tries to hit her. 

"Shush! you are safe. Stop that yelling right now." Morrigan snaps debating freezing the girl. 

"Valena?" Neria asks tentatively hoping it is the blacksmith's daughter. 

"Yes?" 

"Your father is worried sick about you, can you get back to the town?" Neria says hoping the woman doesn't scream again. 

"Is it safe?" she asks. 

“Stay behind us, you can run through the gates when I open them for Ser Perth." Neria says and the girl shakes her head. 

"I will take her and show her where the tunnel is to the windmill. I will rejoin you after that is done." Sten volunteers much to everyone's surprise. 

Sten leaves with Valena and the group finishes clearing the cellar and moves up the steps to the courtyard. "Get that gate open" is Alistair's command. Neria nods and sprints across the yard as undead started shooting and chasing after her. Neria gets the gate open to allow Perth's men to flood into the yard. As she turns to start healing and casting a chain wraps around her waist and yanks her across the yard towards a very thin and tall monstrosity.

"Revenant!" Alistair yells as he sees Neria being yanked. "Don't let it touch you!" Alistair yells as he tries to taunt the thing to him and keep the skeletons he is busy with from hitting him. 

"Go Alistair, I have these." Zevran says decapitating one of the skeletons and blocking another one. As Alistair walks across the yard he prays and smiles as Leliana's voice rings out clear and clean with the chant. The chain that holds Neria and drags her closer and closer falters as the prayer washes over the unholy creature. Zevran has thrown one of his knives to stop the chain from being moved any closer to the Revenant. Neria is screaming in pain and frustration as her hands are bound to her sides and her staff lies uselessly far away from her. Reaching the Revenant Alistair smites it and steps on the chain to keep it from moving. This Revenant is very strong and throws Alistair through the air and continues to pull Neria closer. Quickly getting to his feet again Alistair charges the Revenant and knocks it off balance. Following that up with a pummel he manages to decapitate it as he smites it again. Neria is unconscious and cold. Looking up he notices Zevran has finished his targets and so has Leliana but Morrigan is sitting under a tree and doesn't look conscious either. 

Rushing over Zevran and Alistair manages to get the chains off of Neria and carry her to where Morrigan lays. "Are they okay?" Perth asks glancing at both mages. 

"Morrigan is fine, Neria is not okay. Revenant sucked some of her magic or mana or both which is why it kept getting stronger." Alistair says and Morrigan comes awake suddenly and   
reaches out to Neria casting a feeble heal as she does. 

"Get some lyrium into her, she needs her magic back. I hate Revenant" Morrigan pours some of the potion she is downing into Neria's mouth and swears as it dribbles out. Zev sits down and pulls Neria into his lap, tilting her head back he dribbles more potions in and then strokes her throat willing her to swallow. She does and is soon coming around. 

"Hand her over Zevran, we both know she's going to explode when she wakes up." Alistair leans down to take Neria and Zevran stops himself from protecting Neria. "Rest of you get close to Morrigan, she can keep you safe in her little bubble spell.” Alistair strides back over to the Revenant with Neria and waits for her to wake up. 

"Stay here Zevran, he'd never hurt her." Leliana holds Zevran’s arm stroking it absently as the assassin watches anxiously. 

"I know that, but does she?" Zevran says looking at the bard. 

"She will trust him eventually," Leliana whispers. 

"Best gaze in your crystal ball again bard, a mage that trusts a Templar is a dead mage." Morrigan says casting the bubble spell as Neria's magic wakes up. Magic healing slides all over Alistair and sets his heart to racing and then comes the flames. They exploded out of Neria and wash around and over Alistair and he swears as his armor super-heats before it starts snowing around them and then his armor is coated in snow. Casting cleanse Neria starts to fight Alistair's grip. 

"No! Let me have my magic, please don't take it. I'll be good I swear, please don't take my magic. No you will not take my magic." Neria is up and flames lick all over her body, then the flames makes a bubble around her wrapping in bands around her with her hair flaming out around her she is impressive. 

Zevran has grabbed a bucket of water from the trough when he sees her jump up. Heaving the water onto Neria, she turns her gaze to him incredulously. "He can't take your magic cara, but you really need to calm down." Zevran reasons holding the empty bucket. 

"Water Zev? Really you thought a bucket of water would work?" Alistair quips from behind his shield. 

"Can't take my magic?" Neria asks in a childlike tone looking at Alistair. 

"Can't, I can help you not hurt others though. You don't want to hurt others do you?" Alistair says offering his hand to Neria. Neria's magic winks out and she casts heal on Alistair and the rest of the group. 

"No I don't want to hurt everyone. My magic though is not so picky." 

"Shall we enter the hall together?" Ser Perth asks looking at Alistair. 

"Yes." 

Inside the group is greeted by a Bann Teegan capering about acting like a fool. Isolde cowers near her son who is glaring at them as they enter the hall. "Who would dare interrupt my entertainment?" A very not Conner voice booms out. 

"What the Maker?" Perth asks. 

"I will not tolerate this interruption. These are the fools who stopped my fun in the village. Guards attack!" Even as Conner says this he runs out and guards comes at the group. 

"None lethal folks, let's just knock them out." Neria commands even as Teegan comes at her. Alistair knocks the Bann out and Neria wields her staff in front of her not daring to lose her magic in this close of confines. Morrigan casts sleep and paralyze on a few of the guards, Leliana and Zev both managed to knock their opponents out. 

Teegan is the first to recover shaking his head even as Sten steps between him and Morrigan. "ugh, that isn't fun...” Teegan shakes his head. 

"So Conner is the evil causing all of this. You should have told us." Neria accuses scared out of her mind. 

"So the boy made a deal with the demon. Foolish child." Morrigan purrs. 

"Don't hurt my baby. If anyone must pay it needs to be me." Isolde is frantic. 

"Okay let's start from the top shall we?" Neria asks. 

"Conner started showing signs of magic so I hired an apostate to teach him enough to hide it. The apostate poisoned Arl Eamon and then this started happening." Isolde is in tears at the end of the tale and Neria is not feeling charitable. 

"Okay, well Jowen is still down in the dungeons let’s see if he has a plan to get us out of this mess. Maybe he can reverse what he did to the Arl." Neria says trying to figure a way out of this. 

Jowen is led up by guards and faces Isolde as she flings accusations at him. "No Isolde, all of this is not his fault. You were the one that thought to contain magic not him." Teegan says seething. 

"We can enter the fade, kill the demon there. It will require a lot of mages and lyrium." Neria says her voice a bit shaky. 

"I can cast it but it would require a sacrifice." Jowen says. 

"Blood magic? How can more blood magic be the answer?" Alistair asks not liking that idea.

"I say kill the boy, end this now." Morrigan chimes in and Neria is happy someone says what she is thinking. 

"There are mages and lyrium not far from here." Zevran adds to the conversation surprising a few. 

"But do we have that much time?" Leliana asks and Neria hugs herself knowing she is going to be forced to make this decision. 

"Take my blood, I will die so my son will live please don't hurt my baby." Isolde pleads with Neria. 

"STOP!" Neria yells flames bursting all over her skin. "Look at me Isolde. This is magic. You cannot contain it just learn to control it. Asking a mage to HIDE their magic is like asking you to cut yourself and leave it untreated as it festers and rots and gets worse. You cannot hide magic, you learn to control it or you end up being controlled by it." Neria stalks towards Isolde flames licking up and down half of her body while a snowball forms in the other hand. 

"Neria, control yourself." Alistair steps towards her not really wanting to defend Isolde but knowing the devastation an angry Neria can do.

"There is nothing like learning how to use your magic, how to make a flower bloom or how to make it snow inside." Neria says causing a flower to bloom on a table while casting a blizzard over the top of Isolde. 

"However since YOU HAVE CHOSEN to deny your son's magic he's made a deal with a demon. Now I get to clean up YOUR mess and deny the world what might have been a First   
Enchanter." Neria's flower has withered and died and the snow above Isolde has turned to ashes. Neria raises an eyebrow at Morrigan's show and watches as the witch smiles. Suddenly turning off her magic she sees Alistair grunt a little at the force of magic. 

"What would you decide?" Teegan asks quietly. 

"For every moment Conner and that demon are alive more people suffer and die. I do not have the time to go and get mages from the tower and to be honest I cannot say they wouldn't   
slay Conner instead of trying to save him. However I will not deny the world another mage, I will not deprive Eamon of his only son." Neria says it sadly, doesn't want this to happen this way. 

"You want me to sacrifice her don't you?" Jowen asks quietly. 

"Andraste forgive me for what I am about to do for I will never forgive myself for this." Neria looks at Alistair and the Templar is in full mode with a passive mask Neria is not fooled by.   
"I will go if you want Neria." Morrigan offers and it must have surprised her too to offer. 

"No. This is my decision and I will face this. Isolde, are you sure you want to do this? Are you truly ready to die?" Neria looks at Isolde wonders if this will be the right decision. 

"Yes. I started this, Maker forgive me. Oh Eamon!" Isolde is all tears. 

"Jowen, get yourself ready. Please know if you try anything Alistair will slay you where you stand and I will come back from the fade and rip you apart. This is your only chance to redeem yourself." Jowen nods at Neria's tone and starts to prepare for the ritual. 

"Cara, are you sure this is a good idea? What if the demon takes over you?" Zevran is nervous about this, not sure he can handle losing Neria.

"Then I suggest you make yourself very desirable to demon me." Neria traces the tattoo on Zevran's face as the assassin smiles. "No worries my assassin, I have been to the fade and come out again. I can do this." 

"We are ready." Jowen says even as he downs a lyrium potion and Neria stands next to Jowen. Neria locks eyes with Alistair who has also finished blessing his circle. 

"Dot not hesitate Alistair, I do not want to harm them." He nods at Neria's plea.

Jowen slits his wrist and Neria feels the magic grow. Isolde standing in a circle of runes is lifted even as her blood spills as well. Chanting as Jowen casts he runs against the barrier holding Isolde and then grabs Neria. Neria's body crumples to the floor as Isolde's burst like an overripe melon coating the walls of the rune circle. Jowen collapses on his knees. "It's done, now we wait." When Zevran would have gone forward to touch Neria Alistair's blade is there to stop him.

"Do not touch her Zev, it might bring her out of the fade or it might pull you in. Do not cross that circle, right now it's keeping us all safe." Leliana is praying her voice airy and light as the chant rings out. Morrigan is sitting in a chair her staff over her knees seeming to meditate. Sten stands just on the outside of the circle near Alistair also keeping vigil. 

"Conner? Conner where are you?" Neria hears the voice calling over and over and wonders if it might be the Arl. Following the sound she soon comes across a spectral older man whom she assumes is the Arl. "Have you seen my son? I can hear him but I cannot find him." 

"Arl Eamon?" When the Arl nods Neria forges on. "You are in the fade; can you tell me what happened?" 

"Conner, Conner where are you?" Arl Eamon is oblivious of Neria and she shakes her head. She is not going to be able to get Eamon out of this which means he has not bargained with the demon. Walking to the next alcove she sees Conner. 

"Conner? Are you okay?" Neria rushes forth to the child only to have it turn into a demon. Freezing the demon and then casting an arcane bolt the demon dies but there is laughter everywhere. 

Blocking her ears Neria walks to the portal and finds herself in a long hallway with only one door. Opening the door she approaches this Conner. "Why are you hurting me? You’re the one hurting father. I won't let you have him!" This Conner turns into two demons and Neria quickly deals with them. Another portal this one opens into a desert landscape with one path that leads to a huge circle. In the circle stands a demon Neria recognizes as a desire demon. her dark blue skin is flawless, her body lithe and designed to be pleasing to the eye. Neria smiles despite herself and approaches carefully. Perfectly sized breasts are pierced and the demon wears a scrap of a skirt designed to accentuate her long legs. 

"So you have come to claim the boy from me? Wouldn't you rather touch me?" This is said with a sway of her hips and Neria feels her body react. 

"Do you prefer this one?" Neria gasps as the demon turns into Alistair. She strikes fast and hard with a shock to the demon. 

"No, oh what about this one?" It is Zevran's voice that has her look up incredulously. 

"No, you will give me the boy. You will die demon." 

"Oh and what if I can offer you something? I can teach you magic your circle would never agree too but it will make you more powerful. I can teach you how to ensnare any man you want with a flick of your wrist. I can even make Alistair love you if you wanted. Consider what I offer. I would leave for a time, but I retain the contract on the boy to be taken long after you have any need of him." 

"Never demon, I have enough power for now, I can ensnare my men just fine and I do not want Alistair's love." Neria casts a cone of cold as she says this and then a lightning to arch through the demon. She smiles as the lightning arches through her. 

"Oh, now that felt good. shall we try some flames?" Desire demon says and then casts a fireball. The demon gasps when Neria catches the fireball in her palm and makes it dance for her. 

"Flames? oh please honey I was casting that when I was three." Neria flings the flames back and follows it up with more lightning to arc all over the demon. Then it is over and Neria is waking up on the floor.

Alistair approaches her sword drawn and Neria holds out her hand to him and turns on the bracelet. Both of them sigh as the cleanse spell works to clear her of the leftover magic and Alistair gets to breath freely at least for a moment. Neria glances at Isolde's remains and gags. Jowen sits with his wrists wrapped next to the body. "Conner is himself once more." Neria says and Alistair banishes his circle and Neria is being kissed and hugged by Zevran & Leliana. "I want Jowen released into my custody." Neria says looking at Teegan 

"Not without Eamon better, if Eamon recovers he is free to go. If not then his fate is sealed." Teegan says signaling his guards to take Jowen back down to the dungeons. 

"Fine but he is to be treated fairly and no torture. Agree to this Teegan or I conscript him on the spot." Neria is not backing down. 

Teegan nods his head and leads them up to see Eamon. Isolde's body is gently laid out to join the rest of the bodies that will be burned. Eamon is not better and this distresses Teegan "Isolde spoke about an Urn of Sacred Ashes. Maybe that can help him. There is a brother Genetivi in Denerim that should have answers about it." 

"Fine, I will see what we can do. For now let's see Isolde off to the Maker and then I need sleep." 

"Of course." Teegan answers Neria. Isolde is Orlesian and that country does a boat ceremony. Standing on the docks many are sent out in boats led by the former Arlesa. When she is far enough out Leliana draws her bow and Neria lights the arrow. Losing the arrow Neria pats Conner on the back. Conner has no idea about what has happened and Neria has told him his mother has been killed in the attacks with all the others. 

"Send him to the tower when you can Teegan, do not have Jowen work with him." Neria says spinning on her heel and climbing the stairs. 

Finding the bedroom that is supposed to be hers Neria nearly cries with relief when she sees the tub with steaming water. Quickly undressing she gets into the tub and sighs in contentment. "In the tub without me?" Zevran comes in and smiles. "For the moment yes, you are welcome to join me if you like though." Zevran shucks his clothing and steps into the tub to tangle his legs with hers. Neria crawls forward between his legs and kisses him. Zevran meets her kiss for kiss even as she slides a hand up and down his thighs. Zevran moans and has her straddle him quickly taking her even as she slides a tongue over the tip of his ear. Not getting the leverage he wants Zevran gets up, wraps her legs around him and steps out of the tub. Grabbing a towel he dries them off as she rides him amazed at his strength. Making it to the bed Zevran lays her back and blankets her with his body. Neria runs fingers up and down him knowing he is marking her as his. Pulling away a bit Zevran runs fingers over every inch of her making her gasp and buck with wanting him. Soon though neither can deny themselves and are enjoying each other. 

Neria is hungry and smiles as she sees Zevran sleeping in the bed. Slipping out the door as quietly as she can she heads down to the kitchen. She makes it down to the first floor but has no idea where to go from there. Turning a corner she runs into something that bounces her off hard enough for her to land on her ass. "Owe!" Neria says looking up to see what she has run into.

"You okay?" Alistair reaches down and pulls her up. Setting her on her feet Alistair checks her for injury. 

"Stop Alistair, I am okay." Neria steps back and Alistair catches her again as her foot catches on the edge of a carpet. Neria looks up at Alistair and is furious as he keeps his hands on her arms to keep her from going anywhere. 

"I want to talk to you anyways." 

"Okay well let's go to the kitchen so I can get some food and you can talk." Neria says irritably as she starts to turn and walk away only for Alistair to turn her the other way and lead her to the kitchen. 

"So you grew up here?" Neria asks waving a hand at the castle. 

"I slept in the stable but yes, I spent a good portion of my childhood here before I was sent to the Chantry." Alistair answers looking at Neria. 

"How was it?" 

"Chantry? Do you really want to know about that?" Alistair is cagey and its irritating. 

"Not if you don't want to talk about it no." Neria says shaking her head not looking at him. 

"It's just I was so furious when I was sent there. I had a locket of my mothers. I threw it at the wall and it shatters. Stupid, stupid boy." 

"Alistair, you were a child being sent away for nothing that is your fault. I would have been angry too." Neria says opening cabinets at random and finally finding plates. Getting bread and the leftover meat she sets Alistair to cutting the meat as she finds the cheese and spread. Sandwiches are made and consumed in silence for a time. 

"What did you want to talk to me about?" Neria asks wiping her face as she feels spread on her chin. 

"How could you kill Isolde? How could you allow that blood mage to kill her?" Alistair says in a rush. 

"Really? That is what you are asking me?" Neria stops eating to glare at Alistair.

"I just don't see how that is the right answer!" 

"Got it, I should have killed Conner then?" When Alistair shakes his head no Neria forges on. "Okay so we should have left him and gone to the Tower instead, what if they would have killed Conner instead of helping him? I made the best decision based on the facts I had at the time. If you think you can do better, by all means." Neria is livid but her anger is cold and little snowflakes fall around her. 

"No, Yes, Maker I don't know. I shouldn't be upset with you. You aren't the one to blame here." Alistair reaches out to her automatically and Neria steps away and turns on her bracelet.   
"Don’t ever second guess me Alistair. You said you wanted to follow then follow. I will happily let you make the decisions if you think you can." Alistair shakes his head no. "While we are at it, keep your hands to yourself. I am not yours to paw at." 

"Don’t I know it." Alistair says sadly.

"Do you know why it's him and not you? Do you really want to know the secret of the mage and the Templar? I killed 15 people when I was 3 or 4. I was so dangerous I was in solitary confinement for most of my childhood. I was too dangerous to let near other children. I had a personal guard of 9 Templars to keep me contained in shifts of 3. I killed my first Templar when I was 12. They sent me to Aeonar where I killed 3 more to keep them off of me, I would have killed more but they figured out just how much mage iron to put on me to bind me. I returned to the tower when I was 16 and that was the best year of my life, my escort dwindled to 3. When I was 17 they finally agreed to let me out into the world of mages and the last night of my confinement 3 Templars slit the throat of my escort and raped and tortured me for a day and a half. My dearest and only friend heard the entire thing. He managed to free himself and was able to get me loose enough for my magic to deal with them. Bodies, charred and ruined surrounded me when they found me. After that night none of the Templars wanted to be near me or if they did they tried to do what the 3 had. For my 18th birthday I was Harrowed, then betrayed and landed in the Grey Wardens. That is the tale of the mage and the Templar. I accept that I need you but I will never ever want you." Neria spins and stomps out of the room leaving Alistair in shock and dusting off the snow. Zevran turns to follow Neria when Alistair stops him. 

"Zevran, it's not nice to eavesdrop." 

"But that's how you learn all the secrets." Zevran leaves to follow Neria. Alistair is shocked by what Neria has told him, she has killed, been sent to the mage prison, tortured, brought back to the tower and raped and tortured more. It explains a lot about her behavior but why didn't Duncan warn him? Why would that all be kept secret? Why push them together? Alistair has no idea if he can ever get Neria to trust him and then it dawns on him. She still sees him as a Templar; she doesn't see him as a person. When she does see him as a person she trusts him. When he is using his abilities though she sees him as a Templar there to hurt or control her. He has a lot of questions for Gregor and Irving if they ever get there. Remembering there is a treaty for the tower he smiles slightly. 

They leave Redcliffe and stop by the blacksmith long enough to see Valena has indeed made it back home and for Neria to give Bella the money she has promised. Owen is nice enough to repair their armor and Bella swears she will name the new Tavern Griffon's Rest. Neria and Alistair have come to an uneasy truce for the moment though Zevran wonders if the Templar is as tired of Neria's emotional roller coaster as he is watching it. She is consistent with all of them except Alistair. Leliana makes small talk with Alistair while Zevran tries to get Sten to talk. Morrigan darts off here and there to gather herbs along with Neria. "Do you want to stop by the Dalish on the way to Denerim?" Zevran asks watching Neria put another elf-root into her pouch. Neria stops and nods. Her hand briefly goes to her stomach and smiles before she twirls away and heads to the forest path. It does not take them long to have the Dalish greet them.


	14. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SMUT- Just assume there is smut in every chapter and your good.
> 
> "Do you want to stop by the Dalish on the way to Denerim?" Zevran asked watching Neria put another elfroot into her pouch. Neria stopped and nodded.

"Stop, the Dalish are camped nearby you will not come any closer." One of them says she is a pretty elf with long blonde hair and beautiful tattoos.

"Da'len, do they travel with you?" A young man asks addressing Zevran. Zevran bows with a flourish and walks up to block Neria from the arrows he knows are trained on them. 

"Alas, my mother is Dalish but I is not raised by your people." The Young man that has spoken tilts his head at the speech. 

"Then why do you come?" 

"We are Grey Wardens and have a treaty that must be honored during times of Blight." Neria says peeking out from behind Zevran. 

"Then you must speak with our Keeper. Please be aware if you make any sudden moves you will be killed." Blondie says and spins on her heel for the rest of the group to follow. Sten, Alistair and Zevran form a wedge for Morrigan and Neria to walk in. Leliana brings up the rear keeping her bow on her back loose just in case. 

Reaching the camp Neria looks around curiously. Being an elf they are a bit more accepting of her but she knows nothing of elven traditions. Blondie led them to the Keeper. "Andaran atish’an outsiders, I bid you welcome. I am Zatharian, keeper for this tribe. Mithras and Hertis, that is all." Both of the other elves leave and Neria looks the Keeper over, he is powerful, old and bitter. Alistair looks at Zatharian and narrows his eyes; Neria knows he can feel the wrongness of the elves magic. 

"So you come to have us honor the treaty? I am sorry to say we cannot right now. Our camp is being harassed and killed by a group of werewolves. Until that is dealt with we cannot help you. Ah this is my first Lanaya." A very pretty brunette comes up to stand near Zatharian. 

"Tell me what is going on." Neria asks and allows her magic to stretch just a bit by turning off the bracelet. It is interesting to watch the reactions of Zatharian and Lanaya. "Anath ara, little Keeper you are welcome here." Lanaya bows and says to Neria.

Neria steps back and Zevran steps forward as Zatharian comes closer to her. He speaks in elven quickly, it is sing song and beautiful but Neria shakes her head she does not understand. "You do not know our language? How is it you are not marked? How is it you are a Grey Warden?" Zatharian's questions are rapid fire and Neria wants to hide. 

"Stop!" Zevran and Alistair both say.

"Step back Zatharian, you do not want to frighten her." Alistair says pulling Neria against him as he puts his shield between Neria and the elves. Alistair doesn't flinch as flames encircle him and Neria tracing over him and her like armor. 

"I meant no harm Little Keeper; it has been a long time since I have seen one of you." Zatharian steps back and his Staff starts to glow. 

"Why do you call me that? I was raised in the Circle Tower I was taken there when I was 3 or 4." Neria stays where she is at, knows Alistair can keep her safe from mages. 

"Do the trees not talk to you? Do you not wish to protect the earth as you walk it? Do you not call Nature's Vengeance on your enemies?" Zatharian asks. 

"Yes but I have no idea how to do that, I found a book on it in the tower but no one to teach such a thing to me." Neria says sadly. 

"I will teach you, you will need to know it." 

"What is the price?" Morrigan asks knowing nothing is ever given freely.

"Take care of the werewolves. Whitherfang is the leader and if it is killed than the curse will be lifted. Bring me it's heart." Zatharian says and Neria tried to remain calm as she feels Lanaya's magic blanket her quietly. Feeling Alistair tighten his grip on her not willing to let her go yet she feels him reach for his abilities and puts a hand on his face to stop him. 

"I wish to speak to the Little Keeper alone." Lanaya speaks and looks at Zatharian as she says this. 

"Alistair stays with me or I do not go." All of them looks at Neria surprised by her choice. Neria is logical, these are mages if it comes to a fight she would need the one person in her group that can nullify anything they throw at her. 

"Fine, Mithras, please get our guests some refreshment." Zatharian says and follows Lanaya over to an Aravel. It is what they live in and they are also called Land Ships. Alistair stands behind her but is edgy and ready to fight at any moment. When they all stop Lanaya steps towards Neria, Alistair stops at the raised hand Neria gives him.

"You are pregnant." Neria looks at Lanaya passively with this admission. She has suspected she is for weeks. "Is he the father?" Lanaya says coldly indicating Alistair. 

"No, the other elf is." Neria suddenly needs to sit down and Alistair looks like he needs a seat too. 

"What do you plan to do?" Lanaya says looking at Neria and smiling. "It will be strong in magic; you are still growing into your power. It will likely seep into the child. Such a child would be a great boon for the Dalish." 

"Does Zevran know?" Alistair finds his voice but isn't sure if that is a good thing or not. 

"No, I haven't told him because I wasn’t sure. If I come back here to have the child will you swear the protection of your clan on this child? Raise it as a child of the clan?" Neria asks desperately. 

“We would be honored Little Keeper." Zatharian bows. 

"After this blight is done, if you survive you would have a place with us Little Keeper. Once you are trained you would need to go to another clan since I have a second but you would be able to take your child with you." Nodding Neria stands back up. 

"Fine let me deal with Whiterfang and I will come back to have the child. I am honored by this gift Keeper, First." 

"You can't be serious about going back into battle Neria." Alistair says as they get closer to the camp their companions has made. 

"You and I are the only two wardens in Ferelden. We have to stop the blight; I won’t sit by the fire and hope you can do this alone. We both know you can't." 

"Well thank you for the vote of confidence!" Alistair is furious and scared. 

Morrigan shakes her head and glares at both of them. "Stop it both of you! I swear if I have to traipse Theades with you both you need to learn to get along! I am about to turn you both into frogs and blast this Blight!" Neria dissolves into a fit of giggles at the thought of her and Alistair as frogs. Neria recovers eventually and motions Zevran over. 

Sauntering over Zevran dips his head to capture Neria's lips and smiles as she melts against him. Deepening the kiss he bunches her hair to get a deeper kiss. Walking her backward he has every intention of getting her to their tent when Neria stops him breaking the kiss and placing a finger over his lips when he would have spoken. "We need to talk Zev and I need a clear head for the discussion."

"Cara, whatever you want to talk about needs to wait until after I have taken that Templar's scent off of you." 

"You do not like to share do you?" Neria tilts her head a little confused. 

"Normally I have no problems with it but you I will not share. Especially with the Chantry boy." Laughing at the description Neria allows Zevran to taker her into the tent. They are all camped together so Neria tries to bite back on her noise level. Zevran smiles and takes her reserve as a personal challenge. "Zevran, oh Zevran!" Neria comes apart and giggles trying to bite down on her bliss. 

"Better, now my warden what did you want to discuss?" He is lying on his back with her pillowed on his chest. 

"I, I, oh this is harder than I thought it would be." Neria sits up and looks around for her clothes. 

Zevran places a hand on her back tracing one of the scars that goes along her spine. "Cara, what is it? You know how I feel about you." 

Neria turns and straddles Zevran tracing one of the tattoos on his chest. "I do, and I love you. I can't do most of this without you. But now we have something or someone else to think about." Zevran looks at her confused. Neria grabs his hand and places it on her slightly distended abdomen. 

Zevran's breath hitches at the thought. "Not possible I thought." Neria tilts her head trying to gauge his emotions. Zevran's face betrays no emotions when he wants it to. His Crow training would never allow the enemy to know if what they say in their final moments affects him. 

"I am pretty sure it happened the first night we were together. I am due around Matrinalis and All Souls Day. It is not impossible for Warden's to have children, just impossible with each other." 

"How, I am happy but speechless." Zevran finally admits. 

"With the blight, I will need a place to stash the child. Zatharian and the Dalish have offered to take the child. I need only have the child near them." Neria says this carefully is trying to figure out her thoughts on this as well. 

"Are you sure?" Zevran is not sure he likes this idea. 

"That I want to be a mother? Yes that I want to be the mother to your child? Absolutely. But I know the Crows will hunt you until they kill you. My survival chances through this blight are slim to none. At least our child will be loved and safe. If it has magic the Dalish can teach it. No Templars." Neria is stronger in her conviction as she says this. 

"Fine but we must be careful with you. All Souls day is 6 months away. We will do what we can and bring you back here when we need to. I am not happy about taking you near werewolves though." Zevran is sitting up now keeping her in his arms. 

"You need me; I can heal and am pretty wicked with flames." Neria says smiling. 

"I know but cara mia, I need you to breathe." Zevran says kissing the corner of her mouth. 

"Then keep me safe." Neria says running hands up and down his chest. 

"Always." Zevran answers kissing her again. Neria and Zevran gets dressed and leave the tent. Neria blushes as the rest of the companions looks at her and Zevran. 

"Let's get a werewolf heart shall we?" Neria quips striding away from the companions towards the forest.

"While you two are having your fun I traded with the merchant and got some elf-root, enough to make lots of poultices and salves. Also he would like something called Iron Bark if we can find some." Leliana says falling into step beside Neria. Neria nods her thanks and inquires how the discussion with Sarel and Arthas went. 

"Sarel is very against humans." Sten says seeming to glower more than usual. 

"Arthas wants us to find his wife if it's possible." Zevran answers putting Neria's hair behind her ear and kissing the tip. Neria shivers and Zevran smiles before falling into step beside her. 

"Zevran a moment." Alistair says catching up to the assassin.

"He knows." Neria answers Zevran's unasked question and convinces herself the passing hurt she sees on Zev's face is her imagination."The First told me when she asked to speak to me alone. She and Zatharian are both mages, I figured my best bet against them would be a Templar." Neria shrugs at the revelation. 

"You are okay with her going into battle?" Alistair asks Zevran in what can only be called a patronizing tone. 

"We need to stop this blight Alistair, she is right you cannot do this on your own. She is more than capable of handling herself and she knows her body better than we do though I have a distinct advantage on you in that department." Zevran smiles as he says this even though the smile promises swift death to the Templar if he pushes his limits. Alistair does not take the bait merely drops back to walk with Sten. 

They are not far into the forest when they are attacked by wolves and werewolves. Neria accepts the circle formation without much protest. Her and Morrigan are in the middle while the other four fighters face the threat and it works for the most part. Alistair is always directly in front of Neria and seems to have a sixth sense about when she is casting cone of cold or fireball and gets out of the way. Morrigan works similarly with Sten and the big man is a fearsome warrior with his huge height and two-hander blade. Leliana and Zevran both seemed to be everywhere on the battle field slicing an opponent here or pinning it with a shot there. Leliana prefers her bow and both Zevran and Alistair are thankful for her when the occasional wolf or werewolf makes it past them to the mages. 

Farther into the forest they come across a grave. "This does not feel right." Alistair says pacing close to the spot and shivering.

"We can break the wards if you want Alistair." Neria glances at the pacing man and wonders if he would make a good king. He is technically the heir but seems so childish at times though she does admire his moral compass. It is not nearly as messed up as the rest of them. 

"Yes, be ready though there will probably be a Revenant." 

"Ugh. I do not like those." Neria says shaking her head. 

"It can't get a hold of you either; last time it did you nearly blew us all away." Zevran says. 

"Up, let's get you two up on that ridge. It should keep you out of range and still give you plenty of room to cast spells to your hearts content." Sten points to a ridge and Leliana goes with Morrigan and Neria up to their spot. Once up there Alistair breaks the wards with a prayer. It is a Revenant, this time it grabs Alistair and he smiles as he smites it. Realizing its mistake the Revenant tries to let go of Alistair only to find itself face to face with him as Alistair bashes it with his shield and cuts it into ribbons with his sword. Neria casts blizzard on a group of archers and freezes them solid sending a chain lightening to shatter them all.

Sten catches a blade across his shoulder and Neria casts heal to keep the flesh in place even as she starts down off the ridge to keep him in range. Revenant taken care of Alistair turns to deal with the rest of the undead and swears as he sees Neria smacking at a skeleton with her staff. Morrigan walks up to the skeleton and grabs It by its neck forcing it to look at her. "You will learn to fear me!" She says as she rips the things head off its shoulders. Dropping the skeleton she looks at Neria to make sure the other mage is okay. Neria nods her head and goes to Zevran to make sure he is okay. 

"Braska, this chest is complicated." 

"Stand back love." Neria says and touches her hand to the lock to freeze and break it. Zevran opens it and whistles. 

"Alistair, this is for you." Lifting out the helm Neria can feel the runes running down the helmet, the enchantment of it. it also seems incomplete. 

"I think it's part of a set." Morrigan says watching as Alistair tries it on. The plume on the back of it seems a bit silly but otherwise it is much better than the helm he is wearing. 

"Let's find the set and then we can put this on me." He says sliding the helm into his pack with reverence. 

Rounding a bend on the trail they are surprised to finally reach the waterfall they has been hearing. Three paths merge at the waterfall and blocking the way to any other path are three werewolves. "An elf, we should kill them, but I have been sent to speak instead. I am Swiftrunner and I am warning you to come no farther into these woods." 

"I am Neria, you can speak can you tell me about this curse?"

"NO! Leave elf before we rip you apart!" Another of the wolves behind Swiftrunner yells looking like he will charge them.

"No! Why are you here elf?" 

"To end the curse, the Dalish want me to bring them Whiterfang heart but if you can speak maybe you can tell me if there is another way to end this curse?" 

"Enough talking!" This time the wolf behind Swiftrunner does attack. He bounces off Alistair's shield as he raises it in front of Neria who drops back to cast some flames. Morrigan whacks   
the offending werewolf on the head with her staff knocking the thing out. 

"Now, you were saying?" Morrigan prompts Swiftrunner earning a smile from the rest of the companions. 

"The only way for this curse to end is for all the Dalish to die elf. Come no farther into these woods, it will protect itself." Swiftrunner gathers up his fallen comrade and leaves. 

"Dark-spawn, close." Alistair says unsheathing his sword and looking at Neria. Neria steps back and into the small river that runs near the waterfall. 

"Neria?" Smiling at Zevran she points in which direction the dark-spawn are coming. "Trust me." Zevran nods and takes a position to her right while Alistair and the others fan out leaving her an unobstructed view of the Ogre and glen-locks headed to them. Neria splays her hands out and the river starts to roar and run faster, as the Ogre comes close Neria brings her hands together and the Ogre and the others are covered in water. Everywhere the water touches the monsters scream and Leliana realizes Neria has super-heated the water, covering them in boiling water. The stench is horrible, Neria gags a bit and then changes tactics wrapping the water around her arm and breathing cold air on it in a cone of cold that freeze the screaming monsters solid. It is a macabre scene with the Ogre roaring in pain and the four glen-locks in various poses of trying to flee or fight.

"Have at em boys." Morrigan smiles as Sten, Alistair and Zevran set to breaking the monsters apart. 

Neria grasps Leliana's hand to get out of the water as the men finish destroying the ice sculpture dark-spawn Alistair walks up to her and Neria clasps his hand as he casts cleanse helping her let go of the rest of the magic buildup. Neria notices Alistair's eyes widen a little and his breathing goes shallow and is shocked to realize hers is too. Shaking her head Neria steps away from Alistair into the arms of Zevran kissing him soundly. Alistair turns away and sees Morrigan watching him. 

They find an Iron-bark tree down and Neria is happy to pick some sticks up when she finds herself in a root cage. "What the Maker?" she cast a force field to keep from being crushed as Alistair and Sten set their blades against a giant tree that is trashing its branches around trying to crush them. "Walking trees? Really? I am so never going back in the woods!" Neria is frantic to get out of her cage but can't figure out how. Finally the rest of her companions have made enough kindling of the tree for it to die and still Neria is trapped. "Ugh fine!"   
"NO! Try and talk to it Neria, get the roots to let you go." Leliana says touching the roots reverently. 

"That's not how this works Leliana. I can't just suddenly start talking to trees. I didn’t even get to feel grass that I remember until I was 12 and that is because I was leaving the tower." Neria says even as she sits down on the ground and tries to find her center. "Blue skies and fluffy clouds" Neria says as she looks at Alistair and smiles. 

"I much prefer a dark night and a long romp with the animals but whatever you like." Morrigan says circling the cage and running a hand over it. Neria gasps as she feels the roots react to Morrigan's entropic touch. Stroking the tree where Morrigan has touched it she wants to heal it. However she knows she can't, she is lacking the knowledge but she knows the trees spoke to her. Knows they would accept her if she can just lean what they want to say. She asks the roots to let her go, begged them but while she can feel the trees they aren't talking to her. Running a hand up and down enough of the branches to ice them over she breaks out of the root cage. She feels the pain from the act but still nothing on the talking to her part. 

Entering a clearing there is a tree stump and what looks like a camp set up. She approaches the stump and sees something shiny inside it. Moving to grab it Zevran stops her and shakes his head. "Here, allow me." 

"Go ahead show off." Neria crosses her arms and steps back. Zevran leans down to examine the hole "Now when is the last time I had my hand in a tight dark hole?" As he says this he winks and leers at Neria who blushes and giggles. "Ah there we go." Zevran brings an acorn out of the hole and hands it to Neria. Putting it in her pack Neria feels the shift in magic even as Alistair is pushing her and Morrigan behind him. 

Appearing is a very short man, probably a dwarf who is none too happy about the theft. "Robbers you are, you will pay for that." Two rage demons comes up from the ground and the hermit freezes Zevran where he stood. Alistair smited the Hermit and squared off against one of the demons while Sten takes the other one. Morrigan is already casting her own sleep/horror combo against the mage while Neria thaws Zevran. 

Shivering a bit Zevran recovers enough to slip his dagger across the throat of the hermit and help Alistair with the rage demon. Done Zevran loots the corpse of the hermit and hands the staff to Morrigan. It is black and has three dragons on it. 

"Better than the one I have but not the quality you have Neria, do you mind?" Morrigan says running her hands over it seeing if it will accept her. 

"Not at all, I adore mine." Morrigan smiles as the staff accepts her and passes over one of the rings to Neria Zevran has handed her. 

"Here, this one is better than the one you have on your right hand. Sten this one should fit you and it amplifies healing received." Neria and Sten take the rings and passed the ones they   
took off back to Morrigan. Morrigan slips Neria's on her finger and hands Sten's old one to Alistair which fit on his thumb. It has been a pinky ring for the larger man. 

Through another part of the forest they come across another grave and after defeating the Revenant on that one picked up the greaves for the set Alistair has in his pack. They also come across a rather large Oak Tree that is crying. 

"What manner of beast be thee that comes to stand before this Elder Tree?" 

"You’re not going to attack me are you? Can't you tell I am an elf?" Neria says looking way up at the tree. 

"Ah yes I remember thee, long ago the elves roamed free, their numbers few and passing fast until one eve we saw their last. Allow me to welcome thee; I am called the Grand Oak or sometimes the Elder Tree. And unless thou thinkest it far too soon, I would ask of thee a boon?" 

"What is this boon of which you ask? I am sure I will be up to the task." Neria hears Leliana start to chuckle and merely smiles at the bard. Anyone would be better than her at this but then she thinks of Sten trying this and has to stifle a giggle of her own. 

"I have but one desire, to solve a matter very dire. As I slept one early morn a thief did come and steal my acorn." 

"An acorn?" Alistair asks smiling beside himself. 

"All I have is my being, my seed. Without it I am alone indeed. I cannot go and seek it out; yet I shall die if left without." 

"Okay and what is in it for us?" Morrigan says tired of always doing everyone favors. 

"My bark has a bit of magic see, I gift of it I can give to thee." 

"I'd rather your help me find Whiterfang." Neria says shaking her head. 

"In the center of the forest the weres do dwell; or so the tale my fellows tell. But they cannot be followed there; the forest doth protect the weres." 

"why would it do that?" Alistair asks. 

“Perhaps the weres use magic to command the trees? All I know is they are moving as they please." 

"What happened to make the trees to angry?" Leliana asks. 

"A great war perhaps, I cannot tell. I was not here when it befell. But many deaths here, all the same, and with the deaths the spirits came. The spirits entered the corpse and tree and   
most have gone mad as you can see. The forest has a spirit of its own, from back when its first seeds were sown. Perhaps she died of grief that day, or perhaps she simply went away. Or perhaps the weres are to blame, for the day she left is the day they came." 

"How would your bark help us get to the werewolves?" Leliana asks trying to get the group back on path. 

"The forest would see thee as a tree, and so nor harm would come to thee." 

"I have your acorn here." Neria says and hands the acorn to the tree. 

"My joy soars to new heights indeed! I am reunited with my seed! As I promised, here it be. I hope it’s magic pleases thee. Keep this branch of mine with thee, and pass throughout the   
forest free. I wish thee well, my mortal friend. Thou brought my sadness to an end. May the sunlight find you, they days be long, they winters kind, and they roots be strong." The tree   
drops a piece of its branch on Neria who catches it and put it in her pack. 

"Let’s get this done." Neria says rounding another corner. An eerie howl breaks through the forest and sends fear and sympathy up Neria's spine. As the howl dies down a group of werewolves come to attack them. Neria steps back behind Zevran, Sten and Alistair pulling Morrigan and Leliana with her. Spells are spun and blades flashed out. Soon the floor is littered with more dead werewolves and they push forward. There is a werewolf standing near a tree and she is in great pain. Neria runs to her but is caught by Alistair who places her firmly within reach of Zevran. 

"Ah, Arthas I am so sorry! I have failed you." 

"Arthas? He is your husband?" Zevran asks keeping a firm hand on Neria who still wants to approach the wolf. 

"Yes, this pain please end it." 

"Your husband says he loved you, missed you. We can take you back to the camp." Leliana offers. 

"No, please end it. Take my scarf and tell him I loved him." 

Alistair nods and kills the wolf. Taking the scarf from her neck he puts it in his pack to give to Arthas when they get back. "Maker provide her with the peace she seeks, Andraste guide her husband to the peace he will need in these trying times." Alistair says the words clearly and both he and Leliana make the sign of the Maker. A barrier stretches in front of them and Neria keeps a firm hand on Zevran and everyone hangs onto each other as they walk through it. Emerging on the other side Neria is surprised to be hanging onto Alistair. None of her other companions are there.

"Leliana!" Alistair called out to the mist and heard nothing. 

"Do we try again?" Neria asks looking at Alistair.

"We might have to. Though I have an idea." Pulling Neria against his chest and spinning her in the process she finds herself looking out past Alistair's arm as he holds his shield in front of her. 

"Hold that branch in front of you, let's get into the mist and I can cast cleanse." 

"I won't be able to cast." 

"Hence why you are where you are, if we are set against by werewolves I don't want them near you." 

"I am letting the Dalish have the child, Zevran and I agree our chances of being parents are slim to none." Neria says suddenly. 

"When?" Alistair wants her to look at him and doesn't give in to the urge.

"Around All Souls, we will need to go back to the Dalish or they won't accept the child." Neria says hands on Alistair's arm that holds the shield and her. 

"I will make sure we get there, and I think you would make an excellent mother." Alistair tries to not be jealous of his arm that has Neria's hands on it and fails. 

"You will make a great king." Neria feels Alistair shift at that turning to look up and him and stop him from denying it. Hunger raw and stark is stamped on his face even as Neria touches his neck to let the ice on her fingers gain purchase. "No, Alistair stop. Do not think of me like that, it’s the magic talking and we both know you can fix that." Neria moves forward and Alistair walks with her. When they are surrounded by the mists Alistair cast cleanse as Neria brandishes the branch in front of her. It dissipates and Neria looks for Zevran and knows the assassin is behind Alistair his blades drawn. 

"Let her go Templar." Neria steps out from behind the shield and traces a finger from Zevran's outstretched blade up his shoulder and along his neck to the other arm. Pushing slightly against him Zevran shifts and catches her in his arms burying his face in her neck and smiling. "Ugh, you smell like him again." Neria rolls her eyes and smiles kissing Zevran lightly. They walk towards the ruins and sees another grave. Alistair brakes the wards and is set upon by skeletons. Neria sees the mage but doesn't have time to cast the warning before throwing herself in front of Zevran even as he cries out to stop. Fire crashes into Neria and she laughs as she sits up from where she has fallen. Twisting her finger she shoots a winters grasp at the mage right as Morrigan's lightning hits it shattering it. Standing up Neria dodges one arrow and lets her flames lick up and down her thankful her link to the fade is coming back. it is twisted though, very strong and wrong. Looking down she sees she is standing on the grave. Knowing the Revenant is probably behind her she is surprised when it grabs her arm and pulls her close to it. Wrapping itself around her like a leech she feels her magic being pulled and herself screaming. 

"Neria!" Zevran is running to her and knows Alistair is behind him. 

"Can you blow it up?" Alistair asks Morrigan who shakes her head no. 

"Not without risking her. Can you smite it?" 

"She won't have access to her magic if I do that." 

"Neither will it, do it Alistair, easier to ask forgiveness than permission." Leliana says trying to see an opening between the Revenant and Neria. 

"If she shatters me, make sure my shield makes it back to Ostregar." Alistair says to Leliana as he smites the Revenant and Neria with it then running to knock the thing away from her.   
The Revenant is slightly dazed by the smite but not nearly incapacitated enough for it to let go of Neria. It has sucked her into its body partially with its rib cage over her body and her head sitting under its chin. Alistair swears as he realizes he won't be able to decapitate it and has to be extremely careful about grabbing it. Sten sheathes his sword and runs over to the Revenant he hits it with his fist and then literally pulls the head off by grabbing the neck of it and pulling. It lies twitching even as Sten's face goes pale with the pain of handling the thing. Morrigan casts heal on Sten even as Leliana sprints over with bandages. Alistair sheathes his blade and keeps Zevran from touching it. "Don’t Zev, I have to do this. You cannot touch it and hope to live." 

"It holds her prisoner." 

"I know but you killing yourself is not going to make her any happier." it takes almost all of Alistair's strength to get her loose from the Revenant and he knows when she does wake up things are going to explode, again. Morrigan cast heal on Neria and Alistair waiting for her to start waking up before hitting the rune on her bracelet to trying and contain the explosion. Neria's eyes open and then she is fighting convinced she is still in the Revenant.

"Owe, Owe Owe!" She says as she hits Alistair's armor 

"Neria, stop! You are going to hurt yourself on my armor." Alistair shakes her slightly. 

"Let me go Templar, let go!" Neria is frantically trying to get loose. 

"NO! Enough of this you little mage. It's Alistair; It's always me when you want to blow stuff up. You'd think you'd be used to waking up in my arms and stop fighting so much." Neria wraps magic around her fist and connects it with Alistair's chest and hears him groan even as she is up her staff in her hand and flames everywhere. 

"Maker I think she means it this time. Morrigan make her sleep." Leliana says debating running into the fray. 

"I'd rather let her try and kill him. We should see just what his limits are, she's got only half of what she normally does in her reserve and he's at full strength." Morrigan says leaning on her staff. 

"How dare you say something like that to me!" Neria is spiting mad and with every word she flings minor flares at Alistair which he avoids with his shield. He has not drawn his sword and Zevran relaxes a little. 

"I meant it literally Neria, since I have known you I have been singed, frostbitten and electrocuted on a regular basis. However when you are hurt it's me who gets the honors of sitting next to you because I am the only one who can stop you from destroying the world and hurting the rest of us. I will always stand in your way." Alistair reasons with her. 

"For which I am thankful because I know I need someone to do that. But this little tango we do where you flirt and I turn you down has to stop. I am not interested and it's not fair to you or me." Neria is exasperated. 

"I cannot help how I feel about you Neria." Alistair has caught her chin in his hand and forced her to look up at him. 

"Try." Is the word from Zevran as he walks towards them. Alistair releases her and looks at Zevran judging the assassin to see if he needs to draw his weapon. Neria blows the chest apart by the grave distracting the men and Zevran grabs the bracers that match the other pieces in Alistair's pack. Alistair takes them quietly and they head into the ruins. 

"The scouts are right; the forest has betrayed us, retreat.” One of the werewolves says and the group of six retreat before the companions. Walking forward the group encounters no resistance at all through most of the great hall. Finding a stairwell that leads down to another level Sten tries it and says it is locked. Neria debates blowing the door up but decides against it. Retracing back to the main hall they go down the steps and Neria feels her body being covered in a spider web. Setting fire to it she starts throwing fire everywhere and only stops when it is all quiet. 

"Are you done?" Morrigan asks getting off of the floor where her and the others have taken shelter. 

"I HATE spiders!" Neria says shivering all over. 

"Okay good to know since we haven’t actually ran into any spiders yet." Zevran says chuckling. 

When they do run into spiders Neria is hysterical to the point Alistair grabs her and casts cleanse on her. He also hits her bracelet and sets her behind him. "Enough!" He growls and Neria subsides finally. Looting the giant spiders Neria has to be lifted past them which sets Zevran smiling again as he carries her over the bodies. They also meet some skeletons which are easily dealt with. Finally they come to a huge room with a spring and an alter in it. Neria approaches the alter and looks at the runes. She doesn't understand them but Leliana does. Kneeling before the alter she prays, approaching the pool she sees the jug and fills it. walking over to the alter she places the jug on the alter and again she knelt and prays. Taking a small sip from the jug she prays again. Taking the jug she pours the water back into the pool and the jug shatters in her hands but the door behind them opens. Inside there are skeletons and an altar. Dealing with the skeletons they approach the alter and are greeted with a very angry Ash Wraith. Killing it Alistair retrieves the breastplate of the armor. It is the final piece and Leliana helps buckle him into his new armor. 

"Oh this is a lot heavier than the other set." 

"Yes but it is also a lot better." Morrigan says running her hands over the armor and reading the runes. "it's calls Juggernaut, fitting name really considering the runes on it." Morrigan concludes the reading and smiles slightly at the Templar. 

At the next chamber they find a pool that isn’t what it seems. "This leads to the next level." Neria says dropping a rock through it and hearing the clatter on the next level. 

"I will go first." Sten says and drops down. Alistair drops next and then Leliana. Sten catches the bard which earns him a kiss that makes him grunt. Morrigan drops next and Sten catches her as well since Alistair doesn't even move to try and catch the witch. Neria comes down and Alistair does catch her handing her off to Zevran when the assassin drops down lightly. Suddenly a werewolf rears up behind Sten and Neria cast a fast flare that sends the wolf spinning away. There are werewolves everywhere and Alistair bashes one wolf while taking the head of another. Zevran stabs his target a few times while Neria sends lightning arcing through a few of the others. Eventually the stream of wolves slows down to a trickle and then stops. Neria heals and bandages as she can. Sitting down hard on the ground she sucks on a lyrium potion as Morrigan does the same. 

Next room Zevran and Leliana stop the group and gets rid of the traps. As the last trap is sprung a wolf sprigs on Leliana and Zevran slit its throat before it can bite her. Alistair blocks another wolf from getting Zevran and they fight against another large group. As they walk into a large room there are three werewolves but they do not attack. "Stop, enough. Our lady wishes to speak to you." 

“Now she wishes to speak after she realizes we are harder to kill than she thought?" Leliana is angry and Neria understands. 

"She doesn't want any more of us to die." 

"Fine take us to this lady, be warned if this is a trap I will have no mercy for any of you." Neria says wrapping herself in a cloak of flame and smiling as the wolf's eyes widen a bit. They follow this group into what is at one point a throne room from the look of the raised dais at the end. Walking in Neria is surprised by just how many wolves are there. As they approach Swiftrunner and a few others let out a menacing growl and howl. 

When she comes out from behind the wolves Neria is surprised to see a humanoid, she is naked though her long black hair covers her breasts well enough. Her skin is green and long vines twists up from her feet to cover her lower half and spirals out to make hands. She does not seem to be afraid of the howling and snarling wolves as she walks up to Swiftrunner and taping him twice he and the other wolves bow to her. "I bid you welcome mortal I am the lady of the forest." Her voice is light, like the wind through the woods though she has no problem being heard. 

"Thank you, I am glad we have a chance to talk." Neria says staying close to the group but staying in front. 

"Do not listen to them my lady, they will betray you." Swiftrunner is frantic to protect this woman. 

"Hush Swiftrunner, your urge for battle has only seen the death of the very ones you are trying to protect. Is that what you want?" 

"No my lady, anything but that." 

"Then the time has come to speak with this outsider, to set our rage aside. I apologize on Swiftrunner’s behalf, he struggles with his nature." 

"As do we all, Lady." Neria says nodding. 

"Truer words are never spoken but few can claim as these creatures for their very nature is a curse forced upon them. No doubt you have questions mortal. There are things that Zatharian hasn't told you." 

"Oh? Do tell." Zevran says keeping his hands on his weapons. 

"It is Zatharian himself who created the curse that these creatures suffer from. The same curse that Zatharian's own people suffer from now. Centuries ago when the Dalish first came to   
this land a tribe of humans lived close to this forest. They sought to drive the Dalish away, Zatharian is a young man then and has a son and daughter he loved greatly and while out hunting the human tribe captured them both." 

"The boy they tortured and killed, the girl they raped and left for dead. The Dalish found her but she later found out she is with child. She killed herself" Swiftrunner says his voice gravelly and full of regret. 

"So Zatharian curse them." Neria says numbly trying to stay calm as Swiftrunner starts moving towards the group. 

“Zatharian comes to this ruin and summoned a terrible spirit and bound it to the body of a great wolf. SO Whiterfang came to be. Whiterfang hunted the humans of the tribe and many were bitten and killed but others were cursed by his blood. They became twisted and savage creatures." 

"Twisted and savage as Whiterfang himself is. The lady chimes into Swiftrunner's speech. 

"They were driven into the forest, when the human tribe left for good the cursed breathern remained, pitiful and mindless animals." 

"Until I found you my lady. You gave me peace." Swiftrunner returns to her side and bows again. 

"I showed Swiftrunner that there is another side to him, I soothed his rage and in time his humanity emerged and he brought others to me." 

"Then why did you ambush the Dalish? For Revenge?" Neria asks absently running a finger up and down Zevran's arm her flames dancing over him in flashes. 

"In part, we seek to end the curse. The crimes committed against Zatharian's children are grave but they were committed centuries ago by those who are long dead. Word is sent to   
Zatharian every time his land ships pass this way and he ignores us. We will no longer be denied." 

"We spread the curse to his people so he must end the curse to save them." Swiftrunner says standing again. 

"Please mortal you must go to him, bring him here, and let him see these creatures hear their plight. Surely he will agree to end this curse. “

“What makes you think Zatharian will agree to come alone?" Morrigan asks crossing her arms unimpressed. 

"If Zatharian comes I will summon Whiterfang, I possess that power. If he does not I can make sure Whitherfang is never found. Tell Zatharian this, if he does not come, if he does not break the curse he will never find Whiterfang and his people will never be cured. “

“Very well, I will bring Zatharian” Neria says sighing.

"Then we shall wait here, through the door to the right of me leads to the top of the ruins. Come back quickly." Lady says and Neria nods.

The companions went through the door and up to the top of the ruins. Zatharian is examining one of the wolf bodies and Neria is very tempted to blast him. "Control Neria hang in there." Alistair says as he feels the surge in magic. 

"And here you are, already." 

"Somehow I knew you would be here." Neria says walking up to the Keeper. 

"Did you? Well aren't you the intuitive one. I has no idea how things would go once you reached the ruins so I decided to come myself. “

“You wanted to make sure we got the heart." Leliana says exploiting the weakness in Zatharian's speech. 

"Yes yes there will be plenty of time for that, did you get the heart?" 

"no we did not." Neria says still fighting to control her temper. 

"You didn’t may I ask then why you are leaving the ruin?" 

"We were coming to get you; the Lady of the Forest wishes an audience and won’t summon Whiterfang unless you come." 

"Interesting name, you do realize she is Whiterfang." 

"Figured that out thanks." Neria says crossing her arms. 

"She is the powerful spirit from this forest that I summoned long ago and bound in the body of wolf. her nature is that of the forest itself. beautiful and terrible, serene and savage. She is   
both the Lady and Whiterfang two sides of the same being. The curse first came from her as those she savaged took on her nature and became mindless beasts." 

"The curse came first from you." Leliana accuses not being fooled. 

"They attacked my clan and they are the same savages now that they have ever been, they deserve to be wiped out not defended. Come I will accompany you back to the ruin and I will   
speak to the spirit and force her into Whiterfang once more he can then be slain and the heart taken." 

"I assure you they have regained their minds, they are no longer as you remember." Neria says shaking her head no. 

"Even so they are the same worthless creatures that their ancestors were they deserve to be wiped out. This is not your battle Grey Warden, let us just take the heart and be done with it." 

"Won't you at least consider talking to them?" Leliana tries again, anything to get this man to come to reason. Neria is proud of her. 

"Why? You claim they have regains their minds but they are still savage beasts. Their nature is unchanged; all they want is revenge or a release I will not give them. No let us take the   
heart and end it." 

"Do you still have that much hatred after all of this time?" Alistair asks and Neria wonders if he meant that for her as well. 

"You were not there; you did not see what they did to my son, to my daughter and so many others. You are not Dalish, how can you know how we has to struggle to stay safe. How can I let their crimes go unanswered?" 

"But it’s your own people suffering now. Doesn't that count?" Alistair asks and Neria hopes for a resolution soon. 

"I am sworn to protect and help my people. I will not lift a finger to help the savages that live with a curse they deserve. " 

"You can at least meet with them that is all I propose." Neria says sighing loudly.

"And what if it is revenge they want and not talk; will you safeguard me from harm?" 

"We will unless you attack first." Alistair agrees.

"I fail to see the purpose of this, but it has been many centuries, let us see what the spirit has to say." Zatharian leads them back down the steps they has just left and Neria sighs in frustration. Once back down there all the wolves are snapping and snarling again and Zevran keeps Neria behind Alistair with him on the other side of her forcing her in the middle. 

"Expecting a fight love?" 

"Always my tempestuous mage." Zevran says glancing at the flames dancing all over her. 

"Ah spirit, nice to see you again." 

"She is Lady of the Forest and you will address her properly." Swiftrunner snarls at Zatharian 

"So you have taken a name and given names to all of your pets?" 

"It is you who gave me a name Zatharian, and the names they take are their own. They follow me because I help them to find who they are." 

"Who they are has not changed whom their ancestors are which are wild savages, worthless dogs, their twisted shape only mirrors their monstrous hearts." 

"He will not help us lady, it is as I warned you. He is not here to talk." 

"No I am here to talk though I see little point in it; we all know where this will lead. Your nature compels it as does mine." 

"It does not have to be that way Zatharian, there is room in your heart for compassion, surely your retribution is spent." 

"My retribution is eternal spirit, as is my pain, this is justice no more." 

"Are you certain your pain is the only reason you will not lift this curse? Have you told the mortal how it is created?" 

"He told us he summoned you and bound you to a wolf." Neria says quietly. 

"And so he did, Whiterfang and I are bound into one being. But such magic cannot be accomplished without Zatharian's own blood. Your people believe they have found the secret back to   
their immortal lives but we both know that is not true. So long as you survive so too does the curse. “

“No that is not how it is." Zatharian denies stepping back away from the group and the wolves. 

"So would Zatharian's death end the curse?" Leliana asks tentatively. 

"No. The curse has a life of its own though Zatharian's life does depend on it."

"Then we kill him!" Swiftrunner offers. Neria is tempted. 

"Don’t be an idiot only I know how the ritual ends." 

"Then we must kill them all." Swiftrunner says and Neria loosens her shoulders and takes her staff off her back. 

"See they turn on you just as quickly as me. End this now!"

"You'll end this curse if I have to force you myself." Neria snarls.

"We're standing for what is right." Alistair says releasing his shield and sword from his back. 

"Then you die with them" Zatharian says and cast paralyze on most of the wolves. Sylvans and wraiths come to help Zatharian as Alistair cast cleanse on the wolves so they can help. Done with that he blocks the Sylvan that is trying to get Neria in its roots. Neria loses a cone of cold on Zatharian and follows it up with lightning. Zatharian shrugs off the cold and smiles at the   
lightning. "Okay Morrigan, you are up. He's the same spell set as me which means I have nothing but healing." 

"Foolish primal mage, when will you learn to master the dead like I have?" Morrigan says casting paralyze of her own on Zatharian and then a sleep and horror. As the mage writhes at her feet Morrigan slings a few more spells to get rid of the rest of the opposition and smiles as Zathrain gives up. 

"No, no more I cannot defeat you." 

"Finish it, kill him now!" Swiftrunner demands. 

"No don’t kill him! Lady please stop him!" Leliana cries out Sten's hand on her arm keeping her from jumping in front of Zatharian 

"No Swiftrunner stop, we will not kill him. If there is no room for mercy in our hearts how can we expect mercy in his?" 

"I cannot do as you ask spirit. I am too old to know mercy. All I see are the faces of my children of my clan and I want revenge." 

"Would you let your clan die? For this?" Neria demands her flames still not douses. 

"Perhaps I have lived too long, this hatred in me like an old root that has consumed my soul. What of you spirit, you are bound to the curse just as much as I am. Do you not fear your   
end?" 

"You are my maker Zatharian, I have felt fear, hope, happiness and pain but above it all I wish nothing but an end. I beg you maker put an end to me. we beg you show mercy." 

"You shame me spirit, Yes I will end the curse. Let us do this together." Zatharian walks towards the Lady and as they embrace cleanse shoots out from their bodies to wash over the   
wolves and turns them into humans and Dalish alike. Leliana is sniffling silently at the beauty of it while Neria finally let her flames wink out. 

"It’s over." One of the humans says. 

"Where will you go?" Alistair asks truly curious. 

"Far away from these woods." 

"Go north, do not go south." Neria says remembering the dark-spawn Nodding they head out the door and the rest of the group follows them. Dalish take them back to the camp and are   
eagerly greeted by their loved ones. Alistair goes to talk to Arthas while Neria hands the bark over to Vartheil the merchant. Lanaya greets the group shortly and smiles as she is the new   
Keeper. "I have no idea how to lead these people, it has always been Zatharian" Lanaya confesses to Neria. 

"Just don't let hate guide you." Leliana says smiling at the elf. 

"Rest, you all look worn out." Lanaya says and the group nods and set up their camp a little ways from the Dalish. 

"If you wish to bathe you may do so at the falls at the back of the camp." Mithras says showing them to the spot. 

Neria walks over to the various rocks and boulders that are submerged in the water and pressing her palm against them she heats them a little. "This should make the water a little more bearable but if you want to sit on the rocks they won't burn you either." She tells the group as she gets something to eat. Alistair follows her to get some food as well. 

"Wardens are bottomless pits usually, there is plenty so don’t be shy." Sarell says without much of the sting he has when they first arrives. Sarell is the lore keeper of the clan and keeps   
asking and answering Neria's questions about the clan and about herself. Alistair realizes with a start it is so she would be recorded and the stories would be told to her child. When Sarell asks to feel the babe Neria nods as Zevran joins them reclining behind Neria so she uses him as a chair. Sarell asks questions of Zevran as well though he does not answer as readily as Neria has. Both have kept huge chunks of their life out of the tales. Sarell senses this and instead moves to ask Alistair. Alistair answers the questions though is relived when Leliana shows up to answer questions fluidly and smiles as the bard braids certain parts of her hair. 

Neria and Zevran leave to enjoy a bath and each other. As they draw closer to the pool they can hear the noises of lovemaking and both dash behind a tree. Sten has Morrigan against one of the submerged boulder and is thrusting in and out of her whose hair is tangled over them both a black curtain against all that pale skin. Morrigan's hands are stroking Sten's shoulders as he braces with one hand and holds her up with the other. It is very much a turn on to watch Sten who is very big everywhere. Neria feels her nipples push against her robes and smiles as Zevran slides a finger under her skirt to graze that little bud that wants attention. Neria reaches behind her to free Zevran even as he pushes her against the tree using the bark of the tree to sensitize her more. Sten turns Morrigan over and is taking her from behind as she pushes back against him driving him deeper and deeper. 

"Cara, I have to have you, you smell so good when you are aroused." Zevran whispers even as he pulls her panties down and thrust inside. Putting a hand over her mouth to keep from crying out in joy Neria focuses on Sten and Morrigan matching their pace and knows as they become frantic for release Zevran is as well. Zevran pulls her down to the grass though, throwing a cloak down right before he is on her again. Pushing her knees to her chest both of them moan with the angle. Zevran pushes her farther and kisses her then smiling as she wraps her legs around him and massages his ears bouncing him from close to release to release with her. "Cara, you are going to be the death of me." Zevran whispers even as he blankets her. Sten and Morrigan walk past moments later which almost has them in a fit of giggles. 

"Enjoy the show?" Morrigan says glancing back where Zev and Neria are hiding. 

"Very much so, you are welcome to watch us for inspiration if you like." Zevran says sitting up though keeping Neria hidden. Morrigan smiles at the thought and leaves catching up to Sten shortly. 

"Is it a problem that they know?" he asks not daring to touch Morrigan unless she wants him to. 

"No, they offered us a show." That stops him cold and he looks at Morrigan in question. 

"Oh do not be so surprised, that elf parades around like he is the greatest gift to sex. I assure you I am not interested. You are the only one I would take to bed in this group." Morrigan   
reaches out to run a finger from elbow to shoulder smiling as the huge man trembles slightly at her touch. 

"Only you my witch, only you." Sten is kissing her before she knows it and backs up against a tree pulling her with him. Her heart skips a beat and heat pools low. They are too close to the   
camp though and both know it. Biting Sten's lip in retaliation Morrigan spins away from him to rejoin the others and get some food. Sten recites passages of the Qun to calm himself enough to walk without the huge ache in his pants. 

Zevran and Neria rejoin the group a little later and Neria gets more food. "With the little one and the taint you are never going to be full." Alistair says around a mouthful of stew. 

"Little one?" Leliana looks around wondering what Alistair can be talking about, and then it dawns on her. 

"Really?" she hugs Neria in happiness and Neria returns the hug smiling at her friend. 

"Congratulations", Sten says looking at Zevran. Neria nods though shoots a look at Alistair that promises retribution. Alistair mouths sorry though she knows he isn't. He is locking her tighter into her box. She needs to stop this but has no idea how.

"Alistair, when we are in Redcliffe I found this. I didn’t know what it is until you told me." Neria hands the locket to Alistair. She has found it in the study along with a book on Orlesia; she has taken both of them. 

"Where did you find this?" Alistair asks looking at the locket knowing it is his mothers. 

"In the Arl's study along with a book. Not sure why I grabbed the locket other than it is pretty.” Neria frowns as she thinks about what would possess her to pilfer jewelry. 

"You remember me speaking about it, thank you." Alistair hangs the locket on his neck and puts it under his tunic. Getting up he moves to his tent and Neria is going to hers when Vartheil approaches her with a wrapped bundle. 

"Little Keeper? I have a present for you and your Latholen." Neria unwraps the bundle and smiles at the staff that glows under her hands. Zevran's bundle is a set of armor far better than what he is wearing now. They have also taken his boots and gloves and makes them better. 

"Ma serannas Vartheil." Zevran says smoothly. Neria smiles at that, Zevran's ear for language is amazing. Vartheil bows and leaves. 

Morning has Neria groaning as Lanaya raps on the tent flap just before dawn. Shaking her head she comes out of the tent and glares at the Keeper. "Training, let’s go." Neria nods and follows the elf out of the camp and smiles as she knows Zevran is close. 

"There is no reason for your Latholen to follow us." Lanaya is a little miffed at the distrust this group is showing. 

"What does that mean?" Neria asks catching up to the elf's long legged strides. 

"Love." 

"Oh." 

"Is he not your Love?" 

"Yes, he is and I am his. It's taken us a while to get there but I wouldn't be able to do anything without him." 

"There will come a day when you might have to choose." Lanaya says startling them both. 

"I will cross that path when it presents itself." Is the only reply Neria can make. Arriving where they need to Lanaya breathes deeply and calls up roots to show themselves. 

"Part of being a Keeper is keeping the forests healthy. It's knowing what the forest needs and being able to help it let go of the diseased parts. See this blight on the root?" 

"Yes, it is making the tree upset." 

"You can burn it off, cut it off or leave it. each action has a consequence." 

Neria chose flame and grasps the root right where the blight is. "Ack! Oh I am so sorry!" Neria feels the burn as if she is burning herself. Sending healing into the tree. 

"Everything is connected and as a Keeper you are connected to all of it as well. You feel what they feel; some Keepers are so connected they cannot function in any capacity except as healer of the trees. This is not the case with you. You can feel them but they aren't telling you what they need are they?" 

"No, I can feel their pain but nothing else. I can't feel their happiness after I heal them or their joy at seeing me." Neria frowns. 

"I wonder if it might be your child that is actually the Keeper. With it so young you would feel some of what it feels but not all." 

"I don't know I never even knew the feel of grass until I was 12 and I don't remember the trees speaking to me as I traveled through them on the way to Aeonar." Neria shakes her head in frustration. 

"In the meantime I can still teach you some of the spells we use and some of the lore." 

Neria is exhausted; she now knows four more spells all of which use the earth and a small part of the history she is supposed to memorize. Lanaya told her she would not learn the written language until she is accepted as a Keeper. Zevran has to help her back to their camp that night and everyone's hair is standing on end with the amount of magic Neria has summoned and the buildup. When Zevran tries to help her to the tent Alistair scoops her up and sits in front of the fire with her casting cleanse and hitting her bracelet. 

"Can she cast with the bracelet turned on?" Leliana asks noticing the faint blue glow. 

"Yes but it's harder. It takes her down to about half of her reserves. When I first met her she couldn't cast at all with it turned on. Now she can but not as powerful or as many." Morrigan answers reaching out to move a curl off Neria's forehead. 

"What is it made of?" Leliana asks.

"Mage Metal, this one has a built in cleanse spell that is actually worked into the metal by a Templar. So long as the Templar lives it works. Otherwise it would just bind her magic a little." Alistair answers smiling as Neria snuggles against him. 

"Can she live without needing a Templar all the time?" Zevran asks grabbing the outstretched hand Neria holds out. 

"If her magic settles and she learns control yes, or you bind her in enough Mage Metal." Alistair shifts Neria a bit easing her off his increasing erection.

"Most mages get their allotment of magic and mana during puberty. Very few go past that stage of life not settled. Neria's hasn’t settled and she's just gotten more powerful." Morrigan says spooning another helping of food into her mouth. 

"Will it ever settle?" Leliana asks glancing at Neria as the mage tenses and moans in her sleep. 

"I hope so, I am not sure how much longer my abilities will be enough to hold her, I am not a fully trained Templar and most times even after cleanse she can kick my ass." Alistair admits frowning slightly and then getting up with her fluidly and quickly striding away from the camp.

"Stay put." He calls as Zevran gets up to follow him. 

"Hang on Neria, at least wait until we are clear of the Dalish." Alistair breaks into a run knowing he won't make it out of the trees before she explodes. Miraculously he does make it to the water and wades in as Neria wakes screaming. Flames, all anyone can see are flames. Zevran has run behind Alistair keeping the Templar in sight but not close. When he strides into the water Zevran sees red. Then he ducks behind the cover of a nearby tree, the same Neria and he watched Sten and Morrigan from earlier. 

Neria wakes up gasping and coughing water out of her mouth and nose. her robes swirl around her head and she tries to get out of the water. Strong hands pull her up and then pound on her back until she is positive she resembles meat when Sten cooks. 

"Stop! Mercy! I surrender." She croaks out and hears the strangled laugh from above. 

"Arch demon dreams?" Alistair asks. 

"Yes, are they always this bad?" 

"No, they really aren't just seems worse during the Blight. You learn to block them as the taint gets older. Until it's time for your Calling and then you know it's time to go to the Deep Roads." 

"Ah, well I think I am good now can I get up?" Neria asks and Alistair lets her go. Crossing her arms over her chest Neria looks up to assess the damage she has surely caused. 

"Keeper already fixed most of it. You set a few of the trees on fire and then exploded all the water out of the lake and doused that. Morrigan managed to deal with the snow storm and you didn’t call any lightning down so that's an improvement." 

"Are we seriously gauging how much control I have by how much damage I don’t do?" 

"It's better than a body count." Sten says enjoying the view of Neria's body nearly naked. Grabbing the hand Sten offers her to get out of the water she dries her robes and Alistair's clothing with a wave of her hand and then looks around for Zevran. "He's with the Keeper, your flames caught him." Sten says and Neria is running towards the camp. As she runs she is praying he isn't dead, just don't let him die. What makes her think she can take a lover? He has no skill or protection to keep himself safe from her. He would always be in danger from her, they all would. if she makes it through the blight she swears she will return to Aoener. It is the only place she has felt safe. That place is made of magic, it has accepted her magic like a sponge and she has fed it often. True she has been abused there but doesn't she deserve to be punished for all the pain she has caused? 

Stopping outside the Keeper's Aravel she turns her bracelet on and tries to let go of the magic she still holds. "Wait Neria, breathe you need to calm down. If you go in all flames the Keeper will not appreciate it and neither will Zevran. What is it you said?" Alistair asks. 

"Blue skies and fluffy clouds. It’s what the Templars would tell me when I was out of control." She holds out her hand to Alistair as he cast cleanse and smiles as she lets go of most of the magic. 

"Come in Little Keeper, he will be okay." Lanaya says opening the door for Neria to step in. Aravel are caravans of a sort and rather spacious inside. Zevran lies with bandages covering most of him in a bed. Neria uses some of the leftover magic she still has and casts heal and rejuvenate on him. She sees his chest move more smoothly and he groans as he wakes up. 

Casting another heal on him Neria crosses to grab his hand. "Little Keeper you perform miracles with your magic." Lanaya is surprised how healed Zevran is. 

"I don’t think he will even scar with your healing."

"Ah good, part of my livelihood depends on my pretty face." Zevran says and Neria smiles through her tears.


	15. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW- Rape-  
> "Fear will make us all do terrible things"- Morrigan

Zevran is good as new in a couple of days and the party leave to Denerim. They are about half way there when they run into a group of Templars fighting Dark-spawn Quickly getting rid of the Dark-spawn Neria runs to heal the Templars. None of them will recover from their wounds. 

"Neria?" Neria's head snaps around and she runs to the Templar taking his helmet off wiping the blood from his face. 

"Fenrik?" 

"Ah my eyes did not deceive me on my deathbed then. I thought they has lied when they told me you had become a Grey Warden." Fenrik smiles at her his brown eyes crinkling as he smiles. 

"I am indeed a Grey Warden, one of only two currently. But never mind that, we both know you are not going to recover from this why would you leave the tower?" Neria is clearing the hair from his face tracing his cheek with her fingers. 

"Abominations, taken over tower. They need help. Headed to Denerim for the Right of Annulment." Fenrik says coughing up blood. 

"No!" Neria is shocked. 

"Easy lovely, blue skies and fluffy clouds. Go and help them unless you want the circle to be destroyed." Fenrik smiles as Neria wipes the blood away. 

"I will I won't let them destroy the circle. I promise." Neria has tears on her face. 

"Kiss for the road?" Neria leans forward and kisses him knowing the breath he takes is his last. Getting up and wiping the tears from her cheek she loots the orders off of Fenrik and his lyrium. They are woefully low and need it. 

"I hate to leave them like this but we need to. Leliana can you forge these orders? We need them to be found with the body." 

"You want the circle annulled? Alistair asks confused. 

"No we need to head there now, I'm sorry about Eamon but we need the mages. I have to help them." 

"Even after everything they did to you?" Zevran asks surprised. 

"If the circle didn't try to train me I would've killed more people. I would have gone insane years ago.” Alistair nods. 

Leliana takes the orders and fishes her pen and paper out of the pack and sets to writing down the orders. "I cannot recreate this seal." 

"I know, we are taking the fakes, I need these as leverage for Gregor after we fix the tower. I want the Templars and the mages to help against the Dark-spawn" Neria says seriously. 

When they arrives at the lake Carroll is on duty. He is not listening to Neria's wanting to get across. "Here, you may have these if you will take us across the lake." Sten offers a tin of cookies to the Templar. 

"Oh yay, thank you." As Carroll eats the cookies Neria looks at her group and specifically at Morrigan. 

"Do you want to go with us Morrigan?" 

"Not particularly no, I do not agree with this at all. I understand they helped you but I don’t agree with the mages being held captive and against their will. Never mind the fact I am an   
apostate." 

"Okay, Sten do you want to stay with her?" Neria asks. 

"I have been across water before, I am not looking forward to this crossing and I see a man I need to talk to over there." Neria knows they have money to stay at the Inn called the Spoiled Princess and nods as Morrigan and Sten walk off. Leliana, Alistair and Zevran join her on the boat across. Neria can't help the shudder that goes through her as they approach the dock.

"Cara?" 

"It's nothing just I have a lot of mixed feelings for this place. Fenrik was one of my Templars until the end he was my escort the night of the attack. He was a good man and this is the least I can do for him." Zevran nods. 

"Fenrik and I, he, was special" She told Zevran the night after they had made camp. 

"I wouldn't deny a dying man a kiss cara, you owe me no explanations." He traces circles on her stomach as he says it. Getting out of the boat Carroll gets back in and rows to the other side leaving Neria to guide her group to the tower. 

As they entered Gregor is harried and ordering his men to lock the tower tight. "Now we wait." He says noticing Neria. "What are you doing here?" Gregor asks Neria quickly hiding the smile that almost hits his face.

"Here to visit my favorite Knight-Commander and First Enchanter of course. Heard I was coming and decided to bar the tower?" Neria asks sweetly looking at Gregor and looking for Irving. 

"The tower has been taken by abominations. We are waiting for the right of annulment." 

"You mean this?" Neria holds out the orders and smiles as rage crossed Gregor's face. 

"How did you get those?" 

"Killed the dark-spawn that attacked your group and looted it off the bodies. None of them survived." 

"You’re doing?" Gregor sneers and then shakes his head. "I'm sorry Neria; I know you wouldn't do that. Irving is trapped in the tower as well. I have to annul the circle." 

"What if I cleared the tower? There must be survivors." 

"If you bring the First Enchanter and he tells me the tower is okay I will call it off." Gregor is nervous about Neria going up there. 

"I will clear the tower if you will agree to the Templars helping with the blight along with the mages." Neria crosses her arms mischievous light in her eyes Gregor cannot deny. “deal." 

Stopping by the quartermaster Neria is surprised to see robes that are better than hers for sale. Grabbing them she ducks into one of the reception rooms to try them on. They are a golden color with brown trim. They hit her mid-thigh but the boots she also finds matched them perfectly and comes up to mid-thigh leaving only a couple of inches of bare skin. "Cara are you trying to give me a heart attack, surely those robes are a joke." Neria jumps a little as she smiles at Zevran. 

"You like?" 

"I do but since you will be fighting in them are you sure those will give you enough protection?" 

"They are better than the ones I have. There is a discipline that would allow me to put on armor though. It's called Arcane Warrior, this tower has books on it but I've never been able to get to them. With the tower in disarray we might be able to get them and I can learn how." 

"Such a devious mind cara are you sure you aren't Antivan?" Kissing him Neria grabs the other robes and boots and comes out of the space. Alistair's jaw drops but he recovers by studying the ceiling. Leliana has bought lyrium and flasks and Neria takes the time to make some potions and poultices. When they are ready Gregor opens the doors. 

As they walk through the doors Neria almost stops when one of the Templars say. "Good luck petite, I'll see you when you get back." 

"Another admirer?" Leliana asks smiling as Neria blushes. "Travis, he made my life bearable here." 

"Templar's plan B is always to lock the doors and wait for reinforcements." Alistair smiles as he says this. When they are through the doors make a loud thud as they close behind the group. Neria smiles as the first group of rooms they came too are her old ones.

Rushing over to one of the footlockers she finds the paperwork she is looking for. "What are you doing?" 

"Some of the apprentices used to stash supplies all over the tower. If we can find even one of those stashes we can also find some mages alive and well." Neria answers Alistair. Neria flits to another few lockers before she finds what she is looking for. "Clever girl, Bella I can kiss you." There is plenty to keep her humble though as room after room holds mages and bodies.   
Reaching the final room for the stairs up Neria is greeted by a group of mages and Senior Enchanter Wynne battling a demon. As the demon falls Wynne looks at the new group and straightens "You? How are you here? Why did the Templars let you through?" 

"They sent for the Right of Annulment but I convinced Gregor to wait. He won't believe the tower is safe until First Enchanter says it is so that is who I am trying to find." 

"Ah, then I shall join you. I know your healing is pretty decent but I am sure I can be of use." Wynne says gathering the rest of the children and few mages she found.

"I would be honored for you to join us Wynne." Neria says and meaning it. 

"Before we depart let me introduce Alistair, Templar trained and fellow Grey Warden. Zevran and Leliana both are rouges." 

"Not Grey Wardens?" 

"No, after Ostregar Alistair and I seem to be the only two left." 

"Well that is troubling." Wynne says as she gathers her supplies and bids farewell to her charges. 

"Do you want me to stay here Neria?" Leliana asks though Neria knows the bard does not want to stay. 

"No, let's get this party started. Petra and the rest of the mages can handle anything through the door." Nodding they approach the barrier Wynne has put up. 

"Now that is impressive for healing mage." 

"Yes, it takes a lot of energy sometimes but it's held so far." Wynne dispels it and they head into the library. 

"Are you sure you are up for this Neria abominations are horrible things." Wynne says looking at Neria with questions in her eyes. 

"She is very good at fending off unwanted attackers. I speak from experience of course." Zevran smiles as he says it and Wynne does not miss the look Neria gives the elf. When they enter   
the library Neria beelines for a section in the very back and barely escapes the rage demon that comes up from the floor. Ducking under the flames it throws Neria freezes it solid and then shatters it with a hit from her staff. Rest of the team is handling another rage demon and Neria freezes it while she scans the books as quickly as possible. Finding the book she is looking for Neria stashes it in her pack and they head to another section. Zevran hears voices and stops the group nudging Leliana to figure out exactly where on the other side the voices are coming from. 

"Blood magic isn't that bad. Uldred is right, look how easy the tower fell. Templars are hiding and we now own the tower". 

"Yes but we can't get out." There has to be a way out of the tower, what about the phylactery chamber it has to have something we can use." Alistair shifts in his armor and the group hear   
it. 

"Is it another demon?" 

"4 of them." Zevran says quietly and everyone nods. Alistair smited the two that are standing near each other. Morrigan freezes one while Neria tries to freeze the last one. 

"You'll have to do better than that elf." Neria narrowed her eyes at the mage, 

"I was being nice but if you want to play let's play." Sending a gout of flame at the mage Neria smiles at the screams of the other mage. Suddenly it is Zevran's screams and Neria's spell stops suddenly as she sees Zevran's face melting. 

"Let her go demon!" Alistair slices the head off of the demon and it lets go of Neria. She recovers fast enough to zing off lightning at the final blood mage. 

"mercy, I beg of you mercy. We only wanted change. We had no idea all of this would happen." 

"You beg most prettily malificar" Alistair is at ease with his blade still in his hand. 

"You don't know what it’s like to always be watched; they are always watching and judging us. Someone has to make the first move, like Andraste did." 

"What you are doing is only going to make it harder for mages. There are better ways to get change than to turn to blood magic." Wynne says.

"Maybe but our choices are limited." 

"Choices are choices and you chose wrong." Neria says even as she imagines Jowen in this same position. Alistair kills the mage before Neria can come up with an excuse to spare her. 

Steadily they cleared the rooms and Neria has silent tears streaming down her face along with Wynne. Friends and enemies are struck down seemingly at random. Many are the demons, rage, are the most plentiful and then the desire demons are everywhere as well. 

"Why are the Desire demons so focused on the Templars?" Leliana asks. 

"All Templars are male in Ferelden that is a lot of pent up sexual energy. Besides the Templars are great fodder but not worth the possession. Mages are the tempting morsel they want."   
Alistair says smiling at the bard. Entering the main hall on the third floor Neria gags with the stench of death and absurdity that excess of death and sex. 

"Oh good, visitors. I would entertain you but it requires too much effort." 

"Foul demon you will not get to us!" Wynne bravely says.

"Don't you feel tired? Don't you want to just rest and let me take care of everything?" 

"Must resist!" Alistair says but they all succumb. 

Neria nods her head and looks at her surroundings. She is back in Aeonar and she winces at the scene chosen. It is the day they finally figured out just how much Mage Metal it took to keep her from casting. She knows by the end of this memory she will be bound at ankles, wrists, waist, throat, fingers, she would even have it pierced into her ears. Neria shed all of the metal when she returned to the tower though Gregor did put a pair of the earrings back in when she had bad dreams. Now the tiny rings stay in her pack though the holes are still there. Zevran never asks and she has never volunteered the information. Where she expects Garret this demon has something far sinister in mind for her. It is Alistair who wields this dream, the blonde fellow Warden who has tried to give her friendship. Alistair is in his Templar armor, it is not impervious to her elements but his skills are.

"Neria, darling rise and shine. Let's see how you feel today shall we?" Neria trembles at the weapon in his hand, it is a whip and it uses her magic against her. She has shown Alistair and Zevran her scars, she has even told them not all of them are magic given. She has not said every single one of them was given by her own magic. It was a simple lesson, control your magic and you don’t hurt yourself. It is a lesson a child cannot learn. Neria had been traumatized by killing the Templar. True he was not her first kill but he is the only one she remembers. Alistair uses her fear; it is a 16 year old at his feet fresh into the start of womanhood. His hands are rough and she lashes out with her flames. This whip Alistair wields so expertly though, this whip takes her flames and marks her with it. Bound so she cannot heal them it is how they made the scars permanent. Neria screams as the memory changes, begging for respite. 

Heta has put the first shackles on Neria and she has burned her hands, her punishment for making it snow in the cafeteria. Heta has refused to heal the wounds. Neria has learned to heal herself. "Now there will be no ignoring me Neria. “Alistair says sending his whip across her back. She huddles on her knees making herself as small as possible. feeling the bite of the whip Neria knows real fear as she fully realizes which memory this is. Like a macabre puppet unable to stop herself she sees herself reach up and slap Alistair, her hand super-heated it has not hit his face but his chest and she has rained blow after blow on his chest. Alistair slaps her spinning her and he catches her and his super-heated chest pressing against her back and Neria screams. Smelling her own burnt flesh Neria gags and Alistair yanks her by her hair. He would push, prod and cajole her into either using her magic or her magic going wild to lash out at him. Neria's magic goes wild encasing her and Alistair in flames and he holds her against his chest smiling as the flames burn Neria. Wrapping magic around her fist Neria hits Alistair and feels him laugh as again and again he marks her with flame, ice lightning and his body. No one is coming for her and Neria screams in frustration as Alistair laughs. 

"I think I saw him flinch that time." One elf says and Morrigan looks at the elf strangely. She is in a desert landscape and sees a rack. She is familiar with the device; she has seen pictures in books of them. 

"Maybe, we'll make you scream yet apprentice." Zevran is on the table, Morrigan stops herself from interfering. Zevran has to stop this himself, has to believe this is a dream. 

"We're not going to go easy on you trust me." 

"No, I wouldn't want you to hold back. I'd be disappointed if you did." Morrigan smiles at the bite in Zevran's tone knowing the pain he is in. 

"This one has spirit; it’s a shame we have to break it." 

"Zevran! Snap out of it elf." Morrigan asks unable to keep quiet anymore as the elves cranked the rack tighter. 

"What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here, I don't want you to see this." 

"Snap out of it, this is a dream." 

"I Can't I need to stay strong. This is my test; I am going to be a crow. I need to show them I can tolerate pain." 

"You fool, you are already an Antivan Crow, and do you not remember trying to kill Neria?" Morrigan says exasperated. 

"I do, this is just a bad memory?" At that moment both of the elves attack Morrigan and Zevran jumps off the table and takes one out while Morrigan handles the other. 

"Well that was bracing, nothing like a good racking is there?" 

"Probably not, we need to find the others." Morrigan says. 

"Lead I will wait where am I going? Morrigan!" Morrigan lunges for the elf as colored lights make Zevran fade from her view. 

"Hey it's great to see you again. I is just thinking about you. Isn't that a marvelous coincidence?" Alistair says and Neria frowns at the children everywhere and a woman cooking at a pot. 

"This is my sister Goldanna and these are her children, and there's more about somewhere. We're one big happy family, at long last." 

"You seem very...content." Neria says surprised. 

"I am. I'm happier than I've been in my entire life. Isn't that strange? I thought being a Grey Warden would make me happy, but it didn't. This does. “

“I'm overjoyed to have my little brother back. I'll never let him out of my sight again!" Goldanna is beaming at Alistiar.

"May I borrow him for a second? We have business elsewhere." Neria is confused at this. 

"I...don't think I'll be coming. I don't want to spend my life fighting, only to end up dead in a pit along with rotting dark-spawn corpses." Alistair steps away from her.

"Well Alistair is your friend staying for supper?" Goldanna is still wielding the spoon.

"Say you'll stay. Goldanna's a great cook. Maybe she'll make her mince pie. You can, can't you?" 

"Of course dear brother. Anything for you." 

"Alistair, you're going to be king. You can't stay here." Neria shakes her head, can't bring herself to touch him. 

"Me? No, I'd make a terrible king! Don't be silly. You're acting really strangely." 

"Think about this and how you got here. Think carefully." Neria asks wondering if she can get him free.

"All right, if it makes you happy. I, it's a little fuzzy, hmm that is strange." 

"Alistair, come and have some tea." 

"No wait I remember a tower. The Circle, it is under attack and there are demons. That's all I really remember." Alistair frowns at his memory that has holes in it. 

"That is all happening right now." 

"Are you saying that this is a dream? But it's so real. Something doesn’t feel quite right here. I think I have to go." Alistair walks towards Neria away from Goldanna. 

"No you will not be leaving." Goldanna turns into a desire demon and attacks Neria and Alistair. The children turn into skeletons and Neria is thankful she will not be killing kids. Dispatching them all Neria smiles as Alistair looks confused. 

"I'm sorry, it seemed so real." 

"It's okay." 

"Wait why the shiny light... HEY!" Alistair departs and Neria hopes she will see him again. Neria gasps as another lash breaks this image from her and she screams. 

"Blessed art thou who exists in the sight of the Maker. Blessed art thou who seeks his forgiveness." Leliana is in a small church and praying at the altar, a Reverend Mother stands nearby.  
Neria is confused; of all the people to get stuck here Neria is not sure how to get to her. "Leliana, what are you doing?" 

"What, who are you?" 

"I beg you do not disturb the girl's meditations." Reverend Mother says and Neria crosses her arms and glares at both of them. 

"The fade is playing tricks with your mind Leliana You know me well, we travel together." 

"I'm sorry, but I don’t know you and what you are talking about." 

"Please do not vex her, she needs calm and solitude to calm her mind and heal her heart." Neria is curious exactly what can require calming and healing form Leliana Neria has read about the bards and has asks casually how a Chantry sister can fight so well. Leliana has dodged the question and Neria has let it go knowing she too has secrets to hide. 

"Leliana, listen to me this is not real. You know me! Do you remember why you left the cloister?" 

"There is a sign." 

"Leliana we have discussed this sign of yours. The Maker does not care to interfere in the affairs of mortals. This vision of yours is likely the work of demons." Neria is trying very hard not to giggle since she knows the Reverend Mother is the demon. 

"Do not listen to her, listen to your heart and head. You know what you believe." Leliana shakes her head and steps closer to Neria. 

"The Maker cares for us. I believe he misses his wayward children as much as we miss him. My vision may not be from him, but it guides me to do what is right. My Revered Mother knows this. I don’t know who you are, but you are not her." Leliana draws her dagger and thrusts it into the demon's heart. 

"We will meet soon I hope." Neria says as the bard disappears. 

"You will stay focused mage. I will have your full attention." Alistair drags a broken Neria across the floor kicking her in the face with every step. 

"Maker forgive me. I failed them all. They died and I did not stop it." Wynne is faced with the bodies of her students and Neria sees a few familiar faces as well. 

"Where are you?" Wynne is yelling at Neria and it is all Neria can do to look away from the bodies of her friends to face the formidable mage.

"Wynne, this is not real. I would never let this happen. We can save them but we cannot dwell here." Neria is crying and Wynne realizes the truth. 

"No don’t leave us!" One of the mages say and Neria strikes at it. Spells fly and when It is over Wynne hugs Neria. 

"We will save them, stay strong." Wynne too disappears. This lone interaction is not broken by the cut of the whip. 

"Demon, you will let her go." Neria looks up to see who has shown up in her hell. Morrigan stands arms crossed as she takes in the scene of a very bloody and battered Neria at the feet of Alistair. "Oh Neria, my poor girl. Hang on darling; I need you to realize this is a vision. I need you to face your fears." 

"Can't too strong, better if I stay here. Please Morrigan I just need to rest." Neria's voice is raw with fatigue from screaming. 

"You need to fight this and him; you cannot let this demon undo what you have managed to build." Morrigan's words are hollow and they both know it. Neria will never trust Alistair now, not after this. Morrigan defeats the demon and sheds a single tear as she is winked out of existence. 

Stone circle, much like the one she saw when she entered the fade for Conner faces Neria now. Instead of the ravishing desire demon she sees the abomination that holds so much power over them. "You will stop this demon, I will defeat you." Neria says furious.

"Hey there you are and here I am, YAY!" Alistair shows up in a show of lights. 

"I am tired of this place, let's move on shall we?" Zevran moves to touch Neria assuring himself they are together again. 

"Demon, you cannot keep us apart!" Leliana is defiant and beautiful in her deadly rage. 

"We found each other in this place you will not defeat us." Wynne too is furious and Neria sees there are fresh tears on her face. 

"Playtime is over children, time for you to return to your cells." As this is said the Demon turns into a giant Ogre thing with huge horns and fists the size of Sten. Neria regrets not bringing   
the huge man as the Ogre swipes at Alistair. Alistair dodges out of the way and Neria sends a blast of cold at the thing. Neria is loath to turn her magic to full blast. Even as she casts she feels the whip on her back and she falters. 

"Neria? Hun we need your help here." Wynne is brisk as her healing magic envelopes Alistair and she follows it up with a blast from her staff at the monster. Shaking off the memories Neria calls her magic and freezes the thing solid this time. As it explodes another thing takes its place. Covered in flames Alistair backs away, Neria again calls on her cold and wraps the thing up to freeze it solid. Neria is wishing for Morrigan rather than Wynne as the thing frees itself again and Zevran dances away from it. 

"Come to me you thing, come and dance in my flames." Neria walks towards it and Alistair is in shock. 

"What are you doing?" Leliana calls sending another ice arrow into the demon. 

"You'll see, step back my love. Alistair have your shield ready." Neria accepts the monster as it comes to her and she takes a snowy bomb and wraps it in a flaming ember and pushes the   
present inside the monster. Calling her force field down she is barely in time to miss the explosion of ice and fire. Next incarnation is an Arcane Horror and Neria is not ready for the scream that escapes her as Wynne is wrapped in a crushing prison. This Arcane Horror follows this spell up with a Blizzard that sends ice everywhere and coats the companions quickly. Alistair bashes the Horror and slices it quickly. Zevran follows that up with his blades and Neria shoots lightning at it. Finally it falls over dead. 

"You did it!" 

"Niall! What are you doing here?" Neria says confused at the appearance of the mage. 

"I tried to stop Uldred and I failed. I do have the Litany of Adrala on me though, promise you will take it and defeat Uldred." 

"I will." Neria says nodding. 

"I failed so miserably I can only hope Bella forgives me." 

"She will be proud of you, at least you tried." Neria assures the mage and then they are waking up. Zevran helps her to her feet and Neria kisses him soundly. Looking she sees Niall's body   
and takes the Litany. 

"Let's get this done shall we?" Wynne asks as they walk through the next door. 

"This trick again? I know what you are. It won't work. I will stay strong..." Cullen is imprisoned and Neria runs to the cage. 

"Cullen don't you recognize us?" Wynne asks worry etched on her face. 

"Only too well, how far they must have delved into my thoughts." 

"He's exhausted, and this cage. I've never seen anything like it." Wynne starts trying to figure out a way to get him out. 

"Enough visions. If anything in you is merciful kill me know and end this game." Cullen is on his knees praying to the Maker and Neria is not sure what to do. "You broke the others, but I   
will stay strong, for my sake, for theirs. Sifting through my thoughts, tempting me with the one thing I always wanted but can never have. Using my shame against me, my ill-advised infatuation with her, and a mage of all things." 

"You were such a little heart breaker when you were here cara." Zevran smiles as he says this taking the sting out of the words. 

"Not on purpose I assure you my love."

"I am so tired of these cruel jokes, these tricks, these." Cullen is going on and on. 

"Cullen, stop! We are here to help you." Neria is on her knees in front of him. 

"Silence! I'll not listen to anything you say. Now BEGONE!" Cullen roars at them through the cage and Neria feels sorry for him. "Still here? But that's always worked before. I close my eyes   
but you are still here when I open them. " 

"I'm real, and I am here to help you." Neria says trying to get through to Cullen.

"Maker forgive me for my sins." 

"It is not a sin to like or love someone Cullen." Neria says trying to get this man to reason with her. 

"It is the foolish fancy of a naive boy. I know better now. Why have you returned to the tower? How did you survive?" 

"Is it so surprising I would come? This is my HOME!" Neria is furious at Cullen. Cullen who watches her too closely, who wants what he thought he can't have and punished himself for it. 

"As it is mine. And look what they've done to it. They deserve to die. Uldred most of all. They cages us like animals, looks for ways to break us. I am the only one left.” Cullen is angry and scared.

“Be proud, you survived." Alistair says and Neria looks at him questions crashing into her mind but never her tongue. 

"Be proud? What is there to be proud of? That I lived and they died? They turned some into monsters and there is nothing I can do.” Cullen shakes his head remains on his knees.

“You must stay strong." Wynne says. 

"And to think I once thought we were too hard on you." 

"We're not all evil Cullen." Neria says imploring him to understand. 

"Only mages have that much power at their fingertips. Only mages are so susceptible to the infernal whispering of the demons." 

"This is a discussion for another time!" Wynne is frustrated and Neria acknowledges she is right. "Irving and the other mages who fought Uldred. Where are they?" Wynne demands. 

"They are in the Harrowing Chamber. The sounds coming out from there, oh Maker!" 

"We must hurry, they are in grave danger I am sure of it." Neria says. 

"You can't save them. You don’t know what they've become." 

"I'm a mage too Cullen." Neria states.

"But you haven't been up there; you haven't been under their influence. They've been surrounded by blood mages whose wicked fingers snake into your mind and corrupt your thoughts." 

"His hatred of mages is so intense; the memory of his friends' deaths is still fresh in his mind." Alistair states his fingers itching to grab and protect Neria and Wynne. 

"You have to end it now, before it's too late!" 

"I will not kill an innocent." Neria says shaking her head. 

"We both know you have done that plenty. To ensure this horror is ended, to guarantee that no abominations or blood mages live, you must kill everyone up there." Cullen is cruel and correct and they both know it. 

"I will not make that decision until I see what we face." Neria says stepping away from the barrier. 

"Thank you, I knew you would make a rational decision." Wynne states as Neria decides her next steps. 

"Rational? How is this rational? Do you understand the danger?” Cullen is up and pacing in his prison.

“I know full well the dangers of magic, but killing innocents because they might be maleficarum is not justice. I know you are angry" Neria says acknowledging Cullen's fears. 

"You know nothing! I am thinking about the future of the Circle, of Ferelden." 

"I have made my decision." Neria says swiping her hand in finality. 

"As you can see, I am in no position to directly influence your actions, though I would love to deal with the mages myself." 

"Stay safe Cullen." Neria says turning away. 

"No one ever listens, not until it's far too late. Maker turn his gaze on you. I hope your compassion hasn't doomed us all."

Secretly Neria agrees with Cullen as they climb the stairs and enter the Harrowing chamber. As they walk in Abominations and Uldred are magically ripping into another mage. All of them watch in horror as that mage explodes and puts itself back together into an abomination. Neria can even feel the magic and looking at Alistair, she knows the Templar is feeling it too. Wynne gasps as the mage on the floor stands to join the other three near Uldred. Uldred turns his attention to the group. He is a thin man, bald with thick bushy eyebrows. Neria remembers his lectures as cruel and the Enchanter taking interest in only the weakest mages. Uldred did not deal with apprentices for the most part. When you did get his attention it is usually because you were male and brunette. However Uldred did have his favorites, those special boys he would use on a regular basis to spy on his fellow mages. He dealt in secrets like a drug dealer. Neria finds him greasy but not alarming. Now though, now she wonders what can have pushed the mage so far over the edge into this. 

"Ah, Look what we have here. I remember you, Irving's star pupil. Uldred didn't think much of you then, and I certainly don’t see your appeal now. I'm quite impressed you're still alive. Unfortunately that must mean you killed my servants. Ah well they are probably better off dying in the service of their betters than living with the terrible responsibility of independence." 

"You'll soon follow your servants." Neria sneers at Uldred. 

"Wait wait wait, let's not be hasty. I'm trying to have a civilized conversation here." 

"This will not continue." Alistair chimes in and Uldred glances at the Templar before dismissing him. 

"A mage is but the larval form of something greater. Your Chantry vilifies us. calls us abominations, when we have truly reached our full potential. Look at them. The Chantry has them   
convinced. They deny themselves the pleasure of becoming something glorious." 

"You're mad! There's nothing glorious about what you've become Uldred!" Wynne says with disdain. 

"Uldred? He is gone. I am Uldred and yet not Uldred. I am more than he is. I can give you this gift, Wynne. You and all mages. It would be so much easier if you just accept it. But some   
people can be so stubborn. You star pupil, raw potential with the strength of a demon behind it, would be unstoppable. I can do that; I can give you power, and a new life." 

"Anyone have that nightmare on a regular basis already?" Alistair raises his hand and looks at the rest of the companions. "No? Just me? Wow." Neria hears Zevran chuckle and sees Leliana smile. 

"I'm not interested Uldred thing, never have been never will be." Neria says and sends lightning through the man. 

With a bright flash Uldred turns into something huge and horrible and grabs Neria in his hand. "You will release me this instant!" Neria is furious and casts as much cold on the hand as possible and then smacks it with her staff. Suddenly she is falling and Alistair yells.

"On it already keep him entertained." Zevran catches Neria and kisses her quickly before dashing off to help Leliana with the three abominations. Neria casts a few spells on Uldred and realizes the thing is absorbing her magic. 

"Guys we need to switch. I'll take care of the abominations; help Alistair with Uldred my spells are making it randy." Neria says and zings lightning through the abominations and one of them pops like a melon showering Leliana in gore. 

"Oh ugh, this is my last decent tunic too!" She slides her blade along the neck of one of the abominations and then slashes at the other. 

Wynne heals and reads from the Litany whenever Uldred tries to control one of the other mages in the room. As the fight wears on Neria is frustrated and furious at the lack of progress with the demon thing. She realizes the other mages are healing her party if they can but none have any blades on them. "You will teach me how to use a blade when this is over Alistair." Neria shouts and whacks Uldred again.

"He will do no such thing!" Wynne fusses as she reads from the Litany again. Neria is thrilled to see Uldred getting weaker. Zevran is behind Uldred and uses his blades to climb and sends his blades into the neck of Uldred. With a huge bellow the mage falls and Neria and Wynne scramble out of the way. 

"Finally!" Leliana says and helps Zevran down. He pretends to wipe his blade on her tunic and she escapes the blade with ease and playfully swings at him. 

"Thank you Neria. You did not have to come back here to help us and yet you did. Now I think we need to talk to Gregor. You will have to help me down the stairs; whoever decided the circle should be built in a tower was never old." Alistair helps Irving as he finishes speaking and Neria helps another mage. 

As they walk Alistair peppers Irving with questions about Neria, her control and her issues with Templars. "Neria saw the Templars as her brothers when she was a child. Then she went to Aeonar and everything changed. They used her magic against her, I was so furious when I saw what they had done to her." 

"You mean her scars?" Alistair asks. 

"All self-inflicted with her own magic at the hands of a torturer. How is her control?" 

"Tenuous at best and downright scary. She has gotten more powerful. I am out of my depth with her; I am not fully trained as a Templar." Alistair says honestly. 

"Speak with Gregor, he might have a solution." Alistair nods as they reach the door. 

"We should clear the lower level Neria." Wynne says quietly and Neria nods. Leaving Irving with the rest of the mages she and Wynne approach the doors to the lower level. As Neria puts her hand on the door an Abomination appears and declares he is Yarsing. Spells explode in rapid succession and he is dead in moments. Neria smiles as the sword in her hand glows with runes. 

"Yaris, it can only be wielded by an Arcane Warrior." Irving says reading the runes and smiling at Neria. "Lower levels are sealed Neria, none can get through there. Come now I need to rest." Neria nods and Irving demands Gregor open the door. Cullen is among those that go through the door and is being treated by one of the mages. Cullen watches her closely and demands all of the mages be killed. 

Gregor and Irving look at the Templar and shake their heads. "What do you think Gregor?" Neria asks shooting Cullen settle down looks. 

"Irving assures me the blood mages have been dealt with and I agree. This circle will stay intact." 

"Good, will you be ready for the blight?" Alistair asks pressing his advantage. 

"Yes. Though I will be hard pressed to send the numbers you need I will send what I can. Alistair, Irving said you wished to talk to me?" Neria's look of betrayal is plain even as Alistair moves off, as an afterthought he seems to include Cullen and Wynne in the group. 

"What is that about?" Zevran asks and Neria shakes her head. To distract herself Neria sets to making potions and getting more lyrium from the Quartermaster. Finally the group returns and Wynne looks happy, Alistair looks a bit miffed and Cullen is very pale. 

"I have requested to join you Neria, will you have me?" Neria is surprised Wynne would want to come and agrees. 

"Cullen will be coming with us as well." Alistair adds and Neria's head snaps up hoping for the smile of a prank. None is forthcoming. 

"We need to go, blight to stop and all." Neria says numbly as they leave the tower. Silence is the boat trip back and Neria wonders if it’s the after effects of what has happened or the new companions. Wynne is prim, proper and motherly. Cullen is sullen and hurt and angry. It pours off of him in waves and Neria is not sure what to do about it or how to approach him.


	16. Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Caging yourself so you will not hurt others is not always the answer. But sometimes it is necessary so we may heal and come to terms with our actions." Sten

Reaching the dock Sten is sitting outside the tavern talking with a man. As they approach Sten gets up and walks to them. Alistair does the introductions while Neria goes in and makes the arrangements for rooms. "If you want a bath Leliana I can show you a secluded part of the lake." Sten offers and Neria nods along with Leliana grabbing her soaps and clean clothes Sten takes them and Zevran to the spot. It is secluded and seems to be a natural bath. Neria heats the water a bit, enough for Leliana to moan in pleasure. Neria smiles at the bard and douses her hair and starts washing it. 

"Such a bounty of spun gold you have Neria. Have you ever cut it?" 

"I do, I keep it the length it is for a reason. it gets heavy though especially when I keep it braided. I have given some thought to cutting it." 

"You will not shore your curls my love, they are far too beautiful." Zevran says his back to the women keeping watch. 

"Here allow me." Leliana finishes Neria's soaping and then helps to untangle the mass after a rinse. Neria smiles as the bard does her own quickly and gets out of the water. Zevran looks at her appreciatively and Neria smiles as well. Neria would never share Zevran but she knows Zevran would share. Drying off Leliana shrugs on her shirt and slides into her pants, holding her boots. Neria dries Leliana's feet and the bard smiles as she slides her boots on and takes position to guard while Zevran gets into the water.  
Zevran is out of his clothes, into the water and kissing Neria in no time. "Do you mind Leliana?" 

"No, have at it, I will pretend it is the first night you joined us Zevran and make our warden cry out in joy." Neria smiles beneath Zevran's kisses as he has her crying out in joy and satisfaction erasing some of the tension she feels. 

Alistair settles Cullen in the room with him, he needs to prepare the Templar for Morrigan and just in general. "I know you don't have a choice about this Cullen but you can make a difference especially during blight." 

“Hopefully we can find someone to actually make me a Warden." Cullen says thoughtfully. 

"In the meantime we will work on how you deal with mages. We currently travel with three. Wynne our healer now, Neria our kick everything's ass and blow us up in the process and Morrigan our bitchy, witchy, death dealing mage that can turn into a spider, bear and crow." Alistair finishes smiling. 

"Wynne is a respectable mage, I am sure she can help Neria with control. Morrigan, she sounds like an apostate." 

"She is, remember you are a Grey Warden recruit now, we accept all types." Alistair says frowning at Cullen. 

"I hate mages." Cullen says shaking slightly. 

"Yeah well you don’t hate Neria and that is a start." Alistair says shaking his head at the man. 

"Are you and she?" 

"No, she and the other elf who happens to be an assassin." Alistair is trying to gauge exactly what the infatuation is with Neria and if he needs to worry about it. 

"Templars should not fraternize with their charges." 

"You are no longer a Templar and I never was. We are outside the Circle and our mages will do what they like with whomever they like." Alistair enunciates whomever. 

"She is the commander then?" Cullen is curious and it shows. 

"Yes, and you will treat her as such. She can and will toast, freeze and electrocute you." 

"I am well aware of Neria's skills Alistair. I have known her for most of her life. I was there the day she killed Lenin, I was there the day she comes back from Aeonar I was the one chosen  
to kill her if she failed her Harrowing. There is very little you can tell me about her Alistair." 

"You will not speak of my time in the tower Cullen." Both men spin to the door where Neria stands. "Which of my fathers do I have to thank for these?" Neria throws the box at them and Cullen catches it. 

"You have me to thank for them Neira." Neria spins to look at Zevran with a look of horror. 

"I know what the holes in your ears meant and I know what the dragons mean. We too have a circle in Antiva. I requested Alistair to talk to Gregor about it." 

"Of all the people I thought would want to bind me, I never thought it would be you." Neria's heart is breaking. 

"Neria, control.” Cullen says as flames lick up and down her skin and Neria is trying so hard not to cry. 

"I should kill you all." 

"You are getting worse, I am not sure if it's the child or the taint or a combo of it all but your control has been laughable at best since you joined the Wardens. You told me you hadn't had an explosion in several months before you joined." Alistair says reaching for his skills. 

"She hasn’t had control issues in 4 months, 13 days before she left. What child?" Cullen says reaching for cleanse.

"Stop or I will kill you both here and now. You will not be able to smite me before I toast you and we all know it. We can talk this out; I don’t need to be bound." Neria is pleading and it is  
breaking Zevran's heart. 

"Neria, you need to be bound more. I have no intention of making it where you cannot cast at all but you could have killed a lot of people when we were at the Dalish camp. You could have killed Zevran. She is pregnant with Zevran's child." Alistair says trying to reason with her and answer Cullen's question. 

"Earrings only, no manacles, no whips." Neria is crying and it is Cullen who gathers her into his arms and murmurs over and over to her, “Blue skies and fluffy clouds. Hold the shapes and breathe you can do this. Breathe away the magic, let it go gently. There, better? Do you still have your earrings? If so bring them and you can pick which ones we put in. We'll start with two sets in each ear and go from there. I see you still wear the ones Travis gave you for Feast day now go with Zevran and get the earrings. If you feel more comfortable have him put them in." Zevran and Alistair have yet to pick their jaws up from the floor at the way Cullen handles Neria. Neria nods and Zevran takes the box Cullen has to shake at him to take it. After they leave Alistair looks at the Templar again. 

"How in the Maker's name did you do that?" Alistair asks recovering slightly. 

"It's habit with her. She was told for her entire life she MUST have the Templars close to help her. She is NOT EVER supposed to be without a Templar. It is how she overcame her attack by the Templars. Why does she have problems with you?" Cullen asks hesitantly. 

"Yes, she has toasted, frosted and electrocuted me and told me to stay the hell away from her on more than one occasion. But now that I think about it when she is in danger or she feels out of control she reaches for me." Alistair says thoughtfully. 

"She is forced to trust us. In the end Fenrik, Travis and I were her last Templars before she joined the rest of the mages because her control was so good. She wore a full set of earrings though and at night she was bound with chains to sleep. Even when she was in the dorm with the other mages she slept bound. Her nightmares can kill but Irving wanted to give her some normalcy." 

"We have sleep cast on her when we are in populated areas; I don't think she'd let us bind her." Alistair says.

"No she wouldn't." Zevran says stepping back into the room. "She is with Leliana and Morrigan putting on the earrings. Morrigan knows what they are but I don't think Leliana realizes what they are. I do not think she will forgive me for this." Zevran says when Alistair lifts an eyebrow. 

"You are not sleeping with me." Sten says joining the party. "Why is the elf crying? What did you do that she will not forgive?" Sten asks crossly. 

"Bound her magic." Zevran says sadly. 

"Why would she allow this?" Sten is still furious. 

"She is losing control of her magic more and more often." Alistair says knowing it is enough. Sten nods and leaves the room. Sten walks into the room with the crying Neria and an annoyed Morrigan and a weepy Leliana "Leave. I will do this task." Neria glances up, way up at Sten he looks at the bed covered in earrings of all sizes and shapes and then at Neria as Morrigan and Leliana leave. "Caging yourself so you will not hurt others is not always the answer. But sometimes it is necessary so we may heal and come to terms with our actions." Sten is kneeling on the floor in front of Neria. 

"I have always been bound in some shape or fashion for my entire life. I have always been told my magic is too dangerous and that I deserve to be alone. Only alone are you truly safe. So this is my choice. I will bind myself; I will accept the binding so I do not have to be alone. I hate being alone." Neria admits quietly. 

"Then why do you cry? If you accept this than accept it with pride." Sten asks confused. 

"Because every earring I put in feels like I am tying myself with a stone and that a part of me is being ripped away." Neria says trying to explain. 

"I am missing part of myself too, I cannot go home. If I do I will be struck down as soulless." Sten admits finding matching earrings on the bed. 

"Why?" Sten picks up an earring and sets it into her ear looking at Neria as he answers. "I told you I came to Ferelden with more of the Barasaad; we are to report on the blight. When we camped at Lake Calenhad we were overwhelmed. I saw the last of the dark-spawn killed but too late, I fell. When I came to my sword was gone. When I asked the farmers where it was they did not know. I panicked and killed them. I caged myself in Lothering." Sten admits picking up another set of earrings.

"Did you find out information about your sword while you and Morrigan were here?" Neria sits quietly as Sten puts the earrings in. 

"I did. There is a man in Orzammar that might have it, a trader." 

"We will find your sword Sten." Neria reaches for her earrings and realizes Sten has finished the task. 

"I believe you can find my sword in this world little elf." Standing he puts the rest of the earrings in the box and hands it back to her.  
Morrigan knows Sten is aware she has heard the discussion between him and Neria. "Do you really think she can find this sword of yours?" Sten shrugs and walks with Morrigan to his and Cullen's room. 

"If she finds it I will be able to go home, if not Ferelden isn't terrible." Morrigan kisses him quickly before going to her bedroom which she shares with Neria. Wynne and Leliana share the other room and finally Alistair and Zevran stay in theirs. Heading to Denerim Neria does not even look at Zevran. Both of them are mopping and distracted. Thankfully the earrings seem to keep Neria's magic to a minimum while she can still cast. They run into another group of dark-spawn and take them out after it is done though Wynne collapses.  
Back at the camp Neria asks Wynne what that is about. "I guess I do owe you an explanation for what happened earlier. You should know that something happened to me at the tower before you come along. Remember my apprentice Petra? She encountered a demon in the tower. It would have killed her has I not intervened. I saved her life that day, but I did not survive the encounter with the demon." 

"Uh, this case of death is taking a while to kick in then." Zevran says a bit wary. 

"I engaged a very powerful demon to rescue Petra. It sapped me of all my energy and will, and leaves me drained. It took everything I had to defeat it, and when I was done I no longer had the strength to keep my heart beating. I remember my life ebbing away, everything from me, sound light I remember being enveloped in complete and impenetrable darkness. Then I sensed a presence, enfolding me and cradling me, whispering quietly to me. The sensation is impossible to describe. I is being, held back, firmly but gently as a mother would a child eager to slip from her grasp. I feel life and warmth flowing through my veins again. I began to be aware of small sounds, and discomfort of my hip pressing into the cold stone floor of the tower. “

“That is an amazing story Wynne." Leliana chimes in standing close to Neria. 

"The fade contains spirits both benevolent and malicious. The benevolent spirits seldom make themselves known, because they want nothing from mortals, unlike the demons. It is one of these spirits that saved me. Without it, I would be dead and it has not left me. It is with me now, bonded to me. You see I am supposed to be dead. It is the spirit that is keeping me in this world, and this is not the way of things. Perhaps the spirit did not expect this but it is weakening, gradually. I am living on borrowed time. “

“Then I am honored you think stopping the blight is worth your time." Alistair states and Neria smiles at him.


	17. Trials of Heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Forgivness is not always possible. You admitted she couldn’t control herself, gave her chains you who have seen her scars and know the tales.”-Morrigan

Once in Denerim Alistair asks if they can see his sister. "Of course, do you want me to come with you?" Neria asks and Alistair nods. Sten and Morrigan go to shop while Leliana and Zevran try to drum up a bit of work. Wynne requests to visit some relatives and takes Cullen with her. "Meet back her in four hours?"   
All of them nod and Neria walks with Alistair to Goldanna's house. "Oi do you have laundry to wash?" 

"Um no, I'm Alistair. If you're Goldanna then I'm your brother." 

"My what? I am Goldanna yes, but how do you know my name? What kind of tomfoolery are you folk up to?" Goldana looks nothing like Alistair and Neria shakes her head at the woman that is shrieking at them her hair short and dirty and her dress threadbare.

"He is telling the truth madam." Neria chimes in helpfully. 

"Look our mother, she worked as a servant in the castle a long time ago, before she died. Do you know about that she." Alistair tries and Goldana interrupts him, 

"You! I knew it! They told me you is dead! They told me the babe is dead along with mother, but I knew they is lying!" 

"They told you I is dead? What? Who told you that?" Alistair is curious and walks closer to Goldana.

"Thems at the castle! I told them the babe is the king's, and they said he is dead. Gave me a coin to shut my mouth and send me on my way! I knew it!" 

"I'm sorry, I didn’t know that. The babe didn't die. I'm him, I'm your brother." Alistair’s smile is heart breaking in its innocence. 

"For all the good it does me! You killed mother you did and I've has to scrape by all this time? That coin didn't last long and when I went back they ran me off!" Goldana is in Alistair’s face and waving her fist at him and Neria watches Alistair’s jubilation fall. 

"I don't think this is a good idea." Neria says backing up a bit.

"And who in the Maker's name are you? Some tart following after his riches I expect." Goldana rounds on Neria and Alistair is in front of her automatically his bulk blocking Neria from the woman in instinct.

"Hey! Don't speak to her that way! She's my friend and a Grey Warden just like me!" Alistair is furious and nervous; the combo is interesting if a bit clumsy.

"Oh I see a prince and a Grey Warden too. Well who am I to think poorly of someone so high and mighty compared to me? I don’t know you boy. Your royal father forced himself on my mother and took her away from me, and what do I got to show for it? Nothing. They tricked me good! I should have told everyone! I’ve got five mouths to feed and unless you can help then I got no use for you." Goldana turns back to Alistair and is shouting now. 

"I'm sorry; I don't know what to say." Alistair puts one hand up in surrender the other one lands on his blade though. 

"It looks like all she wants is your money." Neria states hardening her gaze on Goldanna. 

"Yes it really seems that way doesn't it? I isn’t expecting my sister to be so; I'm starting to wonder why I came." Alistair keeps an eye on Goldana though turns slightly to regard Neria. 

"I don't know why you came either, or what you expected to find. But it isn't here! Now get out of my home the both of you!" Goldana is waving a rag at them and shooing them away. 

"You don't have to tell me twice." Neria states hand on the door. 

"I agree, let's get out of here," Once the door closes with a thud Neria and Alistair walk towards Genetivi's house. "Well that is, not what I expected to put it lightly. This is the family I've been wondering about all my life? That shrew is my sister? I can't believe it. I guess I was expecting her to accept me without question. Isn’t that what family is supposed to do? I feel like a complete idiot." 

"Everyone is out for themselves, you should really learn that. Though I am sorry this turned out like it did." Neria says apologetically. 

"Yes, I supposed your right, I should. Thank you for coming with me. I'm not sure how I would have dealt with her otherwise." Alistair says quietly. 

"You would have been fine Alistair. You really need to trust your judgment." Neria says smiling at him. 

"We haven't spoken about that argument in weeks, why bring it up now?" Alistair is wary of this discussion. 

"Because we are standing in the city you would rule from. This would be your home; do you feel any connection to it at all?" Neria says arms outstretched to include the whole town. 

"I do, we have time to spend I want to show you a store Teegan and Eamon brought me to when I is young." Neria follows Alistair in the opposite direction of Genetivi's house to a shop called Wonders of Theades Neria gasps once she is in the shop and turns around in wonder. 

"Hello Neria, over here I'm trying to decide on a new necklace. Help me?" Wynne waves her over and Neria smiles and joins the mage at the counter. 

"She looks more beautiful than the sun when she smiles doesn’t she?" Cullen looks to Alistair and he knows the Templar is talking about Neria and not Wynne. 

"She does, she also carries the child of another man." Alistair reminds him. 

"A man she will never trust again." 

"I don’t know about that Templar, have you met me?" Zevran states sliding behind the two men to join the ladies at the counter and he is all suave courtier. 

"5 silvers she gives him the frosty glare and sends him packing." Cullen whispers to Alistair holding the money in his hand. 

"You're on." 

Neria is smiling and laughing with Wynne about a joke when she feels Zevran come up behind her. He casually traces a finger down her back and feels Neria shiver. Wynne sees the shift of the mage, feels her reach for her magic instinctively. Not to cast but to make sure she still can as she turns to glare at Zevran. "You will not touch me. You lost that right assassin. Remove yourself now." Zevran steps back but pretends to look at a book in the case. However the magic of this place is gone and Neria is in full pissed off mode her magic snapping.   
She curses even as she reaches for Cullen who has already stepped up and blocked her from the view of the rest of the shop. "Blue skies, fluffy clouds breathe and let it go like a breath. There, did you want to look at anything else?" Cullen asks not touching her but smiling as she puts a hand on his arm. 

"No, we need to check out Genetivi's house and then gather Sten and Morrigan." Neria says breathing slowly.

Walking past Alistair Cullen says, "Buy the necklace she is looking at" and leads Neria out the door. Alistair approaches the counter but he has no idea. 

"This one Alistair, it's better than the one she wears. She had it in her hand when Zevran approached." Wynne supplies helpfully and pays the Tranquil shop keeper. "I do not agree with your infatuation of her, it will only end in heartbreak but at least pay attention to what she is doing." 

"I, I don’t think of her that way Wynne. Truly I see her as a friend and that is all, after the Dalish. She is carrying Zevran's child. I should have spoken up when he said the earrings were his idea. I just never thought she would react like that." Alistair says stammering. 

"You who didn't want to take your vows because you feel the Chantry trapped you? You who keeps your birthright a secret for as long as possible? You don't think her being told she needed to give up part of herself by the man she loved would cause her to feel betrayed?" Leliana chimes in rolling her eyes. 

"So long as she trusts me in battle I can live with the arm’s length." Alistair says walking out the door. 

"Can you stand to watch her with another man, another Templar?" Leliana says watching Cullen and Neria. She walks in front of him always within reach of his shield arm; she does the same thing with Alistair. 

"Cullen has demons of his own when it comes to Neria, if he can overcome them he is welcome to any happiness he can get." Alistair says hollowly. 

As they approach Genetivi's house Zevran reaches to keep Neria from touching the door and is batted away by Cullen. "There is a dead body in there cara, be careful." Zevran says and it's Alistair that opens the door. This house is tiny but well appointed. A middle age man steps out of the room on the right and greets them. 

"Can I help you?" 

"Brother Genetivi?" Alistair asks Neria and Zevran are with him along with Cullen. 

"No, I am his research assistant Wayne; I haven't seen or heard from Genetivi in months." 

"Liar." Zevran says and is across the room with another door open and a look of disgust on his face. 

"How dare you go into the professor's office!" Wayne tries to cast a fireball but is smited by Alistair Cullen pulling Neria out of range in time. Zevran is on the man in a moment pushing pressure points and smiling. 

"You will tell me where your master is or I get to have a lot of fun." Wayne is blinking up at them but unable to move as Zevran crouches over him. 

"Lake Calenhad that is the last time I saw him. He is headed west towards Honnleath." 

"Are you even the real Wayne?" Zevran asks.

"No I killed him." 

"Life for a life then." Zevran slits Wayne's throat and Neria sighs at the dramatics. 

"Ugh, okay now I can smell the body mind going through the office and seeing if he has anything interesting?" Neria asks the men and Zevran produces a journal. 

"It's in cipher though so I can't read it." Neria holds out her hand for the book and Zevran touches her fingers and then jumps back shaking his hand. "Braksa Neria, that is not funny."   
Neria smiles at the small electricity she shot through him. 

"I thought so." Neria flips the book open and studies it. Smiling she heads into another room and looks for a book that is moved frequently. Finding what she is looking for she opens the book and grabs a quill and paper. It takes only moments for her to figure it out and she smiles. "Haven, Genetivi is headed to Haven. Here is the map to it; we can head there when we   
leave here." 

"Do you want to try and clear out Soldier's Peak on the way? It would be nice to have our base back. Plus there might be stores there to make Cullen and whoever else wants to a real Warden." Alistair says looking at her as she continues to write. 

"No, I want to get these Ashes and get the Arl up. Teegan is holding someone important to me and I want him loose as soon as possible." Neria says absently still writing. 

"He swore he wouldn't hurt him anymore Neria. He would keep his word." Alistair says and Neria locks eyes with him. 

"I want Jowen free." Neria says in challenge. 

"Jowen? Blood mage that is responsible for your becoming a Grey Warden so you wouldn't rot in Aeonar?" Cullen says angrily. 

"Yes." Neria answers. 

"No, absolutely not Neria I cannot, I will not travel with him." Cullen makes a dismissive motion with his hand. 

"Cullen, least you forget you are a recruit and Wardens accept all during a blight even blood mages." Neria says sweetly. 

"Please Neria; I beg you see reason on this. Please do not make him a Warden. You might regret it one day." Alistair is with Cullen on this. 

"Jowen goes free." Neria is trying to control her tears. 

"Cara, he will be hunted until the end of his days, do you really think he will be able to deal with that?" Zevran tries to reason with her now. 

"No, he cannot deal with that; I will make him a Warden." Neria says getting up. 

"Alistair?" Cullen says. 

"He saved Conner, granted he killed Isolde though I have no love loss there. Eamon may not let him go Neria." Alistair says grasping at straws. 

"Then I will conscript him." Neria says glaring at all the men. 

"Fine. It's up to you but his choice will be simple. Either he joins the Grey Wardens and swears fealty to you or he dies." Alistair says and gets up from the table. 

"We need to leave and get out of the city. We dare not tarry long in Loghain's territory." Zevran says getting nervous. 

They leave and head to Haven. As they travel they meet a merchant who gives Neria a control rod and tells her the Golem is in Honnleath. "Not far from Haven, I vote we stop might be interesting." Neria says. One night in camp Neria lies quietly in her tent trying to fall asleep when Zevran comes into the tent. "Zevran, what do you want?" 

"I want to get back into your good graces. That is the necklace you were looking at when we were in the shop." 

"Wynne bought it for me, it’s better than the one I have." 

"Yes it is, now how do I get back into your good graces?" Zevran asks his hands at his sides. 

"You don't Zevran, we are done. This is for your own good. All I can do is hurt you Zevran. Every day that passes my magic grows and gets more and more out of control. If I survive the blight I will return to the tower, I might return to Aeonar. For all the pain I suffered there I was happy and lonely. But my magic can run free and they don't always keep me bound." He steps towards her and she holds her hand out to him. "No Zevran." Neria forgets how fast the assassin can move and he is kissing her. Hands run over her and Neria moans as his fingers find the hem of her robes. Tracing from her hip to her clit he pushes the little bud and Neria gasps allowing him to kiss her more deeply. Zevran loses himself as he slips one finger and then another in. Neria feels her magic spiral up as she draws close to orgasm and tries to remember if her bracelet is on. Looking at it she sees it is and fights to rein her magic in as she shatters under Zevran's ministrations. Suddenly Zevran is flying through the air and Neria is screaming in fear. 

Neria's tent is in flames and in the middle of it sits Neria her magic swirling in her self-erected force field. "I'm sorry; I'm sorry oh please be okay. I didn't mean to please help me." Neria is on her knees her head down her hands on her ears. 

"Those that do not want to be burned need to gather by me, that force field is going to go down before her flames will." Morrigan says at the gathering crowd around Neria. 

"Neria! ENOUGH! Stop it now!" Alistair bellows marching towards the flames. 

"Sten stop him, he's going to make her worse. Where is Cullen?" Morrigan says and Sten grabs Alistair as he storms past. 

"Maker's Mercy, what happened? Morrigan are you ready?" Cullen says getting there and taking in the scene. 

"Yes, 3,2,1" Morrigan answers Cullen and casts her bubble spell as Neria's force field flickers and gouts of flame escape. 

"Neria STOP IT! CONTROL YOURSELF" Alistair is trying to control her, he is furious at her. 

"Shut him up, now. I'll deal with him when I get Neria calmed down." Cullen says angrily. Sten glares at Alistair but it is Morrigan that casts silence on him and smiles as Alistair starts yelling and nothing comes out. 

"Templars where are you? Help me please, I can't stop." Neria is terrified and crying. Putting his helmet on Cullen walks into the flames casting cleanse as he does. Neria's flames sputter and the force field goes out. Flames wash outward and over Morrigan's bubble. Sweat is on the witch's brow as she forces more magic into the spell. Wynne cast rejuvenate on Morrigan and pours a lyrium potion into her mouth. 

"Is she weakening at all?" Leliana asks. 

"No, Cullen's cleanse isn't enough. He might have to smite her, though I am not sure that would be wise at this point. She is utterly terrified and that might piss her off more than stop her." 

"Can you cast sleep on her?" Wynne asks. 

"No, I can hold the bubble or I can cast sleep, I cannot do both."

Cullen is casting cleanse after cleanse and it is not working. He doesn't want to smite her but he is running out of options. Morrigan's energies are flagging. "Neria, I'm here. Templars are here to help you I need you to think cold thoughts. Let the flames go." Cullen dares not touch her. Neria's flames freeze solid suddenly and the icy air stings Cullen's lungs as he breathes in. "Good job, now let's let the cold go gently. No slinging it at me okay? You don't want to hurt anyone." 

"Cullen? Is my bracelet turned on?" Neria asks and Cullen looks at it. 

"Yes and its blinking blue." 

"I think we are going to have to put the rest of the earrings in and the manacles." Neria is crying but speaks softly. 

"You won't be able to cast." Cullen says worriedly. 

"But I won't hurt anyone." Neria is crying and her tears cut them all deeply. 

Neria is sleeping in the spare tent with a spell from Morrigan and weighed down in so much mage metal she can hardly move. Cullen grabs Alistair by the chest plate and smacks him across the face with his gauntlet hand. Alistair's mouth and nose both gush blood though not enough to stop him from taking a swing at the older man. Cullen dodges the blow and smiles. He has been practicing with the rouges on his dexterity and footwork and it is paying off. "Why would you attack Neria? She is terrified and you thought yelling at her to control it would work? Where did you get your training from? Have you ever actually been around mages?" Cullen pushes Alistair as he says this anger at the man evident. 

"She needed to control her magic." Alistair holds a cloth to his nose trying to control his bleeding nose. 

"Primal mages are ticking time bombs of emotions. Their magic is tied to their emotions. It's what makes them so powerful and unpredictable." Cullen lectures. 

"I did not take my vows so no I have never trained with mages like Neria." Alistair has his nose under control. 

Cullen smiles at that. "There are no mages like Neria. There is no rationalizing her when she doesn’t want to, an argument with her is dancing with death, hell her laughter can make it snow, start a fire or electrocute you, sometimes all three at once. You gain her trust and do not ever betray her. She does not forgive because something will trigger the memory and the emotions and you're dousing your favorite cloak in privy water. You keep her calm and make sure you can vacate the space around her quickly or convince her to bind herself. She is mischievous, beautiful and deadly." Alistair and Cullen have moved away from the camp as they speak. 

"She told me if she survived the blight she wants to go back to the tower or Aeonar, it is the only place she would be safe." Zevran states as he comes out of the shadow. 

"Interesting." Cullen says thoughtful. 

"Eavesdropping again I see." Alistair glares at the assassin. 

"She's agreed to be bound." Cullen interrupts the glare match. 

"If we run into trouble?" Zevran asks worriedly. 

"She can remove the manacles if she needs to. When we return to Redcliffe I want to work with the smith, we might be able to make another bracelet like the one she already wears."   
Cullen says closing his eyes in resignation.


	18. Temples of Ashes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Everyone is out for themselves, you should really learn that.”- Neria

Honnleath is tiny and being attacked by dark-spawn when they arrive there. Taking care of those the group finds the Golem but the rod doesn't work. "Interesting, let’s see if we can't find the other villagers." Neria says heading into the cellar of one of the houses. More dark-spawn that are easily dealt with and then they met Matthias who says his daughter; Amelia has run through the traps of his father's study and needed help. Wynne is busy healing; Neria takes Sten, Morrigan and Cullen with her into the traps. There are pretty crystals both Morrigan and Neria collect along with wraiths and an ash wraith. 

When they get to the last room they find Amelia talking to a cat. It is a striking orange tabby but Neria knows what it is when it started talking to them. "Let me out and you may have the girl, that puzzle there on the floor is what keeps me here." 

Morrigan looks at it and smiles. "Deal." Neria says as Morrigan tells her and the others where to move the bowls of flame to get from one end of the puzzle to the other. When it is broken Neria motions to Amelia and the girl runs back towards her father. They set upon the desire demon immediately and defeat it. 

"You're here for the Golem aren't you?" Matthias states as he ruffles Amelia’s hair. 

"Yes." Neria states and shows him the control rod.

"You are welcome to it but it’s not allowed back into the town once you leave with it. It killed my father." 

"Understood." Neria heads out to the statue and says the command. Shale springs to life if a bit reluctantly. 

"I knew that the day would come when someone would find the control rod. Of course it is another mage. That is what it is, yes? Yes. Just my luck." 

"How do you know I am a mage?" Neria asks nervous. 

"It thinks these crystals are simply for show. I see if it thinks I cannot sense the energies it commands" and Shale snorts. "I stood here in this spot and watched the wretched little villagers scurry around me for oh I have no idea how long, many many years." 

"Oh you poor dear, that would be really really boring." Leliana chimes in.

"And the villagers had no idea they are being watches? Creepy." Alistair says. 

"I would think you would be grateful to the one who allowed you to stretch your legs Golem" Morrigan states. 

"Hmm, another mage I see, charming. I was just beginning to get used to the quiet too. Tell me are all the villagers dead?" 

"No, some are just fine." Cullen says edgily. 

"Some got away then? How unfortunate." 

"You didn’t care for them I take it." Morrigan quips arching an eyebrow. 

"Familiarity breeds contempt, as they say and after thirty years or so as a captive audience I was as familiar with these villagers as one can possibly be. Not that I wished their fate on them, no, but it did make for a delightful change of pace. Well go on then out with it, what is it's command?" Shale waves a hand in a go on motion. 

"You'll follow my commands?" Neria asks brows raised. 

"Shouldn't I? My last master certainly enjoyed waving that rod about Golem fetch me that chair, do be a good Golem and squash that insipid bandit and let’s not forget Golem pick me up, I tire of walking. It does have the control rod doesn't it? I am awake, so it must." 

"Is something wrong?" Neria asks looking at the rod in her hand. 

"I see the control rod yet I feel, go on order me to do something." 

"Okay walk around." Neria says shrugging.

"Nothing, I feel nothing. I feel no compulsion to carry out its command. I supposed this means the rod is broken?" 

"Shouldn't you have happy about that?" Leliana asks. 

"Hmm, I suppose if I can't be commanded this means, I have free will, yes? It is simply what should I do? I have no memories beyond watching this village for so long I have no purpose. I find myself at a bit of a loss. What about it? It must have awoken me for some reason, no? What did it intend to do with me?" Shale is focused on Neria and it makes her shiver. 

"I really haven't given it much thought." Neria says shrugging.

"I see, wonderful. I supposed I have two options, do I not? Go with it or go elsewhere? I do not even know what lies beyond this village." 

"Come with us, it might be interesting." Neria says and smiles at Shale. 

"Are you certain you want to bring that thing with us? It can be dangerous and large." Alistair says nervously. 

"Portable battering ram Alistair, think of the possibilities. Plus it's fire proof which means it can protect you from me." Neria says warming up to the idea. 

"Good point." Cullen says smiling. 

"I will follow it about then, for now. I am called Shale by the way." 

"Neria, Alistair, Morrigan, Leliana, Wynne, Sten, Cullen and Zevran." Neria introduces the others and herself. Done with introductions they head for Haven.  
Haven is a tiny town like Honnleath but where Haven has a Reverend Mother and is welcoming, Haven is not. "We do not like Lowlanders in Haven." He is a surly man though not   
impressive compared with Neria's entourage but he is insistent. 

"We are sorry for bothering you." Neria says and takes her group back down the road a bit. "Zev, Leliana figure out what they are hiding we will stay here for the moment." Neria sits down to talk to the trees. She takes off her wrist manacles and her ankle ones and tosses them a bit away from her. Her magic runs towards her in a rush and she breathes in deeply smiling. Flowers bloom around her and the bitter winter grass turns green Air around her smells like summer and Wynne laughs enjoying the little piece of spring in this harsh place. 

"Interesting." Cullen says and looks at Morrigan and Wynne. Both of the mages are watching Neria in wonder and she laughs like a child in her little spring bubble. 

"That isn't her magic." Alistair is trying to figure out what he senses. 

"It doesn't taste right, younger more innocent." Cullen is mystified.

“It is her child. Such is the way with mages; it is why we must leash them." Sten says standing behind Morrigan so he misses her look of anger. 

Neria is oblivious to the commotion around her. "That is creation magic; it can cast creation as well as primal but this is not hers." Shale is watching with narrowed eyes. 

Zevran and Leliana come in and Neria's eyes fly open at Zevran motioning him over. Leliana is turning in a circle and burying her fingers in the flowers. Zevran comes to Neria and she pulls him to sit behind her and puts his hand on her stomach. Their child is active under his hand and Zevran smiles real joy in this moment. Wynne and then Leliana join in on touching the child. "Wonders will never cease to amaze me. I'll remember this, thank you Neria." Neria smiles when Wynne says this and cocks her head at Morrigan. 

"I cannot and well you know it, my entropy will destroy your little paradise." Neria frowns but understands. When Alistair goes to step forward Cullen stops him. 

"No Templars, we do not want her child to trust them. That child must not trust us." Cullen says 

"But she does." Alistair says confused. 

"She has to." Cullen says and Alistair knows the man is right. 

"Genetivi is there, there is also a path up the mountain that is heavily guarded. They make blood sacrifices." Zevran says running a finger down Neria's face and stepping away from her. Neria lets the magic go and puts her manacles back on hiding the pain and turning her bracelet on. 

Neria stiffens her spine and turns her bracelet off catching Cullen's eye as she does it. Approaching the guard Neria is bristling with anger though its ice that pours off of her and her companions. "We merely wish to visit your shop good Ser, would you allow us that small courtesy." 

"Yes though watch yourselves." Neria nods and passes the man and they head to one of the houses. Entering it there is an alter on the right hand side that takes up the entire wall. 

"Interesting." Neria says approaching it. 

"Used for meat prep maybe?" Wynne asks innocently. 

"Crows do sacrifices, it gives them uncanny strength and cunning. This looks like what they do." Neria lifts and eyebrow at the admission from Zevran but otherwise says nothing. 

"This is not okay Neria, they are killing people here." Wynne says and Neria nods. Leaving the house they finally find the shop. It’s not well appointed but it does have some flasks and concentrate which Neria desperately needs for the bigger poultices. There is another room and Zevran slides a thumb under his chin the way he did when they has found the body in Denerim. Neria is loath to kill these villagers though and hooks her hair behind her ear capturing Zevran's attention. 

"The village seems empty where is everyone?" Leliana asks. 

"Chantry, Father Erik is giving a sermon." A child says playing in the dirt with what looks like a finger bone. 

"Father Erik? Where is your Reverend Mother?" Cullen asks. 

"We have no such thing here; it has always been Fathers that have led us." 

Nodding Neria murmurs her thanks to the child and states, "Everyone to church, we need to pray for some sins." 

Leaving the shop Zevran joins them shortly. "It is a Redcliffe knight. We need to end this." Neria nods and they approach the Chantry. "Are we committing sins or being forgiven of them?" Zevran asks boldly listening to the swell of voices out of the church. 

"Both." Neria says and drops her manacles in her pack. Flames burst forth on her frame and she throws her head back smiling. "Oh that feels so much better." 

"We are blessed beyond measure; we are chosen by the Holy and Beloved to be Her guardians. This sacred duty is given to us alone; rejoice my brothers and prepare your hearts to receive her. Lift up your voices and despair not, for she will raise her faithful servants to glory when her, ah welcome. I heard we had visitors wandering around the village. I trust you have enjoyed your time in Haven so far?" Father Erik says watching the group enter the church.

"It's been enlightening." Neria says flames still licking up and down her skin. Erik is their holy leader and a mage, the irony is not lost on the companions. 

"That is all for now my faithful followers, I need to tend to our guests." Most of the villagers get up and start milling around unsure what to do or where to go.

"But we have not received benediction or sung our revelry." One lady says and Father shakes his head and smiles. 

"Andraste will forgive you for this Edina; I have business with these travelers. Guards." Guards escort the villagers out and Neria relaxes a little. "How can I help you?" Erik looks at them but focuses on Neria with her display of flames. 

"We have found bloody alters and dead knights. Do you know where Brother Genetivi is?" Neria asks stepping forward to circle the mage. 

"Now, you have invaded our privacy, are damming traditions you do not understand and accusing us of capturing and holding someone we have never heard of." 

"You commit murder for a false reason, you hold a man against his will." Neria accuses stepping forward again and tracing a finger down the arm of the mage. Ice spreads up and down   
from the stroke and the mage looks at her closely. "I know Genetivi is here, I know you hold him and you will release him." Neria says confidently. 

"This is why outsiders are not allowed into Haven. Kill them." Erik yells and goes to hit her in the chest with Paralyze as flames catch from her to him and consume him in moments. Guards fall quickly to the companions and Neria takes the medallion off the charred corpse. Cullen reaches out to her and she takes his hand letting the cleanse wash over her even as she turns her bracelet on. 

"More fighting ahead I think." Leliana is already praying over the fallen men and Morrigan rolls her eyes. 

"He is behind this false wall and he needs medical assistance." Zevran says tripping the catch for the door to open. Wynne hurries after him and Neria smiles as Leliana is already tossing the Father's office for juicy information. Shortly though she throws her hands in the air. 

"It is as if the entire village thinks the outside world doesn't exist. Though someone from the outside world is watching Genetivi" Folding these papers and putting them in her pack Neria goes to see how Wynne is doing with Genetivi 

"His leg is badly broken. I can set it but that is about it." 

"Set it and I will heal it Wynne." Neria says knowing her magic is stronger than Wynne's. 

"Thank the maker you are not from this village. Sacred Urn is right up that mountain, I have never been so close. Father has a medallion, we will need it." Genetivi is rambling to mask the pain as Wynne sets the leg. When Wynne nods Neria casts heal on the man and then rejuvenate 

"Anyone have any injuries?" Neria asks and no one says anything. "This medallion?" Neria hands the man the necklace and Genetivi nods.

"If you will help me up the mountain I will be thankful." Neria nods and it is Shale who ends up carrying the man. 

"Thank you Shale. I mean it; I will not impose on you to do this often. You are a valued member of the team not a beast of burden." Neria says when they reach the top and Genetivi is messing with the door. 

"I appreciate what it says to me. I know it does not treat me as my former master does and I am grateful. I only wish it were not so squishy." 

"Me too Shale, me too." Neria says. 

"Oh what I would have given to see this when it is first built." Genetivi says and Neria is in shock too. Vaulted ceilings past where she can see are held up by pillars of stone that are all carved. "This was built shortly after Andraste died; this entire temple is an accurate depiction of her life and death. It's amazing." Genitive continues but both Leliana and Zevran have moved closer to the front to shush the man.

"There are cultists all over the place in here cara." Zevran whispers and Neria ignores the shiver that chases up her spin and the heat that pools low. 

"If you don’t mind I think I will stay down here while you explore the rest. I trust your bard to regale me with its beauty when she can." Genetivi winks at Leliana and she nods.

"Leliana, Shale, Wynne and Alistair, head left. Sten, Zevran, Cullen, Morrigan and I will head right and see what we find." Neria says nodding to the two wings. 

"I am betting this is built like most other temples in it will have main chamber, hallways with rooms and then another main room. We can meet in the next big room." Alistair says and everyone nods heading off to their directions. 

"Books! Maker's Mercy look at the books!" Wynne exclaims as they enter one chamber. Leliana is shuffling through the papers and books and stuffs some into her pack. Wynne does the same while Alistair looks pained to have found this library. Cultists attack them on site though and they move through the rooms quickly. 

"This artwork, I am sure Sten would appreciate it." Shale says surprising the group. 

"What is that soup you made for supper last night?" Leliana asks Alistair. 

"Oh, lamb and pea soup. Did you like it?" Alistair is looking through books half-heartedly. 

"That was lamb? It has a different texture for lamb." Leliana stops her search of papers to level a surprised look at Alistair

"They didn’t make lamb and pea stew for you in Lothering?" Alistair asks smiling. 

"We ate simply there, whole grains for breads and fresh fruits and vegetables from the garden cooked lightly, no heavy stews." Leliana says riffling through more papers. 

"Ah so the last lamb you probably had was Orlesian style. Food doesn’t need to be frilly and pretentious like that, here in Ferelden we do it right. We put all of our ingredients into the   
largest pot we can find and cook it as long as possible until everything is a uniform gray color. As soon as it looks completely bland and unappetizing I know it's done." Alistair says trying not to laugh.

"You're having me on." Leliana glares at Alistair. 

"Ha, you need to eat at more Ferelden inns.” They laugh together as they enter the next room. This room has a huge chest and Leliana sets to it with her lock picks. "I will never get over   
how quietly you can move around." Alistair says in admiration. 

"It took me years and years to practice that but I am not even very good at it." Leliana says looking at the lock and concentrating. 

"So you didn’t do a lot of sneaking around as a bard?" Alistair asks curious. 

"I did but we were all good at different things. I preferred to be seen so long as I did not stand out too much. I specialized in blending in, not drawing attention and looking like I belonged   
there. It is invisibility of a different kind." Leliana says smiling when the lock finally gives. 

"Ah yes but I heard you often seduced your targets, they'd remember you." Alistair says slyly. 

"Not if they died. Dying while in the company of a beautiful seductress, tell me that is not a good death?" Leliana says with a wolfish grin at Alistair. 

"I don’t know if I should take you seriously right now but you scare me sometimes." Alistair shakes his head at the bard.

Morrigan smiles as another cultist falls to her magic and glances at Sten to see him watching her and she smiles slightly, "So are you going to continue to stare at me as if I am covered in eels?" 

"Eels would be something." Sten says moodily. 

"Prudery, how charming I expected paranoia, this is much better. I prefer to be stared at lustfully if at all." Morrigan puts a hand on her hip. 

"Keep trying then." Sten says it blandly though smiling slightly. 

"Oh, then shall I demonstrate an act or two and you can tell me hot or cold?" Morrigan bates her lashes at Sten. 

"I will save you time, cold." Sten says trying to remain stoic. 

“OH you are a tease." Morrigan says and Neria is trying so hard to keep a straight face and fails at the exchange. Opening another door they find an armory of sorts and set to seeing if   
any of it is worth keeping. So far the expedition has yielded a key for the south chamber that has a ton of potions and another key to the main hall. Books, Neria is in heaven and wants to show Wynne when she gets a chance and artwork which Sten is admiring. "So have you changed your mind Sten, if you must know I dream of you and I." As Morrigan says this she traces a finger from neck to pants across the massive chest piece. 

"You tease me too much witch, desists this instant." Sten says crossing his arms. 

"It sounds as if I am arousing your interest." Morrigan casts a seductive look at Sten. 

"Pashira! You push me too far." Neria knows she isn't supposed to hear this but they are taking a break in one of the many rooms and this one is an office with a private study. Sten has   
gone in to look at the artwork and Morrigan has followed. "We cannot here, you know this yet you tease me still." She must have done something because Sten growls and Morrigan sighs.   
Moving away Neria goes to sit with Cullen knowing Zevran's eyes are on her. "Why didn't you send him with the other group and bring Leliana with us?" 

"He wouldn't have gone, I still carry his child and I still love him. I just can't forgive him. He swore an oath to me to protect me." Neria answers keeping an eye on Zevran as he moves around the room ever looking the lethal predator he is. 

"He's done a decent job at it though I think he is also part of the reason you have issues with control. Even now your eyes dilate; you go flush and your magic spikes." Cullen says seriously. 

"I," Neria shakes her head and breathes the magic away. Getting up she follows Morrigan out but giggles when she sees Sten come out of the room with ice in his hair. 

"What did you say to the sexy enchantress to get yourself iced?" Zevran asks. 

"I am not sure." 

"Shall I show you how it is done?" Zevran offers. 

"Now this I have to see." Cullen chimes in. 

Joining the rest of the group in the next main hall Neria calls a halt for the night. All of them are exhausted. "Has anyone told you what marvelous eyes you possess my dear?" Zevran sits beside Morrigan at a table and lounges seductively. Neria raises an eyebrow at Cullen and he shows her a coin. Understanding dawns and she settles in for a show. 

"Again with the flattery! I am not interested." Morrigan narrows her eyes at Zevran. 

"In Antiva women are accustomed to being showered with the praise they deserve. Men should worship at your feet as you pass." Zevran purrs this and Neria is not immune to the charms   
herself. 

"They don't find that incredibly annoying?" Morrigan cuts a look at Zevran. 

"They are goddesses receiving their subjects just as you should be. Whatever would be annoying about that?" Zevran says it with just the right about of sincerity. 

"I have no wish to be placed upon a pedestal." Morrigan says hesitantly. 

"But you deserve no less, you should be admired by painters, copied by sculptors, exalted by poets, surely you know yours is a beauty so exotic it would turn the gaze of the maker   
himself." Zevran says leaning forward and catching Morrigan's eyes and running a finger from her wrist to her elbow. 

"Well I suppose I." 

"And there we go. I think you owe me five silvers yes?" Zevran looks at Alistair and winks. 

"Maker's breath you are right, you win I guess." 

"Thank You." 

"You are a master indeed Zevran. You win the bet fair and square." Leliana shakes her head. 

"Much obliged madam." 

"I hate you all." Morrigan states and storms off making a rude gesture as she goes and Sten glares at the elf and then winks. 

Joining Morrigan by the rest of the dishes Neria starts doing them and handing them to the mage in silence. "I now see what you see in him.”

"That was cruel of him but yes, he is something." Neria says looking over her shoulder at him. 

"You truly will never forgive him?" Morrigan asks looking at Neria sadly. 

"Would you?" Neria counters returning her gaze to Morrigan. 

"He thought he was helping." Morrigan says earnestly. 

"He should have asked me, he is not a mage, he does not know how painful these manacles are, and how every single day my magic is bound I feel more and more dead." Neria says sadly. 

"He would if you would tell him. You both have had a great amount of pain in your life, both self-inflicted and inflicted on you.“ Morrigan takes another dish and drying it. 

“I would not ask him not to kill." Neria says defensively. 

"He chooses. He is trying to give you that choice." Morrigan's fervor is admirable but Neria shakes her head. 

"I cannot, I will not risk him. What is the point when we both know I cannot be with him unbound? When this is over, I will go to Aeonar and be free with my magic." Neria says drying the   
rest of the dishes with a wave of her hand. 

"Even after all you suffered there?" Morrigan can’t hide the shiver that goes through her at the thought of the prison.

"I was happy there, for every painful memory there are two happy ones, or at least times when I was by myself." Neria smiles at a memory. 

"There is a chance after you have the babe your magic will settle." Morrigan offers debating reaching out to Neria. 

"Small miracles I would never ask for. It is a creation mage; it gave me heaven for a short time. It will grow up free and loved. It is all any of us can ask of our children." 

"During the fade," Neria shakes her head and Morrigan stops. "I am trying to deal with Alistair, I know it wasn't him. I know he would never." 

"You are afraid of him, use Cullen as the buffer and work towards working together with him again. Time may be your healing." Morrigan says walking away. 

Rejoining the group Neria walks over to her pack and pulls her bedroll and sets it in the farthest corner away from everyone. Alistair sets his on her side several paces away from her. Cullen does the same on the other wall. Together with the walls they created a square for Neria to sleep. She drops her robes to stand in her shift and sits down to put her manacles on. "Ready?" Cullen asks and Neria nods. He approaches and slides a finger down each of her ears and checks her wrists hooking the chain that goes to them and then her ankles. Lying down on her pallet she crosses her arms and tries to not cry out as Cullen secures her to the floor. "I wish we had your board, we should have grabbed it when we were at the Tower." Cullen speaks trying to keep her mind off what he is doing. 

"I do not miss that thing; it is as hard as a rock and heavy. Bodhan would probably charge us extra just to carry that thing around with us." Neria smiles speaking of the dwarven merchant that follows them around. 

"It would have sucked carrying it up the mountain." Cullen agrees smiling and leaning over Neria. For what Neria is not sure, he is breathing heavy and Neria is well aware she is at his mercy bound to the floor. Cullen catches himself and straightens up and walks away. 

“Morrigan?” Zevran says and the witch glares at him. “That is fair, I am sorry for my behavior but I did not mean it to be cruel.” Zevran has his hands up in surrender. 

“Fair enough, that is not why you came over here though.” Morrigan knows this man too well. 

“What happened in the tower? Why does Neria shy away from Alistair and me for that matter?” Zevran is close to her and Morrigan watches the hurt flicker over his face. 

“You made your own bed with her Zevran, you who have inflicted and been inflicted on thought it a great idea to offer her chains. Alistair and her had complications in the fade that is all I   
can say about it. I swore I would not talk about it.” Morrigan says her lips set in a line when Zevran turns away from what she says. 

“I thought the earrings would help her, I would do anything to get close to her to keep her happy. If Alistair hurt her I will kill him.” Zevran says looking at Alistair as he settles in to sleep. 

“He didn't and that is the saddest part of the entire thing.” Morrigan refuses to answer any more. Zevran gives up and goes to find Wynne. 

"Did they have to bind you when you were pregnant Wynne?" Zevran asks looking at the elderly mage who watches Neria sleep. They have first watch and Zevran hates the sound of Neria's chains as she moves and twitches in her sleep. 

"Yes, it is common though I have not known many mages who need to be bound like her. All primal mages though and I was because my son was strong." Wynne smiles slightly at the memory. 

Next day they stick together and get through the rest of the tower and into caves. Dragons, drakes and more cultists are the menu of the day and Neria is happy there are no spiders. She can handle the dragons and the drakes; their fire is a relief to her. "I swear it feels like we are going in circles." 

"We are not; Morrigan has been marking the passages as we pass." Zevran says and stops the group to remove a trap. Around another bend there is a huge chamber. 

"Stop you will go no further." A warrior says, he is in full plate and carries a wicked looking two hander on his back. Neria sees there is another warrior next to him and a couple of mages spread through the chamber. They are outnumbered 2 to 1. 

"Who are you?" Neria asks her group fanning out behind them. 

"You do not have the right to demand my name. You have defiled our temple, spilled the blood of the faithful and slaughtered our young. No more! You will tell me now intruder why you have done all of this." As he says this he walked closer to Neria until he is close to her though he stops. "Why have you come here?" He is tall and impressive in his rage. But so is Sten who stands right behind Neria and she smiles knowing the man has taken note of the great blade that rides his back. 

"Tell me your name and I will tell you why I am here." Neria states crossing her hands over her chest and trying to look intimidating.

"I am Father Kolgrim, leader and guide to the Disciples of Andraste. Kill us and you will face Andraste, she will smell our blood and the blood of her children and her wrath will be great." 

"Children? You mean the dragons? Is Andraste a dragon now?" Morrigan asks unimpressed with the man. 

"She is so much more she is more glorious than all of the old gods combined. Prophet Andraste has overcome death itself and has returned to her faithful in a form more radiant than you can imagine." Kolgrim states enthusiastically. 

"Anyone else picturing a gold dragon with rainbow horns?" Alistair whispers and Neria almost loses her straight face as Kolgrim paces between her and the other warrior gesturing wildly. 

"She is so powerful even the Tiventur Imperium would be unable to slay her what hope do you have?" 

"Would you accept an apology then?" Neria asks not sure how to deal with this mad man. 

"Would an apology bring back the dead or clean up the blood off of these walls? What can you do to make this better, perhaps there is a way." 

"Why do you suddenly want to cooperate with me?" Neria asks warily. 

"It may be because I believe in second chances. All of us stumble in the dark before being shown the light. Perhaps through Andraste's grace her greatest enemy will become her greatest Champion." Kogrim is pacing in front of Neria and gesturing as he speaks. 

"All right what do you want?" Morrigan asks and Neria admires the witch’s skill for getting to the bottom of things.

"Atop this mountain lay the mortal remains of Andraste. The urn is watches by an immortal guardian; he is trapped in the past and refuses to accept the risen Andraste. Now the ashes prevent her from fully realizing her new form. They are the remains of a past incarnation and she cannot move on as long as they exist." 

"Get to the point already." Wynne says and Neria is surprised and secretly amused. 

"She needs to reclaim the ashes, all it would take is a drop of her blood, carries strength, knowledge, power everything she would need to return the strength to our lady." Kolgrim is on a roll and the companions nod their heads amazed at his skills. 

"Why have you not done this yourselves then?" Morrigan is not beguiled by this man, thinks this man is as insane as Leliana

"The guardian has foiled all of our attempts to reach the urn. We cannot touch him as he draws his power from the ashes themselves. You can deliver our Lady Andraste to her final grace; the rewards for such a task would be great indeed." 

"Won't the Guardian know us as well?" Sten asks glowering at Kolgrim which sends the man pacing again though not as close to Neria as before. 

"No, he waits for pilgrims to come to venerate the ashes; he will assume you are those. The task is simple, I give you a vial of the blood and you pour it into the ashes. Whatever magic is held will be broken and our great lady will be free from the shackles of her past life." 

"I can just imagine the grand cleric, if she were here. Her head would explode; I kid you not" Alistair says and Cullen nods in agreement. 

"There is nothing but madness in his words. He is a fanatic and a dangerous one. Be Warned- he means to lead you astray." Sten says forcefully. 

"True but I am not sure we can take this many people on at once." Neria says to the entire group. 

"I'm not sure I like helping this Kolgrim." Alistair says earnestly. 

"And what? Encourage the worship of a large lizard? Consider your actions carefully. Besides I would not allow them to hurt you." Sten is firm and his voice daunting considering where Neria is standing.

"With Kolgrim on our side, we can make it through this entire ordeal with our necks intact." Zevran says and Neria agrees. 

"We will do as you ask." Neria holds her hand up to quiet any further comments.

"Please know the ashes do have some healing properties it might behoove you to save some before you destroy them. Now I shall beseech the holy Andraste to let you pass safely into the   
inner Sanctum." 

"I am going to assume you have something tricky up your sleeve." Alistair says as they follow Kolgrim. Following the man out to the mountaintop Neria breathes deeply of the air happy to be out of the temple. Overhead though they hear a roar and a huge shadow flies over them. Looking up Neria and Alistair look at each other wondering if this is the Arch Demon when it lands and roars in Kolgrim's face Neria lets out the breath she is holding. 

"What?" Zevran asks ever attuned to her. 

"I thought it was the Arch Demon that would be irony even I can't take." Neria says and stops herself from reaching out to trace his tattoo on his face. 

"Easy Andraste, be calm. They come to do your bidding." Andraste dragon roars and then seems to calm and flies up to rest on the cliff. 

"Can you freeze something like that?" Zevran asks and Neria smiles. 

"Let's get through this and I might try." 

"No betting, that is a high dragon and I am not sure it would be worth the risk." Alistair says and Neria bats her lashes at him making him stop and take a deep breath. 

Morrigan laughs and pokes Neria in the back with her staff. "Forward children, Gauntlet to get through." 

Entering the temple there is a sense of peace and welcome that washes over all of them. "You can feel the holiness of this place." Leliana says and most nod in agreement. 

"I bid you welcome. If you prove worthy you will see the ashes of Andraste. If not you will be trapped here." Neria nods her head in understanding at the Guardian that suddenly appears. "I must ask questions of you before you proceed." 

"I have some of my own if you will indulge me." Neria counters. 

"Ask." 

"Who are the men in the other part of the temple?" Neria is curious. 

"When my brethren and I carried Andraste from Tevinter to this sanctuary, we vowed to forever revere her memory, and guard her. I have watches generations of my brethren take up the   
mantle of their fathers. For centuries they did this unwavering, joyful, in their appointed task. But now they have lost their way. They have forgotten Andraste and their promise." 

"Would you like me to get rid of them?" Neria asks earnestly.

"The Maker moves in mysterious ways as does his lady. We all face judgment. Now I must ask you questions. There is suffering in your past, your suffering and the suffering of others. You betrayed Jowen to Irving. He was almost killed, and he lost the one thing that mattered: Lily. Jowen trusted you; do you think you failed Jowen?" 

"No, Jowen lied to me and betrayed himself. But I owe him much." Neria says tears springing to her eyes. 

"Then you do not dwell on past mistakes, neither yours nor someone else's." Guardian tilts his head and regards her kindly.

"It's easy for others to judge what you've done, in hindsight, but it doesn't make it any better." Alistair says and Neria smiles at that. 

"Pashaara, leave the past where it falls." Sten says and Neria smiles at the Qunari. 

"It seems dwelling on past mistakes is a constant preoccupation of the religious mind." Shale says. 

"Is there any religion that does not thrive upon guilt like a glutton at his lunch? I thought not." Morrigan says and Neria truly smiles at the witch.

The Guardian asks Alistair about Duncan and Neria sees the regret and the self-recrimination before he even speaks. Wynne regrets and it is well known she will always regret not doing more. "Shale, the stone giant, there is so little I can draw from you. I feel the distant echo of a soul dormant for so long, now awake. With that awakening, the slow realizations of all you have lost. Ah, Shale your entire existence is a test of your will and courage. You have my respect." Leliana is questioned on her faith and defends it. All of them are proud of her. "Sten, you came to this land as an observer, but you killed a family in a blind rage. Have you failed your people by allowing a Qunari to be seen in that light?" 

"I have never denied that I have failed." Sten says with conviction and though Neria would have offered comfort Morrigan does not. 

"Zevran, many have died at your hand. But is there any you regret more than a woman by the name of." 

"No, I regret none but her death you have your answer enough." Morrigan refuses to play and Alistair laughs at the exchange. 

"Cullen, your hatred of mages runs deep. In your service to the Wardens have you found peace with them?" 

"No, though they make me question all that I have been taught." Cullen says flicking a gaze at Neria. 

"Very well the way is open. Good luck, and may you find what you seek." 

As they walk through the door they are surrounded by ghosts each offering a part of the story of Andraste. Leliana, Wynne and Alistair take turns speaking with the ghosts and answering the riddles. Leliana revels in the telling of who each of the ghosts are and their part. "In the room is Brona, Andraste's mother who tells of the vision she has of her daughters rise and fall. Ealisay is Andraste's best friend and tells how Andraste's song and beauty turned the Maker's gaze. Thane Shartan is the leader of the elven slaves who joined Andraste's rebellion. Lady Vasilia is Archon Hessarion's wife who wanted to show the might of the Imperium's strength. General Maferath is an Avarian leader if the Alamarri armies and the mortal husband of Andraste. It is he who betrayed her out of jealousy. His own sons killed him. Disciple Havard is a childhood friend of Maferath and one of the first disciples of Andraste it is he who stole her ashes and brought them back to Alamarri lands. Archon Hessarion is the Archon of the Tevinter Imperium during the time of Andraste. It is he who ordered Andraste's death by fire and is the one to end her life by sword when the Maker filled him with guilt. He converted to the chant of light and told everyone what General Maferath did to Andraste. Disciple Cathaire is the commander of Andraste's armies and one of her original disciples." As Leliana finishes the door to the next room opens.   
Walking through they are met with ghosts of themselves though not as good. Both Cullen and Alistair smite ghost Neria almost simultaneously and Neria laughs. "Good to see who you think the real threat is here." Ghost Morrigan turns into a spider and chases Neria around ending all mirth on her part as she shoots flames everywhere and finally ices the beast. 

"MORRIGAN! Help, please don't get me!" Neria is hysterical and Morrigan laughs before shooting lightning into herself and shattering it. 

"Who says you need a white knight? There now little elf the spider is dead." Neria nods at Sten and heals her team. Watching Shale battle ghost Shale is interesting until real Shale throws a   
rock that hits Zevran and slams him against the wall. 

"Zev!" Neria catches the ghost Zev's knives on her staff and pushes it back keeping it from him. Flames spread all over Neria and she smiles at the ghost Zevran as it tries to get past her staff to stab her. 

"Haven't you burned me enough cara? Haven't you caused me enough pain? Let me end it for you then you would not cause any more pain, would not kill anyone else." Neria shuts off her magic in a whoosh that hits Alistair and Cullen causing both to look at her. Cullen knocks the ghost Zevran away and decapitates it. "Cara? I, I don’t think that. I would never." 

"No, Zevran you do or it would not have said it. I, I we are done. You are free to do as you like, leave or stay as you see fit. I will not cause you anymore pain I am sorry I ever thought this would work." Neria admits woodenly. 

Next room is a true puzzle with a set of runes on each side and a chasm to cross. "Hmm, I think if we step on these it might form a bridge." Alistair says though it is Sten who figures out the correct combination to get them across. He barks orders like a commander and all obey. Zevran stays well away from Neria and Cullen is impressed with Neria's emotional stability which keeps her magic in check. 

Entering the last chamber there are flames and Neria smiles. "Approach the ashes as you entered the world." The Guardian says from behind them. 

"I'm out then." Neria says and stays put. 

"Why?" Wynne asks. 

"I entered this world naked and unbound and to cross that I must be that. If I unbind myself I will bring this entire temple down on top of us and kill all of you." Neria says and shakes her   
head. 

"Then I will approach the ashes." Leliana says and Neria nods, of them all she is worthy. Leliana steps out of her armor and piles it on the altar. Lithe lines and toned muscle is Leliana nary a scar on her and she tosses a smile over at Alistair as she walks through the flames. 

"You have been found worthy you may approach the ashes." Flames wink out and Leliana approaches the ashes with the rest behind her. 

"I thank you for this Warden, I will never forget it." Wynne says in reverence. 

"We actually did it, I never thought but we did it." Alistair says. 

"I have no intention of defiling the ashes; I just didn't like our odds with Kolgrim in that chamber. We will likely have to kill him when we leave here and maybe the dragon." Neria says to the group. 

"For now here is the pouch of ashes for Eamon. I wonder what is in that chest." Leliana asks. 

"No worries for clothes?" Wynne asks as Leliana hands the pouch to Neria and opens the chest. 

"Oh maker." 

"These Leliana are for you. You have proven yourself devout in your beliefs." The Guardian says and shimmers and disappears. In the chest there is a full set of armor with the symbol of   
Andraste on the chest strapping it on Leliana smiles enjoying the feel of the leather as if it is made for her. 

"Thank you Andraste, I will always be in your service." She bows to the statue. Stashing her old armor she is dressed and ready to go. 

"Shall we?" Cullen says and opens the door to the mountaintop. 

"You, you lied to me! Andraste will have her vengeance." Kolgrim approaches them sword drawn. 

"You worship a fake god and have lost sight of your faith." Leliana is furious and beautiful. Kolgrim attacks with two mages a rouge and two other warriors. It is a quick and bloody fight   
Neria did not want to do. As Alistair slices the head off of Kolgrim the mountainside shakes with the rage of the dragon. 

"Right, watch the tail let her throw all of her flames on me stay out of her way." Neria says as she tosses her manacles in her pack and unhooks her belt as well and turns off the bracelet. 

"Oh my magic how I have missed you!" Neria wraps herself in flames and walks towards the dragon that has landed and is shooting flames. Neria whacks the dragon on the nose when she gets close enough and the dragon launches up earning some arrows in the side from both Zevran and Leliana Morrigan shoots an ice bolt at it. Wynne has placed glyphs under Neria's feet as well as cast buffs on the warriors. 

Her stomping leaves the group a bit stunned but Neria takes the brunt of her anger in flames. Shale picks her up and moves her out of reach as the Dragon swipes at her. "Ugh, I do not like dragons. That is not comfortable." Shale throws a boulder at the dragon and cuts off the flame attack. Arrows are flying and Cullen and Alistair have managed to flank her. Sten has managed to tear huge rips in her wings effectively grounding her. 

"We need to end this!" Morrigan says and as the dragon goes to blow flame on her she releases a lightning into its mouth. The dragon screams and falls over dead making the warriors have to scramble out of the way. Morrigan is saved from a falling head by being lifted by Sten. Putting her down Morrigan dusts herself off and Neria checks the rest for injuries.   
Loot abounds and Leliana and Zevran are in heaven. Morrigan is as well when she finds the stash of Jewelry. "You should take some of her scales and make armor of it." Morrigan says to Neria and she thinks about this and nods. Cullen and Sten help her get the scales. Exhausted they rest on the top of the mountain for the night. 

"Neria. Come with me." She looks up at Zevran standing over her as she gets ready for bed and then at Alistair who is in her range. 

"Let me finish binding myself and I will seek you out." 

"I will help you." Zevran says kneeling by her. 

"No. Go Zevran, you do not need to bind me, I am more than capable of doing it myself." Neria says frantically trying to move the chains out of his reach and wincing at the sting of them. 

"They hurt you Braska, why did you not say anything." Zevran is trying to remove the manacles and Neria is trying to stop him but his hands are fast. 

"Templar!" Neria yells and Zevran is flying as Alistair tosses him at the feet of Cullen. Alistair bends down and helps Neria put the manacles back on and snaps her belt on steeling himself against her intake of breath and ignoring the tears that fall on his hands. Running a hand down her ears and checking the wrists and ankles Alistair nods but does not miss the flinch, she has been this way since the tower. 

He can't ask though, wouldn’t know where to start. "You will be ready for bed when you return. He helps her up and stands as she walks to Zevran who is by Cullen. 

Zevran leads her over to where the treasure horde is and takes a seat one of the chests. Neria smiles and reclines back on the huge pile of coins using her cloak to cushion it a bit. “Speak if you wish or come and feel your child move in my belly if you are inclined." Neria is bitter and defeated. Zevran takes the chance to feel the baby and smiles as it moves. Glancing at Neria he is ashamed to see her crying. 

"Cara do not cry." He watches her profile as she looks at the moon. The ear he can see has earrings in every hole and a few of them are chained together. Her upturned nose and full lips beg for kissing. He can't see her eyes but knows their violet and gray are glassy with tears. Long spun gold and white curls have escaped her braid and lay half hazard around her face and Zevran hooks one behind her ear and uses the finger to turn her head to him. He leans forward tentatively as Neria licks her lips and studies his face. She is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen and it is a devastating beauty that leaves him in awe every time she speaks to him. He kisses her lightly and she matches it and then melts into the kiss. When she moves her hand to pull him closer her manacles clink and Zevran swears as he jumps. 

"I will always love you but I cannot live like this. I cannot accept a life bound so I don't kill you in an orgasm." Neria says with a wry smile on her lips. 

"Braska just kiss me woman." and he is kissing her and she sighs in delight when he moves from her lips to her neck and finally to her shoulder. 

"Stop, Zev no, stop. I can't I won’t.” Neria puts both hands on his chest and pushes and Zevran releases her and places a hand on her stomach. 

“Then I will content myself to hold you and enjoy our child." 

"You need release; you are as taught as a bowstring and moody as a bronto." 

Zevran slides his mask in place at Neria's words. "Oh and what do you suggest? Shall I bed another one of our companions or have you thought to satisfy me yourself?" Zevran teases her. 

"I cannot, I'd rather not set you on fire again or freeze you or electrocute you." Neria smiles slightly at the thought. 

"Then one of our companions? Which one? Wynne and her magical bosom might be interesting. Then there is the Sexy Enchantress Morrigan or shall it be the songstress Leliana after her display in the temple I'll admit to being tempted. Or shall we bet to see if I can bed all three?" Neria is laughing and shocked at Zevran's humor. 

"No, I thought you swung both ways?" 

Zevran looks at her mischievously. "One of the Chantry boys then Oh now this challenge I do like." Zevran says winking at her. 

"Why not Sten?" Neria asks innocently.

"I have seen that equipment and no thank you, I would like to survive the encounter. No I shall wait until we are in Denerim. There is a whore house there that has wares I like to sample. What about you though? I know I have awakened desires in you will you deny yourself as well?" Zevran hates this conversation but forces it anyways. 

"I shall. It is not safe for my partner otherwise." Neria says not liking this line either. 

"Either of the Chantry boys would be able to deal with whatever you cast Neria both blondes too though Cullen's a bit darker. I wonder if the ruffle matches the curtains." Zevran can't meet her eyes as he says this. 

“It does." Neria says blushing. 

"OH ho! So you and Cullen huh?" Zevran is fake in his mirth.

"No, though I have seen him bathe. I tried to tempt him when I was at the tower but he rebuffed me. He truly believes what they sell at the Chantry." Neria says sighing wistfully. 

"Ah you do love a challenge my warden." There is pain in Zevran's eyes and Neria knows it. 

"What of Alistair?" He inquires and Neria's look of horror and whatever she might have said are interrupted. 

"Neria?" Cullen inquires politely staying out of view. 

"My jailers call, good night Zevran." 

"Good night mia amore, both of you." Zevran kisses her stomach and then her and helps her up. Zevran walks her to Cullen and bows and leaves. 

"Neria?" Cullen asks following the elf and offering his arm for Neria. Neria takes the arm and allows him to help her back to her bed. Neria shakes her head at the question and settles down into the bed laying down so Cullen can secure her. Neria laughs as the baby moves all over the place suddenly. Cullen watches it and then looks back at Neria's face. "May I?" 

"You may." Cullen tamps down all traces of his Templar skills as he places his hand on Neria's stomach wonder at the little life inside. Smiling at Neria he waits until the little one is quiet again before getting up and moving off.


	19. Make Me a King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW- You were warned!  
> “Great leaders know when to call a retreat and cut their losses.”-Arl Aemon

They meet up with Bodhan in the village and Neria is happy to ride in the wagon. She is running out of time be so mobile and they all know it. Making it back to Redcliffe Cullen excuses himself to talk to the smith while the rest head up to the castle. When the ashes work on Eamon they are all happy. Neria leaves Teegan to explain to Eamon everything that has happened. She heads to the dungeons to check on Jowen. "Neria! What are you doing down here? What have they done to you?" 

"What oh? I am in need of a bath but I needed to check on you. I will get you out of here Jowen I promise." 

"Do not make promises you cannot hope to keep Neria." Alistair appears and is still furious with Jowen and she gets it.

"I will get him out of here Alistair, he may have started this but he did his part to end it." 

"Yes he managed to cost Eamon a wife and Conner a mother. Fine job that." 

"That was MY choice not his! You accepted those choices and now you second guess me again? Should I have defiled Andraste's ashes? Should I have sided with the werewolves and spared Zatharian? Should I have not saved this village? What other decisions are you upset about?" 

"Enough!" Sten comes down the stairs and steps between them. "Calm yourself little mage. All this anger is not good for you or the child. Alistair, you accepted her being leader. You cannot question her choices when you will not accept the lead. She has made the choices none of us would want to and done it while fighting her own battles. If she wishes to free the blood mage then let her. “Alistair flees upstairs and Sten approaches Neria catching her chin and wiping a tear from her face. “Do not shed tears for the past, believe in your choices and stand by them. You are needed upstairs." Neria nods and takes a deep breath and goes upstairs. "I will be watching you blood mage. I will not hesitate to take the choice from her if I think it is necessary." Jowen nods and sits down in his cell. 

"Teegan has told me of your actions here in Redcliffe, we owe you a debt of gratitude. I would bestow upon you and your companions the title of Champions of Redcliffe now Teegan also tells me you wish for the blood mage to be set free." Eamon says frowning. 

"No, I do not want him set free. I want him released into my custody so he may serve the Wardens against the blight. I would never set Jowen free for what he has done to you and your family." Neria says smoothly. 

"I must acquiesce with your request as I know you would conscript him if I did not. Fine, but know he is never to be welcomed in Redcliffe again." 

"That is no problem." Jowen says.

"You will swear to join the Wardens and fealty to Neria here before these witnesses." Alistair says glaring at the mage. 

"I swear I will join the wardens and fealty to Neria." Jowen says. 

"We need to move quickly, to secure the rest of the treaties. I need to call a Lands Meet and put forth a better candidate for the throne than Anora." Eamon says and Alistair's head snaps up. 

"You're talking about me aren't you?" 

"Yes my boy, it is time to make it known you are Maric's son and heir." Eamon says smiling. 

"But why me? You or Teegan would be a better match." Alistair says still not liking this. 

"Both of us have claims through marriage but yours is blood. Plus the people will follow you." 

"I'm a bastard; no one is going to follow me." Alistair dismisses the idea.

"They will and you will make a good king." Teegan says. 

"What about what I want? I do not want to be king." Alistair is afraid and it shows. 

"Would you rather be ruled over by Anora and her father?" Neria asks and the look that crosses Alistair's face is furious and determination. 

"No, you’re right." 

"That a boy, now finish getting your treaties it will take some time for me to get the Lands Meet together. Rest here for the night at least to recover, you all look like you can use it." They all nod at Eamons's statement and follow the servants to their quarters. 

"Where do you want to sleep?" Cullen asks Neria as they head up the stairs. 

"Most of the bedrooms have a small room off of it." Alistair says. 

"Do we want to risk the castle with one of my nightmares?" Neria asks and Alistair shrugs. 

"You have done well with your bindings and Morrigan will cast sleep on you. It's either the bedrooms or the dungeon." Alistair says distracted. 

"Bed. You two can figure out who gets the other bed, I want a bath." Neria says when they arrive at her room. 

"I will likely be in how to be a king talks for most of the night Cullen you'll have to deal with her." Alistair says and Leliana arches an eyebrow at the bite in the voice.

Cullen drops his pack on the floor of the smaller room off the main one and heads to find the tub. Neria is in the tub her hair spilling out the edge and she looks up to see him standing there. She straightens out one leg and rubs it with the soap and Cullen watches her movements transfixed. Done with that leg she puts it back in and does the same for the other one. "Oh, excuse me." Cullen blushes, stammers and then turns to leave. Neria does not stop him for which Cullen is thankful. Done with the tub she puts a towel on and walks to the small room where Cullen is praying. 

"Tub is ready if you need it." Cullen turns and sees her in the towel and lets out a moan of longing. 

"Maker's mercy Neria put some clothes on." Neria arches an eyebrow and walks closer to him. Cullen turns away from her. Just as she did so long ago she drops the towel and wraps her hands around him. He's out of his armor this time though so she has free range to light fires of desire up and down his chest. She is a mage I am a Templar, this is forbidden is the chant in his head as he stands so very still. He can feel the dampness from her body as her chest and stomach push against him. As her hands run up and down his chest and one venture farther down to his pants. Just as so long ago he spins keeping her pressed against him and tips her chin up. "Do not tempt me Neria, I am not a Maker's Mercy what are you doing?" Neria has grabbed his pants and pulled them down taking his small clothes with her. He is full and ready and aching and Neria's eyes are devouring him like food. 

As she reaches up to tentatively touch him he draws a breath in as his cock jumps and beads of cum leak out. "I, Neria. This is not a good oh oh idea." Neria is on her knees in front of him and the tip of him is in her mouth as she licks and teases him. Her violet gray eyes are looking up at him with such love he is undone in his resolve. She takes her time with him licking and humming in joy and Cullen has no idea what to do. She continues to do this until Cullen has to thrust, his hips move out of need and he is scared to touch her. Afraid this is a prank of his mind as the demon did to him. Neria takes him farther and farther into her mouth licking and enjoying him until with a moan he empties himself into her mouth. Neria locks her mouth on him and takes it all. When he is empty Neria cleans him with her tongue and looks up at him. "I, I shouldn't have done that." 

Neria smiles at him. "You needed it, I needed it. We are not in the tower, you are not a Templar. We are Grey Wardens and we can enjoy each other." 

"No, I will always be a Templar and you will always be a mage." 

"As you wish. Take your bath I will rewarm the water for you." Though Neria is angry and hurt she does not boil his water in her haste to leave. 

"Neria, I have something for you." Cullen says and holds out a sword to her. It is taller than she is so she knows it's not hers. 

"Okay obviously not mine." 

"It's Sten's. When we sent Bodhan to Orzammar he brought back the news the sword was here in Redcliffe with Dwyn." They are in the library and Neria has been reading a book on the Dalish. 

"Are you sure this is the sword?" Neria asks still not touching it. 

"Morrigan is which is good enough for me." Neria smiles at this and goes to find Sten dragging Cullen with her. They find Sten in the practice yard with Alistair and Zevran. 

"Killing time before dinner I see." Neria says and all of the men turn to her. 

"Paashira, I thought never to see it again." Sten takes the offered blade from Cullen and bows to them both. "Thank you; I have no words to describe this. I can go home now." 

"Thank Morrigan; she is the one who found it. Will you go home now?" Neria asks curious and afraid. 

"I will wait until we see this blight is over. Then I will have a much more satisfying answer for the Arishok." Neria nods happy for Sten. 

Dinner is a formal affair and Neria is not sure how to deal with the dress Leliana has laid out for her. "Oh but you are not even dressed!" Leliana says as Cullen lets her in and heads down. 

"I don’t know how to get into it; all I have ever worn are mage robes." 

“Ah, then I shall help you." The gown is a deep purple with gold trim that sets Neria's eyes to glowing. 

Leliana is wearing a deep blue and Wynne comes in dressed in a gray gown. "Oh good, Leliana can help you. I was not sure if you have ever been in something like this. Do you know how to curtsy? I noticed you did not do that when we met Eamon." 

"No, Duncan told me not to bow either." Leliana is chortling as she helps Neria into the dress and pulls it over her head. Neria smiles her thanks. 

"Why on earth would you bow?" Leliana asks between making the dress smooth 

“Because that is what the Templars do to the Knight Commander. Mages don't bow to each other though we do bow to Irving." Neria says confused. 

"Ah, okay well we can try to teach you to curtsy but I am not sure we have enough time." Leliana says finishing the gown and attacking Neria's curls with a vengeance. They braid her bangs and pull them back into a complicated bun along with the rest of her hair and Leliana smiles at the effect. Shoving a few jeweled bobby pins into it she finishes it and smiles. "Now look." Neria gasps at the woman in the mirror. Her dress is tight across her chest and shows it off with a scoop neck. Her gown threatens to fall off her shoulders though she knows it will not. Instead of making her look huge the gown hugs her sides and accentuates her curves while hiding her pregnancy. Leliana finishes the look with a necklace from a box. Neria looks at the necklace and runs her fingers over it. 

"Mage metal is all of this for me?" Neria indicates the box that also has arm cuffs, a bracelet, a torque and a thin chain belt. 

"Yes, Cullen worked with the smith for them. He would rather you not have to wear any of them." Wynne says sadly. 

"But if you do at least they will be things you like to wear." Cullen says from the door and Neria looks at him in the mirror. 

"May I?" Neria nods and Wynne and Leliana leave closing the door behind them. Cullen crosses and slides the arm cuffs on her and then puts the belt on. Neria ducks her chin as Cullen puts the necklace on and then steps back. "Maker's breathe but you are beautiful." 

"Thank you Cullen, I, it’s been a while since I wore jewelry." 

"Travis is the one who came up with the idea when you were a child. We had to trick you into accepting the bindings back then. Suddenly it became a competition between him, me and Fenrik. What?" Cullen asks at Neria's sudden gasp. 

"Fenrik died to Dark-spawn on the way to Denerim when he asked for the right of annulment. He is the reason I came back to the tower in time." Neria says in a rush not looking at Cullen. 

"Ah, well for that I am thankful." Cullen finishes with the jewelry and they walk out together. 

"You don’t look so shabby yourself there Cullen." Wynne says as they leave the room and he smiles as he offers her his other arm. 

"I must look the part to guide such lovely mages to dinner you know." 

"Ah the lovely songbird has preened her feathers to perfection tonight. Shall I walk you down?" Leliana smiles coyly at Zevran in his harsh black leathers. Leliana takes his arm and hooks a stray hair behind his ear. "So you have given more thought to my proposal?" Zevran asks quietly. 

"Yes, and I am not interested. She still loves you and that is a friendship I cannot lose." Leliana sighs as she strokes his lips with a finger. 

"That I understand and I can accept that." Zevran says and they are silent as he shows her to her seat. Neria sits next to Teegan with Alistair on her other side. Sten sits across from her and smiles at her. Dinner is a confusing affair of forks and knives none of which Neria knows how to deal with besides her first set. Teegan helps her and Alistair does as well. When dinner is done the floor is cleared for dancing. Alistair surprises Neria by asking her to dance. 

"I have no idea how to dance." Neria says frowning at him. 

"Not a problem, step on my boots and I will teach you." Alistair lifts her up and puts her on his boots. He is an excellent dancer and Neria tries to enjoy being held by him though he feels her tremble. "Truce?" He asks as they dance. 

"For the time being yes I know it will be a temporary one." Alistair laughs at that and bows to her as the dance ends. Neria sees Leliana do the curtsy move and tries to copy it only to stumble. 

Zevran catches her and spins her laughing at her flushed appearance and shortness of breath. "Easy Cara, I have you. Nice jewelry." 

"Thank you, a present from my jailers." Neria says not touching the metal. 

"Bars made form gold are still bars cara." Zevran says still dancing with her. 

"Yes but sometimes we need to cage ourselves to keep from hurting the ones we love." Neria says and then gasps as Zevran twirls her off the dance floor and kisses her with everything in   
him. They are a striking pair, him a study in black in white while the gold edged purple makes her look royal. She matches him and places her hands on his chest. Zevran pushes her back against the wall deepening the kiss and running a hand against her nipples making her wish there is nothing there. Neria feels her magic surging up with her emotions and pushes against Zevran ripping her mouth away and clenching her flaming fist. "Stop no, Zevran stop we cannot, not here not now not ever." Neria is storming out of the room Alistair behind her. 

Neria makes it to the outside of the castle before she lets the flames go against a wall sending a wooden crate up in explosive flames which she douses with a cone of cold. "Hate to be a wooden crate right now." Alistair says and Neria smiles and swipes at the tears. 

"You should have stopped me, should have made me see reason with him." Neria says biting her lip in frustration. 

"Least you forget I did, I put my heart in your hand and you handed it back charred and frostbitten." Alistair matches her bitterness. 

"I, I was a real bitch to you wasn't I?" Neria says looking at Alistair. 

"You still are on occasion but I get it. Had I known your past I would have handled you differently." 

"We all make mistakes, Soldier's peak and then Orzammar sound good?" Alistair shakes his head at the change in direction and nods his head.

"Hopefully we can take it back without issue. Hopefully the dwarves are eager to fight." Alistair says

“We have accomplished a lot in a very short amount of time Alistair, much more than I can have hoped." Neria puts a hand on her stomach as the baby kicks. 

"Done blowing up crates?" Alistair asks offering his arm. 

"For the moment though I think I will head to bed if Cullen is ready." Neria says taking his arm and walking with him. 

"I think Cullen will be happy to be rescued from the noble women." Alistair smiles mischievously as he says this. 

"I am surprised they are not all over you like honey, next king and all you've make a helluva catch." Neria says looking at him with a twinkle in her eye. 

"Have to win it first and nobles are not gamblers when it comes to bastards, especially bastard Grey Wardens." 

"You sell yourself too cheaply Alistair, whomever you choose as queen will be a lucky woman." Alistair stays quiet as they enter the room and Neria finds Cullen. Alistair motions him over and Cullen is relieved to get loose from the ladies. 

"Bed?" Cullen asks looking at Neria and the dark circles under her eyes. 

"Yes please do you mind?" 

"Not at all, here take my arm." Alistair passes her off to Cullen and is gone called to Eamon's side. Back in her chamber Cullen retreats to his room until Neria calls him. 

"You are going to have to help me out of this." 

"Do you want me to get Leliana or Wynne?" Cullen doesn’t want to touch her, not after what they did. 

"Cullen, you have seen me in my shift which is what I am wearing under this. Undo the laces and pull it over my head. You can do this." Cullen sighs and sets to work on the laces. His hands are nimble and he pulls the dress over her head. Neria's shift rides up a bit but she pulls it down. 

"I figured Earl Eamon doesn't want anchors into the headboard so we'll have to use the gloves." Cullen says holding the offending object up. 

"Ugh I hate those but at least it's a comfy bed." 

"Is she ready to sleep?" Morrigan asks as she enters her red gown indecent in how little it covers. 

"Yes." Neria answers as Cullen slides the gloves on and hooks them to her belt. She is still wearing her arm cuffs but has put the rest of the jewelry away. 

"You did well tonight Neria." Morrigan says and Neria nods. 

"It was not him, is not his fault is all I can say over and over." Neria says quietly enough Cullen does not hear. 

"Progress is progress." Morrigan casts sleep and is gone. 

Neria dreams not of Zevran but of Cullen. It is his hand on her ankle tracing up her thigh and pushing her little bud. Neria arches up with the pleasure and smiles as dream Cullen traces a hand up from her thigh to tweak her nipple while kissing her. Cullen hears his name and walks to the bed. He can smell her arousal; his body reacts as she tosses her head and strains to get her hands to pleasure herself. She is frustrated with the gloves, her fingers not working correctly. Cullen sits on the bed not knowing if he should chance waking her or of doing what her body wants. Neria's nipples are straining against the shift and Cullen reaches out tentatively and touches one surprised when Neria strains against his hand. "Please Cullen, need you now." Neria arches in frustration trying to get out of the chains. 

Cullen makes sure her bracelet is on and his arm brushes her breasts and Cullen has to touch her. Taking a nipple in one hand his hand slides south stroking her little bud and kisses her from being loud. She melts into him and grinds against his hand. One hand strokes and keeps her nipples in taut peaks while his thumb keeps her needy. One finger slides in and Neria's eyes fly open to look into Cullen's eyes. "You were calling out for me." 

Neria cannot answer as she shatters under his ministrations and he captures her mouth again to keep her quiet. "Need you now, must oh Cullen please." His cock is on fire and his pants are tight. Neria sits up wrapping her legs around his waist and dipping her head down to lick his chest. Tracing kisses across to his nipple she flicks it and Cullen moans finally freeing himself. Neria's shift is bunched up and he is still sitting on the edge of the bed. Seeing he is free Neria straddles him managing to spear herself in the process. He kisses her to keep from being too loud himself. He is lifting her up and down and she would love to wrap her arms around him but cannot move her hands from her waist. He pushes her back on the bed keeping them entwined and thrusting in and out. When he empties in her she follows and he casts cleanse to keep her from setting anything on fire. 

Spent Cullen turns and spoons her staying inside. "Give me a second and I will get water for us to clean up with." Cullen is practical and Neria loves the feel of him wrapped around her. Cleaned up Neria drifts back to sleep knowing she cannot stay awake any longer. Cullen kisses her and returns to his bed. 

Neria is awake and waits for Cullen or Alistair to release her from her chains. It's actually Morrigan who comes to get her loose. "Alistair is still with Eamon and Cullen is in the Chantry. I am guessing each think the other are with you and never bothered to check with each other." Morrigan curses as she gets Neria loose. Neria's stomach lets out a loud gurgle that has Morrigan chuckling.

"Remember when you handed me Flemeth's grimoire after the tower?" Morrigan sighs as Neria heals the injuries. 

"Yes." 

"I have had a chance to study it and I now know how she extends her life indefinitely." Morrigan says sitting on the bed. 

"Oh this should be interesting." Neria slides into her robes and braids her hair.

"When she reaches a certain age she takes over her daughter. Hence the legend of the daughters of Flemeth, they are all her." 

"What do you want to do with this information?" Neria is shocked and dismayed. 

"I would ask that you destroy her. I will not be an empty vessel for her soul to fill at her convenience." Morrigan says in anger. 

"We will do that on the way to Orzammar if you like. You will not be able to come with us when we do that though." Neria says cautiously. 

"You would do this?" Morrigan is surprised. 

"Yes, Morrigan you are you, not a vessel for your mother." Neria touches the mage carefully making sure not to hit her with any of the metal.


	20. Bodies of Flames

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I trust unto you that which is precious to me.”-Flemeth

As they travel to Soldier's Peak neither Cullen nor Neria speak of what happened that night. Neria is unsure if it was a dream and feels guilty at having cheated on Zevran. Zevran stays close to Neria but does not flirt. A subdued Zevran is not fit company and Leliana tries to distract the assassin with tales of her homeland. Jowen keeps to himself for the most part occasionally talking to Morrigan or Neria. Alistair and Cullen both give the mage the stink eye when he speaks to Neria to the point Neria calls them on it. "Stop it both of you!" Neria shoves Cullen and doesn’t even move him an inch. 

"You do realize if he makes you a thrall we'd never be able to stop you right?" Alistair says which invokes Jowen's ire. 

"I would never do that to Neria. I use only my own blood to power spells I would never harm an innocent." At Neria's icy glare Alistair does not say what he wants. 

Once at Soldier's Peak they meet Levy Dryden and encounter ghosts. "The Fade is very thin here, we need to close it." Morrigan states and all of the mages agree. Dealing with the walking dead Neria is thankful for no Revenant though the ghosts showing scenes of exactly what went on here are disturbing. Entering the office and encountering a demon Sophia is more than Levy can deal with and he feints. Killing Sophia Neria revives Levy and shows him the journal they found sacking the office. Alistair looks damn good in the Warden armor and Sten accepts the Juggernaut armor. They still have to deal with the tower and the mage in it. Avernus has been doing experiments and Neria needs to stop him. 

"I hear you I hear you." Avernus says. 

"So you are still alive?" Neria is surprised to not be seeing a demon or a ghost. 

"Only just Chantry doesn't tell you blood magic increases your life span. Plus what I find with my experiments has helped as well." 

"You need to stop those experiments or at least find a way to do them without hurting others." Neria says though she is curious about what he has learned. More importantly she is   
curious what this man can teach Jowen. 

"I will stop the experiments if you will help me close the veil." 

"Deal." Neria says nodding. 

"You cannot mean to let this man live after what he has done." Alistair is in shock and Neria understands. 

"What part of any means necessary did you not understand in your vows?" Morrigan asks and that earns her a scathing look. 

"Let's close the veil and see if we can negotiate after that." Leliana says trying to keep the peace. 

Neria follows the mage to the mirror that acts like a portal to the fade. Her regular jewelry now consists of the torque, the arm bands, all the earrings, belt, her original bracelet and two others. She still wears the ankle shackles as well. She rattles when she walks like a prisoner. She can still cast with all of that on and she is getting stronger. Avernus steps to one of the points on the floor that acts as a focal point. Jowen stands on another and Morrigan on the last Neria stands in the middle with the others ready to face whatever comes out. Rage demons pour out and Neria casts cone of cold and blizzard to keep them still. Wynne shoots with her staff and keeps wounds closed. After the rage demons come ash wraiths and then desire demons. Neria falters in her spells when one of the desire demons looks like her with less clothing on and walks up to Cullen. "NO!" Neria yells and hits the demon with her staff. It's enough to break the thrall on Cullen who stabs it. Finally it is a pride demon that walks through with ash wraiths. Neria has faced a pride demon before but mercy they are hard. She cannot cast the spells she needs because she is low on mana. Sucking a potion she casts heal and realizes she does not have enough to finish this thing. 

Unhooking one of her ankle manacles she undoes the other one too and kicks them out of the way feeling the rush of magic. Her sword Yanis is in her hand and she hacks at the demon and steps out of Alistair's way as he slices as well. Icing her blade she cuts again and smiles as the demon screams. Icing all the weapons it is cut down quickly. All the mages sit down suddenly where they stand exhausted. Alistair breaks the mirror and Neria feels the fade vanish. All of the mages are humming with leftover magic to the point everyone's hair is standing on end. 

"Non mages out of the middle, all mages in the middle easier to cleanse you all at once than go one to one." Cullen gets Neria's manacles and secures them back on her ankles. Alistair casts cleanse first and then Cullen casts as well. Wynne is the first one done and gets up and moves off. 

Jowen is next and then Avernus and Morrigan. 8 rounds of cleanse Neria is finally done and Avernus' curiosity is piqued. "Your power with my research would be nearly unstoppable." 

"Thank you but no. I will deal with what I am provided and hope I can contain it long enough not to kill anyone on accident." Neria says shaking her head. 

"Truly?" 

"Truly though you are welcome to teach Jowen if you like. He is a blood mage as well." Neria offers looking at Jowen. 

"You would put that power in his hands?" Cullen asks incredulous. 

"Yes, even with Avernus' help he will never match me and we will need his help with the Arch demon. I would rather we have all the advantages than none of them." Neria says and sees a nodding Jowen goes with Avernus with Cullen to watch over them. 

"We do good work, closed a veil took back a base." Alistair says. 

"Yes well us mage types are going to get this place cleaned up with no spiders." Neria shudders when she spots a web in the corner. "Levy, I would like for you to stay here and keep an eye out on Avernus. Feel free to bring the family we will need merchants to support the base here." Neria says looking at the man. 

"I would like that thank you." Between the physical labor and magical the keep is in livable condition in a couple of days. 

"I wish I had the supplies to make more Wardens but I do not. They would have dried out years ago.” Avernus says and Neria nods sadly. 

Jowen learns all he can and they head to Orzammar. When they pass close enough Neria tells Alistair about Flemeth and her promise to help her. "I understand but you and I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn't for her. Plus I don't like Morrigan." 

"Fine then I will go by myself." 

"I will accompany you Basslit." Neria nods at Sten and as they leave the camp Alistair joins them. 

"This is a bad idea." Alistair says. 

"Well it needs to be done." Neria says frostily. 

"It thought to leave me out of this?" Shale says walking up to them. 

"You wish to help Morrigan?" Alistair asks. 

"No but I am rather not squishy and can tell the others what became of you." 

"That works." Neria smiles despite herself. Flemeth is expecting them and tries to bargain with them. Neria knows Sten will not agree to this, he and Morrigan are a pair and no one wants   
to live with a shadow over you. 

Flemeth turns into a dragon, a huge dragon. "I so did not bring the right team for this!" Neria says throwing a fireball at Flemeth. Flemeth grabs Alistair in her mouth and Neria places her hand on the dragon trying to freeze it. It's too damn big though she does drop Alistair with a thump. Neria heals the Templar and stands in front of him as Flemeth tries to toast him. "Get up you hunk of metal! Up dammit Alistair!" Neria kicks him and the flames stop as Shale throws a boulder that hits Flemeth in the face. Alistair is up and on the other side of the dragon when Neria tosses a lightning into her mouth hoping to kill it the same way Morrigan took out Andraste. It works though Sten is caught under the neck. Shale lifts the neck as Alistair manages to drag the man out. Neria heals him and leaves them to recover as she checks the shack. There are better robes and another grimoire. Neria stashes both of these in her pack and they head back to camp. 

"Your mother turned into a dragon and tried to eat Alistair." Neria informs Morrigan as she passes her the grimoire and robes. 

"I would have been cross with her has she succeeded." Morrigan says and winks at Neria. Laughing Neria goes to the stream to wash up. 

"Why did you not let me go with you?" Zevran says leaning against a tree. 

"I didn’t know you wished to go." 

"I would have liked to meet Morrigan's mother, she sounds like an interesting woman." Zevran says staying where he is though he aches to touch her.

"She turned into a dragon; she is definitely an interesting woman." Neria says finishing with the water and returning to camp. 

"So which Chantry boy did you take?" Zevran asks bitterly. 

"Neither, which companion did you take?" 

"None though the servants of Redcliffe were more than willing." Zevran catches the hurt. "Braska, I thought you were serious. Cara I am never sure with you." 

"I was it's fine." 

"Care to talk about Alistair?" Zevran says and sees her flinch. 

"There is nothing." 

"I know cara, you flinch when he touches you. You know exactly where he is at all times, you are afraid of him. You can hide from the others but you will never hide from me. Talk to me cara, please." 

"Never." Neria says and walks away. 

Frostback Mountains are bitterly cold and Neria is thankful for the warriors who take turns carrying her, and Wynne through the snow. Morrigan turns into a bird and flies ahead. Jowen too changes into a bird and the two wing over the mountains and back. "Do you wish to do that as well?" Sten asks as he carries Neria. 

"No, though I do envy them." Finally they are at Orzammar and there is a contingent there from "King Loghain" Neria demands to be let in as she is a Grey Warden. She barely ducks out of   
the way as the King's Envoy swings at her with his blade. Ducking into his guard Neria slaps him and he turns solid in ice. "Anyone else?" Neria is tossing a snowball up and down her hand looking at the rest of the entourage. 

"You will die for that." Huge warrior, Sten size says and Sten curses the man as a broken blade and attacks him. Alistair has already smited the mage and taken his head. An arrow whistles at Neria and Zevran yanks her out of the way and throws a knife that barely beats Leliana's arrow. 

"Right now that that is all done, shall we?" Neria says waving the snow into thin air. 

"Orzammar is closed until a new king is chosen." The guard tells them and Neria holds out the treaty. "Only the Assembly can deal with this, welcome to Orzammar." The guard opens the gates and Neria gets her first look at the kingdom of dwarves.

Showing them to the Assembly house where rooms are prepared for them Alistair and Neria go to address the Assembly. They are not even allowed to speak as angry words are thrown everywhere and Neria is frustrated. "I will not call the Assembly until we can get some order. Want to help? Figure out how to get a new king." Speaker of the Assembly says. 

"Who are the choices?" Alistair asks curious. 

“Behlan, King Endrin Aeducan's son and Lord Harromont the adviser to the late king only the Assembly can crown a king and they are split between the two. You will have to speak to their seconds to get an audience with them. Dulin is Harromont's Vartag is Bhelan's. Vartag is still here in the hall and Dulin is at Harromont's estate in the Diamond Quarter." 

"Thank you for the information Speaker." Neria says and leaves to look for Vartag. Their escort is nice enough to show them Vartag. 

"Ah Wardens, nice to speak to you how can I help you?" 

"We need to speak with Prince Behlan immediately." Neria says. 

"I am afraid you will have to prove you are trustworthy before you will be able to do that." 

"Of course we will, what do you want?" Neria is impatient and tired of doing everyone favors. Vartag is blonde with a beard that almost drags the ground though the braids and silver   
trinkets threaded through make it interesting. 

"Take this promissory note for Lord Helmi and Lady Dace proving Harromont's false promise to those two. Do this and you may have an audience with his majesty." Neria takes the documents and heads out. 

"Zev, Leli can you get a feel for the city, who do these people actually want to rule? Anyone want to come with me to the Diamond Quarter to talk to the Lord's person? There is also a library of sorts called a Shaperate I would like to go to." Neria asks the group. 

"I will go to the Shaperate and also some shopping is in order. All these dwarves will have shiny baubles I hope." Sten and Shale join Morrigan for that and Wynne, Cullen and Jowen come with her and Alistair for Dulin. 

Dulin wants them to fight in the Proving and says Behlan has figured out a way for their fighters to back out. "I will find out why they don't want to fight I am not fighting for you." Neria says and heads to the Shaperate. Handing the notes to the Shaperate's librarian he tells them the notes are forged. 

"Of course they are." Alistair says shaking his head. Morrigan has found some books of interest but leaves with them to shop. As they walk around Neria is more and more irritated. Alistair is as well and they are snapping at each other and everyone else. 

"What's going on you two? Breath Neria, blue skies fluffy clouds." Cullen is holding her hand against his chest his other hand behind her back making small circles. 

"Dark-spawn, they are everywhere." Alistair says rubbing his head. "It's irritating me and Neria and she is leaking magic which irritates me more." 

"I cannot bind her more in public Alistair." Cullen states. 

"I know that, just ugh please Neria please control your magic." Cullen casts cleanse on her and Neria turns on her bracelet. 

"Here I have an idea." Wynne says and casts a mana drain on her. Both of the Templars breathe easier for a time.

Heading to the proving grounds they find the fighters for Harromont and find out one of them is being blackmailed. Neria fries the lock to get into the room and gets the letters and hand them to the man. His other fighter is convinced Harromont is a coward. "You are the coward for not fighting, either fight or die your choice." Neria states and the man quickly agrees. 

"Take me back to the rooms, I can't deal with this. Also the baby is scared, it’s moving frantically now." Neria says to Cullen. "Alistair you are free to participate in the proving if you want." Neria says knowing he will not choose to be near her right now. 

"No I think I will go help the nug wrangler." Shrugging they head back to the rooms and Neria is barely hanging onto her magic. 

"Jowen, I need you to put me to sleep. I cannot contain this, Maker I can't breathe." Neria is frightened and it's making it worse.

Cullen is casting cleanse on her and putting on her chains as fast as he can. Jowen casts sleep on Neria as soon as Cullen nods. Neria is twitching and fighting in her sleep and Wynne keeps her drained. When Sten and Morrigan come back Cullen is sitting in a chair with his hand on her. "Sten, I need you to find a mage board. They will have them here." Sten nods knowing what it is and leaves. Morrigan casts a stronger drain and redoes the sleep allowing Cullen to breathe. "It’s the dark-spawn; they are chattering in her head and driving her mad.” 

"Alistair is in a fine temper as well it seems." Morrigan states and runs a hand over Neria. "She is burning up." 

"Yes, it's her magic, side effect of the binding for so long. Every year on her birthday we would take her down to the deepest part of the tower and unbind her. Let her magic just run crazy. It did too; she can mix rain, snow, fire and lightning all into one storm and stand in the middle of it unharmed." Cullen keeps a hand on Neria’s arm trying to calm her. 

"You love her." Morrigan says in surprise. 

"I do though not enough, not nearly enough." Cullen says bitterly. 

Sten comes back with the board and they slide it under Neria who cries out and then grows quiet. Zevran comes back and sees Neria on a metal board chains running across her chest, her hands in gloves of the hated metal. Her ankles and legs are strapped to the board as well. Neria is thrashing and her stomach is moving as well. "Let her go, now! Let her go Templars or I will kill you where you stand." 

"Zevran, we cannot. She has to stay bound." Wynne says 

"You are killing her, let her go!" Zevran demands and Sten holds him back. Leliana looks in the room and her face goes pale. "This is not right, let her go Alistair." Zevran is begging. 

"No. She is having a bad dream and needs to finish it." Alistair is still reacting to her magic. Zevran goes to the bed and lays his hand on the child and lays next to Neria stroking her stomach and whispering to her. Slowly Neria calms along with the baby into a more restful sleep. All but Cullen and Zevran leave. Cullen leans back in the chair and stretches out as much as a chair built for dwarven proportions will allow him. 

Neria wakes up in degrees with something stroking her belly which is hungry now and rumbles. Opening her eyes she moves her head to see Cullen in a chair and turning the other way sees Zevran's eyes looking at her. "So sleeping beauty awakens." Zevran says quietly kissing her forehead. 

"I do, I feel Sten found a mage board. Ugh I hate these things." Neria says quietly. 

"Yes, here let’s get you undone and I can massage you." Zevran's hands are quick with the bolts and buckles and make it to where she can sit up. Cullen watches quietly not letting on he is awake. "Open your eyes Templar, I know you are awake." Zevran says getting the last of the leg bindings off. Gloves are the last thing off and Neria sighs as her magic surges back to her. Cullen moves the board off the bed and the chains and Neria sits back down and allows Zevran to massage her. "Food, get her some. I assure you I am not taking any more of the metal off." Zevran is annoyed with Cullen. Cullen goes when Neria nods. 

"Oh love don’t take out your anger on my shoulders." Zevran lightens his touch and has Neria purring by the time Cullen is back with the food. They stop long enough for Neria to eat and when they are done Zevran moves his hands to the middle of her back and then the small of her back. "Gods I have missed your hands." Neria is purring and languid as a cat. 

"We have not been taking as good a care with you as I would like. You should be dozing by a fire reading a book and enjoying your pregnancy. Not traipsing Theades fighting." Zevran works on a stubborn knot and Neria melts against him. "Ready to talk about tactics?" Zevran asks and nibbles on her ear. 

"Yes. Let's get this done. I only have a couple more weeks before I need to head to the Dalish." Neria says as Zevran finishes the massage and helps her up. 

"Most of the rich are with Harromont, he is the adviser to the king and swears the king made him king. Also he wants to leave Orzammar the way it is. Bhalen wants to marry his casteless concubine and do something about the surface dwarves. But he is a slimy snake." Leliana's assessment is quick and to the point. 

"Fine we'll take a poll." Neria says and Bhalen wins the poll with the companions and Neria sighs. Everyone heads to bed and Neria realizes she is still exhausted. Putting her back on the board Cullen redoes the chains and straps with Alistair's help. Morrigan casts sleep on Neria and she welcomes the oblivion. 

Next morning Zevran and Leliana deliver the notes to the appropriate people and they head back to Vartag. Criers all over the city are saying they are siding with Behlan Harromont supporters attack the group in the diamond quarter and the city guard urges them home. "Prince Behlan will see you now." Vartag says and Neria and Alistair go to deal with the Prince. 

"There is a woman in Dust Town that rules it, I need her eliminated. Do this and I might have enough support to sway the Assembly." 

"Fine." Neria agrees and they head to Dust Town. Jarvia and her thugs are a hard fight and they fight for every inch of those tunnels. Neria does not like being in the tunnels but she deals with it. Jowen doesn't deal well with it either and they walk through some of them hand in hand with Cullen and Alistair hanging onto them. Finally they find Jarvia and that is a fight Neria will never forget. As her magic does no damage to Jarvia the woman calls wave after wave of men and women and they mow them down. Finally Jarvia is dead with an arrow to her throat. 

"Back to Vartag." Neria says and the ragged group head there. 

"You did a wonderful service, we will see if it is enough." Assembly meets that day and it's a no go. "We need the paragon Branka." Vartag says and Neria rolls her eyes. 

"Paragon Branka left 2 years ago into the Deep Roads and hasn’t been seen since. What makes you think we can find her?" Morrigan asks furious. 

"You are Grey Wardens, it's what you do. You go to the Deep Roads." Behlan says standing by his desk. 

"Fine." Neria says and walks out. 

"You are not going into the Deep Roads. We have no idea where that woman is and you are too close to giving birth." Alistair is pacing and in his full plate he sounds like a tin can rolling down the stone. 

"I agree I am going to leave in the morning for the Dalish. I will take Zevran and Leliana with me. We will be fine." Neria says. 

"Rest of us will find the paragon and pick you up when we are done.” Alistair says reaching out and sighing when Neria flinches away from him. 

“Or vice versa.” Morrigan states earning a scathing look from Alistair. No matter how far or long they travel with each other they do not like each other at all.


	21. Please No!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heavy Chapter NSFW!  
>  “We must remember Andraste did not volunteer for the flames.” – Grand Cleric Elfina

As they travel Leliana tells her about Aveline the human raised by the Dalish that became the patron saint of female warriors in Orlais. They are still on the open road when Zevran motions Leliana to hide. “Templars” and the bard disappears to hide. 

“Mage you will come with us.” 

“I am Neria of the Grey Wardens, you will stand aside sir.”Neria is standing quietly trying to not be scared. 

“You are not Neria, certainly not a Grey Warden. Grey Warden’s cannot have children, even I know that. You will submit to the Chantry apostate or be killed here and now.” It is 8 vs 2 and Neria does not like those odds. Not this pregnant, not this bound. Her magic has gotten nearly uncontrollable as her pregnancy advanced and she is fully bound since they didn't bring either of the Templars. 

“Up to you my love.” Zevran states his hands on his blades. 

“You allow my friend to leave. He will not trouble you.” Captain nods even as 8 Smites knocks Neria flat. It is not enough to knock her out and she screams as she sees the Templars fall on Zevran. 

Leliana melts into the fields on the side of the road and waits for the confrontation to end. Everything makes her itch for her bow to be drawn but she does not. When she sees the Templars smite Neria and attack Zevran she stops herself from screaming even as she sees Zevran look for her and shake his head no. After they have smited Neria they bind her even more, they will not be taking her far. Leliana thinks about the surrounding cities and know they will take her to Honnleath. That village Shale joined them. Neria’s child will be given to the Chantry and she knows it. She has to get Alistair and the others; there is no way she can take on that many Templars on her own. 

Zevran is bleeding out and Leliana is praying for a miracle, anything that will save Zevran and Neria. She is on her knees next to Zevran putting health poultices on the wounds trying to   
get them stop her tears landing to mix in the blood of her friend. “Please don’t die Zev, please don’t die.” Leliana chants as she works on him trying desperately to get him stable. Finally his eyes flutter open and Leliana sighs in relief. “Don’t try talking, your throat is a mess and I have no way to fix that. I need to get you off the road and I need to get help.” Leliana puts together a stretcher and lifts Zevran onto it and drags him off the road. Setting him up she knows she can’t leave him, he is too weak to fend for himself and these woods are not tame. Help arrives on day two when a Dalish scouting party finds her.

“Zevran? What happened?” Mithras asks and Leliana tells her what has happened. “We cannot get her back but we can do our best to heal him. Go Leliana, get help for Neria.” Mithras says and Leliana leaves. 

Alistair feels like it has been weeks down in this horrible place but knows it has been days. Oghren, Branka's husband has insisted on coming and stinks like a brewery but the Dwarf is decent in a fight and his jokes keep his mind off of Neria. Fear gnaws at Alistair, what if she dies in childbirth like Eamon’s first wife? What if the babe dies as well? What if she blows up the entire Dalish camp giving birth, they need the Dalish for the blight. Nights are the worst. With the Dark-spawn everywhere Alistair’s dreams are horrible and when he does sleep no one disturbs him. When they finally find Branka Alistair is not pleased about what is asks of his group but agrees. 

Leliana reaches Orzammar a week after the incident on the road. She has barely stopped and nearly collapses on the steps of the city. The guards take pity on her and call Gorim to take her to the palace. After resting Leliana demands to go to the Deep Roads and is denied. Finally Gorim himself agrees to take Leliana into the deep roads getting as far as Thaig when Alistair and the group meet them. 

“What happened?” Sten asks and Leliana bursts into tears and cries so hard she collapses. 

All eyes turn to Gorim. “Wait! She said she had to get to you that is all know. She will not speak of it to anyone else. She showed up a couple of days ago exhausted and bedraggled no one would let her in here so I brought her myself.” Wynne casts rejuvenate on Leliana and then holds her as the bard cries. 

Spent Leliana looks up at Alistair, “I’m so sorry. I couldn't stop them; they attacked Zevran and took Neria.”

“Who did?” Cullen asks reaching to shake Leliana.

“Templars, they have her and she hasn’t has the baby yet. They didn’t believe she was a warden or that she is Neria. I think they took her to Honnleath.” 

“Ugh not that place.” Shale exclaims. 

“We will leave immediately.” Cullen states and starts walking back to Orzammar.

“We need to crown the king and get the treaty done Cullen.” Alistair states shaking his head.

“What? Neria.”Cullen rounds on the man furious. 

“Is a Grey Warden, our commander and told us to do this. We will get this done and then we will rescue her.” Alistair winces as the words taste bitter on his tongue, knows this is not what Cullen or anyone wants to do. 

Neria wakes up slowly pain chasing across her abdomen and then to her back. She reaches for her magic and finds herself locked. Opening her eyes she doubles over as another pain hits her. Neria strokes her stomach and pleads with her child to hold out just a little while longer. It is not safe for her child to come out yet, there are Chantry sisters tending her not Dalish.   
“Hey commander, she’s awake.” Neria sits up on the bed and pulls her arms around her knees rattling her chains. Both of her hands are chained to the wall with metal gloves that keep her fingers locked though they leave her feet free. 

“How are you doing?” 

“Let me go Templar. You have no right to interfere with the Grey Wardens.”Neria is desperate to get loose. Why can they not see her tattoo? 

“You are a mage and therefore your child belongs to the Chantry. You are not a Grey Warden, there are no more Wardens left alive.” 

“That is enough Yarric. Leave her be. She is here to have her child and then she can be transported back to the tower.” Reverend Mother states. Yarric glares at the elderly woman but walks away. “It's time.” Reverend says to Neria and she shakes her head no. 

“You have been fighting it for day’s child; let your child be welcomed into the Maker's arms.” 

“My child is property of the Grey Wardens.” Neria moans between contractions. 

“Your child is magical and is property of the Chantry.” Reverend Mother states and frowns as another contraction wracks Neria. Once the contraction is done Neria glares at the Reverend Mother. 

“This child belongs to the Grey Wardens and you will let me go, or so help me woman I will kill you and every other living soul in here. If you dare take my child from me I will not stop until this entire place is ashes and flames.” Neria is furious and scared. 

“Enough Mage! Settle down or I will smite you labor or not.” Yarric strides over to take Neria's chin in his hand. Neria attacks him her gloved hands banging against the Templar's chest plate even as he hugs her close and cast cleanse. Suddenly there is a gush of water and Neria screams again. She is out of time and she fights harder against the Templar. 

“There now child, time to bring your baby into the world.” 

Alistair strides into the Assembly with Oghren, Wynne and Leliana with him. Relating the events of what has happened in the Anvil of the Void Alistair tells the Assembly the Paragon Caramon has chosen House Aeuducan to continue to rule and that he has destroyed the anvil. Alistair does not like either ruler honestly but at least the Aeuducan leader is trying to make changes. Waiting long enough for the dwarf to be crowned and the treaties to be honored Alistair and the companions leave Orzammar and hurry to Honnleath praying he will be in time. 

Morning of All Souls Day Neria brings her daughter into the world and screams as the Reverend Mother hands her off to a Templar for transport to another Chantry. Bleeding and exhausted Neria lays quietly as the sisters clean her up and let her recover in peace. It is a day of remembrance for all of Theades and the Chantry is busy. “You will be transported to the Tower in a couple of day’s mage. I am sure Irving will be happy to get one of his mages back.” Yarric states taking his turn at watch now that she has delivered they have moved her into the dungeon. 

She is still bound by the hands and wrists, with another chain on her neck. Her robes and staff were removed when she first arrived there and she lays in a shift.   
It is the day after All Souls that the companions make it to Honnleath. Alistair and Cullen walk into the Chantry wearing their Templar plate and claim to be Neria's escort back to the Tower. “You've arrived earlier than expected Sers; she barely had the child but a day ago. I would not recommend moving her until tomorrow.” 

“Is the child still here?” Cullen asks dispassionately as he can. 

“No, it was sent immediately to Tevinter, that circle is in need of more children lately.” Reverend Mother answers leading them down to where Neria is. Yarric comes to attention as Cullen and Alistair enter the dungeon and both of their eyes water at the rankness of the place. They will be lucky if Neria doesn't get an infection down here. Neria sits on the floor of her cell huddled in the corner her shift soaked through with blood and doesn't even react to their voices. 

“She says her name is Neria and that she is a Grey Warden.” Yarric says jerking his thumb at Neria. 

“Not likely, those have a bounty on their head don't they?” Alistair scoffs. 

“If this mage is a Grey Warden than I am a Knight Commander.” Yarric says looking at Neria and then at Cullen and Alistair. 

“We'll take lodging in the Inn and come collect her in the morning.” Cullen states as they head back out of the dungeons. 

“The child is gone. Sent to Tevinter, we are too late.” Cullen states when they get back to the Inn and into the rooms with the rest of the group. 

“What do you want to do?” Leliana asks. 

“Stick with the plan, we will collect her in the morning and put this place to our backs.” Alistair states. 

“I am hoping she will be weak enough we can get her out of the town without too much fuss. Morrigan, we'll need you to keep her under until we are away from here.” 

“Poor Neria.” Wynne says. 

“Where are we going?” Leliana asks. 

“Redcliffe, dwarves are the last treaty. We can stop by the Dalish and let them know Neria's child will not be joining them.” Alistair says. 

“No, tell the representative at Redcliffe Alistair. We need to get to Redcliffe and stop this blight.” Wynne says. 

“What aren't you saying Healer?” Sten asks.

“We can take Neria to the tower to recover if needed. She lost her love and her child, I am not sure if she can handle leading troops in her condition.” Wynne answers. 

“They took your son too didn't they?” Cullen queries. 

“Yes, but I understood it would happen. I know where he is and how he is doing but it was many years before anyone would tell me anything. With Neria a Grey Warden the Chantry is going to hide that child and they may even kill it.” 

“Maker's mercy on that child.” Leliana says sitting on the bed numbly. 

Dawn colors the city in pinks, reds and golden light. Shale keeps her vigil outside of the town knowing she will not be welcomed there. Oghren has stayed with her and is still snoring loudly. Leliana, Morrigan, Sten, Jowen and Wynne join the two and Morrigan wakes the dwarf with a poke in the back with her staff. He comes awake in a start fumbling with his sword and Leliana laughs. Sten glowers at the dwarf sure the man should have been awake hours ago. A cart bumps down the road with two Templars in the front and another four walking on the sides of it. Final two are walking behind the cart. “Oh this is interesting; I am guessing this is Neria's real transport.” Morrigan says drawing her magic. Leliana loses her arrow into the driver of the cart even as Oghren charges with a bellow. 

When they are done quickly dispatching the Templars now they are trying to figure out how to get the cart to the Chantry to pick up Neria, Alistair and Cullen. “Put the armor on bard. You and I shall drive the cart.” Sten commands already stripping one of the Templars. 

“I'm not sure I can even walk in this plate.” 

“You don't need to walk, just sit. You can do this.” Morrigan says grabbing another of the men and stripping him. Leliana does not look like a Templar but it works with her sitting on the cart. Sten picks up the reins of the cart and drives on. 

Cullen and Alistair are exiting the Inn when the cart comes rolling through. “Ho Alistair, Cullen. We must have overslept. Is the prisoner ready?” Sten asks and smiles as both men relax. 

“Yes, let's collect her and get out of here. Lyle, stay with the cart.” Cullen takes charge of the situation and Leliana nods in understanding. Yarric has two guards posted in front of the dungeon when Sten, Alistair and Cullen walk in. 

“You're a big one. Where do you hail from?” Yarric asks Sten. 

“Highever.” 

“Ah well she is ready for transport.” Yarric hands the keys off and walks up the stairs his two guards with him. Alistair unlocks the door and walks over to Neria. She doesn't stir as the chains are removed and her skin is hot to the touch. 

“Fever, we will need to take care of that.” Cullen picks Neria up even as Alistair keeps her chains in hand. Walking her out of the Chantry Sten climbs into the front and takes the reins from Leliana Alistair climbs in the back and Cullen hands her to him. Cullen secures her chains to the bottom of the wagon and then places the shackles on her legs. Neria is either unconscious or not caring for all of this. 

Bending before the Reverend Mother Cullen and Alistair receive her blessing and ride out of Honnleath with Neria in the wagon when they stop to pick up the others Wynne cast heal and then shakes her head. “I can't heal her with that much metal on her. We need to unbind her.” 

“Wynne we cannot unbind Neria.” Alistair is adamant. 

“Then push her body into the next grave Alistair, because we either unbind her or she dies.” Morrigan is glaring at the Templar. 

“Can you keep her under?” Cullen asks Morrigan.

“Maybe I might be able to keep her under long enough for us to heal her and rebind her.” Morrigan admits. 

They travel until dark and stop by a River that is in a clearing and far from the road. Setting up the camp Cullen waits until they are done and then takes Neria onto the other side of the River. “What are you doing?” Wynne asks following Cullen with Neria. 

“Preparing for disaster.” 

“I can.” 

“No you can't Alistair we both know she is way beyond your skills to control as a Templar. We both know at least one Warden needs to make it to the blight.” 

“You think she will kill you?” 

“Not on purpose but yes I do.” Cullen doesn’t want to discuss this, wants this done. 

“You still love her.” Alistair accuses surprised. 

“As long as the sun rises and sets I will love her. She is my first kiss. She asked me what I wished for my birthday and I said a kiss. She was 10; I had barely been there a week.” Alistair turns away and walks back to the fire and watches as Cullen starts removing the bindings. 

Cullen's breath becomes shallow when he realizes her fingers are broken in the gloves. Those gloves are holding her fingers together. Wynne gasps in horror seeing the damage. Dropping the gloves Cullen takes the manacles off and then moves to her earrings. Those he puts in a box next to his feet with her other jewelry. He does not remove her bracelet though he does turn it off. He knows as soon as he does it is a mistake. Neria's magic explodes throwing him to the ground and Morrigan and Wynne both back. Neria stands in the middle of it flames everywhere and yet Alistair knows she is casting heal on herself and Wynne and Morrigan. She does not heal Cullen and Alistair doesn't get a chance to dodge the stone fist she hits him with. She doesn't even register Sten, Jowen or Oghren. 

Neria is on the back of one of the horses and away from the camp in no time. Racing back to the Chantry she swears she will do what she said. Tossing a Fireball at the Chantry she smiles as the sisters and Templars comes out running. Neria casts Inferno on the Chantry and then shoots lightning at anything that moves. Neria smiles as she holds Yarric and Reverend Mother in a globe of fire and watches as the Templar rages at his inability to stop her. She holds them for hours as she watches the Chantry burn to the ground. None of the villagers have ventured forth to help or hinder when they have seen the Templar and Reverend Mother in the ball of fire. 

“Neria stop this!” Alistair begs. She has chosen ice for his prison. It was him who managed to ride after her. 

“I told them to let me go, that I was Neria and I was a Grey Warden. This man attacked Zevran in front of me even as he gave his word he would not. This woman stole my child and sent her who knows where. They will pay with their lives and I swear to you Alistair if you try to stop me I will kill you as well and Blight be damned.” With a wave of her hand she lets both Yarric and the mother loose. Yarric smites her and Neria laughs. “Oh little Templar, little bitty Templar you will have to do better than that.” 

“Agree to let me live and I will tell you where I sent your child.” 

“You will tell me or I will keep you alive for hours and watch you slowly burn as surely as you watches your Chantry burn. Tell me now and I offer you a swift death. Choose.” 

“Antiva by way of Tevinter Yarric's second can feel the magic in the child; she will be raised in Tevinter as a mage should be.” Neria nods and kills the woman with lightning. Yarric charges her with his sword drawn and Neria swats him away with a stone fist and then freezes him solid with cone of cold. Neria looks right at Alistair as she swings her staff into the block of ice and shatters the Templar. Turning on her bracelet she releases Alistair and casts heal and rejuvenate on him as he comes at her. Instead of saying anything or attacking her he goes past her to the horses and catches his and gets on it. Neria swings up on hers and follows him out of the town. Neither says a word as they ride back to the rest of the Companions. 

Wynne has healed Cullen and the Templar is okay if a bit frantic about Neria. “Alistair will stop her; she won't kill all those innocent people.” 

“You foolish foolish man Neria will kill every single person in that town and dance in the flames as it goes up. I only wish I can be there to see it.” Morrigan says her magic not recovered from Neria's explosion. 

“She will damn her soul for all eternity.” Leliana frets pacing. 

“They come.” Sten says and grabs Neria as the mage slides boneless into his arms. “She is spent. Wynne heal her. Cullen take her and I will see to the horses.” Wynne heals Neria and follows Cullen back to his camp with Neria. 

“Tell us.” Sten demands handing Alistair a bowl of stew and standing over him with his arms crossed. 

“She killed them all. Burned the Chantry down and held Yarric and Reverend Mother until last. Her child was sent to Antiva by way of Tevinter, they know she has magic. Yarric smited her, tried to cleanse her, even attacked her with his blade. She sent him sprawling and then turned him into an ice cube and shattered him. Her offer to the Mother though, told her she would tell her where the child is or she would slowly roast the woman like she did the Chantry. When the woman finally told her the information she killed her with lightning. Ack the smell I cannot follow her; she taints the Wardens by taking revenge.” 

“A daughter? She has a daughter?” Wynne asks dishing her own food and sitting wearily at the fire.

“Yes and Neria doesn't even know what she looks like.” Alistair states finishing his bowl. “I will have her brought up on charges if we survive the blight. I will not follow her into battle; child or not what she did to those people is horrible.” Alistair storms over to where Neria lays near the fire. 

Neria sits up and glares at Alistair. “If I don't survive the blight and you do, promise me you'll find her Alistair. Promise me she will be taken to the Dalish.” 

“You would ask this of me after what I just saw you do? What will you do to me if I refuse? Will you roast me slowly until I agree?” 

“No, Alistair. As king of Ferelden you might be the only person that will have the clout to get her away from the Tower. I don't want her to be afraid of her magic; I don't want them to use it against her. I don't want her raped by Templars. I want her to hear the trees and feel the grass. I want her to know what blue skies and fluffy clouds look like before she's 12 and headed to prison for killing a man. Don't punish her for your hatred of me Alistair.” Neria is begging. 

“You're really going to make me king?” Alistair is surprised at this. 

“Do you really want Loghain's daughter to rule?” Neria counters. 

“Fine, I will promise to find your daughter Neria. I will do everything in my power to make sure she gets to the Dalish. But I'm not following you into battle.” Alistair shakes his head no.

“Feel free to lead Your Highness.” Neria shouts and Alistair makes a rude gesture. Looking at the fire and the rest of the companions she looks at Cullen. "Where is Zevran?" 

Cullen doesn't look at her as he lies to her. He has to get her bound again. "He was injured, Wynne is watching him closely. Let's get you rebound and you can visit him." Neria accepts this, Cullen wouldn’t lie to her. Earrings in, arm bands on, bracelets on, ankle shackles on Neria crosses the river to the camp. 

"Which tent is he staying in?" 

"Who?" Alistair asks quietly doing a quick check on her bindings and reaching for his smite. 

"Zevran. Where is Zevran?" Neria looks at Alistair and Wynne expectantly. 

"Oh Neria, I'm so sorry." It's all Wynne can say before both Cullen and Alistair smite Neria. 

"Andraste's grace Alistair, Cullen! Couldn't you have made sure the rest of us were clear?" Wynne says getting up and brushing herself off. Jowen flies down and helps Morrigan up who is spitting mad at the men. 

Neria can turn her head but she cannot get up. They brought the damn board with them and Neria is strapped to it. "You lied to me!" She yells at Cullen thrashing in the chains. 

"Neria, I had to bind you, you would have killed all of us in your grief.” Alistair pleads with her. 

“Jowen? I want you to raise the corpses of that damn Templar so I may kill them again." Neria is crying and angry and absolutely powerless. "Why? Why did you not help him Leliana? How can you let them kill him?" 

"Do not cheapen his death by attacking the survivors Neria that is beneath you." Wynne says trying to reason with her. 

"I could have stopped them, I should have stopped them." Neria is raw with grief. 

"You would have likely been killed along with Zevran and your child. Master your grief and your anger. Kill the dark-spawn not us." Alistair is not sure how to manage this Neria. 

"Sleep, Morrigan make me sleep. Maybe I will wake from this nightmare and I will still be in Aeonar, for that hell is better than here." 

"You would go back to Aeonar? You remember where it’s at?" Jowen asks drawing closer waving Morrigan's spell off. 

"You want Lily don’t you?" Neria asks Jowen sadly. 

"Yes, she did not deserve the fate she got." 

“Aeonar is not far from here, it is actually on the way to Redcliffe." Neria offers slowly.

"What do you want for this?" Morrigan asks wary of this Neria. 

"I want Cullen and Alistair's promise they will return me to Aeonar if I live through the blight." 

"Done." Alistair agrees readily. Cullen nods but does not look at her. 

"Alistair, you are welcome to return to Redcliffe if you like. I'd rather not take a large group to Aeonar if I don’t have to." 

"Who would you take?" Alistair asks. 

"Cullen, Jowen, and Leliana rest can go with you if they want." 

"How are you going to get in?" Morrigan asks curious. 

"Cullen as a Templar, Leliana and Jowen as mage hunters and me as the prisoner." Neria thinks quickly. Alistair nods and returns to the fire. 

Morrigan casts sleep on Neria and debates on going with her or going with Alistair. "Sten?" 

"I will go with Alistair, she is right they need a small group." 

"You look fetching in the Templar armor though." He smiles, they have wandered away from the group but he does not reach for her. Morrigan smiles and reaches for him running fingers up and down his chest. He is comfortable in the leathers that go under his armor. Months out of the cage and fighting have made him extremely fit. His white hair still hangs in dreads but the sickly pallor of his skin is gone and his muscles are taught and defined. Morrigan herself has changed, more powerful than even she imagined she has learned much from this group. She is far curvier than Leliana but it is a seductresses curves and they suit her well. 

Going up on tip toe she kisses Sten slowly, seductively. He responds quickly deepening it but keeping himself ever in check. Bed sport between Qunari is dangerous; his teeth can bite through bone and tendon easily. His hand spans her waist and pulls her closer. Stroking with his hands he lifts her and she wraps her legs around him. She does not play rough with him; it is a practice in gentleness for them both. Holding her with one hand he slides a finger down and smiles as she is ready for him. Morrigan is always ready for him and he smiles at her gasp as he slides a finger in and strokes. His eye follows the movement of a bird and knows Jowen watches, always watches. "We have an audience." He says in Qun and Morrigan's eyes flash. He has taught her some phrases and she knows what is said. 

"I will punish him later, make me yours." Morrigan whispers tracing her tongue behind his ear and licks under his chin. It shows submission and Sten reacts instantly. Laying a cloak down on the ground he lays her down and is in her shortly. Morrigan arches her back taking Sten deeper. He leans down over her and Morrigan wraps her legs around him and traces her nails down his back. 

"Ware what you do." Sten warns and Morrigan nods even as Sten pulls her to his chest sitting to get a better angle. Morrigan traces his muscles with his fingers sending light pulses of magic. Stilling his movement he kisses her then moves to her neck tracing it with his teeth, it's a subtle warning as his teeth are very sharp. Morrigan is ever one to dance with the devil though and pushes him back allowing her to ride, one hand on his chest still tracing and raking nails as the other reaches back to stroke his balls. His hands trace their own fire over her bare skin. She is a true study in black in white with long black hair that falls around them both. It highlights her alabaster skin that has stood the test of walking all over the country under the sun. In the moonlight she looks exactly like what she is, a powerful sorceress enjoying a man every bit her equal of magic in sheer physical strength. 

Neria's dreams are horrible; they dance between the dark-spawn and memories of her and Zevran. Her mind is trying to figure out how to cope with this Neria, she failed Zevran. She can't even keep their daughter safe, can't even get her where she needs to go. She will grow up in a tower in a far off land and be told her parents are dead. She can't keep her magic in control, has to sleep trussed up like a prisoner and parts of her hope she never wakes up at all. She wants her anger, needs the anger but even that is denied her. Loss and failure and the knowledge she will always be alone. She is not safe with people and that is the bitterest pill to swallow. 

Cullen places a hand on Neria's head stroking her cheek and wiping the tears. He needs her to be functioning and he has no idea how to get her there. He walks to Alistair's tent and raps on the flap. Alistair flips the flap open and then comes out when he sees its Cullen. "Do you want me to leave her in Aeonar?" 

"No, she is a Warden. She needs to remember her duty to them." 

"Then you need to make peace with her, she will not follow you into battle." 

"So long as the Arch demon dies I don't care how we get it done. I want three things right now, Arch demon dead, Loghain dead, and the crown however if she kills us all in the process than it's a waste." 

"So you want revenge on Loghain but won't follow her because she extracted revenge?" Cullen crosses his arms looking at the younger man. 

"You did not see what she did to those people, you did not hear her, she enjoyed it Cullen. She enjoyed torturing those people she enjoyed watching them die." 

"So you will not enjoy Loghain's death? You do not enjoy killing the dark-spawn? When the sun sets and the prayers are said we are killers every single one of us she did what she had to do and if it managed to keep her sane then I would let her do it again." Cullen walks away and notices Sten returning to the camp. Leliana's tent is dark though he knows the bard is probably crying as well. Each of the members will mourn Zevran in their own way. Returning to his bedroll he lays his hand on Neria's trying to offer comfort. 

Morrigan casts a lightning and brings Jowen out of the tree to lay at her feet. "Explain yourself." She demands eyes and magic snapping. Jowen looks back to see Cullen's head snap around to where they are but moves on to Neria. 

Sighing at the lack of help Jowen faces the witch. "I thought you would not mind." 

"Truly? Or did you wish to be Sten? What of your love we head out to save in the morning? Will we find her with your child in her belly?" Morrigan is furious and gorgeous in it. 

"No, I never." Jowen stammers. 

"Ah, you wished for an education then? Next time ask. I would not actually teach you, I find you repulsive but I would allow you to watch. Now though, if I catch you again you will regret it. Understand?" Morrigan walks past him casting another lightning that sends him into spasms. 

With the Keeper’s help Zevran is up and wants to head to Neria. “I can get to her and get her loose.” Zevran argues and the Keeper tells him no. 

“You are not recovered enough and you know it, it will take weeks for you to be able to have that stamina. You lost too much blood and are still fighting an infection stay Zevran, please.” Zevran nods and traces the thin line across his throat. 

Mithras approaches him one night and sits by him on the log. “There was a fire at Honneleath, Chantry is destroyed and many of the servants of their god are dead. All of the Templars were killed.” 

“Neria, she might have been able to get free and have the child. She was due on All Souls day. If you are going to her I am going with you.” Zevran says and Mithras nods. 

When they get to the clearing Zevran pales at the sight of Neria on the board, he can tell she’s had the child but he hears no infant. Observing the camp they see Cullen but not Alistair and not any of the others. Zevran narrows his eyes at the Templar. Did he take her for himself? “Mithras, it’s better if she doesn’t know I lived, that I am here. This was a mistake.” Zevran says and Mithras nods. Zevran watches Neria, she is a ghost of the woman he fell in love with. This Neria is broken, beaten and utterly heartbroken. When he hears their daughter is gone, has been taken by the Chantry he wants to weep. “May you find peace and love cara, may your life in chains be filled with some happiness.” Zevran whispers to her and watches as she leaves with Cullen. 

“You are welcome to stay with us Zevran, you can teach our warriors a lot and they can teach you. When you are ready to move on you are welcome to.” Mithras says and Zevran nods. 

"We have guests." Leliana says her bow drawn as she backs towards Neria and Cullen. She kicks water from the river at Cullen who wakes quickly unsheathing his great sword and casting cleanse on Neria to wake her. It is false dawn and all of the companions are asleep. Neria is groggy but awake enough to fight her chains. 

"You will let the Little Keeper go Shem." Mithras says her bow drawn and aimed at Leliana 

"You will remember who you are speaking to." Alistair has his sword drawn and the rest of the companions are up and moving. 

"Alistair, we did not know you were with Little Keeper. We only saw this Templar and her in chains. Where is her child? Why is she bound like this? Neria? How are you doing?" Speaking rapidly in elven Neria says she is fine that her jailers are keeping her chained for good reason. 

"Cullen unbind me please." 

"No." Alistair says crossing the river and standing in front of Cullen and Neria. 

"Little keeper wishes to be free you will free her Alistair. I will kill you here and now if you do not free her." Cullen frees Neria though keeps her in range. Neria holds her hand out to Mithras and the elf puts her bow down and the rest of the elves step out of the woods. "We came to see if something happened to Neria since she had not come to us to deliver her child. We find her in the company of a Templar shackled like a prisoner." 

"Break your fast with us? It is not a tale to be told on an empty stomach for none of it is nice." Leliana says reaching Neria and running a hand down her arm. Neria waits until they have all eaten before she tells what happened to her. All of the companions are numb. They were almost in time and they failed her. 

"Zevran is dead, died hours after we retrieved him." Mithras says and Neria is moved to tears. "Where do you go now?" 

"I am headed to Aeonar with a small group to free a friend and then we will move to Redcliffe. Now is the time to gather the troops." 

"Then we will go with Alistair to Redcliffe and meet you there Little Keeper." 

"Thank You." 

"It is good you have found your mother tongue." Neria smiles at that, doesn't say it was Zevran who taught her since he learned so much of it in their brief time with the Dalish. It is another dagger to the heart and Neria moves to get ready to leave. 

"We will not be able to bring the board with us Cullen." 

"Then I guess you will be sleeping with me." Neria's head snaps up at that. "Skin to skin contact will nullify your magic, you know this Neria." Neria nods. Goodbyes are brief and the group divides quickly Morrigan and Jowen in crow form. They are a silent group as they travel and Neria wonders if this will always be the case. Leliana is afraid to speak to her, hurt and ashamed at her failure. Cullen just wants the job done, their mutual attraction numb in the face of her loss. Jowen has ever been the silent one unless he needs something and he is scared for Lily.

Alistair leads his group north with the elves and as they travel they come across more and more refugees and people wanting to fight. All of the companions take turns teaching these peasants and farmers how to fight. Sten does not like it but as Alistair points out an army is an army. Most of the villagers flee from Morrigan which makes her laugh though she is far gentler with the children. Wynne is quiet and motherly staying with Shale and asking her questions about her past life. While in the deep roads they had found her name on the stone and she had been able to speak to Carridan before he died. Shale bemoans the little puny humans but does not comment much. Oghren chooses to head to Lake Calenhad to see an old flame of his. "I will follow the dwarves when they come Alistair, you won't need me until then anyways." Alistair nods as the red headed dwarf leaves. 

Arriving in Redcliffe Alistair is in talks with Eamon most of the time which leaves the other companions time to pursue their own interests. "Where is Neria?" Conner asks and Alistair smiles at the boy. 

"She is on her own adventure for the moment she will be here soon. How go the magic studies?" 

"Difficult, Irving sends one of the Enchanters to teach me since the Tower is still unfit but it's hard work." 

"Why don't you study with me Conner? I am a creation mage and I have trained apprentices before." Wynne offers and the little boy is ecstatic.


	22. Aeonar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Torture- Read at your own risk.   
> “When the sun sets and the prayers are said we are killers every single one of us she did what she had to do and if it managed to keep her sane then I would let her do it again." Cullen

Cullen calls for camp as darkness falls. Camp is quickly set up though Cullen sets his and Neria's tents away from Jowen and Leliana "Fire?" Leliana asks and Cullen shakes his head no. It's a warm night and they will not need the flames. Neria has first shift and Cullen settles in to sleep. Stripping down to his leather pants it is a lot of bare skin for Neria to deal with. Zevran was a tawny color all over, Cullen is a golden brown and just huge compared to the slight assassin. Having been carried in those arms a few times Neria is well aware of the strength but seeing it in its naked glory is different. He settles down and falls to sleep quickly. Neria sits and lets her mind wander. 

"Cullen, time to wake up Templar, I need sleep." Neria says as she slips out of her robes and drop them next to his gear. Cullen wakes up and draws a breath in as she stands in just her shift. He reaches for her without even realizing he is doing it and kisses her hard. She reacts instantly by biting his lip and slapping him. “No Cullen, not now I can't.” 

Cullen backs off secures her into her shackles for the night watches as she sleeps watches as they all sleep. Next morning Cullen releases Neria. Putting his shirt on he picks Neria up and settles her on his lap. "Shh, I'm sorry. I have no idea what came over me last night, I shouldn't have." 

"No, I know what you want I just I miss Zevran." Cullen stiffens at this and Neria shakes her head sadly. "Not that Cullen, I just miss him. I know we ended things, I just." And he kisses her putting his forehead on hers. 

"You don't have to explain to me Neria. You loved each other, I get it. What happened last night though, that will not happen again." 

"Cullen, there is nothing wrong with what you wanted last night, I just can't right now.” 

Reaching Aeonar it is nothing for them to admit Neria fully bound with her escorts. As they head to the prison block Neria's blood curdles when she hears the one voice she hoped to never hear again. Garret is there to greet her and Neria is afraid truly afraid of this man with the whip, he who marked her permanently when others can't. He who taught a 12 year old child to fear her magic Neria has cooperated until she hears him. When she does she stops and starts to struggle. Cullen and Leliana are looking at each other with questions and Jowen is getting ready to cast a sleep on her. "Settle down mage, plenty of time. Oh Neria, oh how I have missed you. Give us a taste?" Garret quickly strides to her and rips at her shift it easily parts showing her arm bands. Cullen goes to interfere, "You will stand aside Templar, this one and I have catching up to do." Cullen releases her and Neria fights more as Garret pulls off the arm band and then the other one. Her wrists are released and Neria's magic is reacting to her fear. Garret’s hand goes to his belt to get the whip when the Warden comes in. 

"Garret, at least get her back to the cell before you enjoy her. Welcome back Neria, I am sure Heta would be sad to see you back here again Andraste rest her soul." Now Neria is truly fighting but she is powerless against Garret who absorbs any of her magical outbursts on the damn armor he wears. "You are dismissed Templar." 

"We are here for the prisoner Lily. Gregor has requested her release to come back to the tower. You will see the documents are in order here." Cullen lays the forged documents down and waits as the Warden reads them and then nods. 

"You may take her in the morning; Beric can show you to the guest quarters. You are welcome to check on your prisoner if you like." Cullen, Leliana and Jowen follow Beric into the door Neria just went through. They pass several doors and Cullen's fear elevates when he hears the slap of a whip on flesh and then Neria's cries of pain. Marking the door Leliana melts into the shadows to keep an eye on Neria while Jowen and Cullen head to see Lily. 

Lily is in a cage and has been tortured. Not to the extent Neria has but they have had some fun with her and Cullen is furious. "Your torturer does good work." Jowen says coldly looking at Beric. 

"He is one of the best." Entire cell block rumbles with an explosion and Beric smiles. "Garret’s unbound Neria, now the real fun begins." 

"Shouldn't you check on him?" Cullen asks mystified at the jovial tone. 

"Nah, Neria can't do anything to Garret, his suit protects him even from her." 

"He's impervious to any of her damage?" Cullen asks disbelieving. 

"Yes, dwarves made it generations ago. He comes from a long line of that work and all of them wear that armor." 

"Interesting." Cullen says as Beric drops to the ground from Jowen's blade to the man's back. "Up Lily, time to get you out of here." 

"Jowen, you came for me."

"I never wanted this for you Lily, I am so sorry." Jowen says getting the door open. 

"Apologies later, I have to get an unbound Neria out of this place." Cullen is striding quickly through the halls back to where he heard Neria. Jowen is helping Lily and Cullen waves them into a room by the door out. "Stay here, I or Leliana will be back for you. Jowen heal her if you can and don't touch the walls." 

"I am well aware of Aeonar's habit of stealing magic, I grew up on the same tales you did." Cullen nods and goes to the room meeting Leliana there. 

"Plan?" Cullen asks Leliana and the bard shakes her head no. 

"She has no mage metal on at all and her magic is going insane. His armor must protect him because he is not stopping. He's broken her arm and at least three ribs." 

"Why is the prison not taking her magic?" Cullen is curious. 

"This room is different, almost like it enjoys the pain and amplifies it." Leliana is mystified. 

Neria hangs from a hook in the middle of the cell, her left arm shattered and she feels the blood from the cuts of the whips and smells her flesh burning as she feeds the whip on fire. "Ice Neria, you need ice so give me that." Neria closes her eyes to ask for control and he lays open her shoulder. "Ice Neria, you will give me ice." Neria's eyes fly open and the entire room is coated in ice. "Good girl, you have learned control. Well done, now heal; we have a long way to go yet." Neria does as commanded. Cullen bursts through the door as Neria heals herself and smiles as Garret takes an arrow to the neck courtesy of Leliana Getting her loose Cullen checks to make sure Garret is dead even as he gathers up the mage metal and starts putting it on Neria. 

"We will likely have to fight our way out of here if we can't get her a disguise of some sort." Leliana says helping Neria stand back up. Cullen looks at the armor on Garret. 

"Help me with the armor we are going to put her in that and walk right out of here." Cullen says looking down at the man dead on the floor. 

"Neria, armor, we need to put it on you how you doing lovely?" Leliana says and Neria rouses a little and then blinks owlishly at Leliana and then Cullen. 

"I'll be okay, let’s get out of here Garret’s armor? That is brilliant! It will hide my magic but I won't be able to cast. If we get into trouble we will have to depend on the rest of you." Neria   
straps on the leg guards and arm bands. Lifting the helm off of Garret she is shocked to see a rather attractive man. Lifeless green eyes look up at her from a handsome face with shocking black hair. "He is too pretty to be this horrible of a man." Neria says looking at Leliana 

"Sometimes pretty things are the most horrible." Leliana says hauntingly and Neria knows she has to talk to the bard soon. Gathering Jowen and Lily they are through the door with a brief nod at the men on duty. 

"Will they pursue us?" Cullen asks scooping Lily up when she falls behind. 

"No, they won't. They had no idea I was coming back and the Warden won't admit to having me only to lose me. Lily wasn't high value either." Neria says taking the helmet off ease her breathing. Jowen casts Haste and they walk through the night with Lily walking and being carried by Cullen and Jowen. When the dawn comes they are back in the clearing they camped at the night before. Neria is out of the hated armor and into her robes shortly. 

She grabs Cullen's sword and brings it down on the whip cutting it in two. "Better?" Cullen asks taking his blade back. 

"Yes. Thank you."

"For what?" Leliana asks truly curious. 

"For not leaving me there, I wasn’t sure if Alistair told you to or not." 

"He told me not to, you are needed Neria. I know these months have been hard but we're getting to the end." Cullen says smiling. 

"Besides, you're the Warden Commander, not him." Jowen says looking at Neria. 

"Jowen, we need to talk. Walk with me?" Lily asks and Jowen moves off with her. 

Leliana and Neria busy themselves with getting food cooking and Neria takes the chance to find out more about the bard. "So why were you in Lothering?" 

"I was hunted." Leliana answers shrugging. 

"Why?" Neria presses. 

"Because I was sent on a mission by my boss and found out she was double dealing." Leliana is not looking at Neria as she says this. 

"Did you turn her in?" Neria is curious then. 

"No, I loved her and I believed her. But she turned me in, I it was a traitor’s sentence. When I escaped I came to Ferelden and took shelter in Lothering." Leliana says finally facing Neria. 

"This woman will always haunt you; do you think you are truly safe from her?" Neria asks grabbing Leliana's arm to get her to look at her. 

"No, months ago one of the bandit attacks we went through was a message from her." Leliana confesses. 

"Why did you not say something?" Neria is angry at this. 

"I truly thought it was my fault, her name is Marjorie. When we are back in Denerim I should make a visit to her." Leliana looks at Neria sadly and plays with one of the braids in her hair. It is a way for her to deal with what she has to say what she does not want to ask. 

"We will go see her together Leliana; I will do whatever you want." 

"Thank You Neria, it feels good to get that out loud." Neria nods and hugs the bard. 

"Jowen, I am thankful you came back for me. But I want to go home, I have family in Redcliffe" Lily says taking Jowen away from the camp and settling on a log. 

"We are headed to Redcliffe; you would be safe traveling with us." Jowen offers trying to stay with her longer. He needs to get her to love him again. 

"I, thank you that would be wonderful." 

"What happened to us?" Jowen asks his hands going to his black hair and pulling in frustration. He thought she would forgive him, thought she would still love him. 

"You lied to me, kept secrets from me and you’re a blood mage." 

"Neria is a primal mage and Morrigan is an entropy mage you don't seem to have a problem with them." Jowen points out trying to reason with her, he wants to touch that red hair, run his finger down that satiny smooth cheek. 

"Yes but none of those are forbidden, yours is." Lily turns away unable and unwilling to face the man she loved. Jowen walks up behind her and wraps his arms around her. Lily fights him for a moment but stops and cries. "I can't, please don't Jowen. Please let me go." Jowen releases her suddenly and turns into a bird and flies off.


	23. Tunes of Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sometimes pretty things are the most horrible." Leliana

Traveling to Redcliffe Neria's group is thoughtful and quiet. Jowen stays in bird form for the most part and Lily cries. Leliana entertains them all with tales while Cullen tries to justify what he and Neria did. Neria goes between elation at finally getting close to the end and grief for the loss of child and lover. When they arrive in Redcliffe the companions are greeted by Bann Teegan and Connor. Teegan is happy to see Neria alive and okay if bound more than the last time they met. "Neria, it is good to see you and you bring guests." Neria introduces the rest of the group and laughs as Leliana teases the Bann for forgetting her so soon. 

Wynne smiles and waves when she sees Neria and the rest, Sten nods to Neria Alistair doesn't even look up from his conversation with Earl Eamon. "He has not forgiven me then." Neria says to Leliana hurt in her eyes. 

"You two need to make your peace before we march out." Cullen says receiving a nod from Alistair. Morrigan's nod to Neria is warmer than expected but the two are friends only when Morrigan wants to be. 

"Servia can show you to your rooms. Neria, you and Cullen will have the same room as last time." Neria nods her agreement and thanks to Eamon and follows the slight elf serving girl up the stairs. 

"Drop my stuff? I want to go to the Chantry first." Neria shoulders Cullen’s pack and does not miss the coldness of the tone.

"Off to try and get forgiveness for sins he did not commit?" Leliana asks as they enter Neria's room. 

"To him we sin, to me we are enjoying each other." Neria shrugs still confused and grieving. 

"You do not love him?" Leliana is surprised. 

"No, that honor belongs to Zevran and well he knows it." Neria shakes her head no and looks at Leliana. 

"He loves you, has since you were his first kiss." Leliana confides smiling as she says it. 

"What, surely you jest! I was 10 and he was 18, a man grown surely." Neria looks at Leliana for signs of a joke. 

"No, that was his first kiss and he loves you dearly." 

"Ah, then I do him a disservice encouraging what I cannot give him. You must think me cruel to do this to two men, three if you count Alistair." 

"Alistair and you never had a chance Neria. He is innocent in the arts of love thought you a forbidden fruit to show him the way."Leliana shakes her head no at this line of thought. 

"I, I never thought of him that way truly. Certainly not after Zev, oh I miss him." Neria swipes at the tears that fall from her eyes. 

"You and Zevran, now that was a love for the ages both of you with such troubled pasts, you healed each other. Your daughter, oh I'm sorry Neria." She stops when she sees Neria's instant reaction of pain. 

"No, I, I don't even know what she looks like, if she got Zevran's eyes or mine, his chin or mine." 

"Alistair will find her; will get her if he can. Hold onto that. What about Gregor or Irving? Would they help?" 

"No, for all the love they bore me they would never go against the Chantry for a child." Neria is taking deep breathes to calm down and needs a distraction. 

"Want me to wash your hair?" Leliana asks as Neria uses magic to fill the tub with hot steamy water. 

"No, I truly wish to be alone for the moment though I will fill a tub for you if you like." 

"That would be wonderful." Leliana leads on to her room and smiles as the servants stop with the buckets of water to watch Neria magic water out of thin air. 

Done with the task she returns to her room to find Cullen in the tub dozing. "Short prayer session?" 

"No, there were others in there and I did not wish to disturb them. I will pray another time." 

"What do you pray for?" Neria is truly curious and as she asks she approaches the tub and gets the soap and cloth. Dipping the cloth in she scrubs it with the soap and then starts washing   
Cullen starting with his chest. She sits behind him so she cannot see his face. 

"For us to be successful, for my family and those of the ones lost to the dark-spawn for the ability to deny my feelings for you." Neria stops and tries to let go of the cloth when Cullen stops her and kisses her palm. 

"You cannot lay with me and then ask for absolution for breaking your oaths as a Templar Cullen, you are no longer a Templar." 

"There was a note for me here from the tower. I am a Templar and always will be. You are a mage and always will be. Gregor has asked me to stop the blight with you and then to return to the tower. He wants to train me to take over for him." Cullen is slightly excited. 

"Why you?" Neria asks curiously. 

"Because like him I can see both sides of the coin, I lived through Uldred; I know what you can become. I also know you struggle just to stay sane, to keep control on powers you did not   
choose." Neria is crying and she has no idea why. Cullen turns and sees her crying, pulls her to him and into the tub with him. 

"Ugh I did not want to get wet yet." 

"This tub is not big enough for the both of us love; I am clean enough I think." Cullen stands up Neria in his arms and gets out of the tub undoing the laces on her robes and pulling off her boots as she laughs he dumps her into the tub. 

"Oaf! You wicked man!" Neria sends some water at him and laughs as Cullen stands dripping on the floor. Warming the water a bit Neria sighs in content as Cullen pulls a chair over and starts unbraiding her hair. "So what of us?" Neria asks not daring to hope. 

"Nothing, we need to stop the blight and after that you will go to Aeonar and I will go to the tower unless you wish to return to the tower with me?" Cullen asks curious as well. 

"No, I can't live bound like this Cullen. You know the pain these cause me." Neria indicates the shackles on her wrists along with the arm bands and torque. 

"I do, I also know they are necessary. However I cannot control what they do to you in Aeonar, I can control what happens to you in the Tower." 

Neria is quiet as she washes her body and then hair. Cullen is patient; he who has watched her for hours is used to her quiet moments. When she stands he helps her out of the tub though is surprised when she pushes him back into the chair and straddles him. "Ah, Neria, no. I, we cannot." Neria cuts him off with a hard kiss and a bite to his lip. 

"Owe what is that for?" 

"Until this blight is done you are not a Templar, I cannot change being a mage. I would if I could." 

"Would you really?" Cullen catches her face in his hand making her look at him even as she slides her gaze away and then to him. 

"Yes, I would gladly give up my magic in a heartbeat. It has brought me nothing but pain, despair and loss." 

"Do not discount love so quickly Neria. It has brought you love, joy, and companions." Neria turns her head away, gets off of him and strides away. 

"Companions that fear me for good reason I bring death and destruction. I broke a man's heart trying to make sure I didn't kill him. I sleep in chains, fight constantly with myself to know what is right and wrong. I have to have a Jailer; will always have a jailer, and my magic cost me my child. Only mages may not keep their children, why is that? Why can I not raise my own child? Teach her magic?" Neria is on fire literally and Cullen crosses to wrap her in his arms wincing at the flames and casts cleanse. Neria does not miss the charring flesh and heals Cullen and does not step out of his arms. 

"Mages are feared, Chantry Law dictates only the Chantry may control the education of mages. It is that way for a reason. Least you forget the Tevinter mages and why Andraste marched in the first place." 

"I know Andraste marched to free this land from a regime of mages but that fear is making my life and every other mage a living nightmare." Cullen does not have a defense for this, has nothing to dissuade her from this. Instead he turns her and kisses her. She accepts the kiss and all that comes with it though both know once they are outside these doors he will be the jailer and she will be the prisoner. 

Eamon wants to march in the next couple of days and Alistair is doing his best to avoid Neria. Surrounded by an army she knows she will not be able to talk to him until they get to Denerim. She decides to wait until he comes to bed the night before they leave for Denerim. She tells Cullen this and he nods knowing this conversation needs to happen. When Alistair comes in it's to a sleeping Neria on his bed and he smiles. She looks innocent and completely unable to harm anyone, he also knows better and he's still angry with her. "Neria?" He asks tentatively reaching out to her to shake her. 

"Uh oh dammit Alistair I'm sorry." Neria lashed out with her magic and freezes Alistair solid. It only holds him a moment as he cleanses it and thinks about smiting her as well. 

"What do you want?" Alistair is not in his armor that is on the armor stand in the corner and has been polished to a blinding brightness. He wears a forest green tunic and brown pants that   
brings out the blondness in his hair as well as offsets his eyes. He pulls a chair and turns it around and straddles it conceding the bed to Neria for the moment. 

"Peace." 

"I, I can't Neria. Not after, what we've been through. Not with the decisions we've made. I should have stepped up, I should have led. I thought we were okay and then you killed all of those people in front of me. You enjoyed their deaths, enjoyed their suffering." 

"I did, you want me to regret my decisions. You want me to regret Isolde, Jowen and Honnleath and I won't. I won't regret Loghain or the Arch demon either. But you will, you will regret them all except Loghain because you think you are justified in your revenge and I am not. What if that had been your child Alistair? Would you have stopped me then? Would you have threatened to find out where that child is? Or would you have shrugged your shoulders and thought your daughter was better off in Chantry hands?" 

"Don't Neria, don't go down that path. I can't go down that road with you." Alistair is up and pacing, trying to figure a way to peace with this damn mage. This mage that makes him question everything he was taught to believe. 

"Will you follow me into battle Alistair? Can I trust you not to smite me unless I am blowing up the wrong thing?" Neria asks seriously, she is tired and frustrated and her magic is reacting accordingly. 

"Get off my bed." 

"What?" 

"Get off the bed; I don’t want my bed on fire Neria. If you are going to throw a temper tantrum I'd like to make sure I can go to sleep after it." 

Neria laughs, truly laughs and does get off the bed. "I am off your bed oh future king. This is interesting since there was a time you wanted me in it." 

"For which I regret, I should have left you with Morrigan and did this on my own." 

Neria lifts an eyebrow and glares at Alistair. "Truly? You could have handled all of what we have been through without me? You could have dealt with it all?" 

"Yes, no. No I couldn't have but dammit why!" 

"Whatever excuse you will accept is what I am going to say Alistair. We have gone circles around our issues and they haven only gotten worse. You made me commander and I am going to command you to deal with your issues and follow my lead when we go into battle. Good news, it will be dark-spawn we face not possessed children, women who beat you and locked you in the stable or Templars who rape me and Reverend Mothers taking my child should be really easy to see who the enemy is." Neria is crying hot angry tears and Alistair is in shock. 

"Neria?" It’s Cullen who knocks on the door and then walks in. He leans against the wall and looks at the two of them. He is in a white tunic and dark pants, he should be sleeping and Neria knows it’s because of her he is not. "Real progress must be going on in here. She's in tears and your angry enough to cause her real damage with that smite if you let it loose." Neria looks at Alistair her tears forgotten as she clenches her fist with flames in one and ice in the other. "Oh no you two, you are not doing this here in the castle. Both of you settle down or at least take it out of the castle where the damage will be minimal." Alistair moves to his armor and starts putting it on. "Really? You really think you can take her?" Cullen asks surprised. 

"Yes, I think I can. We shall settle this in combat." Alistair says continuing with this armor. 

"Fine but I'm bringing Wynne and Morrigan, I'd rather not be blown up and you Alistair are going to need healer." Cullen turns and goes to get the healer and the witch. Sten was in Morrigan's room and they do not like the disruption until Cullen tells them why then she smiles. "Finally!" Wynne and Shale are not as enthusiastic about this as Morrigan is. Cullen wakes Leliana as well and Jowen. Mine as well get them all up to enjoy this. They make their way outside the castle to a valley where minimal damage will come to anything but the land. 

Morrigan and the others wait on a hill above where the combat is. Neria looks tiny in just her robes while Alistair looks every bit the king in his Warden Armor. 

Alistair opens with Smite which Neria laughs at as she casts a fireball at him and follows it up with a shock. "I don't think she is playing with him." Sten comments. 

"No, though I do hope she doesn't kill him. She needs him, we all do." Leliana says worry clear in her voice. 

"She is still fully bound, I wonder if she did that on purpose." Shale says and they all look at the Golem in surprise. Alistair is trying to get to her with his blade and Neria commands the land come alive for her and traps him in roots. He bashes through those only to be frozen solid and then shocked. It would have shatters him except he had cast cleanse in time to only get shocked. 

"Yield Alistair, do not make me kill you." Neria says walking towards Alistair. 

"Never will I follow you; you must pay for your sins." Alistair keeps his shield up and trying to get to her. 

"I do Alistair, every night when I am strapped to a board by metal that weighs almost as much as I do. I pay every day when you strap that same metal on me and I allow it. You have seen my scars, know how much that metal burns." As she says burn she slips her hand to his neck where his armor does not protect him. Alistair roars in pain and slashes at her. "I have allowed you to bind me so I can help you, so we can stop this blight together. Duncan thought we would make a good team." Neria barely gets out of the way of the blade and asks the   
roots to hold him sill. They oblige. 

"Duncan was wrong, he tied me to a murderer who has no remorse for the deeds she does. Has no control over her power and makes the rest of us suffer for it." 

Neria stops at this banish all of her spells and stand in front of Alistair. "I do have remorse, I see their faces every night Alistair. I cannot help my control, I wish I could. Kindness did not teach me control, patience did not teach me control, neither did pain. Do you think I would choose this? Do you think I would choose to either be in constant pain or alone for my entire life? Those are my choices Alistair." She rattles the chains she wears at him. "There is no healing for me, there is no make it better." As she says this she casts heal on him removing the sting of the burn and any trace of it. "But if you have all the answers and truly think I am that evil then end it now." Neria drops to her knees and bows her head at Alistair. 

Morrigan casts silence on Cullen and Sten holds the Templar as he tries to go down to Neria, to stop the fight. "Let this play out Cullen, it's now or never." Leliana says even as she is fighting herself to get down there. Alistair looks up at the group on the hill, he knows they wait for his decision and it galls him. She would place her life in his hands. Then he laughs, this is what she has faced people baring their necks for her and daring her to take the blow, including him. 

Alistair sheathes his sword and pulls her up. "I will follow you but please listen before you start blowing people up." 

"I will try. Do you mind if I let my magic free for a moment? This is truly too good an opportunity to pass up." 

"Cullen. She wants to be unbound." Cullen nods and heads down. Quickly they take the jewelry off except her bracelet and head back up the hill to watch the show. 

Neria turns off the bracelet and then takes it off. Her magic explodes out and then up as it hits her force field. She laughs in pure joy as her magic explodes in a combo of ice/fire/lightning arcing up and out. "Why is it none of you ever need to do that?" Leliana asks looking from Wynne to Morrigan to Jowen. 

"My version of that is group heal or haste and that's about it." Wynne says chuckling. 

"Mine raises the dead and makes all the plant life die. It's impressive but not like that." Morrigan shrugs and then laughs with Neria as her magic dumps a foot of snow on her. 

"I'm in with Morrigan, when I let my blood magic loose it gets a little crazy but it just coats everything in blood and I get light headed." Jowen says and then shrugs when everyone looks at him. Neria's magic is winding down slowly and the group heads down to collect her. Cullen and Alistair approach her casting cleanse and she pouts but accepts the jewelry. None of them miss how she goes from an ecstatic little girl to a depressed prisoner as more jewelry is added. 

Cullen tips her chin up and she gives him a brave smile as he wipes her tears and hugs her close. "Shh, I know, it's okay." 

All of them return to bed for a few hours and Cullen does not bind her to the board but crawls into the bed with her. She curls around him and smiles as he rubs a thumb into her hand and kisses the top of her head. Waking up when the rest of the household starts moving Neria is up and in her robes shortly and helps Cullen with his straps. "I need to help Leliana when we are in Denerim; she needs to see an old friend." 

"Do you want me with you?" Cullen asks strapping his great sword to his back and walking to check Neria's bindings. 

"Yes if you do not mind. This will be painful for her and I am not sure what kind of reception we will receive." 

"Then I will be there."


	24. Hard Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Mages are feared, Chantry Law dictates only the Chantry may control the education of mages. It is that way for a reason. Least you forget the Tevinter mages and why Andraste marched in the first place."-Cullen

Travel to Denerim is slow and tedious. None of the horses will allow Neria near them so she walks along with the servants all of whom are scared of her. Most of the army is staying in Redcliffe and Eamon is only taking those nobles who have decided to travel with him. Alistair and Cullen take turns walking with her though Cullen is in full Templar mode and Alistair is in full king mode neither of which is conducive to talking to her. "You really should learn to fly Neria; it is a marvelous thing to soar over the battle field." Morrigan says as they make camp one night. 

"Thank you but no. I am happy with my magic getting out of control in human form, I am sure I'd be flying along and bam bear and bam snake." Jowen laughs at this knowing Neria's magic would probably do that. 

"Has your magic settled yet?" Wynne asks and Neria furrows her brow at the old mage and shakes her head. 

"No, it has gotten a little better since but no it is still getting stronger. We added more bracelets last night." Neria holds up her arms which jingle like chimes. 

"Neria, come with me please." Alistair is standing over her and holding his hand out to her. She nods and gets up as he keeps a hand on her arm. 

"I promise to follow you; you can take your hand off of me now." Neria tries to get loose and Alistair releases her as they stop at a line of horses all of whom are blowing and snorting with her near. "Death by horse, I never saw that coming." 

"What oh, no, here this is Tanis Gurren. He's a blacksmith." Neria looks at Alistair and then around for Cullen and tries to figure out why they are there. "He wants to take your bracelets and turn them into bracers so you won't be so jingly." 

Neria laughs a little at that. "Jingly? Does he have enough metal to do that?" 

"Yes elf I do so start takin em off." Alistair bristles at the man's attitude and Neria shakes her head no. 

"I don’t think this is a good idea Alistair, if he's got my metal what are you going to bind me with?" 

"There is a contingent of mages here with their Templars. We can keep you contained." Alistair says simply. 

"Is this the mage your highness?" A Templar walks up behind Neria and Alistair nods. "Come with us mage, it shouldn't take the smith long to make the bracers." Neria turns to see 8   
Templars and looks back at Alistair. 

"You are coming with me right?" Alistair shakes his head no and Neria tamps down her fear. She can do this, she has to trust Alistair. "Lead on Ser?" 

"Belin, mage though you may call all of us Templar." 

"I am a Grey Warden, not mage, my name is Neria and you will afford me the respect that title earns me." The blow shocks Neria but she keeps her magic in check. 

"You will not speak back to me again mage." One of the other Templars grabs her arm and drags her towards the rest of the mages. They are subdued, some chained, others working spells in the fade. There are 4 mages and none of them even look up when Neria is hauled in. There are two contingents of Templars here, 16 in total for 4 mages. 

They set her down on the ground roughly and Neria sits quietly as they bring a board and chains for her. Gloves, mask, shackles, belt and manacles. They are not taking any chances with her and she submits. Alistair is trying to help her and she will accept this is her mantra as they strip the bracelets save her original one. She is strapped to the board and the gloves are put on and secured to her waist. She is fully bound and completely at their mercy and it is a feeling Neria hopes to never repeat as the mask slides in place blocking her view.

"Where is Neria?" Cullen asks returning from one of the many armor smiths with Leliana. 

"We assumed she was with you." Morrigan says slightly worried. 

"Can you feel her anywhere?" He asks Morrigan and rubs his arms as a sudden chill washes over him. 

"No, which is interesting? Since I met her I've always been able to feel here even when she was miles away. Now I feel nothing." 

"Where is Alistair?" Leliana asks looking at the rest of the group. 

"Perhaps they are together? Alistair took her somewhere earlier." Wynne says worriedly 

"No Alistair is walking there." Sten says and nods behind Leliana and Cullen. Jowen and Morrigan are both in bird form and up in the air shortly. Neither of them fly near the Templars, they   
are both apostates and neither want to call attention to themselves. 

Landing next to Cullen again shortly she shakes her head no. "Though I cannot get to the Templars, if anyone can make her quiet it would be them it’s a full two contingents of them." She says as Cullen strides to where Alistair is sitting with the blacksmith waiting for the bracers to be done. 

"Where is Neria and why are you not with her?" Cullen does not even greet him. 

"With the Templars." Alistair says it simply and when Cullen turns to go Alistair calls out. "Wait, I'm having bracers made out of her bracelets so she won't be so jingly also got her some leg guards. He's almost done with them shouldn't be more than a couple more hours." 

"So you left her with the Templars?" Leliana says incredulously. 

"Who else would I leave her with while I take half her bindings and make them into something else? We can't have her unbound. She went willingly Cullen." Alistair is trying to figure out what the problem is. 

"You should have sent for me, you should not have left her with them. We will be lucky if they don't take her into custody and keep her." Cullen is furious. 

"They can't, she's a Warden." 

"Really cause that saved her last time didn't it?" Cullen bites out and Alistair's face drains of all color. 

Bracers done Cullen and Alistair approach the Templars camp and are met by a pair of Templars one of which is Belin. "How can we help you?" 

"We're here for the Warden." Alistair plainly watches the man. 

"She is resting comfortably." Belin takes them to a tent and Neria is on a board on a table. Her face is covered in a mask there is blood on the chains and Cullen takes a deep breath. It's Neria's blood. 

"Neria?" Alistair calls and Neria thrashes against the chains. 

"Be still mage!" Belin hits the mask and Neria grows still. 

"Free her, we have the bracers and no longer require your services." Alistair commands and Belin shakes his head. 

"She attacked me, she needs to be punished." 

"Really because I can't see a single thing wrong with you and I can smell her blood all over those chains." Cullen calmly crossing his arms. 

"She attacked me magically." 

Alistair laughs, it's unexpected and he tries to control it. "If she attacked you magically you would be dead Belin, you are pissing me off let her go." Alistair tries the king route and that works. Locks are undone and Neria falls off the board unconscious. "I'll take this as Andraste's mercy while we get her bound." Alistair straps the bracers on and taking her hands out of the gloves and swearing luridly. 

"Really? You had to break her fingers? Get me healing mage." Cullen demands and one is brought. 

"Just a second, let us get her rebound and you can heal her up." Alistair finishes getting the rest of the chains off of her and putting the bracers on. 

"I can't heal her with that much metal on, I'm not that strong." The mage stammers and Cullen shakes his head and swings Neria up into his arms. 

"Let's go Alistair, your version of hospitality for mages is going to get Templars killed if I stay here any longer." 

Back at the companion camp Wynne clucks at the damage to Neria's hands and the bruise covering most of her face. "What did they do to her? Take the one bracer off and I can heal her enough to get her on the way to consciousness. She can finish her healing when she wakes up." Wynne heals Neria and she moves but doesn't wake. Morrigan casts sleep on her as Wynne sets her fingers and then casts a deeper heal. "There that should do it back on the board?" Wynne asks and Alistair nods. Sten helps Cullen move the board from the wagon to the tent. 

Strapped back down Sten marvels at the bracers. "These are beautiful, who did the work?" 

"Blacksmith traveling with us from Redcliffe he’s very talented." Alistair smiles at the bracers. They are solid on the top but each of the bracelets forms a band on the back so each of the   
bracelets retains their beauty. Some of the bracelets have leaves, others are plain and others vines. Her original bracelet's gem slides into the top on the left one and is held with a tiny clasp making it part of the whole. "He was the smith that made the original bracelet with Gregor." Alistair admits and Cullen looks at him. "Cleanse spell on it is Gregor's. It's why you recognized it but didn't know why." 

"Irving and Gregor found her all those years ago." Wynne offers and smiles as both of the men look at her. "Oh she was Gregor's special girl; he named her after all broke his heart when she betrayed the circle for Jowen." 

"He never showed her any favor." Jowen says flatly. 

"No he did not, he wouldn't she is after all a mage." Cullen says of his boss. They all disperse to their tents after that and Cullen crawls in with Neria and keeps hold of her hand. 

"Let me go! I am a Warden and you cannot hold me!" Neria wakes up fighting trying to get loose. 

"Easy Neria, you are safe." Alistair ducks into the tent to get her loose. 

"Safe? You left me with them, they hurt me. I am not safe." 

"They had specific instructions not to hurt you, they were also told you were a Warden and we would be back for you. Now before I let you lose you have to promise not to kill them." Alistair knows her anger. 

"They should pay for what they did to me, what they will do to other mages." Neria is fighting still. 

"It wishes for the Templars to pay?" Shale asks from outside the tent. 

"Yes but I will not kill them. They did no lasting harm and I did fight them." Neria admits her failings. 

"I shall crush their puny heads if it wishes." Shale offers and Neria laughs. 

"No, thank you though Shale.” 

"Elf, there is a Templar here to see you, he is older and says you know him." Sten is irritated which is why he is reverting back to elf instead of her name. 

"Sten what is wrong?" Neria asks alarmed. 

"He wants to take Morrigan." Neria is really fighting the chains and Alistair is trying to get her loose quickly. 

"Shale! Do not hurt the Templar but do not allow him to take Morrigan." Neria yells cursing as Alistair takes too long to get her loose. 

Finally loose Neria is out of the tent and flames are everywhere as she stomps over to the Templar who has a hold of Morrigan. He was not able to get the chains off her hands fast enough and she drags them behind her. Neria is wondering why Morrigan hasn't shape shifted and left when she sees the manacles on her hands. "Let her go Gregor. Let her go and take your men out of here now." 

"Neria, this Golem thing is interfering in Chantry business." Gregor is irritated. 

"Gregor, let her go, you are interfering in Warden business. This is my final warning." Neria is still blazing. 

"This woman is a malificar; she will be brought to Chantry justice." Gregor counters. 

"She is a Grey Warden and you will remember we are outside of your jurisdiction." Neria's still in flames though not as powerful as she would like with the added weight of the chains. 

"Still having control issues I see." Gregor nods at her chains and hangs onto Morrigan. 

"Gregor do not make me hurt you, please don't push me." Neria lets go of her magic and walks up to Gregor in silent treaty. 

"Fine your companions are your own but you will do well to remember who is and isn't a malificar and any mage falls under Chantry jurisdiction." He releases Morrigan and walks away. Neria smiles and turns to Morrigan healing the witch as she rubs her wrists where the metal burned her. Neria is still smiling when she holds her wrists out to Alistair and then jingles them impatiently. Alistair shakes his head and gets the chains off of her. 

"Why are you smiling Neria? He nearly took me away though I do thank you for the rescue. Why do you look like the cat that got the cream?" Morrigan asks. 

"Cause he was happy to see me, he was worried about me and came to check on me." Morrigan shakes her head at Neria. 

Cullen comes back about that time and Alistair rounds on the older man. "You are not allowed to go off and pray anymore. Every time you do something happens and I really need to be with Eamon right now." 

Cullen shakes his head and then does a head count. "Looks fine to me." 

"Only cause Neria can charm almost anyone." Leliana starts to pack up. 

"What happened?" he asks Neria as she is breaking down their tent and loading it into the wagon. 

"Gregor came to see me and tried to take Morrigan into custody." 

"Oh. I take it that didn't go the way it was planned?" Cullen helps her. 

"No, I talked him down from it and thankfully it was him." Neria is handing tent parts to him. 

"Why would he come here?" Cullen asks loading the tent. 

"No idea, figured you might want to go find that out." Nodding Cullen finishes with the packing and then goes to see the Knight Commander. 

"Enter." Gregor says and is surprised to see Cullen. "How can I help you Cullen?" 

"Why did you come to see Neria?" Cullen decides bluntness might work. 

"I read a report about a blonde elf mage having a baby in Honnleath and wondered if it was her. How she claimed to be a warden and they did not believe her. A later report told me about   
the events after her transport and that disturbed me." Cullen debates how much to tell Gregor. How much to reveal to the man who named Neria, raised Neria.

"It was indeed her who had a daughter at that Chantry." Cullen gambles on honesty. 

"It was her that did the damage to the village too wasn't it, wait no don't answer that." Gregor cuts Cullen off before he can say anything. "Do you know who the father is?" Gregor asks   
instead. 

"The elf that was with her at the tower he was killed when they captured her despite promising safe conduct." Cullen remembers Zevran at the Tower. 

"My poor Neria, my poor girl what is she going to do if she survives the blight? Return to the tower?" Gregor asks seeking answers from Cullen. 

"No, she has made Alistair and I promise to return her to Aeonar. She feels it’s the only safe place for her." Cullen waves his hands helplessly. 

"I did not want this for her, had I known would I have done things differently though? Do not mind me Cullen ramblings of an old man." Gregor waves a hand of dismissal. 

"Pardon me but does Irving know about the child?" Cullen asks curious. 

"No, I have not shared the knowledge with him. To be honest I am trying to figure out a way to get her back, though I am not sure being away from here wouldn't be better considering   
how poorly I did with her mother. Her mother, I never thought I would say those words about Neria." Gregor shakes his head in surprise. 

"We were trying to get the child to the Dalish that was where she was headed when she was attacked. The child is a creation mage, of that we know and the Dalish wanted her." Cullen says   
sadly. 

"That is where Neria's family was trying to take her we think when she killed them. If I can get the child back I will. You will tell no one of this do you understand Cullen. Not Neria certainly not Alistair though his clout on the throne might be handy in getting the child. Let me make inquiries and I will let you know. You are still returning to the Tower after this correct?" 

"Yes Commander, I have every intention of returning and becoming Knight-Commander." 

"Then do a good job and try to keep her sane." 

"That is a battle she does daily sir, sometimes she wins." Cullen admits leaving the tent.


	25. Welcome Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "That Circle has failed her time and time again. It even failed her when it came to me." Jowen

Finally in Denerim the city is in a state of half celebration half mourning as more and more cities are falling to the dark-spawn and the civil war that has erupted with Loghain's rule. Most see him as an usurper despite his claim to fame as the hero of the war that put Alistair and Cailan's father on the throne some thirty years ago. Cheers greet Eamon as he moves through the streets to his estate. Neria and Alistair are greeted with mixed cheers with their Warden emblems blazing. Morrigan and Jowen are in bird form and all ready at the estate while Leliana works the crowd getting a feel for the city. Leliana almost goes to say something to Zevran and catches herself. This sort of crowd always made the assassin a mix of excitement and nerves as he would keep Neria close but stay far enough away to see any threat to her. As they travel Leliana is aware of a group following them and watches them more closely. "Crows" Zevran's ghost seems to say and Leliana heads straight for Neria and throws her down as a bolt hits a building right where her head just was. She hears Alistair groan and the thunder of hooves as Eamon's guards press to get to the estate. 

Cullen is beside Neria and takes his sword out shortly joined by Sten and Shale. "Where are the attackers?" Sten asks and then slashes another arrow out of the air. 

"High we need to get into cover." Leliana says and starts backing into an alley. She is not that familiar with Denerim, having only been here once with Marjorie for a bit of fun. They back into an alleyway and Sten curses as they realize they are in a box alley and therefore trapped. 

An elf walks out of the shadows and looks Leliana up and down offering a wolfish grin. "Where is Zevran? We heard he didn't do the job, but he is still not here. He did not return to our master." 

"Who are you and why would you want Zevran?" Neria asks peeking out from behind Cullen trying to look defenseless. 

"I am Tamlin, a fellow Crow. I was sent to kill you after he obviously failed." 

"Zevran is dead, as will you be if you do not let us pass." Neria says, she doesn't offer that she knows who Tamlin is. Tamlin was a former lover of Zevran's and also the man who convinced him to kill the lover Rinna. Rinna who was also an elf, Rinna whose death had caused Zevran to take the contract to kill the wardens in hopes he would perish too. 

"If you want me dead Tamlin, you are going to have to do better than this." Neria steps forward bravely and Cullen curses trying to get her to get back behind him and failing. 

"Ah yes, the elven mage we brought something for you pretty." Out of the shadows steps the largest man Neria has ever seen. 

"What in the Maker is that?" Neria asks as Sten starts cursing. 

"That is a Qun mage, how this crow came to hold its leash is a mystery for another day. Just know this one will make you see things that are not there if I am reading his markings correctly." 

"Can you command it since you are Qunari?" Cullen asks. 

"No, I am Sten not Avaaraad I cannot command it." 

"Is it squishy?" Shale asks. 

"Yes." Sten says as more men come flooding into the alley from Tamlin's direction. Neria is casting a lightning when her mind feels like it is on fire. 

Alistair's shoulder is on fire as is his leg and he looks down to see an arrow sticking out. He is also unable to speak or move much which worries him. "Poison." Wynne says nodding as she casts another heal on him as they push through the streets to the estate. Getting into the estate the doors are shut and men come to get Alistair off his horse. 

"Hang in there Alistair, we'll get these out and Wynne can heal you." Eamon is terrified and so is Wynne. 

"Where are Neria and the others?" Morrigan asks landing in the square and casting heal on Alistair as well. 

"Still out there, it was a coordinated attack on us." Wynne says and Alistair grunts as he is put on a litter. 

"It's only a couple of arrows why is he so out of it?" Morrigan asks looking at Alistair worriedly. 

"Poison." Eamon says following the litter into the estate.

"Ah then you will need my skills. Jowen, find Neria and help her if you can. Also find Sten and send him to me. I am going to need brute strength to get these out of him." Morrigan calls up to the other crow and Jowen leaves to find Neria. 

Jowen finds Neria and group and Neria is on the ground while something huge stands over her and the rest of the group is dealing with twice as many men. Leliana is firing arrows rapidly at the windows trying to take out the snipers that have landed some arrows into Sten and Cullen both. Jowen sees the archers and lands on the roof and loses his magic on them in turn using one as a thrall to take out the other two and then has that man throw himself out of the window effectively killing him. Landing next to Neria he reaches for the huge thing's mind just as Sten screams at him no. 

Neria is in pain. It feels like her entire body is on fire and then being doused in ice and then fire and then shocks are sent through her. Soon though she becomes numb to it and her mind seeks release from this torment. "How are you able to block me?" The voice is guttural almost as if the vocal cords have been cut. 

"You offer me pain I have felt my entire life, you will have to do better to impress me." Neria lifts her head to see what or who stands over her. It looks a little like Sten, just bigger, wider and it wears a mask that hides its face. There are chains on its horns and there are chains on its arms that connect to a breastplate that can fit three of Neria. "You are Qunari correct?" She asks and stands up to face this man. 

"Yes, mage. I too am a mage." 

"Just as bound as me it seems too." Neria indicates the chains. 

"I see that in your memories, so much pain, and so much loss." 

"I can free you if you like." Neria offers. 

"Freedom for me is death mage." 

"If that is your wish I will do that as well. What is your name?" Neria is trying to stay conscious. 

"They call me Mage, so that is my name." 

"I get called that a lot too but they also call me Neria. I choose Neria." Neria has to step back to look at this man and she sees runes glow and move on his arms and torso. He is very powerful, and lonely. 

"Who is the other mage?" The man asks and shows her Jowen writhing on the ground his blood seeping out. 

"Jowen! That is my friend Jowen please let him go." Fear enters Neria's voice. 

"He came to help you, tried to make me a thrall. I am more powerful than he is, he will be mine." 

"Please no, I will free you if you will let us go." Neria begs. 

“Promise." Mage looks at her sadly. 

"I promise I will have Sten free you if you like." 

"No, you will free me. Promise." 

"I promise I will free you." Neria wakes up on the ground and takes her blade out. Mage kneels before her and she slices off his head with her blade. She doesn't expect the backwash of magic though and screams as her blade pins her to the building. She has enough magic and consciousness to kill the rest of the assailants including Tamlin before she passes out. 

"She impaled herself on her own blade?" Wynne asks following Cullen as he carries Neria in and places her on a cot in the infirmary where Alistair is also. Sten limps behind the pair along with Leliana who has taken a nasty cut to her arm and an arrow to her leg. "Get her bracers off; I need to heal her into consciousness so she can heal herself." Wynne keeps pressure on the wound in Neria's shoulder, she has almost taken off her own arm and is barely breathing. Cullen is coated in her blood and frantic. Wynne calls on her spirit and brings Neria back from the brink of death. Neria casts a group heal encompassing everyone and then passes back out. "That will work for the moment. Okay get all the arrows out of everyone and let’s see if I can get you all in decent shape until she wakes back up again." Wynne pulls Cullen to help her with Sten and ends up getting Shale to help her as well. Sten is a poor patient who curses and will not be still so Morrigan casts sleep on him. 

When Alistair wakes it’s to low whispers and worried tones. "She hasn’t woken up yet, should we unbind her more?" Wynne is talking to Cullen and Morrigan. 

"What's going on?" Is what he wants to ask but it comes out in a groan. Wynne hurries over and casts heal on him. He casts cleanse on Morrigan as she tries to cast sleep on him. "Water." 

Cullen hands him a glass and they wait for him to drink. "What's wrong?" This time his tongue works. 

"Neria's not waking up and when we wake Sten he keeps talking about Mages and Qun but none of it makes sense." Cullen admits. 

"Okay, what happened to Neria?" Alistair needs more information. 

"She stabbed herself with her own sword. Nearly cut her arm off in the process. I am healing her but it's slow going with all of you injured." Wynne shakes her head she is exhausted. 

"Okay why is she not waking up?" Alistair asks. 

"That is a question we would like answered as well. Notice anything?" Cullen asks Alistair trying to confirm his own suspicions. 

"I feel nothing from her at all like she has no magic at all." Alistair is trying to get off the bed and Wynne clucks at him as Cullen pushes him back on the bed. "Shale, what is wrong with   
Neria?" Alistair asks the Golem who is always close to Neria, respects her and Wynne only. 

"Her magic is tired; it is working to heal her. Killing that mage her magic took a blow much like the one that impaled her. She needs rest." Shale says simply its crystals glowing in response to its words. 

"Who attacked you?" Alistair asks Shale but it's Leliana who answers. 

"Crows, elf named Tamlin, if I remember correctly he was important to Zevran at one point or vice versa." 

"I wonder if there is a way to end that contract?" Cullen asks. 

"Do work for them and you can usually make it where they won't come after you too much." Leliana says, then continues with," I will see what I can find out and walks out. Alistair looks   
over at Neria and the very tiny elf who is ghostly white. 

"Wake Sten up, if he knows anything about that mage she killed than we need that information." Alistair manages to sit up with Wynne's help. Cullen casts cleanse on the big man to wake him up and Sten is roaring and in full fighting form. 

"Knock it off you big oaf!" Morrigan whacks Sten with her staff and Sten shakes his head to clear it. "Speak; Common please not all of us have a command of Qun." Morrigan threatens to hit him again. 

Sten settles a bit though glares at Morrigan judging if she is going to hit him with the stick again or not. "She killed the mage, she is cursed. She needs to be cleansed." Sten looks at Cullen and then at Alistair. 

"As in Templar cleansed or something different do you even have Templars in Par Vollen?" Cullen says. 

"Yes and no." 

"Okay I deserve that for the double question I guess let's try this again. How do we cleanse Neria?" Cullen asks crossing his arms. 

"She must be bathed in sacred oils, Candles lite for all of the people she has killed and then snuffed out ending with the mage, only then will she be free." 

"That is going to be a lot of candles" Wynne says. 

"We don’t know the names of the people she killed. I don’t even know how many she killed." Cullen admits. 

"Their names are not important, only the number." Sten informs looks at Neria sighing. 

"I can find that out." Jowen volunteers and everyone jumps a bit. No one pays much attention to him unless it’s needed. 

"Blood magic, you actually think we would allow you near her with blood magic?" Alistair winces as he tries to stand up and gets knocked on the head with Morrigan's staff. 

"Stop it, you will rip your stitches out." Morrigan says exasperated. 

"You are a horrible nurse." Alistair grouches and Sten grunts in agreement and then covers his head from Morrigan's staff. 

"I say let him try, Jowen has proven his worth many times over since joining us." Morrigan says surprising all. 

"If it tries anything I shall squish it like a melon." Shale puts one fist to the other in a solid hit. 

"Neria will not forgive you for this." Cullen warns. 

"If it saves her life I will deal with her ire." Jowen cuts his hand open and lays it on Neria's head. "Numbers, no names, she doesn't know their names either though faces she knows faces.   
Oh gods Neria, why? She counts Zevran among her dead." Jowen is crying as he rewinds her life. "Innocent or does it matter?" Jowen asks trying to stay conscious with her guilt. 

"She's killed innocents?" Wynne asks incredulously. 

"She considered them to be but killed them anyways so yes." Jowen says. 

"I cannot listen to this, I cannot." Wynne is at a loss of words and walks away. 

"107, total. She has killed 107 people. I did not count the dark-spawn Maker's Mercy she has been wronged by so many. How is she still sane? How does she function with that much metal on?" Jowen has wrapped his hand and is pacing back and forth wracked with chills and sadness. 

"You need to get me the oil and a bath and the candles. Wake me when that is done. I need to meditate for this." Sten lays back to meditate. Jowen goes to find Wynne, trying to reason with the mage. 

"I know what she has faced Jowen, I have known her since her first day in the tower. I just never thought she would stray so far from the Circle's path for her." Wynne tries to forgive Neria, trying to come to reason with the fact she killed innocents and didn't care. 

"That Circle has failed her time and time again. It even failed her when it came to me." Jowen entreats

"To kill innocents though." 

"Those were an accident, loss of magic control; she killed her own parents and all those traveling with them. Those weigh heavy on her soul." Jowen defends her will always defend her. 

"Hers is a heavy burden; I thank you for sharing it." Wynne is exhausted both in mind and soul. 

Cullen and Alistair bring the tub and oils and candles and wake Sten up. He spends the next hour directing the Templars where everything is supposed to be. "Wynne I need to be able to walk and carry Neria." Wynne digs deep and heals Sten almost completely. "Ah much better, I thank you." He gathers Neria into his arms and heads to the tub closing the door on the Templars. Sten is reverent as he lights all the candles saying a prayer of the Qun for cleansing. He is bare chested with bandages covering most of it. Once the candles are lite he gathers Neria up and strips her out of her shift reverently. She is tiny enough for him to lift her one handed and he is careful not to crush her. His chant continues as he lays her into the oil and soaks her. He is well aware of her pyromaniac tendencies and the lite candles all over the room. His body count is above this small mages but he is far older and it humbles him hers is so high when she is so very young realizes just how much the chains and the year has taken on her. He prays again hoping she does not blow them both up and starts to extinguish the candles praying for peace and safe travels as those move on. 

Cullen and Alistair are anxious, they all are. "He locked himself in a room lite with candles, doused her in oil and hopes she wakes up? Does he have a death wish?" Leliana is back and catching up on what has happened here while she went to find Crows to step on. 

"Yes, now what did you find out?" Morrigan is scared out of her mind. She needs a distraction and Leliana is a good one usually. 

"There is a Master Ignacio that is offering some contracts. I've already collected on three of them since we already dealt with them. Last one is a noble here in the city wants his child back. Was thinking Morrigan, Shale, and Sten though I guess he's occupied Jowen might get that done." 

"I will not leave until it is up and moving just fine." Shale says shaking her head. 

"Would be faster with two birds anyways, you two game?" Leliana is itchy to get out of here and Jowen and Morrigan nod and leave. Sten offers a silent prayer on top of the chant he says as he extinguishes the last candle and dunks Neria under the oil. 

Neria comes awake spitting out a thick liquid and grabs for her magic icing everything in sight when she realizes she is in a building. She looks up to see Sten breathing icy air out. "Good, no flames. This is oil." Sten says before he collapses backwards. 

"Sten!" Neria is up and out of the tub sliding everywhere in the oil. "Templars!" Neria is screaming because Sten is not breathing and her magic is chaotic and not responding to her. Cullen and Alistair arrive with Shale close behind to take in Neria's naked self and Sten laid out not breathing. "Get him out of here, I need to warm him up but covered in oil I'd rather not set all of this on fire." Shale lifts Sten groaning at the weight and Cullen gets her sliding in the process. Sten is laid out and Neria ices herself so the oil freezes Wynne puts a tub under her and Neria makes the oil side off of her. Wynne pulls that out and puts it in the other room and Neria does the same for the oil on Sten and then warms him up quickly and casts heals and rejuvenate on him and her. 

"Ugh, I thought I was dead." Sten says looks at Neria and smiles. 

"Well we need to get you off this bed because it's now covered in oil and put you in a different one." Wynne smiles and he gets up as Wynne and Neria get new sheets for the bed. "Neria, I had no idea your scars were so extensive." Wynne is staring and Neria spins and then looks down turning a very scarlet and covering herself. 

Leliana and group return late that night, long after everyone else is asleep but Cullen who has this watch. "Glad to see they weren't worried." Morrigan grouses before jumping when Cullen speaks. 

"They were but we all need sleep, we have things to get accomplished tomorrow." 

"Neria is awake?" Morrigan asks refusing to ask after Sten. 

"Yes and Sten is fine, both are upstairs in their rooms. Go get some sleep. Sten is two doors down on the left, Leliana your room is at the end of the hall on the right Jowen a Moment   
please." Morrigan and Leliana leave but Jowen stays knowing why he was asked. 

"You and her." It's all Jowen says before Cullen is on him, lifting the mage by his neck and shoving him against the wall. 

"Never speak of that, do you understand?" He shakes his head and Cullen releases him to try and get air in his lungs. 

"I wouldn't. She loves you." Jowen rubs his neck. 

"Do not jest with me blood mage, it will not win me over." Cullen says angrily. 

"Since Redcliffe, she loves you. You bring her peace." Jowen defends his accusations. 

"Do not speak of her and I Jowen. Do not speak of anything you found in her head to anyone ever. I will find out if you do." Jowen nods and races up the stairs. "Jowen, you are in the first room on the left. Try not to bother Morrigan and Sten." Cullen sits in front of the fire and watches it. 

Neria looks to the left to see Cullen asleep next to her and smiles. He looks so young when he is asleep. He senses her awake though and looks at her. "Back to magic full speed I see, ready to get up?" 

"Yes but you can sleep longer if you need to." 

"No, I need to fill you in on what happened and why you woke up in oil with Sten." 

"That was definitely an interesting way to wake up to Sten." When he tells her about Jowen she looks at him. "Is that all Jowen told you?" 

"He said something else but I don't want to talk about it." Cullen turns as he says this and Neria obliges to do the buckle there and checks the rest of his buckles. 

"Then we will not speak of it." Neria turns away from him grabbing her staff and adjusting the bracers to not chafe. Turning back he is there and she is against his chest and they are   
kissing. She is up on her toes and wrapping her arms around his neck. It’s the only way she can reach his neck and he keeps her there then breaks the kiss and kisses her forehead and steps back. Neria smooth her robes and finishes braiding her hair and grabs her staff again.

"I take it you all have recovered from your ordeal?" Eamon is looking at them all but is truly asking Alistair. 

"Yes, we are. How goes it?" Alistair says gesturing they walk. 

"Well the nobles are accepting of the idea of you but most would prefer you not be a Grey Warden and have an heir. All of which we can deal with later. For now we have a visitor in the   
form of a maid from Anora." Eamon says. 

"Cailan's Queen? What would she want?" Neria asks and Eamon glances at her briefly. Most of the other companions are eating breakfast or still sleeping. It is Cullen, Neria and Alistair who are with Eamon. Neria takes a moment to examine Eamon quietly. His health is not the best but he still grieves for Isolde. Conner traveled with him but the child is probably asleep. Eamon's bout with poison has aged him. His gray beard is neatly trimmed though age spots have shown up on his hands and arms. 

"That is what we are here to find out Neria though before we do that you need to know the following. Anora grew up with Cailan, was betrothed to her the day he turned 10 and she was 8. For all Cailan was the king it was Anora who ran the country, she was raised by the finest tutors and with a war hero as a father and father in law she was equally schooled in strategy. Careful what you say and how you say it." He motions one of the guards to show the maid in. She is an elf and Neria eyes her carefully, for all that she is an elf she is also Anora's which makes her suspect. 

"My lady is in trouble. She is being held by Earl Howe at his estate and needs to be rescued." The maid says without much preamble. Her accent, clothing and mannerisms are very Orlesian at least Neria would compare her to Leliana who she knows is Orlesian. 

"Why not just go to her father, why are you coming to us?" Eamon asks leaning back in his chair at his desk. Alistair is leaning with a hip on the desk out of his armor in a blue doublet and brown pants. He is every inch the king and Neria smiles. 

"My lady is afraid her father will kill her to get her out of the way so he can take the throne himself. Besides it was his lordship who placed her into Howe's custody" 

"Who is this Howe person?" Neria asks quietly. Alistair takes a moment to study the mage. She is up and pacing. She has chosen black for her robes that mark her as a mage. Since Zevran all of her clothes are black. Her hair is confined to a severe bun that shows off her ears, the robes are open at the neck showing her torque as well as the necklace Leliana gave her that was Zevran's. Her bracers are on and her bracelet is turned on. Her legs, hidden under these robes have the leg guards against her skin. She is tan from gallivanting all over the place but her eyes hide bags under them. Alistair knows his eyes sport them as well since they have both been hearing the chatter and clamor of the Arch Demon. It's her hands that draw his attention though. If she is moving they are clenched, if she is standing still though she is twisting her fingers both belay her anxiousness, both tell him her magic is giving her hell again. 

"Howe is the Arl of Highever since he took it from the Couslands at the beginning of this blight. Cailan promised Cousland's son he would fix it but then he died at Ostregar. Rumor has it he has also taken Denirum's Arldom as well. He has certainly turned this blight to his advantage. I've never personally liked the man but he is best buddies with Loghain." Eamon finishes crossing his arms. 

"So you want us to go into Howe's estate and free Anora and do what with her?" Alistair asks. 

"Hide her here until after the Lands meet, she would seek shelter with Your Majesty." The maid says keeping her eyes down. 

"Your Majesty, Arl, Tyern Loghain is here to see you and he is not happy." A servant says. 

"Hold the maid here; let's see what he wants shall we?" Eamon heads down to the reception hall to tend to Loghain. Alistair and Neria follow, Cullen joins them as does Leliana Cullen runs a hand down Neria's arm tapping her wrist to get her to stop twisting her fingers and she puts her hands through Alistair and Cullen's offered arms. 

"I need to head out for a couple of days after this meet and greet. Gregor has requested my presence with the Templars until the Lands meet." Cullen admits quietly. 

"We need to speak before you leave." Alistair says and Cullen nods. Neither miss Neria's tightening on both of their arms at the mention of Cullen leaving. 

"It will be all right." Cullen soothes and Neria breathes deeply and smiles tightly. 

Loghain has brought his commander, a tall warrior woman by the name of Roarke with him. Loghain also introduces Howe himself. Eamon introduces the party and Neria feels Loghain's eyes on Neria until he announces Alistair. "Marric's bastard, here I hoped you died at Ostregar with the rest of your order. Makes sense now why you would call a lands meet. You intend to put him forth as the king don't you?" Eamon crosses his arms and nods. Loghain wears the plate of armor he always wears. His house crest the dragon is on the chest. Long black hair falls to his shoulders and his eyes are black obsidian. Neria concedes he wears the armor well and moves easily in it. This is the man Alistair will need to challenge for the throne, she wonders if Alistair can actually take the man. Alistair is used to fighting the randomness of dark-spawn; he's never faced real men across a battle field. Neria also notes the huge blade the rides behind the man's shoulder. She makes a mental note to have Alistair train with Sten in the next few days before the Lands meet. They have seven days before the Lands meet and Neria will make the most of them. 

"We have a ruler, a queen and I lead her armies." Loghain says. 

It is Alistair who answers, "If your capability of leading armies was Ostregar than we really need a new commander." 

"Would you have rather I throw my men at a lost cause? I saw even with my men we would not win that battle and instead retreated to secure our capital." 

"Is that what you call stylizing yourself King Loghain and trying to get a treaty with the dwarves?” Neria chimes in smiling at Loghain. 

"You do not have the rank to speak to the Tyern elf; do not think to school your betters." Roarke says. 

"I am Warden Commander Neria of the Ferelden Grey Wardens and you will not speak to your betters Knight." Neria enunciates every syllable of the insult while smiling sweetly at Roarke. 

"We need to be united to fight the blight not fighting a civil war; we need to settle this throne issue quickly." Eamon says. 

"Then we will let the Lands meet decide if they wish to be ruled by an untried pup or keep the leadership they have with their queen." Loghain decides and walks out. 

"Well that was bracing." Eamon says looking at the group. 

"We still have the maid to deal with and an internal issue to deal with as well." Neria looks thoughtful. "Tell the maid we'll rescue Anora; see if she can find us some disguises." Neria says to Eamon. 

"Are you sure?" Alistair asks and Neria nods. Eamon leaves and Alistair pulls Cullen and Neria into the small library. 

"Why do you need to do Templar things? I thought you were to become a Grey Warden?" Alistair asks closing the door behind them. Neria sits on the foot stool of the chair while Alistair leans up against a wall and Cullen sits in the chair behind her. 

"Gregor wants me to become Knight Commander after he leaves. Grand Cleric has already signed off on it pending my survival of the blight. I am on loan to keep Neria in control for the blight." 

"What am I chopped liver?" Alistair grouches halfheartedly. 

"No, else they would have assigned another Templar to her. I had to do some smooth talking with the Cleric as it was to convince her we only needed us two. Neria's actions are well known even before she became a Grey Warden." 

"Do they suspect me of Honnleath?" Neria asks quietly twisting her fingers. Alistair walks to where she is and sits on the floor grabbing one of her hands to get her to stop. 

"Yes, though there is no evidence to support it. Letter that went with your daughter said elven child born of blonde elf mage level 5. Nothing of your primal abilities though they did include the child is a creation mage. It's also well documented you are a level 7 and there are only 7 of you. Only you and Justina are elves and she is a creation mage. She is also in Tevinter. Gregor has a small hope your daughter will end up with her." 

"You spoke to Gregor about her?" Neria narrows her eyes at Cullen. 

"He brought her up the day Morrigan dealt with him. He is putting in quiet inquiries about her. I have not spoken to Irving about her. I have no idea if Irving knows about her." 

"Gregor told you not to tell me didn't he? He didn't want me to hope. But enough, why are going to the Templars for the next couple of days?" Neria is up and pacing, her magic snapping. 

"Neria, come to me." Neria shakes her head at Alistair's request and he sighs loudly. 

"Gregor has Chantry things to discuss with me, specifically how to work with whomever ends up on the throne and also I will have to stand with the Cleric at the Meet. I cannot stand with you." 

"But you're not supporting me, you’re supporting Neria." Alistair looks at the fellow Templar. 

"I am going to be Knight Commander, I cannot support ANY mage least of all one who has strayed so far from the Chantry path." Cullen looks at Neria with worry. 

"How many?" Neria asks quietly stopping to look out the window over the courtyard. 

"A full contingent you will be fully bound during the night and during transports." Cullen says quietly. 

"When?" Neria is rubbing her arms and Alistair gets up and marches over to her reaching out to grab her. 

"I said come here to me." 

"Never" But she is not fast enough and Alistair has her arm and she is fighting him trying to get away Neria is reaching for magic and Alistair is reaching for smite. 

"Stop Alistair let her go." Cullen is reaching for cleanse and Neria is drumming on Alistair's chest with her fists trying to get free. His skin is touching hers and she is bound enough it will take a minute for her to get enough magic to do something. 

"I promise to behave, please let me go." Neria is frightened and scared and Alistair is angry. 

"Alistair, let her go now." Morrigan is there and casting sleep on Neria. 

"Why is she so afraid of me? Why does she hate me so much?" Alistair asks frustrated. Neria is unconscious on the floor and Morrigan sits and pillows the fellow mage's head on her lap. 

"During the fade the demon used you to torture her. I swore to her I would not speak of it but it's become worse. She cannot function with only you Alistair." Morrigan is looking up at the men. 

"Is that why she hates it when I bind her?" Alistair asks at the same time Cullen asks, "What exactly happened in the fade?" 

"I felt Neria's pain and followed it to the fade. Finally found Neria and she was being held by Alistair and repeatedly raped and tortured by him. If those are memories she is stronger than I ever realized. To be able to function with Templars, to manage to allow a man to touch her she is capable of forgiveness far greater than mine. She's uses Cullen as a buffer and it's working but any trust she might have had with you is gone." Morrigan glares at both of them. "Why is a full contingent necessary if you have convinced the Grand Cleric only you and Alistair are needed?" Morrigan asks revealing she has been there for the entire conversation. 

"Where were you for most of this conversation?" Cullen asks warily. 

"Around the corner bookshelf reading you really should learn to clear a room before discussing things." Morrigan smiles up at them. 

"Because they know Alistair is not a Templar, they also know there are more than just Neria mage wise with this contingent." Cullen says. 

"He doesn't say that if we survive the battle those Templars will turn on us and punish us as apostate." Morrigan's daring Cullen to tell the truth. 

"Yes. They will likely do that." 

"Then I leave tonight, I will not risk being caught by Templars. I know I cannot survive in the tower." Morrigan strokes Neria's head as the mage wakes up a bit. 

"You would leave me? Please don't leave me; we need your help Morrigan." Neria is sitting up and rubbing her arms again. Alistair reaches for Neria and she instinctively cowers and Alistair curses. 

"Enough Neria, I would never hurt you. I have never hurt you. I might want to throttle you on occasion but I'd never actually hurt you." 

"I know that, truly I do but you are always so angry with me. When you touch me it’s always with your abilities first and then your skin. You don't trust me not to hurt you and I don't trust you not to hurt me. I have hurt you; I have blown you up a couple of times, frozen you, and shot lightning through you. But from the moment we met you have always cleansed or smited me first and then touched me. There is no gentleness with you for me. You are always the Templar coming to punish me and I am always the mage trying to hide from you or please you. It’s why I hate it when you bind me." Neria says pleading with Alistair. 

"Any gentleness I might have tried for you was burned with those people. For all your fears, for all your wanting others to be nice to you they end up dead or damaged and I refuse to be one of them." Alistair says angrily. 

"This only works if she trusts you Alistair; she is way too powerful not to require cooperation. She is bound because she allows it; she will kill you if you try to force her." Cullen tries to reason with them both. 

"She will submit, she is a mage and it is the law." Alistair falls back on his training. 

"I am NOT part of the circle Alistair; I am a Grey Warden and your superior. If you think for one moment I will allow you to bind me, to trust you not to hurt me while I am bound and asleep you can damn well jump off a cliff." Neria snaps angrily. 

"Good news, you don't have to submit to me, you get to submit to 8 fully trained Templars. I can't wait to see you deal with them, wait what are you doing?" Alistair watches as Neria hikes up her skirt and starts unbuckling the leg guards. "Neria stop or I will smite you." Alistair reaches over his shoulder forgetting his armor is upstairs, along with his shield and sword. 

"I am proving to you I am bound voluntarily, I am proving you do not nor will you ever control me Alistair." A leg guard off Neria is working on the torque, her fingers nervous. Alistair grabs her to stop her and she is fighting to get away. Morrigan and Cullen are at a loss exactly how to handle this. 

"If she gets that torque off this library is going to go up in flames or be covered in snow." Cullen debates getting in the middle of this fight. 

"I can bubble us in safety but that is about it, we might suggest this gets moved outside?" Morrigan stands close to Alistair. 

"Let go of me you damn Templar you will not control me!" Neria turns on her flames and Alistair falls back batting at the flames that catch his clothes on fire. 

"MAGE stop this! You will be bound, you will submit to me!" 

"Never!" Neria douses the flames, heals him and flees out the door and out into the courtyard. 

"Morrigan if you please?" Cullen grabs Alistair preventing him from following her. 

"Have a seat, she's fine. Notice she healed you even though she was pissed." Cullen shoves the younger man into a chair. Both are out of breath from the tussle and Alistair is furious. 

"Why are you trying to get her to submit? Why do you want her to submit to you? What part of this only works if she agrees to it did you miss?" Cullen is frustrated with both of them. 

"She is a mage, ever since she joined the Wardens all she has done is blow me up, kill people." Alistair scrubs at his hair in frustration. 

"And deny your advances? When I joined the group I had serious issues trusting mages but you are worse. What happened to you? You don't like Morrigan either, would love to kill Jowen and you tolerate Wynne but don't trust her either." 

"She happened. She came into my life and it has been shit ever since her power, her disregard for anyone else other than herself." Alastair throws his hands in the air frustrated. 

"She would have allowed you to kill her on that cliff. If you had all of this then why wouldn't you kill her?" Cullen asks intrigued. 

"Because I know we need her, I know if we don't have her we won't be able to kill the arch demon. But I hate that we have to have her, I hate that I have to accept her that I have to forgive all the wrong she has done." Alistair admits in defeat. 

"Then you will get her killed. Those 8 Templars the Cleric is sending are part of her contingent. Those are her men and they do not care about the blight, only that a very powerful mage must be controlled. I was hoping you would be able to be her buffer but you clearly cannot." Cullen sighs in frustration. 

"Is there someone else?" Alistair asks hopefully. 

"No." Cullen answers with finality. 

"I will deal with her; we cannot allow those 8 Templars near our mages. We won't have any of them to fight the arch demon with." Alistair's eyes are glinting now. 

"Good." Cullen answers as Neria approaches.


	26. Chains of Necessity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Any gentleness I might have tried for you was burned with those people. For all your fears, for all your wanting others to be nice to you they end up dead or damaged and I refuse to be one of them." Alistair

Neria is at the door with Morrigan behind her. She walks to where Alistair sits and drops her bracers and leg guards in his lap. Torque and arm bands follow and she kneels on the floor head bowed in full subservient position. Alistair can see the full extent of her scaring the constant contact with Mage Metal has done to her. Her bracers are perfectly traced in blistered skin on her arms and her arm bands do the same. Legs are the same and Cullen knows this costs her to show Alistair the full extent of what the mage metal does. It is damage she heals every day to suffer over and over again. "I will fully submit to you Alistair as a mage submits to a Templar for the duration of the Lands meet." Everyone is holding their breath. 

"No." 

"What why?" Morrigan asks. 

"We will hand Neria over to the Grand Cleric until after the Lands Meet. That will keep the Templars away from the rest of the mages, I won't have to worry about her blowing anyone or anything up and Cullen can go do his Templar thing." Alistair is firm in the decision. 

"How are you going to make me do this?" Neria is pissed and scared, not a good combo in Cullen's eyes. 

"You will submit Neria; you know this is the best solution. You know this will keep everyone safe until we need you. I cannot trust you in the city; we do not have enough to bind you to   
keep everyone safe. Also, I don't have time to play Templar right now not when I am trying to be king. I have alliances I need to put together and I don't want you blowing anything up in a fit of temper." Alistair reasons. 

Neria sits up; tears are running down her face as she nods in understanding. "I will submit as his Highness sees fit. Please allow me to gather my things. Cullen can turn me over when he returns to the Grand Cleric unless you wish to secure me yourself?" Neria asks sadly. 

"Cullen can do this; have it done before nightfall please." Alistair says gruffly. 

"Yes your highness," Echoes from Cullen and Neria and Alistair is numb as he binds Neria. He offers her no comfort, does not even look her in the eye as he puts the torque, her last binding on and makes sure her bracelet is on. Cullen pulls Neria up and she walks out with Morrigan and Cullen. 

Before she walks out the door, "We still need to help Anora." 

"We will do that without you Neria." Alistair answers. 

"We still need to help Leliana" Cullen says as Neria takes a deep breath and wipes her tears away. Neria nods and finds Leliana with Sten and Shale. 

"We have friends of Leliana to visit, we will be back." Neria says and Leliana moves to them and waves off Sten and Shale. Morrigan goes with them more for curiosity than anything else. 

Marjorie's house is in the market district and Leliana smiles at this. "What is so funny?" 

"Usually she would be in High Town but she wants to stay here. It is interesting." Walking in they are attacked by two Qunari mercenaries that they quickly dispatch. Once into the shabby house Leliana indicates for the group to wait while she unhooks traps. Done they walk in to be greeted by a tall woman, same height and build as Leliana though dark of hair and dressed far too fine for this house. 

"Ah Leliana, finally you have come home. Oh and you bring guests." Leliana is searching trying to find the rest of the traps and mercenaries she knows are hidden. 

"Why Marjorie, why would you come all the way here to attack me? We were done." Leliana wonders crossing her arms and appearing relaxed. 

"I followed you, thought it was interesting when you hid among the sisters. What does she do? Who does she speak to I wondered. However you did nothing and I thought I had wasted my time. Then you left in such a hurry and have been so busy." 

"Leliana is busy with the dark-spawn and the blight, not your business." Neria smiles at Marjorie. 

"Oh, so the songbird has convinced others to sing her tune. You were ever such the saboteur. I am impressed." 

"I will never come back to you Marjorie; you will never control me again." Leliana is trying to convince herself and it's not enough. 

"This woman will haunt you the rest of your days Leliana, this needs to end now." Morrigan chimes in and Leliana nods. A blade is in her hand and sailing towards Marjorie before any of them register it. Mages, two of them pour from the other room along with three other Qunari and Neria is casting spells and keeping them all healed. It is a short bloody battle but Marjorie and the rest are dead at their feet. 

"She is dead, she is really dead. I think I need to be alone now, I thank you Neria, Morrigan, Cullen this will not be forgotten." Leliana dashes out the door and Neria loots the bodies with the others. 

"Are you ready?" Cullen asks and Neria nods. Morrigan hugs Neria and flies off. Cullen pulls her to him and kisses her. They are surrounded by dead bodies and Neria only cares that she is being kissed and hoping she can survive the next few days. "I will not be able to see or talk to you until after the Lands Meet. We do not need to raise suspicion with anyone." 

"Understood, stay safe, help Alistair where you can." Neria is kissing him again and moans as he forces her against the wall kissing her neck and then tracing back up again. 

"Do not let her play head games with you. Answer her but no details." He stops kissing her to drag her into one of the bedrooms closing the door and he is on top of her on the bed. She is pulling his straps loose and he is undoing her clothing. 

"Here, now?" Neria asks surprised by his fervor. 

"Yes, I am not sending you to that hell without your last memory being of you and me." His armor is loud clanging as it falls off but he is in her and they are happy. 

Hours later Cullen kisses the top of Neria's head as they both know they need to leave. Neria is up and dressed quickly. Cullen gets into his armor with Neria's help and helps repair the damage to her hair and smiles as she fixes his. Both of them sober as they get closer to Fort Drakkon which is where the Grand Cleric has decided Neria will be held. Neria shuffles after Cullen, her ankles bound in shackles with a chain connecting them to the ones on her wrist which also connects to the collar on her throat and the chain on her waist. Gloves also keep her hands contained; she cannot cast at all right now. When they walk in they are greeted by the city guards. "Ah the mage Templars are waiting for her please follow us." Cullen nods and keeps a hand on Neria's arm. Fort Drakkon works both as a prison and as the home of the City Guards of Denerim. Guards are above ground prisoners are below. As they descend Neria hears the cries of the ones being tortured and the depravity of the ones who would do her harm as they look at her. Four floors down she is led through door after door until they get to a block of cells that are empty. At least Neria hopes they are it’s a block of six with thick stone walls and solid doors with a food slot and bars on a tiny window.

Neria nearly loses all of her courage when the door opens to reveal a board standing up with chains fitted to the ceiling as well as a low table with the rest of the chains on it. There is a small bed in the corner with a chamber pot in the very back and a table and chair. Cullen hands the keys to Neria's chains to the Templar who greets him. It is the full contingent of 8 standing there and all of them wear their helmets except for one. His accent is thick and it is clear he is not impressed with Neria who looks so tiny next to these men. "Neria? I am Ser Vale the commander of this contingent. If you have need of anything please ask for me. You are not to speak to the other Templars except to ask for me. You will wear a mask and gloves at all times except for eating. You will be bound only at night to the board. Off the board you will wear the shackles you wear now. Do you understand this?" 

"Yes Ser." 

"Commander Cullen, you will return for her after the Lands Meet is concluded to take her back into your custody. Am I correct?" 

"Yes, thank you Commander. Please make sure your Templars keep their hands to themselves. Last time I entrusted her into the care of other Templars she was beaten with several   
broken bones when I got her back." 

"Any damage she does will be to herself. She will be in the same shape she is in now when you come to get her." Each salute the other and Neria stays still as the mask is put on, she is bound to the board and the gloves are put back on. 

Alistair gathers Morrigan, Sten and Leliana to go to the Howe Estate to rescue Anora. "Where is Neria?" Jowen asks crossing his arms. 

Alistair debates lying or telling the truth cursing when he knows Morrigan will tell them if he doesn't. "I have chosen to have Neria stay with the Grand Cleric until after the Lands Meet. Cullen was requested by the Templars and without him here to control her it was the best option." 

"Did she go willingly?" Sten asks looking at Morrigan. 

"She did." Morrigan says without elaborating. 

"How could you?" Leliana glares at Alistair. 

"It was the best choice I had at the time Leliana, she is too powerful for me to control and honestly I do not have time to contain her hoping she doesn't blow up half the city." 

"That is the answer you tell yourself but it is not the truth." Leliana says shaking her head. 

"Do not try to rescue her Leliana, she does not need one. She is safe, secure and out of harm’s way for the moment." Alistair reaches out to grab the bard to emphasize his point but she side steps out of his reach. 

"Zevran would." 

"Stop, do not bring a dead man to a fight he has no words and his actions do not count." Sten growls to Leliana and the bard subsides in a huff. 

Arriving at the estate they meet the maid on the side of the main house and dress in the disguises given. Guard uniforms for them all though Morrigan shakes her head at the armor and turns into a crow and lands on Sten's shoulder. "Pet crow really? Well it might work." Alistair follows the maid. 

"You should have free access to the entire estate as guards just don't get too close otherwise they might realize you aren't part of the patrol.” Maid says and Alistair is wearing a helmet, his resemblance to Cailan is too pronounced to risk here. None of the guards lift their heads at the guards as they walk through the estate. This estate has seen better days, walls are cracked and the tapestries they would use to hide that are destroyed or damaged. 

"This was the Arl of Denirum's estate before the blight but Howe moved in and it looks like has made himself at home." Alistair admits as they head to the guest wing and arrive in front of a door that is magically barricaded. Alistair looks at Morrigan who shakes her crow head. 

"I would greet you properly but it seems my captor has decided to make sure I cannot leave." Anora says from the other side of the door. 

"Any idea where the key might be?" Alistair asks not daring to touch the door. He knows his skills might nullify the door but it might also trigger it. 

"Mage is likely with Howe. Who are you?" 

"No time for introductions your Highness; we will get you out of there shortly." Alistair motions the group away. 

"I will find out where Howe is." Leliana volunteers and slips off without even glancing at Alistair. She is back shortly a little disheveled but smiling. 

"He's alive." She assures winking at Sten's lifted eyebrow. "Howe is in the dungeon, shortest route would be through his chambers." 

"He has a route to the dungeons through his bedchamber?" Leliana nods at Alistair’s question. "Arl of Denerim was a very disturbing man then, he was always nice to me as a child too."   
Alistair follows Leliana's lead to the chambers. 

Decay does not touch these rooms. Sitting room is well appointed in velvet and furs while the bed is a huge affair on a raised platform. Alistair arches an eyebrow at the chains bolted into the wall. All of it is swathed in crimson sheets and Leliana wrinkles her nose. "Those would hide the blood well, interesting bed toys as well." She traces a finger over the chains and sniffs. 

"Fresh blood, Howe enjoys his torture too it seems. I wonder if he enjoys inflicting or receiving." 

"Why not both?" Sten bares his teeth at Morrigan who has given up the bird form. Morrigan motions over to the wall and Leliana pushes the brick to trigger the door opening. When they get to the bottom of the stairs there is a bank of cells and a guard there. 

"Stop. Who goes." Whatever he was going to say is cut off as two hands reach through the bars and snaps his neck. Quickly pulling the body close keys fit into the lock and the guard is stripped and shuffling indicates the occupant is putting on the clothes. Alistair has his sword drawn, Sten does as well. Suddenly though Alistair puts his blade away and signals Sten to as well. 

"Warden." He says as answer to the unanswered question. 

"Yes, Alistair isn't it?" Alistair removes his helmet to look closer at the dark haired man. He is the same coloring as Duncan though slighter of build. 

"Yes, you were at my joining. I am sorry I do not remember your name." 

"Riodan, Ferelden born though stationed in Orlais currently." 

"Then the Orlesian Wardens came?" 

"Yes though they have long marched back to Orlais by now. We were turned away at the border, only I was able to stay since I was born here. When I found out about Ostregar I went to Loghain to offer my services been here ever since." Alistair can tell the man has been imprisoned for months, his dark coloring sallow and his frame very thin. 

"We are staying at Arl Eamon's estate, you will be welcomed there." 

"There are others here; I will meet you at the estate. Is this the other warden?" He indicates Morrigan and she laughs and shakes her head. 

"No, Neria is with the Templars right now." 

"I will hear more of this later then?" Riodan scowls. 

"Yes." Alistair answers not ready to give more info. 

Going through the door they meet some resistance but not much. Once through there though Alistair is nearly red with rage at the prisoners he finds. Soris, an elf that killed the Arl of Denirum's son is barely alive as Morrigan casts on him until he can speak. "Are you well enough to get out of here?" Leliana asks and Soris nods. Next is Arl of Griffon Rest’s son who has been tortured and beaten until he will never walk straight again. 

"Next time bring Wynne or Neria with you if you want healer." Morrigan grouches as she sucks on another lyrium potion. 

"Wynne is still not fully recovered from healing all of us and to be honest I don't think she likes Alistair or Neria much right now." Leliana says opening the next door. 

"Must get mage to tower, can't keep Knight Commander waiting." It is a Templar, or what is left of one. He is dark of hair and has brown eyes which widen in fear when he sees Alistair. 

"Peace, you are okay. We will get you out of here." Alistair hands over a small lyrium potion. "Lyrium withdrawal, one of the things I was happy to never have to deal with." Alistair says as the man's eyes clear and he seems to grow twice as large. 

"Ser Bryant at your service who do I have to thank for my rescue?" 

"Alistair." 

"Marric's son, I shall tell my sister. She rules Tiger Niche; you will need her vote at the Lands Meet." 

"I will be thankful. Any chance you can help Dustin out? He is Griffon's Rests son and can barely walk." Alistair asks and the Templar nods. 

"Wait here for me; I will take you and Anora out at the same time." Leliana looks at Morrigan who is still casting on Dustin. Morrigan nods her agreement and continues to work on Dustin. 

Through the next door is a blonde elf and Alistair does a double take thinking it is Zevran. Leliana approaches carefully and gasps when the elf looks at her. His resemblance to Neria is shocking and scary. "Maker's breath it’s a male version of her, he has to be related." Leliana unlocks the door. 

"Who do I look like?" The elf asks staying away from Leliana his lavender and gray eyes flashing.

"Our friend Neria." 

"Friend? You call her friend then I want no part of you." 

"What is your name? How do you know her?" Leliana asks. 

"My name is Venris and I am her brother." 

"How were you not with them when they took her?" Alistair is blocking the elf from running. 

"Our parents didn't want to join the Dalish, merely wanted to take Neria to them, they left me with friends. When we heard about the explosion and what she did. I would kill her on sight if   
I could. Where is she?" 

"Safe." Is all Alistair will offer this man. 

"How old are you?" Morrigan asks looking at the elf speculatively 

"27, man grown now. Now if you don't mind, I appreciate the rescue but I have no intention of hanging out with my murdering sisters friends." He darts past Alistair and is gone. 

"Do we tell her?" Leliana asks the group as they head to the last room. 

"No." Sten says and Morrigan agrees. 

"She will want to know." Leliana argues. 

"He wants to kill her; she does not need more pain." Morrigan ends the conversation. Opening the door Alistair catches the first quarrels of the archers on his shield and then roars charging in. Leliana takes out the archers as Sten sweeps the two guards coming at him. Morrigan is already after the mage who throws a fireball at the group. Alistair notices the chains on the mage as he blocks the fire with his shield and smites the mage. 

"Was that even worth smiting over? It wasn't even that impressive." Leliana grouches fighting blade to blade with a guard. 

"Not really but I am hoping with him down the barrier will go away and Anora will save herself." Alistair bashes his opponent. 

"You don't like her?" Leliana asks finishing hers and slicing the throat of Alistair's attacker.

"No, she was a snobby bitch who was petty and mean. Time doesn’t seem to have made much difference. Cailan wasn't faithful to her either which didn't help." Alistair is looking for Howe and spots him attacking Sten. 

"Ever?" Leliana asks truly curious. 

"He slept with Cousland's daughter on his wedding night. He wanted to marry Elissa; even I wanted to marry Elissa. Complete opposite of Anora, I can only hope she made it out of the castle when Howe attacked it. Sten don’t kill him, I need some questions answered." 

"He is unconscious." Sten nods to the crumpled body on the floor.


	27. Oh You thought you were Safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Yes, you forget I have been hunted by the Chantry, I have watched Templars drag children in chains behind their horses. I am a mage, I accept Neria for her power, her weakness and her struggle with trying to stay sane and control her power."-Morrigan

"Are you awake enough to speak to me child?" Neria wakes up enough to realize the voice is speaking to her. 

"Yes, grand cleric I am what can I do for you?" 

"Dwayne, get her off the board and the mask off. I would like to see the beauty that has snared two Knight Commanders." Neria frowns at that. 

"We are not supposed to do that without the Commander here." 

"Then get Vale. Also food I want those requests filled immediately. Dwayne nods and leaves returning shortly with Vale who protests that much metal coming off while in her presence. "I will not repeat myself." Neria is unbound and sitting at the table shortly. She takes a moment to heal herself. 

"You are beautiful certainly a worthy prize for them." 

"I apologize Grand Cleric, whom do you speak of?" Neria is trying to stay calm as this woman assesses her.

"Why Gregor and Cullen of course who do you think I mean?" 

Neria shakes her head and chuckles a bit. "Gregor was a father to me. Cullen was assigned to me as a child and now as a favor to that father. I didn't snare them nor do I intend to."  
Grand Cleric takes a moment to eat a bite of food. She reminds Neria of Wynne, both are studies in steel and ice though where warmth radiates from Wynne, none does from this woman. 

"You are one of a handful of Grey Wardens and the only mage, yet your king chose to bind you and bring you here instead of having you at his side. Why is that?" 

"We agreed it would be safer for me to be here." Neria looks at the Cleric and eats a few bites. 

"Safer for whom?" 

"Everyone." Neria says drinking water. 

"Was that you in Honnleath? Was that your child I passed on my way here?" 

"No, I've never had a child." Neria doesn’t look at the woman, she can’t. 

"Do not lie to me mage. I know ways to make you speak." 

"Do not threaten me. Those who have do not like the results." Neria is up and her fist flashes with flames. Templars are coming over and Neria breathes trying to relax before they can hurt her. 

"Break her, you have 6 days." 

Neria hears the command but doesn't believe it. "Vale gave his word I would not be harmed." 

"Physically however mentally you will bend or break. You will tell me the truth about you, Honnleath, Cullen and Alistair. I will have my answers mage and you will be the one to tell me." Neria shivers and wonders if they will use blood magic or not. 

"If you do this I will be most descriptive in my report to the king. You know the one that supports the Clerics with land and supplies to do daily trade." 

"Your king is not on the throne yet Neria. Until he is I care not one whit what he or any of the others think. I represent the highest order of faith in the known world." 

"I am one of a handful of people able to end this blight before it consumes your faithful." 

"Then I suggest you tell me what I want to know for your sake as well as theirs." Grand Cleric is not backing down; Neria sees that spine of steel and grimaces. 

"Do you by chance share any connection to Enchanter Wynne?" Neria asks arms folded and cocking her head to the side. 

"No, why?" 

"Lovely woman, you and she are so much alike I thought maybe there was a connection. I would not be that fortunate to meet two women so hell bent on making me gives up information that is none of their business." Grand Cleric laughs at this, hers is a rich throaty laugh that makes you want to join in but Neria declines the offer. 

"I can easily take your companions into custody and question them. They seem to be a motley crew of thieves and killers no better than the riff raff on the street." 

"Really? Shall I recruit from these streets to kill the dark-spawn then? My companions are all valuable to me but you are welcome to try and get them from Earl Eamon's estate, I am sure that will go over well." Grand Cleric frowns at this thought. 

"Cleric, we are ready to break her if you like." Dwayne asks and Neria stays passively by the Cleric's side. 

"No, she and I are having productive talks for the moment. If I need you to try I shall ask." Dwayne salutes and leaves. Neria breathes carefully for a moment. Grand Cleric turns her gray eyes on Neria, "Tell me about your life child." It’s the cadence of her voice, the way it is said that has Neria telling the woman her life. She glosses over most of it though and the Cleric knows it. "My curiosity is sated for the moment, leave her off the board for the day and then we shall continue our discussions tomorrow." She is up and out the door without any other disruptions. 

"Grand Cleric?" 

"Yes child?" 

"Do you have anything for me to read?" 

"I do. I shall have it sent to you immediately."

Howe wakes up suddenly and starts squirming as his eyes fall on the huge Qunari and then to Alistair and the rest. He looks for the blonde mage but frowns when he does not see her. 

"Let me go! You cannot hold me bastard wanna be king!" 

"I like this one Alistair; may I keep him when you are done with him?" Morrigan asks laughing lightly and licking her lips. 

"You may." Alistair says simply and kneels down to where Howe is. 

"You will address your king with the proper title." 

"You are just a wanna be Cailan, not even a good copy of him. Just as pretentious and over reaching it seems as well." 

Alistair rolls his eyes and does not take the bait. "All yours Leliana, find out what he knows and if possible about the Couslands." 

Howe's eyes fall to the dark haired witch that had spoken before so he is surprised when steel touches his neck and an Orlesian accent is whispering in his ear. "Oh, I am going to have fun with your Howe. Shall we be more comfortable in your bedchamber?" 

It is said seductively and with the blade held to his throat his body reacts instinctively. "I promise to give you much pleasure before your death my pet." Howe is posturing, trying to get the advantage back. 

"I promise to give you much pain before your death dog." Leliana bites the words out nicking his neck so blood trickles. "Don't ever ask me to do that again Alistair." Leliana says wiping her hands on the towel and throwing it on the table in front of Alistair. "That is a skill set more suited to Zevran not I. I left that life in Orliea. I had no intention of doing that work here." 

"Fair enough did he give you want I wanted?" 

"Yes, Elissa is alive and in the dungeon of the Cousland Keep. She tried to retake it after her escape from it and Ostregar went so badly. His son Thomas is there." 

"Then she may not be alive." Alistair stretches his legs out and then stands. "We need to get the prisoners out of here along with Anora." 

"I agree." Leliana says and gets the rest of the prisoners and they head back up to get Anora. Using the key they found on Howe they open the door to find Anora. 

"Alistair?" Anora is a pretty blonde with blue eyes that are hard as sapphires. She turns her nose up at Alistair but does not fail to thank him in the most condescending way possible.

Morrigan hates her instantly. "Shall we go?" Anora asks and turns to head to the servant entrance. 

As they cross the main hall Alistair swears. There in his path is Howe's first in command Garlan with what looks like the entire household of soldiers. Alistair warns Leliana who takes Anora and when the woman would protest Morrigan casts a sleep and Sten swings her up. "Get her and the others out of here, I will stay with Alistair." Morrigan says tracing a hand down Sten's arm. 

"Exactly what is your plan Morrigan?" Alistair asks. 

"Warden leverage of course. If Riodan thought I was Neria than this man might too. We need to get them to take us alive." 

"Stop where you are intruder. How dare you enter these premises?" Garlan says. 

"Oh so the Arl of Denerim isn’t home, okay well Neria I guess we need to leave." Alistair walks forward with Morrigan at his side smiling at the guard. 

"Who are you?" 

"Alistair and Neria, gray wardens I knew the Arl growing up and thought to visit with him since we were in the city." 

"You are under arrest for the murder of Arl Howe bastard king." 

"I am your liege lord and rightful heir to the throne, you will treat me as such." Morrigan has to really try to not start laughing at the whiny note in Alistair's tone. 

"We will be taking you to Fort Drakkon; you will pay for your actions." 

"As you wish." Alistair is not going to fight these men, there are too many and he has come too far to die now. They slap manacles on Alistair and Morrigan and both of them sigh when they realize it's not mage metal. 

Taken by cart to the fort Garlan unloads Morrigan and Alistair. "She's here." Alistair says quietly to Morrigan. 

"Really? Here I thought they would hold her at the Chantry." 

"She is in pain, horrible amounts of pain." Alistair is gritting his teeth. 

"That is nothing new Alistair; she accepted your wishes for containment. They would bind her within an inch of her life and you saw the scars those pretty pieces of jewelry cause her." 

"This is different, they are torturing her. I never agreed to that." It is all Alistair can do to stay up and walking. 

"You feel it too." Morrigan nods but lets the pain wash over her, Neria's pain is always shared to anyone sensitive to magic but over the months she is numb to it in the face of the fact Neria is always in pain. They are led down into the bowls of the Fort to the Second floor and put in the cell together and stripped. Once they are left alone Morrigan looks at Alistair who is on the wall hugging his knees. 

"Focus on getting us out right now Alistair; we cannot save her unless we get through the Lands Meet. One step at a time Alistair, you can demean yourself for giving Neria exactly what you wanted to later." 

"You accept her actions? All of them?" 

"Yes, you forget I have been hunted by the Chantry, I have watched Templars drag children in chains behind their horses. I am a mage, I accept Neria for her power, her weakness and her struggle with trying to stay sane and control her power." 

"This has to stop, if she is affecting me like this than she is affecting more. Get to Cullen, get this stopped." Alistair is on his knees retching up his guts and doubled over in pain. Morrigan fights the effects and turns into a crow, getting her gear she leaves and heads to the Chantry.

Neria does not scream out loud, she knows there will be no relief as the Mage rips into her mind again. His name is Harold and for such a mild looking man that most definitely matches his name his telekinetic powers is impressive. This started when the Cleric came back before dinner and asked Neria who the father of her child was and she had denied having a child again. This made the Cleric angry and then Harold came and she's been mentally screaming ever since. She was unbound and yet refused to strike back, she must be contained she must accept this. It was a litany in her head she said over and over as the pain rips over and through her over and over again. Suddenly it stops and she looks up at Harold. "Did you have a child?" He asks looking at her. 

"No. I have never had a child." Neria croaks out her voice quiet. 

"Why do you insist on these lies? I can tell you are lying. Yet you continue to hold the lie, just tell me the truth and we can be done with this." 

"I could kill you very easily and I choose not to. Stop this, leave me alone. Why does no one ever leave me alone?" Neria asks looking up at Harold finally. He gasps when he sees her face, her eyes. His death is written there and he knows it. 

"Bind her; she is not going to cooperate with me." Harold states and knocks on the door to be let out. Dwayne stumbles in along with two others and casts cleanse over and over. Finally purged of the after effects they bind her and put her back on the board. Neria knows this is a temporary reprieve. 

Morrigan flies as well as she can with her body reacting to Neria's magic. Finally landing at the estate she seeks out Leliana "Morrigan? Are you okay?" 

"I will be when we get Neria bound. Go to Cullen, Gregor any of the Templars and get Neria out of there or rebound. They are torturing her. Where is Wynne?" 

"In the infirmary, she passed out an hour or so ago." 

"I shall join her down there. Ugh I've never known Neria to cast so much magic at once!" Leliana leaves quickly and enters the Chantry. She is shown quickly to Cullen and Gregor who are in the Knight Commander's office. 

Cullen sits in a chair when she comes in with Gregor behind the desk. "Cullen, we have a problem. They are torturing Neria." 

"What how do you know this?" Gregor is the one who asks and is up on his feet. 

"Alistair and Morrigan were in Fort Drakkon and Alistair said she was. He's sick to his stomach and unable to walk. What is wrong with him?" 

"Magic sensitivity, she's casting too much magic at once. If they aren't careful she will rip the fade wide open and create a rift." Gregor answers turning to get his sword and shield. 

"I was told she would not be harmed, why would Vale lie to me?" Cullen says standing as well. 

"Commander Vale?" Gregor stops for a moment to look at his prodigy. 

"Yes, Grand Cleric agreed to hold Neria until after the Lands Meet. It was that or accept 8 Templars to watch her at the estate, with the other mages I couldn't risk that." Cullen says clenching his fist and looking at Gregor. 

"Then there is nothing we can do. Not even I have the power to stop the Grand Cleric. I can go and talk to her but that is about it. Neria is in her custody, to do with as she pleases." 

"Neria is a Grey Warden, is the commander of them here in Ferelden, she is not just some mage that needs to be punished or interrogated." Leliana says and Cullen smiles.

"She is indeed, that might be the right leverage. How are we going to get Alistair out?" 

"Do not worry about that Cullen, how are we going to use that leverage for Neria?" Leliana asks crossing her arms. 

"How did Alistair end up in Drakkon?" Gregor asks. Leliana arches an eyebrow at Cullen and he shakes his head no. 

"I do not think it is wise for you to have that information Knight Commander. What if the Grand Cleric decides to interrogate you? What would you be able to offer to stop it?" Leliana shakes her head no at Gregor and the older man sighs. 

"Go Cullen, you cannot go up against the Cleric but you might be able to help with Neria." 

"No, I cannot. Wait Leliana before you start you must remember I am a Templar, Commander in fact and am just as likely to be interrogated as Gregor. You must figure out how to use the Grey Warden as leverage." He emphasizes the Grey Warden part. Leliana leaves frowning. 

Sten is running his hands all over Morrigan checking for any damage and making her horny in the process. He would not lose his witch and he frowns at this. She is not his, will never be his and he needs to remember that. When this is over she will stay here and he will go back to Par Vollen. When Leliana comes in he nods at the bard though frowns when she does not return the greeting. "Where is Riodan?" Leliana asks in greeting. 

"Here Leliana right? I am feeling better thanks to your healer." 

"Wynne will be thankful you have recovered. Now though I must ask a favor." Riodan sits up on the cot and looks at Leliana quietly. 

"How can I be of service to the woman who led me to safety?" Riodan is teasing Leliana and she blushes prettily. 

"I did nothing anyone else wouldn't have done." 

"You left your friends to create a distraction while you managed to get prisoners out of the dungeon and to safety. Now your friends are in Fort Drakkon." Riodan says enjoying teasing the pretty bard. 

"Well only Alistair but yes, I will get him free shortly. I ask you to help get Neria away from the Grand Cleric." 

"Why would Her Holiness have Neria? Neria is the other Warden is she not? I thought she was being held by the Templars until after the Lands Meet."Riodan is gazing intently at Leliana. 

"She is however she is being tortured. Her magic is getting out of control, there is worry she will rip the fade." Leliana says hurriedly. 

"How can I help you?" Riodan asks quietly. 

"I need you to just be a Grey Warden, as a Grey Warden Neria is only answerable to Weissiupt right? She is a mage but the Circle, Templars, and Cleric none of them can harm or hold her correct?" Leliana asks thinking of a plan. 

"Correct, but I am Orlesian and though I am a Lieutenant I don't have a lot of clout." Riodan gets up and starts putting on his armor. It is Medium armor and his array of weapons is intimidating to the rouge that carries minimal. 

"Where are you going?" Leliana asks frowning slightly. 

"To use what clout I do have, exactly what do you want to happen? Do you want her free or just the torture to stop?" Leliana wonders at this. 

"Stop the torture, the agreement was hold her until after the Lands Meet if they don’t hold her than the Templars come here and we don't want them here." Morrigan says walking over to the group. Wynne is standing nearby with Sten and Jowen. 

"Do you have the supplies to make more Wardens?" Jowen asks and Riodan smiles. 

"I do, not much though, maybe one or two but not more than that. Who wants to become a warden?" Riodan looks at Jowen expectantly. 

"I do. None of the others would." 

"You would not be able to remain with Neria here. There is only ever one mage per territory. You would be reassigned to another." Riodan says knowingly. 

"His vows are to the order and Neria personally. It was the only way he kept his life." Sten says glaring at Jowen. 

"He will remain here until the Blight is done, beyond that we will have to figure something out." Riodan says. "For now let me see if I can rein in the face of the most popular religion in the  
world to stop torturing one of the most powerful mages in the world. Wait if she is leaking and casting that much why is she not freeing herself?" Riodan looks at Morrigan. 

"Because she promised to be behave to Alistair and this is what he wanted.” Morrigan answers quietly. Riodan nods and turns to Sten. 

"Care to pretend to be a Warden for the afternoon? You are very intimidating and I need the backup." Sten nods and Leliana smiles. 

"I will get Alistair out while you are figuring out Neria." Leliana says and smiles. 

"I do not agree with any of this. I don’t think it’s going to work." Wynne says shaking her head. 

"You will get her free? I do not like her not here." Shale says and Leliana lays a hand on the Golem. 

"No Shale, we cannot free her only get the torture to stop." 

"Then I disagree with this plan. Unless we free her they will torture her again. There are still five days until the Lands Meet. That is a long time for them to hold her and do things to her." Shale says shaking her head. 

"We can't hold her here." Sten says looking at the Golem. 

"No, but I can stay and make sure they do not torture her anymore. I am impervious to her magic and can squish them like melons." Shale smiles along with the rest of the group.  
As the group gets closer to Drakkon Shale's crystals start to glow and blink. "What is that about?" Riodan asks warily. 

"She is losing control of her magic; my crystals react to her power. When she casts fire they go red, blue ice, green heals, purple lightning. If however she is casting a mix or goes wild they will turn pink. I would suggest you get to cover then." 

"Do they react to all magic?" Riodan asks truly curious. 

"Yes Morrigan's magic is always blacks and browns. Jowen's are the same unless he is casting with blood than its orange." Shale says as the Crystals bounce between red and blue. Suddenly they stop all together. "They've bound her. She is no longer a threat." Shale says and looks at Riodan. He keeps moving, knowing the reprieve is likely temporary. 

"State your business." The guard says looking at the group in front of him. Riodan is in full Warden regalia as is Sten. Shale is behind them both, Leliana has already slipped inside. 

"I am Lieutenant Riodan; I am here to speak with the Grand Cleric immediately." 

"Why would you want to speak to Her Holiness?" A Templar walks up and looks at the group. 

"She is holding Warden Neria; I wish to speak about this arrangement." Riodan is trying to bluff his way through this. 

"Follow me. I am Ser Vale Commander of the Templars who are holding Neria. What can I do for you?" Vale shows them to an office that looks temporary. He sits behind the desk to look at the group. 

"We know she is being tortured in direct violation of the agreement you made with her Templar Commander Cullen." Riodan is furious about that, doesn't have to fake it.

"True, Her Holiness has questions and thought to take the opportunity to get answers when it presented itself." Vale is mildly irritated as well.

"I will be making a report to the Chantry about this, I would also ask for you and Her Holiness to remember Neria is a Grey Warden and therefore not under your rule. You will treat her as a guest, not as a prisoner." 

"She is a mage." Vale always has that card ready.

"She is Warden Commander of the Ferelden Wardens; we cannot stop the blight without her. Also with her power she is likely to rip the Fade and do you really want to be responsible for releasing demons into the middle of Denerim?" Riodan leaned back against the wall. None of them have taken the seats offered. 

"I will see what I can do." Vale says going a little pale at the mention of demons. 

"I was hoping you might say that. Shale here is a Golem and will be staying with Neria for the duration of her stay. Neria's magic doesn't work on the Golem. Shale will also make sure no more torture happens. Either accept the Golem or release Neria to me immediately." Riodan presses his advantage. Vale looks at the Golem as the crystals start glowing red and blue again. Vale doubles over and barely grabs the trash can in time to vomit. 

"Golem can stay." 

"What is going on?" Sten asks. 

"They've started again." Shale says as Vale groans in misery. 

"Leliana? What are you doing here?" Alistair is pale and sweating and shaking. 

"Getting you out of here though I need you to actually get up." 

"Ugh, I can't. Not as long as they are going to torture her. It's her magic be thankful you cannot feel this." Alistair is trying to sit up and fails. Leliana already has the lock picked and the door opened. 

"Well let's at least get you into your armor." Leliana hands him the pants and shirt that go under the armor and Alistair works on putting it on. Suddenly the cold sweats stop and Alistair is moving faster. 

"Move we need to move, they stopped again." Alistair is telling himself as well as Leliana They move quickly through the halls and Leliana takes Alistair to the hall she knows Riodan will be coming out of when he leaves. Riodan rounds the corner then headed towards the exit and Alistair and Leliana join the group and walk out of the Fort without incident. 

"Enough! Stop this please your Holiness, my men and I cannot take it." Vale is pleading with the Grand Cleric and she shakes her head no. 

"She will answer my questions." 

"I will answer your questions.” Shale says from behind Vale. Cleric looks up at the Golem and frowns. 

"Who are you?" 

"Shale, I am here to make sure you do not torture Neria anymore. There is no need. I will answer your questions." Cleric smiles at this and asks the question she has been trying to get an answer to for a while now. 

"Did Neria have a child?" 

"Yes." 

"When?" 

"Feast day, she delivered by the Dalish who took the child." 

"She was not in Honnleath?" 

"Yes she was in Honnleath that was where I was from. She saved the village from dark-spawn though the Chantry and several buildings were damaged." 

"That matches the reports we have Holiness." Vale pipes in. 

"Then what mage had a child on All Souls Day?" Cleric asks trying to solve the puzzle. 

"Reports said the mage was a level 2 or 3, Neria is a level 7. There is no way it's the same mage." Vale states. 

"Fine, stop Harold. I will test the child when I get back to Tevinter." Cleric purses her lips in frustration. "I thank you for the information Shale. You may stay in the room with Neria if you like. Vale, secure Neria and then you are dismissed for the night." Vale salutes and leaves Shale going with the Templar. Shale's lie had fallen from the Golem's lips it was plausible, it would also hold up under scrutiny. Neria had killed most of the villagers of Honnleath and those not dead had no idea why or what had really happened. 

Neria is in her mask and fully bound when Shale comes in. "How is it? Have they hurt you too much?" 

"Shale?" 

"Yes, I am here to make sure they do not torture you anymore. I answered the questions you would not. Your daughter is safe with the Dalish, has been since when we Feasted with them.  
Why would you not tell Her Holiness that?" 

"Now they will hunt the Dalish until they find her, I did not want her with the Templars. They will not let her go, she might be too powerful." Neria is crying and frustrated. 

"I am sorry Neria; we could not let them continue." Neria rattles her chains, she understands. She knows the lie for what it is but now the Dalish will be hunted needlessly. Hunted for something they don't even have. More grief, another few bodies to her count Alistair is right, for all the good she tries to do it will never even out, she will never be able to make those scales tip even. 

"How did you know?" 

"We will discuss that at a later date." Neria understands and nods though the movement is lost in the mask. 

"Good night Shale." 

"Sleep Neria, only 5 more days to go.


	28. Final Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We cannot change the past; only learn to live with our part in it." Leliana

Eamon is thankful Anora is safe in her chambers and Alistair is out of the dungeon. He is not happy with Alistair's wish to go rescue Elissa. "I have to do this before the Lands Meet." Alistair reasons and Eamon is shaking his head no. It's Leliana who puts the puzzle together. 

"You want to marry her; you want to make her your queen." Eamon first looks at the bard and then at Alistair. 

"Would she agree to it? Surely you jest, why not take Anora as your queen?" Eamon tries to find the logic in this plan. 

"I will not play second to my dead brother Eamon. I will not wed and bed the daughter of that traitor. I don't even think she will agree to marry me when I kill her father. I will not be controlled." Alistair is vehement and shakes with the rage of even speaking of Loghain. Running a soothing hand down his back Leliana tries to calm him down. 

"We have no idea what shape she is in. We don't even know if she is alive." Eamon says and Alistair shakes his head. 

"Eamon, this is not a negotiation. I am informing you I am leaving in the morning to get Elissa. I will be back in time for the Lands Meet. I will not announce my intent to marry her until after the Lands Meet is done." 

"You should know her brother is alive." Leliana whispers quietly. 

"How do you know this?" Eamon spins and gazes hard at Leliana 

"Because I met him this afternoon." Teegan says coming into the room and crosses to Leliana quickly. Alistair watches Teegan with Leliana and smiles, so the Bann thinks to cage the songbird. 

"Are you going to take him with you?" Eamon asks and Alistair nods. 

“I want Elissa out of there, I won't be able to take the men necessary to retake the keep but we might be able to get her out. He would know any secret entrances."

Eric Cousland is every inch the Tyrnn he was born to be. His great sword rides high over his shoulder and there are two short swords attached to his belt. His black destrier is a fearsome beast that stands as tall as Sten. Sten's own mount dwarfs the others and has hooves the size of serving platters. Leliana's gray mare, a present from Teegan is dainty and looks ridiculous next to the men's horses. Morrigan and Jowen are flying while Wynne sits on a placid bay gelding that could care less about all the commotion the party is making to get ready to go. It will take only half a day to get to the keep and it is not even dawn. Alistair sits on a flashy chestnut stallion of the same make and model as Eric's. With a wave of Alistair's hand the party is under way and Eamon is forced to wait and hope his boy comes back again in time to claim the throne. He is also the one that has to deal with Anora though Teegan seems to be keeping the young queen company. Last night though, the only one he wanted to keep company was Leliana Eamon knows he will have to deal with that situation before it gets out of hand. 

"You care for Teegan?" Alistair asks Leliana as they ride along. Leliana smiles at the king and shakes her head yes. 

"I do, though I have known of him from my time in Lothering." 

"Is it serious?" Alistair raises an eyebrow as Leliana blushes prettily. 

"He has not made his intentions clear but on my part yes. He makes me very happy." 

"Will you miss this?" Alistair gestures to the horses as they ride along. 

"No, I was happy in Lothering, would be happy away from the court and politics." 

"That might not be possible if you marry Teegan He will be on my council, him and Eamon." 

"Then I will see you often. I would tie my fate to him Alistair. Zevran told me to take happiness where and when it presented itself. I agree with that wholeheartedly." 

"I should have been there when they tried to take her." Alistair says sullenly. 

"Cullen says the same thing, she does not blame any of us for what happened." Leliana tries to soothe him. 

"I rest easy knowing if she did she would have killed us." Alistair presses his lips tight on the rest of the words. 

"Andraste teaches us to forgive, to find peace with our actions and the actions of others." 

"There is no forgiveness or absolution for the slaughter of innocents and many in that village were." Alistair looks at Leliana hard. 

"We cannot change the past; only learn to live with our part in it." Leliana reaches over to soothe Alistair and he jerks away. 

"I choose to not forgive or forget." He rides off and Leliana sighs and shakes her head. 

They reach the castle shortly after dawn and Eric slides from his horse along with the others. "They would have used the family's retreat from the pantry. We can use that to get back into the castle. It will take some maneuvering but we should be able to get into the dungeon and get the others out. How is this going to work?" His hair is chestnut and his eyes are leaf green. There is a scar on his cheek that was not there before Lothering. He has brought what was left of his scouting party with him. All together they number close to thirty people.   
Alistair looks at Eric and smiles, "Leliana and your rouge will get the locks open and get the people out of the dungeon. They will have Wynne and Sten with them. Morrigan, Jowen, I, you and the rest of your men are going to create a distraction and see if we can't take the castle back." Nodding the groups head out each with their own purpose. 

"I do not like you not being with us." Sten admits as they enter the tunnel to Alistair. 

"I will be fine." 

"Do not make me come rescue you." Morrigan orders Alistair and he smiles at the mage. He still doesn’t trust her but times like this he is thankful she is around.   
Leliana's group breaks off from the main and she casts another glance at Alistair not liking the arrangement either. "Trust in his skills Leliana" Wynne pats Leliana's arm. Leliana forces herself to focus on getting down the stairs and past the guards. There are four of them when they get down there and Leliana and Sten quickly take them out with little fuss. Freeing the first few prisoners there are mostly female servants and Leliana shivers at the horrors they have surely experienced. There is also a Knight who introduces himself as Ser Gilmore. He has red hair and blue eyes and Leliana has trouble speaking around him he is that handsome. 

"I will help you." He announces and Leliana is nodding her head at the Knight and handing him one of her daggers. Eric's Rouge is named Mark and his easy smile is infectious as they release more and more of the prisoners. Mark is also deadly with his crossbow and his blades. Middle of the dungeon they run across the warden and Sten beheads the man with his blade. Ser Gilmore recovers his blades and his armor and passes the dagger back to Leliana 

"Where would they have Elissa?" Leliana asks Gilmore and the man grimaces. 

"She is in the final bank of cells. I have not seen her in many days." Leliana does not like the sound of that and they hurry to the cells indicated. 

Morrigan is casting shock, horror and sleep in great quantities and smiles as Jowen uses more than one man as a thrall. Jowen has gained in power with proper training and time and has blossomed as a mage. Of the group he is still the weakest which shows when he loses both of his thralls in rapid succession and goes down under the blow of a mace. The fight for the keep is going decent if slow. Morrigan wishes again for Neria's healing abilities as she gets Jowen back up and then yells in frustration when she sees Alistair is losing against more than one opponent. "One of these days Templar you will listen to me when I tell you to bring healer!" Morrigan clocks one of the assailants on the head and grimaces as Eric yells. 

"To the king, defend the king." Alistair lets out a mighty roar that seems to surprise a few of the attackers and then there is a huge sword working as a scythe to clear a path to him. Morrigan smiles as Sten finishes the attackers near Alistair. 

"Where is Leliana?" Alistair asks between waves as they make progress to the main keep and the Howe inside. 

"Safe, Elissa is with her. She did not fare well at Thomas Howe's hand." Alistair looks at the Qunari questions on his lips but stops them. 

Leliana is sure under all of this grim and dirt Elissa Cousland is the most attractive woman she has ever seen but right now the woman is fighting her tooth and nail out of the dungeon. Uncorking one of the vials on her belt Leliana plugs her nose and waves it under Elissa's and sighs as the woman collapses. Ser Gilmore scoops her up and carries her the rest of the way out of the tunnels. He is tender in his care of her and Leliana worries Alistair might have competition for her hand. Shaking her head she gets them to the rendezvous point and settles in for a wait. Their wait is not long though as the front gates open and Alistair and group stroll out. "Any serious injuries?" Alistair asks heading for Elissa. 

"No and you?" Wynne assesses the group quickly and casts heal on a couple of the group. 

"None worth noting. How fares my sister?" Eric asks headed for the red head on the ground. 

"She will be better with familiar faces. I do not think she was violated, only traumatized." Leliana says. 

"Small miracles then." Eric gathers Elissa into his arms. 

"Is she your twin?" Leliana asks truly curious at their identical features. 

"Yes, she is the eldest by an hour. Something she loved to lord over me when we were younger. Will the damage to her hands be permanent?" Eric notices the braces on the fingers and the way they are not straight. 

"Not if I can finish healing her. Neria would be a welcome addition right now. Unfortunately you only have me. I will do what I can, Morrigan can you handle healing some of the prisoners while I focus on Elissa?" Wynne asks. 

"Yes. Oh she is waking up." Morrigan says. 

Elissa comes up swinging and it is all Eric can do to hang onto his sister. "Safe Eli, safe, calm down." 

"Eric? Oh Eric!" Elissa is crying as she holds her brother and looks up at the party gathered around her. 

"Alistair? That is you!" Elissa is happy to see him. Alistair will take it. 

"Elissa, you need to go back with Alistair. There is going to be a Lands Meet and you need to support him as king. I will be there but I need to secure the castle." 

"Thomas Howe!" 

"Is dead, killed by me personally. He will never bother you or our family again." Elissa nods in understanding at Alistair’s confession. Eric stays with his men as the rest mount up. Gilmore   
is on one of the spare horses while Elissa is secured in front of Alistair. He is not letting his prize out of his sight.

Neria is off the board eating, the next day is the Lands Meet and she is looking forward to getting out of here. Though the torture stopped, she had not been treated kindly either. Vale has been formal and stilted and though Shale is with her the Golem is not great for conversation. She is dying for news of her friends and how everyone is doing. Her magic riles against the bindings, wants desperately to get loose and her dreams are horrible. More and more the Dragon taunts her to kill more and more people. There are women being drug under the earth and flashes of a bloated thing. She sees the despair of the people and the fear of the children as the Dark Spawn destroy and taint everything they touch. She is the same the Arch Demon assures her, Neria doesn’t deny it. 

Once back in Denerim Alistair works on getting support with the Nobles and does a decent job of it. Elissa once cleaned up and healed is still traumatized until Leliana is dragging her out to the practice yard with swords in hand. "You know how to defend yourself yes?" Leliana asks giving the woman a blade. Elissa nods and grabs the blade. Leliana attacks her and Elissa drops the blade and cowers. 

"So you would be the victim?" Alistair pushes off form the wall he was watching from. 

"I am no victim." 

"Prove it, all I see is a scared little girl playing at being the noblewoman. You are not fit to rule this courtyard much less a kingdom." Alistair taunts. Elissa snatches the blade from the ground and goes after Alistair. He already has his shield up but leaves his blade sheathed. 

"I am more than fit to rule, you oaf. You who aren’t even really noble dare to question me!" She is fantastic in her rage and Leliana smiles at Alistair's ability to manipulate the woman. 

"I am half noble, that counts for something else I wouldn’t be going to a Lands Meet in the morning to put my bid in." 

"They will never accept you, unmarried. Untried in battle, didn’t even become a Templar and then becomes a Grey Warden who aren't supposed to hold any offices at all. You will be lucky   
if they don't laugh you out of the Lands Meet with your tail tucked between your legs." Elissa is ruthless in her attack though there is a mischievous gleam to her eye that belies the sting of words. 

"Then I shall claim you as my queen and defeat the blight, they'll have to take me then." Alistair uses his shield to deflect the blade and wraps an arm around Elissa. 

"Me? Why would you claim me? Anora is the queen not I. You are claiming the wrong woman if you want to secure your throne. I'll not be second fiddle to that woman again either. Cailan promised me a throne and then married her." 

"That was beyond his control and you know it. Loghain would not waste his daughter on a bastard and there were no other sons worthy of a Teyrnn's daughter." Alistair continues to hold her. 

"I would have accepted you if it would have been me. My father would have accepted you." 

"Will you still accept me? Will you still accept the bastard trying to get a throne?" Alistair is cradling her close and Elissa has long dropped the blade to keep a hand on his chest keeping a distance between them. 

"Thomas didn't, none of them did but they might as well have. Will you accept a woman traumatized by a man?" Alistair is looking into her very green eyes framed by the longest lashes he has ever seen. She is sharp angles after her time in the dungeon but the beauty is there and he has to kiss her. She accepts the kiss tentatively, trying to relax. Trying to fight the urge to tense up and she does, this is Alistair the golden boy who just wanted a friend. Elissa melts into the kiss but is not expecting the pull on her hair as she is yanked back out of Alistair's arms. 

Anora has no idea what came over her, she was headed to the gardens and saw Elissa and Alistair and attacked the woman who was always on the side of Cailan. After the hair pulling Anora is scratching and screeching and Alistair is shocked and not amused. Neither is Leliana who slides a blade next to Anora's throat. "Touch her again and I will end your life here and now. You had a momentary loss of control but it will not be forgiven again. Am I clear? You may nod or shake your head, your choice." Anora nods her head and Leliana releases her. 

"What was that about?" Alistair asks Anora keeping Elissa behind him. 

"I thought you would marry me to secure the throne, Eamon had told me that was the option you wanted to do. I just got done talking to him about it and I come out here to see you kissing her. Why is it always her? First Cailan and now you I will not abdicate my throne to you Alistair, you will not win against my father and when your body lies at his feet I will have her killed beside you." Anora spins her sky blue gown's skirts swirling as she runs away. 

"You do know Cailan and I never actually slept together right?" Elissa offers the shocked Alistair. 

"But." 

"Oh he was quite drunk on his wedding night and while she did see the kiss she never saw the slap or that Eric escorted him to his own rooms. He was too drunk to go to Anora that night, it was she who spread the rumors about Cailan and I. True I was at court, but Cailan and I were friends never lovers. I may hate that woman, may have wanted Cailan at one point I never would do that to another woman. Cailan and I had many many fights and discussions about his inability to be faithful to Anora." 

"I would never." 

"I know, if you do I will leave and never come back." Elissa goes up on tip toe to kiss him again and Alistair sweeps her back into his arms deepening the kiss and when he breaks it put his forehead on hers. 

"I do have to deal with Anora, she is too powerful to ignore." 

"She is the seated queen Alistair, she is not going to support you now. That bridge was burned. You are going to have to hope your support with the other nobles is enough." Leliana   
offers and both look at Leliana surprised she is still there. 

"What do you suggest then?" Alistair asks keeping an arm around Elissa as he turns to face the bard. 

"There is supposed sickness in the Alienage, I have my doubts though I think we might be able to get in with the help of the elf we freed Soris." 

"They don't have a vote at the council." Elissa says looking at Leliana. 

"Maybe you can change that as well." Leliana answers looking at Alistair   
Alistair thinks on this a moment. "What do you think is happening in the alienage?" 

"I am not sure but I would like to find out." Leliana shrugs. 

"Then let’s find out." 

"May I come? I might be of use." Elissa asks and Alistair looks at her. 

"If she goes, I go. I will not have harm befall her so soon after getting her back." Alistair swings to look at the new voice; Ser Gilmore is standing with his blades sheathed but ready. 

"Leliana take whomever you like, I really need to see to Anora and smooth what I can of her feathers. Don't forget we promised to clean up the back allies as well." 

Leliana crosses her arms. "This is not my forte Alistair. I am not a leader." 

"Alistair, let Anora stew. You, I, Leliana, Gilmore and Wynne can handle the Alienage. Rest can have fun in the back allies." Elissa says smiling. Alistair nods and goes to inform the rest of the companions. 

Sten leads his group into the back allies for the cleanup. Of the rest of the companions he is the only one with experience leading men and he is ruthless in their delivery of punishment of the thugs. However when they get to the warehouse Morrigan stops them. They have cleaned out three nests of the thugs and each contained mostly mercenaries though there have been a couple mages mixed in. No one is used to not having Neria yet and as Morrigan shakes her head no and backs away Sten scowls. "We need Neria for this fight; I cannot take that mage one on one. Templar of some kind would be nice as well. 

"That bad?" Both Jowen and Morrigan nod and refuse to go into the warehouse. Sten sighs and sends Morrigan to find Alistair and let him know.   
Once Soris gets the group into the Alienage Alistair is sickened by the squalor conditions and the despair in the elves he sees. "Here are more Shems to haul us off!" An elf woman yells confronting Alistair and group. 

"Peace Shianni, these are the ones who freed me. Grey Wardens, they are here to help." Shianni cocks her head listening to Soris but does not change her stance. 

"What's going on?" Elissa asks, her crossbow is on her back and her blades are at her sides. She is a rouge and deadly accurate with both words and arrows. 

"These Mages came in saying there was sickness, they take people into that building but none return." 

"Interesting." Leliana says. 

"Is there another entrance other than the front?" Alistair asks eyeing the wall of steel between him and the door. 

"Yes." Soris says and leads them around. There is an elf guarding the door but with a few gold he stands aside as the group get into the room. There are five beds in the room and two have elves in them with chains on. Elissa loses a bolt into the mage that started to cast against them. A couple of guards come and they are quickly taken out. Breathing easy as the front door does not open to pour more steel in Wynne approaches the cots and heals the elves. 

"This is not sickness, this is mistreatment." 

"You have to help them, they have our leader." One of the elves says and Soris gasps.

"Where did they take him?" Leliana asks the elf and she points to the other room.   
L  
eliana approaches the door carefully Alistair is behind her and they open the door to find nothing. There is another door though and this one leads out into a back ally. Following the Ally they take out a few guards and then get to a bigger room that has dozens of elves in cages. Freeing the elves the leader is not there and Wynne stops the group from heading into the next room. "That is a Tevinter Magistrate, we need Morrigan or Jowen at the least to deal with him. Neria would be ideal, he's very powerful." Alistair nods knowing Wynne is correct. Heading back to the courtyard Morrigan appears in front of Alistair out of her crow form. 

"You have impeccable timing Morrigan." Elissa says smiling at the mage. Morrigan lifts an eyebrow at the woman and looks to Alistair for an explanation. 

"Tevinter mage in the next room, need more mage power for it." 

"Ah, Level 5 or 6 minimum blood mage in our escapade would love Neria for it or a Templar." 

"Help us with this one and we will finish the alleys tomorrow after the Lands meet when we have Cullen and Neria back." Morrigan agrees and they head back into the room with her in the lead. She sends the mage to sleep and freezes the other one solid. 

As the main mage wakes up Alistair smites him and the man laughs. "You will have to do better than that Templar." 

Morrigan barely has her shield up in time to take the cone of cold aimed at them. "Ugh, would love Neria right about now." Morrigan quips and tries to cast on the mage again. Her spells bounce off the mage again and Morrigan sighs. "Alistair I cannot stop him, get these elves out of here so he can't sacrifice them." Morrigan yells as Leliana and Elissa are working on the cages. The mage has cast a tempest and none of the companions can even get close much less hurt this mage. Morrigan tries again and is again denied. This mage casts a lightning that sends Morrigan flying against the walls unconscious. Wynne heals Morrigan enough for the witch to wake up and shake her head at Alistair. "Get out, get out now, we cannot take him. He is too powerful, I will try and hold him off but you have got to get out of here." Alistair locks eyes with the witch as she sucks down a lyrium potion and brings the roof down on top of the mage and running out behind the others. She barely escapes as the building collapses and is knocked unconscious by a falling beam.  
Alistair and Gilmore drag Morrigan out of the debris and Wynne is healing with all her might. "She has serious injuries; I cannot help her more right now. I will have to heal her in stages; even then I am not sure how much I can help." 

"Neria?" Leliana asks and Wynne nods. Alistair shakes his head and heads to the Chantry to speak with Cullen. 

"Where are you going?" Leliana asks. 

"I need to get Neria and Cullen get Morrigan back to the estate." Alistair orders and they do. 

Cullen is sitting with Gregor in the dining area of the Chantry when Alistair finds them. "Alistair?" Cullen asks getting up. 

"You need to come with me; I need Neria out of the Fort. Morrigan is gravely injured and there are a couple of mages loose that are far too powerful for the resources I have. One is a   
Tevinter mage; it would seem Loghain has been selling the elves into slavery." 

Gregor frowns and holds a hand up to stop Cullen. "I will take care of the mages; Templars should be dealing with them anyways. As for the Apostate we do have a couple of mages that can heal here but none of the caliber Wynne is. How do you expect to get Neria out?" 

"She needs to represent the Wardens of Ferelden; she is the Commander after all. Her voice does count at the Lands Meet." Alistair shrugs as he says this. 

"I cannot stand with her or you; can she even control her magic enough to stand unbound in that room?" Cullen is wary, knows Neria has been bound for days with no release. 

"She can with three Templars." Gregor says and smiles. 

"Do you have enough Warden armor to put them in? Travis is here Cullen. He's handled her before and she trusts him." Cullen nods as Alistair smiles. 

"They won't have the protection of their armor against her though. They will have to be very careful." Gregor cautions. 

"Let's get her out and we can worry about the rest later, Travis can come with us." Alistair says still grinning. 

Gregor, Travis, Cullen and Alistair approach Fort Drakkon and are ushered into the Grand Cleric's presence. "Your Holiness, we are honored you would receive us." Gregor states, as the most ranking member in this merry band he gets to speak. 

"You are a day early, why have you changed your mind about keeping her here?" Grand Cleric is frowning at the men. 

"She is a Commander of the Grey and therefore must be represented at the meet." Alistair says quickly. 

"How will you contain her? None of you can stand with her in the room and neither can my Templars." 

"We will worry about that, she is a Warden and we will take care of her and any of her actions." Gregor smoothly says. 

"Very well, Vale take them to her." Grand Cleric waves them away. 

"Do you need help containing her?" Vale says as they walk along and Cullen smiles at the man. "Dwayne and Beric can stand with her though they cannot dress as Templars." 

"You would risk her ire?" Gregor asks and Vale smiles. 

"She will not notice if they are not standing in Templar armor, I assume you have a proper disguise for them?" Gregor nods as they arrive at the cell and Vale opens it. Neria is on the board and she wakes with a start rattling the chains and fighting them on instinct. 

"Easy Neria, it's Templars." Shale says from the corner and comes closer to the men who enter. 

"Leave me alone, I have done what you asked. Leave me alone." Neria sounds defeated and sad. 

"Neria, I am going to get you off the board. Cullen is here." Vale says and Neria stills. 

"Do not jest with me Vale." 

"That is Ser Vale to you mage and you know it mask is coming off now." Vale takes the mask off and Neria blinks rapidly to get her eyes adjusted and looks at the four men in front of her. 

"Alistair? What are you doing here? I have behaved; I have done everything they have asked of me." Neria whispers cringing back into the chains and the board. Alistair spins and walks out. Vale looks at the door and then back at Neria. 

Vale finishes getting her off the board but leaves the gloves and shackles on. He hands Gregor her bracers and leg guards. "She still has her torque, arm bands, earrings, and bracelet on. We added a couple of rings." 

"Petite, still causing problems I see." 

"Travis! It is good to see you. Are we headed to the Estate?" Neria is much more relaxed without Alistair in the room and all of them know it. 

"Let’s get these manacles and shackles off and put her bracers and guards on." Cullen says as Vale is already releasing the gloves and manacles. All of them cast cleanse as her magic surges up with the removal of the gloves and manacles. None of them miss the wince as the bracers are put on and the shackles and gloves put back on. Leg guards are next and Alistair walks back into cast cleanse on her as those are taken off and then the shackles put back on. Neria goes pale from the pain of the guards though manages to stay standing. Done they walk out of the fort though Shale picks her up and carries her out when she stumbles on the stairs. She is painfully thin and stiff from her time in the prison and none of them say a word until they get to the estate. "She cannot go to the Meet trussed up like a prisoner." Cullen says to Alistair as they walk into the courtyard.

"She cannot go in just her jewelry, it’s not enough." Alistair answers. 

"Any chance you can unbind me for a bit and let my magic loose?" Neria looks at Alistair with this request and it galls him she sees him this way. 

"We can. You are bound enough a horse might tolerate you." Gregor smiles at Neria. Shortly they are aboard horses Neria held in front of Cullen. It is very hard for her to not sag against him or rub her face against him in greeting. Gregor takes them out of the city about two miles and helps Neria down. Travis, Alistair and Gregor step back as Cullen starts unbinding her. 

"Why are you not unbinding her?" Alistair asks Gregor seriously. 

"She was always too powerful for me. In my younger years I might have given her a run for her money but only Cullen can match her now. He's the most powerful Templar I have ever seen and he's gotten better traveling with you." 

"Hey! I am standing right here Commander!" Travis jokes halfheartedly as Neria's magic starts leaking out. 

"Yes, you are a close second but Neria trusts Cullen and he trusts her. You don't trust her and neither do you Alistair. What did you do to her?" Gregor lances Alistair with a fierce glare.   
Alistair doesn't answer as Neria's magic explodes and Cullen joins them. She contains it in her force field and laughs as her magic swirls and goes into a display of fire/ice/electricity. As it dies down Neria is surprised with a display of flowers and a full grown tree that bursts from the land bearing apples. "That is new." Alistair stalks over to Neria. 

"That is what he does." Cullen watches Neria automatically spinning to face Alistair her hands up defensively. Alistair has already cast cleanse on Neria before he even gets to her. When flames spring up on her arms he smites her and Cullen curses. 

"Stop it Alistair!" Cullen yells rushing to Neria as she hits her knees in submission. Alistair leans down to start binding Neria when Gregor's voice rings out. 

"Touch her Alistair and I will kill you where you stand. Get away from her. You are lucky she hasn't toasted you where you stand but I guarantee if you touch her right now she will defend herself." 

"She will submit." Alistair is furious and has no idea why. It's her display of magic, she has again grown out of control and he again has to clean up her mess. He grabs her arm and notices   
the scarring of the bracers isn't healed. "You did not heal yourself?" Alistair releases the arm roughly casting another cleanse on her. 

"I cannot heal them anymore, they are permanent. It has been too many days with exposure to them without relief, same with my hands. Only time they let my hands go was to eat and only for 10 minutes at a time. They would put the bracers on in the morning under the shackles and gloves." Neria keeps her head bowed. 

"Your face?" Travis asks curious now. 

"Only on at night and that I could heal though much longer and it would have been difficult." Neria is permanently scarred on hands, arms, legs, ears and neck. 

"How is the use of your fingers?" Gregor asks curiously. 

"I can manage a fork and a very light staff; I cannot wield my blade anymore. I've been hiding it for months. We had to bind me, the gloves were a necessity, and all of it is."

"No, it's not. If you would learn control none of this would be necessary. You do this to yourself; you choose to lose control of your magic and to be bound earrings or bracers first?" Alistair asks holding up both. 

"Earrings though I beg for someone else to bind me I do not think I can survive your kindness." Neria still keeps her head bowed her complete posture one of submission. 

"As you wish I will meet you back at the estate. Morrigan is injured and requires your assistance when you are done with your pity party." Alistair drops the bracers and hands the earrings   
to Travis walking off. Cullen kneels and puts the earrings in one at a time and it kills him as she flinches. 

"What did you do to each other?" Travis asks shaking his head and putting the bracers on. Once she is bound again and her magic purged Gregor lifts her back in front of Cullen. Neria never answers Travis' question and neither does Cullen. Back at the estate Travis and Gregor beg off promising to be back in the morning with Vale's men before the meet. Cullen swings down and helps Neria down setting her down when she indicates she wants to walk. She cannot do more than a shuffle walk as she makes it through the estates and to the infirmary.   
Leliana squeals in delight and hugs her warmly. 

Wynne nods not risking touching the metal and Neria's eyes fall on Morrigan very pale and her life force weakly held in place. "Get them off!" Neria shakes her hands at Cullen and he takes the gloves off and the manacles. Neria reaches out with her magic and casts heal on the mage and then rejuvenate. Removing the collar on her neck and the chain that goes with it she grits her teeth in pain as the thing burns her. "Leave my waist chain, get this chain off my legs so I can move but don’t remove the shackles. Remove the chain from my manacles and put them back on." Neria says to Cullen quickly and he and Sten comply. Neria casts another, stronger heal on Morrigan and smiles as she opens her eyes slightly. "You are a haggard looking group that is for sure." Neria says casting group heal and rejuvenate which sends everyone sighing in appreciation. "Where is Alistair?" Neria asks looking for him. 

"With Elissa I am sure." Leliana says and shrugs. 

"Who is Elissa?" Cullen asks. Leliana takes the time to fill Cullen and Neria in and then leads them up to dinner. There is no dancing this time and Eamon looks harried. 

"I can heal you if you like." Neria tells the Arl who shakes his head no. 

"No, I appreciate it. I am looking forward to this Lands Meet being done." 

"I think we all are." Neria admits glancing at Alistair and the pretty woman on his lap. Full Neria catches Cullen's eye and indicates she would like sleep. Cullen nods and takes her up, 

"Do you want me to cast sleep on her?" Jowen asks and Neria shakes her head no. 

"I have gotten used to rocking myself to sleep bound on a board with a mask on. I appreciate the offer though." Jowen hugs her and goes back down the stairs. Once in her chamber Cullen scoops her up and kisses her. She answers the kiss and laughs as he sets her on the bed and pulling off her boots stars kissing her thighs before moving up farther. She removes his shirt and runs hands over his chest and then lays back as he taps her nub and spears her with his tongue. She quickly comes apart in his hands and as she comes he slides in setting a furious pace. Their lovemaking is quick in its fury of possession and Cullen needing her.


	29. Thrust and Parry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I am a bard, privacy is not a concept I understand and you know that.” Leliana

Lying beside him she rests her head on his shoulder and traces circles on his chest. Her hand drifts lower and she smiles, kissing down his chest to his erection she cleans up what is there and sets to making him groan in pleasure. He pulls her up before he can finish in her mouth and she straddles him riding him slowly enjoying the way his hands run all over her massaging and rubbing her breasts and linking his fingers with hers. Both of them are moaning and groaning in pleasure now. Neria throws her head back breasts bouncing as she comes.

Alistair can feel the surge of magic and goes to investigate; he needs to apologize to her anyways. Another surge of magic and a groan is what Alistair hears on the other side of the door and he is barging in convinced Neria has done something to Cullen. He is greeted by Neria, straddling Cullen head thrown back in ecstasy as flames burst all over her only to be doused by Cullen's cleanse. She is covered in a fine sweat that does everything to accentuate her curves and with her head thrown back her hair spills over her back like spun gold and silver. She is gorgeous and dangerous and Alistair is across the room ripping her off of Cullen and throwing her across the room and smites her with all of his anger. "How dare you!" Neria bounces off the wall and slides down blood gushing from her nose and several of her bones fracturing from the anger of Alistair's smite. "I should have known she would corrupt you. How could you let her seduce you?" Alistair looks at Cullen and then stalks over to Neria; Cullen is on him and throwing him away from her to land on the bed. He grabs his sword as he stands between Neria and Alistair blade pointing. 

"We need to talk about this Alistair; I need you to calm down." Cullen orders and Neria is trying to get her magic to respond to her but Alistair feels her reaching and cleanses her again. She can't even heal herself and she is beginning to lose consciousness with the blood loss. 

"Calm down? She corrupts everyone she touches. You who swore you would not break your vows have broken every one of them now. You are a Templar, she is a" 

"Grey Warden, same as you Alistair. Do not interfere here; this has nothing to do with you or your issues with her. You have always known I love her, I have never hidden that fact." Cullen glares at Alistair. 

"If Gregor found out?" Alistair asks curious. 

"Gregor knows, has known for months, probably years. I never thought it could work but she is not a mage of the circle, she is a Grey Warden and as you so politely told me my first night with you 'take her pleasures where and with whomever she pleases. We chose each other." 

"Why are you here?" Neria asks finally and is in excruciating pain and barely conscious trying to heal herself but Alistair keeps denying her. 

"I came to apologize for my behavior outside the city. I know you can't control your magic, I had no right to be so harsh with you." 

"Yet she is on the floor bleeding and broken and you still deny her help. She cannot cast with you constantly cleansing her." Cullen is furious. 

"She is that drained?" Alistair looks over at Neria in surprise. 

"Yes, orgasm plus cleanse equals no magic and a very happy Neria who isn't blowing everyone up." Cullen still won't lower the blade. 

Alistair closes the door and walks over to Neria who has lost consciousness and is covered in a rapidly growing pool of blood. Before he reaches Neria Cullen has his blade at his throat. ”I will deal with this Alistair, you need to go away. I can handle getting her cleaned up and healed.” 

“This is how you control her? This is how she is so stable with you? When did all of this start?” Alistair is looking at Neria as he asks this. 

“Let me get her awake and she can choose to tell you what she wants, I won’t speak for her.” Kneeling down Cullen puts the blade down though keeps an eye on Alistair and dribbles health potion down her throat. It’s enough to give Neria time to heal. Cullen takes the towels Alistair hands him and cleans her up and then covers her in a sheet putting pants on himself. Neria is huddled in the covers looking at Alistair warily. 

“Can you talk about this with me?” Alistair pulls a chair over and straddles it. Cullen sits in a corner behind Alistair watching Neria on the bed. He still hasn’t put the blade up and Neria smiles at that. 

“What do you want to know?” Neria puts her head on her knees trying to look non-threatening but knows it doesn’t work. 

“How long has this been going on? Did Zevran know?” 

“No, there was nothing for Zevran to know. Andraste’s Ashes was the first time, I thought for sure it was a dream though. Effects of Cullen and I lasts for hours Alistair. I can walk into the Lands Meet and be perfectly fine with just my jewelry. Best way to describe it, it takes the edge off. Look how relaxed you are with me right now. There’s no insects buzzing in your ear is there? No slight pressure buildings all the time when you are around me?” Neria waves a hand at this. 

“It’s like you are still fully bound. That was why you didn’t blow up when you and I had our standoff when you submitted wasn’t it?” Alistair's mind is putting it all together. 

“I would have blown up that entire library by just taking off my leg guards Alistair, you know that. Now, do you want to explain what exactly your problem is with Cullen sleeping with me?” Neria shifts a little and the covers slide down a little. Alistair devours the sight and Neria’s face changes to one of dawning. “You want me! You are fighting yourself over me. After all this time, after everything I have done to you, you still want me and you hate yourself for it. What about Elissa?” 

“Even after I marry her I have no idea what to do with her.” 

“That makes sense, you never took your vows and when you were recruited by Duncan you didn’t exactly have time for a dalliance.” 

“Why would it matter about his vows?” Neria asks Cullen. 

“He would have been just as locked up as you in the tower for the entire time he was an apprentice Templar.” 

“Sisters?” 

“Vows of Chastity strictly enforced and he would have been with the monks.” Neria looks at Cullen when he nods Neria drops the cover a little more and holds out her hand to Alistair.  
Alistair approaches and takes the hand walking to the bed and running a hand down Neria’s face. Neria is terrified; she is trying to relax, trying to remind herself this is Alistair who has never tried anything like this with her. Cullen moves to the bed behind Neria stroking her back. Alistair bends down to kiss her and as he kisses her tears spill over. Those tears hit Alistair’s cheek and it’s like being burned. He looks at her and registers the fear in her eyes. “Maker Neria, this is not what you want. You are still so afraid of me, why?” 

She shakes her head no, keeps a hand on him when he would leave and gets her tears under control. “Mage Tower, Fade you tortured and raped me over and over again. Didn’t matter how or why, didn’t matter what I did or if I tried to stop you it was always you over and over again. When we got out it was always you who wanted more and more metal on me to bind me, you always cleanse or smite me and then touch me. Every time I trust you I am beaten, broken and utterly not thankful for the experience. But this, this I need to do. You will not hurt me; I want to do this for you. I am honored you would choose me to be your first.” 

It doesn't matter what Neria's mind wants, her body will not respond for Alistair. When he kisses her again she is rigid and he shakes his head at her. “I appreciate the offer but I am going to decline.” He walks out and Cullen gathers her back into his arms. She lays down with her head on his chest and sleeps. Much later Cullen gets out of the bed to find Leliana.  
It is the night before they are leaving to Denerim and the final fight. Zevran has managed to stay hidden keeping out of sight and still keeping an eye on Neria. There are questions he has though, questions he needs answers to and therefore when he catches Leliana in the library he smiles. “Songbird, you used to be so much better at knowing when you are being followed.” Leliana looks up and then around, Zevran steps into the light and she gasps. 

“Zevran? How is this possible? Are you a ghost?” Leliana approaches him and he expects her to trace his facial tattoo but she doesn’t. She traces the scar on his neck instead. 

“I am still a ghost of sorts. Enough though I have questions.” Leliana nods. “How is she? She does not seem better, she seems, “ 

“Resigned? Yes that is the word for her. She does not expect to live through this Zev. If she does she goes to Aeonar.” 

“Our daughter?” Zevran asks and Leliana shakes her head. 

“Tevinter, we hope to get her back when this is over but I don’t think it will work I'm sorry Zev, I wish I had better news.” 

“Do you think she should know I am alive?” Zevran asks and Leliana is shaking her head. 

“Let her go in peace Zev. She loved you; she wanted to let you go. Her life has not improved at all Zev, she is still chained, still having issues with her magic and the loss of you and your daughter hasn’t made it any better. She is with Cullen now though that relationship is doomed.” Zevran nods and fades into the shadows is there when Cullen comes in.  
Leliana has various documents scattered all over the place and is smiling as she goes through everyone's secrets. She flips a dagger with her right hand and Cullen catches it as it sails at  
him. “Really?” He hands it back to her and joins her on the floor laughing when his movements cause some of the papers to flutter and Leliana curses at him. 

“You aren't normally up this late, no one is. It's the one part of the night when I can enjoy all the lovely secrets.” 

“Ah, well I know one of yours.” Leliana looks up at Cullen her face a smooth mask. “You blame yourself for Zevran's death.” Dagger falls out of Leliana's hand to clatter to the floor and Leliana stands up in one smooth motion glaring at Cullen. 

“That is no secret, certainly not one you need to throw in my face.” 

“True and that isn't even why I came down here. I apologize, though if you ever want to talk about it I am here.” Cullen offers warily.

“You write awful poetry about her.” Leliana says kicking a sheet of paper towards Cullen. Cullen smiles and retrieves the paper folding it and it's his turn to glare at her. 

“That is private.” 

“I am a bard, privacy is not a concept I understand and you know that.” Leliana smiles at him tenatively.

Cullen nods and gets to the reason of his visit. “Alistair needs to have sex. Wow that sounded better in my head.” 

“Then I suggest you talk to Elissa, she is the one he wants to marry. Wait oh, well that makes since. He did go from Chantry, to Wardens to traipsing about with us. I could take him to the Pearl.” 

“Yeah I am not seeing that work well.” 

“Did he try with Neria? I can't imagine that going well.” Cullen doesn't make any committal noises and Leliana laughs and smiles. “It is no secret you bed her Cullen, all of us breathe easier when you do. She is calmer, much more in charge of her magic and is happier than I have seen her since Zevran.”

“Why must that always be my measuring stick?” Cullen asks exasperated. 

“You didn't get to see her when we first started out; you missed the blossoming of her and him. He seduced her hours after trying to kill her. We were all treated to that show.” 

“I'm sorry what?” Cullen is looking at Leliana surprised and a tad jealous. 

“He had sex with her right there at the camp fire, rests of us were in our tents but we all heard. It was quite entertaining. Fire didn't start until the next morning. That was the day things got more complicated for her and Alistair.” Leliana proceeds to tell him about the fireball and the rest of the explosions and issues with her power and Alistair trying to deal with her and utterly failing. “We had no idea she was pregnant until we went to the Dalish. She nearly killed Zevran that night with her flames but they were dealing with it until the tower. When he offered to bind her,” 

“She never forgave him. She never forgave Alistair for his mistreatment of her either.” Cullen shakes his head at the story. 

“What happened at the tower that I missed?” Leliana asks, it's a question she has asked many times and never figured out. 

“Fade. Same way it messed with all of us Alistair and her both paid a heavy price in there.”

“So what exactly are you asking me?” Leliana looks at Cullen with her arms crossed. Cullen debates with himself how much to tell, how angry Neria will be if she finds out. He never considers if Alistair will be upset. 

“Alistair caught us, was not happy settled him down and Neria offered.” 

“Her body rejected him, maker Cullen why would you allow it?” Leliana is surprised and intrigued. 

“I thought it would help, they have both hurt each other so much I thought one memory would work. He keeps reaching,” 

“She always fails him. He always fails her.” Leliana says shaking her head and then continuing, “Alistair and I are friends; he is not interested in me that way. If you want to help Alistair and Neria, keep her under control and keep him away from her. I do not think she will submit again to him, not after Drakkon and the camp. I will make an offer for Alistair; do not be surprised if he turns me down. Now get back to Neria, if she wakes and you’re not there she will not be happy.”

Morning of the Lands Meet dawns gray and rainy. Riodan has gone to the cache of armor and weapons in Denerim and pulled enough armor to outfit the Templars and gives Neria an ermine cloak with the warden symbol on the back. “It was Duncan’s.” Riodan hands Alistair the shield. Alistair is humbled beyond belief as he takes the shield and straps it on. Jowen and Morrigan will be in crow form, Oghren, Leliana, Wynne and Sten will be part of the crowd. Cullen in full Templar armor has to stand with the Cleric while Neria and her guards including Riodan will stand for the Wardens. Elissa will be with her brother. 

Leliana giggles and claps her hands together as they get ready to leave. “Places, everyone, places. Show will start in one hour. Smile folks, we are headed to change the future of our country no reason to look like we are going to a funeral, though with that much black it really does look like we are.” She finishes the speech with a flourish and a bow. It has the desired effect on the group and they head over to the Lands Meet. 

Cullen thinks back to the morning when he and Neria were getting ready. “Earrings, Torque and dangle necklace, arm bands, bracers and bracelet, leg guards and shackles, do you want the manacles on?” Cullen asks finishing with the leg guards and not missing Neria’s intake of breath as the metal adheres to her skin or that she shakes her head no to the manacles. She helps him into his armor and rests her head against his chest as he holds her. “This will go the way you want it to Neria, have faith in yourself and your choices.” 

“What if he is struck down by Loghain? I cannot lead men like he can; I cannot inspire them to fight. No one wants to follow a mage into battle.” 

“I do, we’ve done good work Neria. You’ve done good work.” Cullen tips her head up and kisses her; she is up on her tip toes wrapping her arms around him as he holds her close. She is all he ever wanted and maker help him vows be damned he will not give her up. 

Splitting up as they enter the hall Alistair stays with Neria for the moment. “Are you in control?” Neria flinches as he reaches out to touch her and Alistair drops his hand. 

“Yes, I am fine Alistair I will not blow anyone up in here unless it’s required. You want to rule with Elissa on your side correct? You want Loghain dead in combat if it’s called for. Has any of  
that changed?” Neria looks at Alistair with those eyes and she is so tiny and he just wants to touch her and he can’t, but he nods in agreement. Morrigan caws and Neria looks up at the bird as she leaves the rafters to fly over a group and Neria’s nostrils flair. “Travis.” 

“Petite?” He is there instantly hand on her back looking where she does. 

“Second row back, man in mage robes, Alistair is that the Tevinter mage?” 

“Petite, blue skies fluffy clouds mon deu but you are pulling.” Travis turns her to face the other direction even as Alistair is reaching for her along with the other two Templars and Neria panics. “Your magic isn’t there right now petite, calm down you got this.” Travis blocks the hands of the other Templars. “Keep your hands to yourselves boys; she does not like to be touched.” 

Neria makes it a point to reach out to Alistair, “I am fine Alistair. I can see that is the mage, Beric can you get word to the other Templars to get that mage. He was working with slavers in the Alienage.” Beric nods and slips away, returning minutes later smiling. 

Loghain strolls into the meeting and scans the room to see Neria and smiles. He is in full plate with the Dragon on his armor and he looks every inch the capable battle Commander he is. He launches into a speech about how he can defeat the blight and they don’t need Orlesian help. Alistair grits his teeth at this. “Now we shall get to the point of this meeting shouldn’t we? Where is the puppet? Alistair please step forward.” Alistair does and Loghain laughs. “Ah yes the puppet and his puppet master Neria, Elvin mage.” Travis casts cleanse on her to douse her sudden flames but smiles as she walks to face Loghain. “I have a question for you both, where is my daughter? My Commander tells me you broke into Earl Howe’s estate and abducted her. You killed Earl Howe as well.” 

Before Neria or Alistair can speak Anora steps forward and says, “I can answer that question myself father. I was indeed abducted and Alistair tried to convince me to give up the throne. He has sworn if he does not win this lands meet he will force me to marry him and take my throne.” 

Entire hall hears the slap Neria deals the taller woman and gasp as blood trickles down Anora’s mouth. “You will not speak of Alistair that way; you will not lie to this meeting here and now. You will answer for your part in this Anora.” 

“Touch my daughter again mage and I will kill you where you stand.” 

Loghain stalks towards Neria and she holds up her hand. “You will answer for your poisoning Arl Eamon. You will answer for your selling of elves into slavery, you will answer as to why instead of helping in the battle of Ostregar you fled the field and abandoned your king. You will also answer for containing a Templar and interfering with his duties.” Alistair demands. 

“A Crime that is punishable by death Tyern Loghian.” Grand Cleric cries out from the gallery above. 

“You also imprisoned another Arl’s son who will never walk properly again. You Loghain have many crimes to answer for and I will hear them now.” Alistair finishes his speech and crosses his arms waiting for an explanation. Neria smiles slightly, Alistair has grown up quite a bit. 

“Why should I answer to you pup, you who says you are Marric’s son but offers no proof.” 

“I’m sorry, you have known me most of my life Loghain, I could use Cailan as a shaving mirror or my father for that matter. I was raised my Arl Eamon in Redcliffe, uncle to Marric’s queen. I have been and always will be Marric’s son and rightful heir to the throne. Answer for your actions.” Loghain has unsheathed his two-hander and is on Alistair in a moment. Neria turns off her bracelet as Loghain’s men come to join the fray and she smiles as the Templars in Warden armor step in as well. It is a brutal battle that seems to be going Loghain’s way until the Grand Cleric calls a stop. She is echoed by most of the nobles. Neria freezes Loghain and the rest of his men with a blizzard though offers her hand to Alistair when Loghain nods he will stop. Taking her hand Alistair casts cleanse and smiles when Travis steps up to take her. 

“We will not have a war in this chamber. Anora wishes to keep her throne, Alistair wishes to take it. This will be settled in single combat as tradition dictates. Can I get a second on this?” Nobles from all corners echo their agreement and the Grand Cleric nods. “Anora, are you to take the field or are you naming a champion?” 

“I name my father Tyern Loghain as my Champion.” Anora says and Loghain smiles. 

“Alistair, do you take the field or are you naming a champion?” 

Neria is already speaking to Alistair. “I know you want to fight this, but if you fall. We need you for the blight.” 

Neria is worried and Alistair smiles. “I can do this Neria, I have to do this. Who would fight for me?” 

“Sten, Oghren, Leliana, Morrigan, Jowen, I can keep going if you like.” 

“Stop, I get it, I will fight this and I will be successful.” 

“I will take the field myself.” Alistair smiles as the nobles echo their approval. 

Travis has pulled Neria back and the rest of the Templars keep her hidden and towards a door. Neria gasps as she feels Cullen pull her against him and lace his fingers with hers. To the others it looks like she is standing in front of Cullen her arms behind her back. Neria is not ready for the clang of steel on steel as Loghain attacks Alistair quickly. Loghain is fast, fit and utterly ruthless in his swordplay. Alistair is used to erratic movements of dark-spawn of the sparring of his companions. Neria smiles however as Alistair uses smite on Loghain driving the man to his knees. As Alistair tries to take advantage of the blow Loghain comes up and opens a slice along Alistair’s under arm. It is not a bad cut but Loghain’s hits with his huge blade are jarring for Alistair. Alistair lets out a bellow when Loghain scores a slice on his leg and goes down. Neria is trying to stay calm, trying to be quiet as Cullen hangs onto her. “Let me go, I will not watch him fall.” 

“Petite, you will if the Maker deems it so, your interference at this point will not be welcome.” Travis is holding her arm and casts cleanse. Neria looks up to see Elissa hiding her face in her brother’s shoulder. She misses Loghain’s slice to Alistair’s shoulder but does not miss Alistair's graceful move of shield to the chest of Loghain and a pommel to the temple that knocks the Tyern out cold. 

Alistair removes Loghain’s blade to a safe distance and places his blade on the man’s throat as he wakes up. “You have lost Loghain, yield.” 

Loghain nods and gets up. “So there is a bit of Marric in you boy. I will admit to underestimating you and will concede the fight.” 

“Anora, the Lands Meet has sided against you, you must yield the throne.” Arl Eamon says slightly smiling. 

“I will never yield to you Alistair. Marry me and we will rule together.” 

“Never, take her to the tower. I will say this Anora. If I fall in the Blight you may have the throne, do you understand.” 

“Alistair? Are you sure?” Eamon asks and Alistair nods. “Warden, do you have anything to add?” Eamon looks at Neria and she shakes her head yes. 

“I agree that Alistair shall rule, should he fall Anora will reign. There is still the matter of Loghain Alistair. What do you choose to do with him? ” 

Neria knows the look he gives Loghain and shivers anyways. “For your crimes against the realm Loghain, you will die.” 

“Your Majesty, a moment.” Riodan speaks up and steps forward. Alistair steps to him and Neria joins them. “He is a capable Commander and I do have enough supplies to make one warden. Only a Warden will be able to kill the Arch Demon and with only you and Neria and me, another would be nice.” 

“No, absolutely not I will not stand next to him as a Warden, he does not get to besmirch the order he tried to have wiped out and die a hero.” Alistair is furious though manages to keep his voice low. 

“Your Majesty, that is not your decision to make.” Riodan points out and Alistair curses and looks at Neria. 

“You swore my revenge was not worthy, that it did not make me better. Loghain is no different, he is a capable Commander Ostregar aside and he leads men well.” 

“Neria, do not use this as a way to get back at me. Do not do this to me I beg you.” Alistair reaches out and Neria instantly jerks away with Travis’s hand blocking Alistair from grabbing at her. 

Alistair hisses and clenches his fist. “As your king,” 

“You are not my king; Wardens bend their knee to none try again.” 

“I will not follow him into battle.” 

“You won’t follow me either so how is this different.” 

“Would Duncan want him in the order?” Alistair is grasping for straws. 

“Duncan would agree if only because he is a capable Commander and will bolster our chances of success against the Arch Demon. “ 

“Then I ask this in payment for your daughter’s life.” 

Neria steps back as if Alistair has slapped her. “You, you swore.” 

“This is the price of that oath Neria. Loghain for her that is the only bargain I will make. Let him live and I will not raise a finger to help her.” 

“You are not that cruel.” Riodan says and Neria chuckles and shakes her head. 

“He is, and he has made his deal. I am sorry Riodan, it will have to be us against the blight let’s hope we are enough.” 

“Loghain your sentence of death shall be carried out immediately.” Alistair states and picks up the Tyernn's blade from the floor. 

“NO!” Anora tries to rush forward to be stopped by Bann Teegan 

“Hush darling, there is no honor in going to your death crying foul. I love you and I was always proud of you.” He nods to Alistair and drops to his knees. It is a quick death though many of the Noble ladies either feint or gasp in horror as Loghain’s head rolls and blood sprays everywhere including over Anora. 

Teegan helps her from the room and Alistair cleans the blade and drops it on the body. “Ferelden, the time has come for the fighting of each other to stop and for us to focus on stopping the Blight. Lend me your armies and allow us to end this blight before more towns are lost.” Most of the nobles cheer and the meeting break up with many coming to congratulate Alistair. 

“Petite?” Travis asks and Neria shakes herself mentally and physically. 

Eamon approaches “Gather the companions and follow me Neria, Alistair wants a word.” Neria nods and makes the circle motion in the air. Leliana nods and starts gathering everyone. They follow Eamon to a smaller chamber in the castle. This is where Alistair will live from now on; it will take adjustment for her. Cullen sends Beric and the other to their respected posts though not before Travis tells him about Alistair’s exchange with Neria. Cullen goes pale with rage but tamps it down and nods. Neria thanks the Templars for their time and Riodan goes with them to the estate to collect the armor. 

Soon it is just the companions in the room and Morrigan flies in behind Jowen and is cursing as she changes. “How dare he! How dare he do that to you?” She is so furious the plants in the room start withering and dying and Sten and Cullen both step up to calm her. 

“Alistair is king, why are you upset? I thought this is what we wanted?” Leliana asks perching on the chair Oghren is sitting in. 

“It was Loghain, he,” 

“Stop Cullen, we need to focus on the blight. I will not have our group divided on the account of a personal disagreement I had with Alistair.” Neria is pale and hugging herself trying to get warm she is so cold. She walks over to the fire and stands in front of it. Alistair comes in to a silent room and tries to gauge it. 

Neria looks at him and her eyes are stricken tears track her face. “Maker, Neria, I’m sorry. All I could think about was my rage against Loghain. I was desperate.” He crosses to her and she reaches out to brace against the hearth knowing he will try to touch her. He doesn’t disappoint reaching to grab her shoulder and make her face him. Everyone in the room is holding their breath and none of them are surprised when he reaches out and she ducks under and slaps him. Flames were on her palm and the skin on Alistair’s face is blistered and red. 

“Dammit, I know better and I still do it every time.” Alistair is backing away from her and holding his face. 

“If you ever use her as a pawn again Alistair I will kill you. Do I make myself clear?” She is glaring up at him and reaches out a hand to heal him. His face is left unblemished and he nods. 

“I did not tell them, nor will I. We must be united to fight the blight and what you did would not earn you friends in this room. Speaking of which why are we here?” 

“I want to go back to Ostregar, There are answers there I need. I also need someone to go back to Redcliffe and work with the troops there to teach them how to fight Dark-spawn.” 

“I take it you want to go to Ostregar?” Leliana asks and he nods. 

“I will teach the troops about dark-spawn.” Oghren offers and Alistair nods. 

“Where do you want me to go? Do you intend to keep me captive again with the Cleric while you go off and get hurt?” Neria asks quietly and bitterly. 

“No, we will need your help at Ostregar, it is likely crawling with dark-spawn still.” Alistair says and then continues. “Sten, Oghren and Leliana can go to Redcliffe rest can come with me. Jowen and Morrigan, you can come or stay as you see fit.” 

“I will go to Redcliffe, I have no desire to see Ostregar again.” Morrigan says. 

“I will stay with Neria, Wynne what do you want to do?” Jowen asks the elderly mage and all heads turn to her. 

She has been a silent companion lately though she smiles at the group. “I will go back to Ostregar, I have debts to settle there.” 

Shale crosses her arms. “I will remain here if you do not mind Neria, this library has some interesting books about golems.” Alistair nods and they make plans to leave in the morning. 

“You can stay here or back at the Estate as you like, I will be staying here.” Alistair says. They all turn when a knock on the door reveals Eamon. 

“There is a party tonight, it starts in a few hours I suggest the ladies go get ready and be back here before it starts.” Alistair groans. “You my boy, need to dance with all the eligible ladies, I know you are set on Elissa but that does not need to be common knowledge right now when you need these Nobles armies.” Alistair nods though groans in annoyance when he realizes what that will mean. “Also there is someone here to see Neria, says to give her this and she will know who it is.” Eamon hands Neria a green bow with a bit of cat hair on it and she smiles. 

“Where am I to meet him?” Neria asks and Cullen arches an eyebrow. 

“He said to tell you Stars are bright and Lovers are light. “

”So that we may dance under the stars and enjoy the light of our love forever.” Neria finishes the line and smiles again. She goes to leave and Cullen starts to follow. “No, Cullen please do not follow me. Do not ask me questions, I cannot answer them.” Cullen clenches his teeth and nods. “I mean it Cullen; all of you do not follow me. I will be back I promise.” She glares at all of them and especially Leliana When she leaves Leliana waits and then heads to the door. 

“No, Leliana do not follow her. I know who she is meeting and why she cannot have me there.” Cullen says punching the hearth in fury. 

Neria glances over her shoulder on occasion and weaves through the halls towards the library. She is almost there when a hand grabs her and pulls her back towards a study. Neria reaches for her magic and breathes it away when she is enveloped in a hug that smells of lyrium, herbs and vanilla. “I thought I was supposed to meet you at the library. Vague reference to the ceiling of the one in the castle having the stars on it was brilliant by the way.” She snuggles into the smell and warmth that is Anders. He is careful to avoid the mage metal on her as he kisses her hair and puts his forehead to hers just breathing her in. He pulls her over to a couch after locking the door and nods at the bracers. “Lose the bracelets and we can have some fun.” Neria shakes her head and removes the manacles, and then the bracers and hears Anders' hiss of disapproval at her scaring. She sets the bracers down on the low table in front of the couch and settles into Anders' lap making sure her hair blocks his skin from her necklaces. Her arm bands are under her sleeves but Anders feels them and shakes his head. Running his hands down her arms he captures her hands and nibbles on one finger while healing the other hand. “I can’t remove the scars but I can make them fade, maybe I can heal some of them.” 

“How did you escape? You know I have Cullen with me.” 

“Snuck out the back and yes I know you have him. Rumor has it he is the next Knight Commander.” 

“Those are true, he is on lend until I am done with the blight to keep me in control.” 

“I thought our new king was a Templar, he not strong enough? Neria, what’s wrong. Did he hurt you?” Darling Anders who would not miss the tenseness of her body, or the change in her breathing at the mention of Alistair bites her finger to bring her out of the memory. 

“No, he’s not strong enough to control me.” Neria dashes the tears from her eyes quickly offering a sad smile to Anders. 

“Hence all the jewelry, I can feel them on your legs as well. I can’t do any more for your hands but at least you’ll be able to have full range of motion. At least until they put the gloves back on again.” 

Neria shakes her head. “It’s been awful Anders, I should have never listened to Jowen; at the same time I have seen wonderful things too and loved.” 

“Loved? What happened?” Neria shakes her head and Anders just holds her. She and he talk for hours neither willing to break this little piece of heaven between friends. Eventually she removes her leg guards and Anders heals her legs as well. Snuggled back on the couch she falls asleep listening to him read a book to her and the crackle of a fire.


	30. Final Stanza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting to the end of this journey...  
> Oh yeah smut...glorious smut
> 
> “Yeah yeah, everyone's all yay flames until she blows us all up.” Alistair

Alistair is doing his duty by dancing with all the ladies that ask though making sure to see to Elissa as well who is laughing and having a grand time at Alistair’s expense even as she is courted by all the men eligible. Alistair trusts Eric to take care of his own sister though smiles when he sees the man is in the same straits he is on being asked to dance by all the ladies as well. His wife and son had been killed at the attack of Highever but that does not seem to deter the ladies as much as it should. Every once in a while he catches Cullen’s attention for the Templar to say Neria is not there. 

It’s Alistair who finds Neria and Anders in the study. He is beneath her and she faces him her arms wrapped around him legs tangled together. He doesn’t miss her bracers and leg guards on the table either or her belt. There is a discarded book on the floor and he feels like he is walking in on something private. He turns to leave and almost runs into Cullen. Cullen looks past Alistair to see Neria and clenches his jaw. “How did you find her?” Cullen asks quietly. 

“Servant you?” 

“That line is from one of her favorite books and the library in this castle is famous for the ceiling. When she wasn’t in the Library I figured she’d be in one of the studies.” 

“How are we not feeling her? How is she not wild with magic? Who is he?” Alistair asks crossing his arms at the mage. 

“Name is Anders, I’m a Creation/spirit mage combo. Basically I’m sending her extra magic to the fade, keeps her hidden so long as she touches me. I’d greet you but arms kind of full here.” 

“Anders, you know I have to take you in.” Cullen says and Neria is awake and flames are everywhere as she goes from sleepy mage to full protection mode. 

“You will not have him Cullen.” Anders grabs her arm and Neria’s magic fades a little. “Stop Anders, I will not let them touch you.” 

“Neria, you know I cannot protect him, he is an apostate and has killed a Templar.” 

“Cullen, please. I beg you, do not take him back. If what you say is true they will kill him, he won’t survive in Aeonar.” 

“Neria, I am a Templar.” 

“Not until after the blight, you are a warden right now Cullen that was the agreement. It’s why, please Cullen please.” Neria is crying and Cullen cannot give this to her. 

“Cullen?” 

“Yes, oh.” Alistair hits the other man and knocks him out cold. “Go, Andres quickly.” 

Anders gathers Neria up and hugs her close and kisses her hair even as she is sniffling. “It’s okay Neria, we will see each other again. Give that Demon hell huh?” He kisses her forehead and bows low to the king. “Your Majesty, if you are ever looking for a mage to warm your bed please think of me.” He winks at Alistair's shocked look which makes Neria laugh. 

“Oh. I thought,” 

“Oh he does swing both ways but he knows he’s not my type.” 

“You two looked like.”Alistair is blushing and Neria is smiling. 

“He is more comfortable to sleep on than that damn board and he is an amazing healer.” 

“You might want to back up.” Alistair indicates to Neria who smiles and rouses Cullen with heal. 

Cullen does wake up and glares at Alistair and then at Neria. Alistair recognizes the look Cullen gives Neria and leaves not wanting to be there for those fireworks. When Cullen makes to leave Neria grabs him and he spins and kisses her harshly. “Why?” 

“huh? Oh. We can have that talk while you are binding me. I am trying to stay in control but I really want to kiss you and it’s getting hard to stay calm.” Cullen drags her over to the table and puts the bracers on quickly and then the leg guards and casts cleanse after cleanse on her. Shackles and Manacles are put back on and he is kissing her and pulling at her robes. “I didn’t, Anders and I have never.” 

“Stop talking, need you naked right now.” Neria laughs low at that and helps him with his clothing and then pushes him down on the coach to straddle him. She rides him and she is so happy this man is with her. 

“I have to report him Neria.” Cullen says between nips on her neck and thrusting from below. Neria swipes him with her nails but nods. “When I walked in and saw you two,” 

“I know it probably looked like we had just fallen asleep after but he was healing me. Look, I can move all my fingers again.” Neria shows Cullen her hand and how flexible it is again. He grabs the hand and marvels at it kissing her fingers and then smiling as she laces her hands behind his neck and bursts into flames with her orgasm. Casting cleanse he places her on her back keeping her up as she spirals and shatters for him. Neria howls in pain and then digs down into the cushions and pulls a book out Cullen having stopped to look at her. “Pleasures of the Princess, now that is so appropriate right now.” Cullen grabs a cushion from the end and places it under her back and joining her in her moan at the change in angle. Soon he joins her in her release and both of them are sated. 

“You missed all the dancing and the party.” Cullen pulls her up to straddle him and resting her had on his chest. 

“Oh, Anders was healing me and then we were reading a book and I must have fallen asleep.” 

“Would you have danced with me?” Cullen asks running fingers through her hair. 

“Of course I would have. You looked very handsome tonight if I didn’t tell you between following your orders and trying to toast you.” 

“Shall we get some sleep? I am sure we only have hours before daylight.” 

“Yes, though bring that book with you it piqued my interest.” Neria giggles as she gets dressed and walks out of the study with Cullen behind her. 

Elissa, where is Elissa is all Alistair can think about as he leaves from the study. He catches a glimpse of who he thinks is Elissa though upon catching the girl he sees its Leliana Bann Teegan is in front of her and his clothes are slightly messed up as well as Leliana's “Don’t look at me like that Alistair, go find Elissa if you are so inclined. I want Teegan and only Teegan” Leliana pulls Teegan close and kisses him deeply as the man wraps her up and pulls her to him. Alistair shakes his head and realizes the wine is catching up with him. It’s enough to clear his head for the moment and send him to his room. Stretching out on his bed it is all he can do to get his shirt off and free his aching cock from his pants. Thoughts dance across his mind of Leliana her red head kissing trails down his chest and Neria with her blonde hair licking his chest and running her hands over him. His hand is on his cock and he moans as he pictures his cock disappearing into Elissa’s mouth. “Elissa…” Is all he can say as he is desperate for release. 

“Alistair? Are you okay?” Elissa gently knocks and walks in. Alistair stops, hand on cock and looks at her in her dress and then down at himself and blushes clear to his hairline. 

“Oh, I could.” 

“Please don’t leave, please stay.” Elissa turns back from the door and looks at him indecision written on her face. Her green and gold gown brings out the auburn highlights of her hair and sets her emerald green eyes to glinting. She walks towards him and with a flick of her wrist unties the corset that allows the dress to puddle at her feet. She steps out of her small clothes and walks over to Alistair and bends down to kiss him smiling when his cock jumps in eagerness. She puts her head down and licks at the beading pearl there and Alistair moans. When she takes him in her mouth he nearly loses it and pulls her up. “I’ve never.”

“Neither have I, we can learn together.” Elissa says tracing a hand down to explore him as he explores her. They spend hours kissing and exploring each other until he has to take her and when he enters her she falls apart for him, nearly taking him with her. Two more times he sends her to the edge before finally releasing with a cry of her name.   
Elissa sleeps content in his bed as Alistair gets ready to go. “Where are you going?” She asks from the bed groaning at the early hour. 

“Ostregar.” 

“Oh, do you want me to come with you?” 

“No, I want you and Ser Gilmore to head to Redcliffe and help train the troops if you want.” 

“Take Rory with you.” 

“Who?” 

“Gilmore is his last name Alistair, Rory is his first name. Duncan was supposed to recruit him for the Wardens but never got to us in time.” 

“Will he leave you?”

“If I command him to yes.” 

There is the sound of armored feet running and a banging on the door as the subject of their conversation barges in and spouts, “Your Majesty, Elissa is not in her room. I have checked the castle and she is nowhere, oh my lady.” He looks at the ceiling and then turns his back on a laughing Elissa who is covered by blankets. 

“Elissa was with me last night Rory; also good you are dressed get ready we are going to Ostregar. We leave in an hour.” 

“Is Elissa accompanying us?” 

“No, we will be facing dark-spawn down there and I’d rather not risk her.” 

“Then I am not going with you.” 

“You will follow the orders your king gives you Ser Gilmore.” Elissa is all noblewoman now and her eyes are flashing. 

“Your pardon my lady but I am sworn to protect you and your household not him.” Alistair laughs at this and ducks the pillow that sails at his head. 

“You will obey me Rory, I am headed to Redcliffe and I will meet you there.” 

“Where you go I go, if your brother wants to end my service that is fine but I am staying with you.” Elissa is across the room and has hit Gilmore across the face. He catches her hand when she would do it again. “Elissa, this will not drive me from your side stop it.” Elissa yanks the door open and Alistair closes it. 

“Clothes love, you are not walking the castle in a sheet only I leave this dispute in your capable hands. If he’s at the gates of the castle ready to go in an hour that is fine, if not then I leave him to keep you safe at Redcliffe.” Alistair kisses her soundly and walks out not missing the slamming of the door as he leaves. 

Neria grimaces as her board is loaded into the back of Bodhan's cart and steps up to get in. Sten lifts her easily into the cart and she smiles as the Qunari steps back when Morrigan caws loudly at him. Leliana is kissing Bann Teegan goodbye and Neria is confused. “I thought you were going to Redcliffe” 

“Elissa is going, no reason for both of us to go besides you don't have a rouge with you.” Neria nods and smiles happy to have the bard along rest of the party is mounted on horses, pack horses also follow and Neria smiles at Cullen and Alistair's mounts. Cullen's mount is a steel gray with black mane and tail while Alistair is on a flashy Chestnut with flaxen mane and tail. Leliana's little butter colored mount looks dainty compared to the war horses. Wynne rides a placid gray gelding that falls instantly in love with Cullen's mount causing both to be very uncomfortable. Soon they are underway though. 

Travel to Ostregar takes about a week and though they do run into handfuls of Dark-spawn they don't run into the horde. There are dark-spawn at the ruins though and as they crest a hill the horses start to act up. Jowen flies down near Alistair setting his horse to squealing and causing him to glare at Jowen. “Did your king wear gold armor?” Alistair looks at Jowen hard and nods. “There is an alpha over that ridge wearing a gold chest piece.” Wynne draws in her breath and shakes her head. 

All of them get off their horses and Cullen gets Neria down and removes her gloves and chains. She casts heal on herself and sighs and flexes her fingers. Cullen rubs some of her hair between his fingers and kisses her. “Time to party darling, shall we show them what a real mage can do?” Neria smiles and drops her manacles and shackles into her pack. Cullen puts her chains in the wagon along with the gloves. They will come back here to sleep, she will not need to be chained before then he hopes. 

Jowen drops back down in front of Alistair. “There is a group of 20, are we ready?” Alistair nods and draws his blade and shield, Cullen loses his two-hander, and Leliana draws her bow and smiles as Neria turns into living flames. 

“Oh how I missed those flames Neria.” 

“Yeah yeah, everyone's all yay flames until she blows us all up.” Alistair says with a wink at Neria. Bodhan and Sandal have secured the horses in a makeshift corral.

Cresting the hill they are met with far more than 20 dark-spawn. “Taint is drawing them to us, Jowen do your thing.” Alistair orders as Jowen nicks his arm on a blade and gathers a couple of the glen-locks to do his bidding. “Oh I learned a new spell.” Jowen grabs one of the dark-spawn and then releases it into the others. It explodes taking a few of the others with it and splashing the companions with gore. 

“Okay, I approve!” Leliana is thankful she is in the back staying clean. 

“Course you would, you don't have to clean this off your armor.” Cullen quips clearing a path with his blade. Talk ceases until the dark-spawn are dead before them with an alpha at Neria's feet. 

“That is Cailan's breastplate.” Neria says unlatching the armor and pulling it off the body gagging at the smell. Cullen holds it up as Neria casts water to clean it from the snow on the ground. Alistair puts it in his pack and then they move into the ruins. It is full of dead, bodies are long into decomposition and even as they stand there crows and wolves feast on the fallen. 

Crossing over to where Cailan's tent was there is a chest there and Leliana hisses as she discovers the lock. “Neria?” Neria complies to freeze the lock and laughs as the bard is digging through papers in the chest. “Interesting, Alistair your brother was going to put Anora aside and marry Empress Celene of Orlais.” 

“I really do hate your brother the more I find out about him.” Neria says in disgust going over the papers with Leliana 

“Loghain wouldn't have agreed to that.” Cullen argues. 

“He did agree to it, his signature is on the contract.” Leliana hands the papers to Alistair. 

“Anything else in there?” 

“Not really oh here is the royal seal, that might come in handy.” Neria hands the seal over and Alistair puts it in his pack. 

Leliana finds a small box at the bottom of the chest and gasps at the picture inside. “Alistair, I don't think your mother was a servant.”

“What why?” He takes the picture from Leliana and rubs it disbelieving his eyes. It's a picture of his mother with Marric, the Warden emblem on her chest. 

“Your mother was a Grey Warden that explains a lot.” Neria says. 

“Why would Eamon lie about that? What would he gain by it?” Alistair is pocketing the picture and Leliana is shoving documents in the empty box and sliding it into her pack. 

“Marric might have made Eamon promise not to tell you.” Leliana offers knowing it’s a slim lie. 

“Ask him when we get back to Redcliffe.” Cullen shrugs and walks over to where the Warden fire was. There is nothing left of Duncan or any of the other Wardens but Alistair and Neria still say the Warden oath. 

Soon they are attacked by another wave of Dark-spawn and Wynne is caught on the blade of an alpha. Neria screams as she sees this and takes a blade in the stomach from a hurlock in front of her. She is healing herself even as she freezes the hurlock and Cullen smashes it. Neria rushes to Wynne gasping as she realizes the blade of the alpha has impaled her   
completely. Said alpha is now dead courtesy of Jowen but Neria is focused on Wynne. “It's all right Neria, just get this blade out and we can do this together.” Wynne says and Neria nods. 

Alistair pulls the blade out and Neria is covered in blood from the wound and Neria is casting the strongest heal she can. 

“Get clear folks, I need to unbind for this.” Jowen turns into a crow and flies off. Alistair and Leliana start jogging away and Neria looks up at Cullen. “You will need to get clear too, I can't   
guarantee I can keep you safe. “ Cullen shakes his head no. 

“Neria, you don't need to do this child, I have had a good life.” Wynne says blood coming out of her ears, nose and mouth. 

“I will not lose you to a damn dark-spawn Wynne.” Neria is pulling off her bracers as Cullen is getting her leg guards and earrings. “Only half the earrings, ready?” Neria says as her magic surges up and out like a mushroom cloud and she focuses as much as she can into Wynne healing her. Wynne's magic joins in and the old mage is laughing as it feels like thousands of feathers are tickling her. Neria's magic grabs the soil and heals it creating a mini paradise. Cullen stays close but does not touch her as her magic finishes healing Wynne and Neria tries to let it go. “Cullen!” Neria's magic is turning to flames and snow and lightning and Cullen grabs her with his bare hands casting the strongest cleanse he can. His other hand is getting the bracers and putting them against her skin. Neria cries out at the metal's sting but helps Cullen put it on her and grabs for the other one. Cullen kneels down keeping a hand on her knee and still casting as he puts the guards on. Neria is putting in her earrings and her maelstrom of magic is dissipating slowly. When it's over the ground Neria had healed is now ashes and Neria falls to her knees in the fresh layer of ash and snow. 

“Look sharp, we have friends coming.” Alistair helps Wynne up. 

“Bring them on, I haven't felt this good in years. Thank you Neria, you are truly a wonder.” Leliana laughs and sends a volley of arrows into the group though they all go a little pale when they hear the stomping of an Ogre. 

“Are you okay?” Cullen asks pulling Neria to her feet. 

“Yes, just ugh that takes a lot out of me.” Neria turns her bracelet off and turns her flames back on. Ogre comes stomping in and snatches at the companions all of whom move. Neria races in and slaps the Ogre's leg only to get picked up and tossed. 

“Neria!” Cullen yells but she is sailing and the Ogre is trying to crunch Cullen under one of its boots. Focusing his rage on the Ogre until it is dead along with its group of Dark-spawn. They run trying to figure out where Neria landed. Jowen flies as a crow trying to find the blonde mage in all the snow. Two false starts and they find her covered in flames beating off a group of looters. 

She is beautiful in her fiery rage as she lashes out with fists of flames and freezing her attackers. “You were warned!” Neria claps her hands together like thunder and lightning forks out everywhere hitting all of the targets and jumping between them until they are all charred husks of men. That lightning forms a circle around her as she turns to deal with the new threat and calls off her bubble when she sees it's Alistair and group. Even as they get close Neria is healing herself and casting rejuvenation on the group. “Are any of you injured?” Neria is assessing all of them and casts a small heal on Leliana 

“No, are you okay?” Leliana asks approaching warily. 

“Yes oh, this one had the helmet Cailan was wearing.” Neria points to one of the bodies with a golden helm on. Alistair grabs and pulls the helmet off the dead man gagging as half of the man's face comes with the helmet. 

“Maybe you cannot crispy fry them so well when they are wearing the armor?” Cullen asks helping Alistair with the helmet getting it clean. 

“Sorry about that, I panicked.” Leliana squeals in glee as she opens a chest to reveal the rest of Cailan's armor. Alistair puts the rest of it in his pack which is quite full now and that is when they see the bridge. They can see a huge tower as well and Neria cannot believe her eyes. On the tower impaled on various weapons is Cailan, left to hang.

“We have to get him down, he deserved better than this.” Alistair says and Neria nods. Getting to the bridge it is easy to get to Cailan's body but before they can a fireball is cast at them followed by a volley of arrows. Neria catches the fireball and tosses it back to its host who catches it as well and smiles as he casts a huge lightning arc. “Get Down!” Alistair yells as he catches the lightening on his shield and casts smite on the caster. Cullen has done the same and the caster is on the ground. Getting to him is Leliana's job and she does it flawlessly taking out the emissary with an arrow to the eye and a flash of her blades across its throat. 

Returning to Cailan's body they get him down and build a small pyre for the king. Neria sets the thing on fire and Alistair commends his brother's soul to the Maker. Leliana offers her support and Alistair smiles at the bard. Across the bridge is the battlefield where Duncan and Cailan fell. Alistair and Neria both scour the field for Duncan and do not find the body. When they give up and are leaving an emissary shows up and with a wave of his staff the field is alive with undead. None of the companions are ready for this though Alistair does tell Neria to take out the emissary. Two Ogres are awoken from their death and head straight for Alistair who is bellowing and attracting attention. Neria throws a fireball at one of the Ogres setting it on its ass where Cullen sinks his blade into the things head. Necromancer is laughing as she chases him from the field and over a hill out of sight of the others. She knows her mistake in a moment as a ballista bolt barely misses her. Sending flames to that she sends a shock to deal with the emissary and winces as first one arrow and then another finds its mark in her arm and her shoulder. Lightning arcs out and she takes out the archers and manages to finish off the necromancer. Yanking the arrows out she heals herself and heads back to the companions. She doesn't see the wolf until it’s on her ripping her neck out from behind. 

There is blood everywhere staining the snow and Alistair is on his knees next to Neria in a heartbeat. “Wynne!” 

“Alistair?” Neria is trying to move but the wolf is too heavy to move. Grabbing the leg of the wolf he pulls it off her and Neria sits up and Alistair winces at the blood completely covering her. He knows it’s her blood, can smell and taste it. 

“What happened?” Cullen is there and tracing hands all over Neria. 

“Stop, I'm fine Cullen. I killed all the dark-spawn and the necromancer and then this damn wolf tried to rip my throat out. Thankfully I had my torque on so he wasn't able to get a good bite.” Neria looks down at her robes and grimaces. Closing her eyes she cleans her skin of the blood and casts heal and rejuvenation on the group. 

“Can we leave now?” Wynne asks looking at Alistair and Cullen. 

“Here, it was Duncan's dagger. We found it on the Ogre.” Alistair hands the sheathed blade to Neria and she smiles. She straps it to her belt and takes Cullen's offered hand to get up. 

“Yes, let’s get out of here.” Alistair says and they head back to the wagon. It will be dark soon but they get on the road to Redcliffe anyways stopping long after midnight. Neria accepts the board as Cullen straps her down with the chains and manacles and shackles. Jowen casts sleep on her not giving Neria a chance to have bad dreams that might cause problems. 

There are flames everywhere and the cackle of an old woman whimpering of a young woman as the dark-spawn feed her more and more blood and violate her over and over. There are many women and Neria screams as the dark-spawn slit the throat of the children. Alistair is awake and to her in moments trying to soothe her and she is trying to soothe him. Her magic is straining against the restraints and so is she. “Neria, calm down, it's okay. It was I don't even want to describe what that was easy Neria.” 

“Off, get off me Alistair, get these chains off me please get them off!” 

“Neria, please calm down stop fighting!” Alistair casts cleanse on her and looks for Cullen. Cullen is to them in strides stroking Neria's face and trying to sooth her. 

“Cullen, children they are killing the children. They are taking the women, I can't even.” 

“They turn them into brood mothers. We fought one down in the Deep Roads. Hespeth told us how they do it; it was disturbing to say the least.” Cullen says still stroking her face and holding her hand in the gloves. Cullen lays down beside Neria taking the gloves off of her and holding her hand. 

“Those poor souls, we have to stop this blight now Alistair. No more side quests we get to Redcliffe and get the army and get this done.” Neria says looking at Alistair frantically. 

“Shh, we will I promise, sleep Neria just sleep you will be okay. We will be okay.” When Alistair goes to let go of her she squeezes his hand and lets him move away.

When they arrive at Redcliffe it is to a frantic Thomas saying the dark-spawn have overrun Redcliffe and the army is trapped. “The entire army is trapped in the castle?” Neria asks in disbelief. 

“No, most of the army is camped outside the city but I haven't been able to get any messages to them. I am the last one left of the messengers.” 

Alistair shrugs and they head to the castle taking the time to clear the town of the dark-spawn as well. Once cleared the castle is under attack by quite a few dark-spawn. “Right far too many for us to take on our own folks, let's get the army.” Cullen says shaking his head as he sees the hundreds surrounding the castle. 

“We got this Cullen, few hundred dark-spawn are nothing compared to our might besides rest of our group is already coming to help us out.” Neria points to the hill leading to the mill. Oghren, Elissa, Sten are all heading to them. 

“We only have a token part of the army in the castle. Rest are camped out on the outskirts.” Oghren says shaking his head at the silent question Alistair is asking. 

“Okay, Mages on the front save Wynne. Let's bottleneck them, melee folks you get to kill anything that comes close.” Neria takes off her bracers and leg guards and walking forward to the very front. 

“Neria, what are you doing love?” Cullen asks following before Alistair catches his arm. 

“She's letting her magic free.” Morrigan smiles and starts to cast. Jowen has already called some of the Hurlocks to him to send them back into the group exploding. Morrigan joins in on the fun as Neria's magic lances out in gouts of flame and lightning with a dash of snow to keep the dark-spawn off of her. Cullen steps up to stand at her back keeping the monsters off and keeping the path clear with his blade. Neria mixes a lightning storm with Morrigan's death cloud and both women smile at the results. Before long the entire group of dark-spawn are dead and the companions are smiling if a little tired. Morrigan, Jowen and Wynne join Neria in sitting on the ground waiting for Alistair and Cullen to cleanse them. 

Jowen is done first and Neria grimaces at this, Jowen has grown in power but not mana pool and is still the weakest of them. Wynne is next, her healing magic doesn't generate much feedback and she smiles as Leliana pulls her up and helps her into the castle. Morrigan and Neria taunt the Templars with raunchy jokes and calls into question their manhood at their inability to cleanse them. 

“Hush love, not fair to taunt me when I can't retaliate right now. This is not fun for me.” Cullen admonishes Neria.

“Oh but it is so much more fun when all the clothes are off, shall we strip for the Chantry boys?” Alistair goes very red in embarrassment while Neria laughs at Morrigan's comment. 

“Then I would have to kill him.” Sten says his arms crossed and glaring at the Templar. 

“Oh Sten, he does not turn that pretty shade for me, seems Neria's shown a little more skin than she's showing now to both Chantry boys.” Elissa's head snaps around at that and she walks over to Alistair. 

“Is what she says true Alistair?” Elissa demands. 

Morrigan is really laughing now even as Neria is blushing as well. “Well I am done, shall we go Sten?” Morrigan is up and striding away to Sten smiling wickedly. 

“No Witch, you do not get to say something like that and then walk away.” Elissa is truly pissed. 

“You do not get to call me names when I bring up something you do not know. If that were the case you would be calling me all sorts of names. You are late to this game.” Morrigan has spun and is walking up to Elissa. 

“Stop it both of you. If you must know Elissa, yes Alistair has seen my scars, he has treated my wounds on occasion, however more there has not been and will never be.” 

Alistair has reached out to Neria and she automatically flinches away and takes Cullen's hand instead. “I can't even touch her if I wanted to Elissa; there is nothing to be jealous of. Now can we go eat I am hungry?” Alistair shrugs off Neria's flinch and takes Elissa's hand pulling her inside. 

“What did he do to you?” Elissa avoids the hand hold and walks over to Neria reaching out to tilt her chin up to face her. 

“Keep your hands off me Elissa.” Neria bats the hand away already reaching for her magic, her right hand in flames. 

Elissa doesn't back down though thinks to push Neria. “You will tell me Neria. You will answer my question; I have a right to know.” 

“Just because you bed him does not mean you get to know all the secrets. Now back off before you do something I will regret.” Neria breathes away her magic looking past Elissa to Alistair. 

“You bitch.” Elissa goes to strike her but Alistair catches the hand and turns her around and shoves her in front of him. 

“That's enough Elissa, try to touch her again and I will allow her to strike you right back and I guarantee you won't like it.” 

“You would choose her over me?” She is struggling in his grasp and Alistair has had enough. 

“No. You will not make this an issue; you will not force her into our relationship. I am not joking here Elissa, leave it alone.” Elissa debates the full tantrum and decides against it for which they are all thankful for. Alistair leaves with her to the castle. 

“Possessive, is not a good quality in a queen.” Leliana says shaking her head. 

“No? Why is that?” Neria asks mystified. 

“Kings deal with temptation on a regular basis. Until she produces an heir, until he has an heir Alistair's queen won't get to be possessive.” 

“Alistair would be faithful.” Cullen says knowing the Templar. 

“Then I hope she bares him many healthy children. Otherwise we will have done this for nothing, for this land to be pulled right back into a civil war.”

“Maker I hope not.” Cullen shakes his head and takes Neria back into the keep the others following she is looking for a bath and a bed when Alistair stops her and Cullen. 

“Can you come talk to Eamon with me about my mother?” 

Neria shakes her head no. “Alistair, I do not want to cause you more grief with Elissa. Take her with you if you need support.” 

“It was you who found her locket here so long ago, please Neria.” He's using his eyes on her and it doesn't work. 

“Those eyes don't work on me Alistair; stop looking like a kicked puppy. Fine I will come with you but I swear if Elissa has an issue with this I am totally telling her it was your idea.” 

“I'll get our stuff put in one of the rooms. I'll also get the board.” Cullen responds and Neria nods and follows Alistair to talk to Eamon. 

Eamon is in his office going through paperwork. It seems all Eamon does is go through paperwork. “Eamon, have a moment?” Alistair asks and Neria nods at him in encouragement. 

“What's on your mind Alistair? I assure you we are ready to march in the next couple of days, war council bright an early in the morning with all of the delegates.” Alistair nods his head and takes the picture out and hands it to Eamon who almost drops it. 

“Where did you find this?” He asks setting it down on the desk like it will kill him. 

“Cailan had it in his chest, why would he have it? That is my mother isn't it?” 

“Yes, though what I am about to tell you cannot leave this room under any circumstances. “ When they both nod Eamon sits back down in his chair and sighs. “Maric was faithful to my sister Rowen for most of their marriage. It was rough back in those days trying to win our freedom from the Orlesians. Loghain, Rowen and Maric were the best of friends. There was also Grace, Loghain's first wife and Fiona your mother. Grace was never interesting to Loghain until Maric chose Rowen. There are valid rumors Rowen wanted Loghain but knew Maric could offer her a crown. I loved my sister dearly, but she wanted power and Maric was the one that could give that to her. Maric was madly in love with Rowan at first but their love waned in the fact Rowen truly didn't love him. Fiona was a Gray Warden, Grace's sister to boot. She was a hell of a Commander and could truly wipe the floor with most men. She was also the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, you have her eyes. One night she boasted she could best Maric and if she did not he could bed her. Maric took the bait and he bested her in hand to hand combat. Their relationship lasted the rest of the war and well into his reign as king.” 

“But why the duplicity of Goldanna?” 

“Who?” Eamon is truly confused. 

“This locket belonged to her; it has her picture in it.” Alistair shows the locket to Eamon. 

“Yes that is Fiona, who is Goldanna?” 

“My sister I thought, I did some research; when I was born my mother died giving birth to me and matched a serving maid's death. I found out she had another child older than me and visited her.” 

“Oh, that. Your mother didn't die that night Alistair, as a Grey Warden she couldn't have children. Her child would have been taken and given to a family to raise just as if it was born in the Chantry or the Tower. Maric couldn't have that, couldn't risk his child being out of his reach. Maid was a convenient cover story that will continue to stick. Your mother is dead; she did die of childbirth fever three weeks after you were born.” 

“So I don't have any siblings still alive?” Alistair asks shocked. 

“Not that I am aware of, Maric stopped taking anyone to his bed after Fiona left. Cailan was born, you were born and he was utterly heartbroken losing the two women he loved to the same thing.” 

“Rowen died literal weeks before Fiona died giving birth to another boy. She bled horribly when she had Cailan, I begged her not to try for another child but she didn't listen. She bled out that night and the boy was stillborn. Maric was numb from grief and didn't even go to your birth. He was too shocked, too grief stricken. He would have raised you but didn't want to risk the rivalry, he made sure to tell the right people if anything was to happen to Cailan. I was there at your birth though, I was furious with Maric for years for his affair with Fiona but she was utterly alone. I couldn't hate you, you who were so innocent.” 

“Then why send me to the Chantry?” Alistair asks quietly. 

“It was the best thing I could do for you, I couldn't let on who you were, couldn't educate you properly, and couldn’t even treat you correctly. It was the only answer I had available to me and honestly Alistair was it that bad?” 

“No, my education was excellent. But I was convinced no one loved me, that you hated me. Isolde,” 

“I know, after you left I found out how she treated you. I was furious, but I couldn't tell her either and she was so young, too young. Enough, I am done talking about this. Go get some rest; you're going to need it. Also, bed Elissa, you need an heir.” 

“We're not even married.” Alistair says embarrassment making him angry. 

“I'll work with what I have; I need you to have an heir. Until Elissa is pregnant you are not marrying her. I won't sign off on it.” He shuts the door behind them at that. Alistair and Neria   
leave each in utter shock. 

“Off to produce an heir?” Neria recovers first and smiles at Alistair's blush. 

“Not sure if she's recovered from being so possessive. I am not sure how to deal with her questions; do you want her to know anything?” Alistair closes his eyes trying to recover. 

“No, she needs to earn those answers and I am out of time for her to earn them. She can't understand half of what happened to us this past year. I can't expose myself like that emotionally to another person. I don't think what I tell her will help your relationship with her either.” 

They stop in front of Neria's door and Cullen opens it and smiles at Neria's blush of seeing Cullen in just his pants. “Not even going to try and hide it huh?” Alistair says rolling his eyes and leaves. Neria is snatched backward through the door and doesn't even have time to say anything as Cullen's mouth crashes on hers and he strips her small clothes off and sets her on the bed pulling her to the edge and kisses her again hands untying her robes and undoing her bracers. Pulling the robe off he pulls her leg bracers off as well and then he is kissing up her leg to her little bundle of nerves. 

Leliana sighs as she hears Neria and Cullen. She smiles to herself and then looks beside her to see Teegan looking at her smiling. This is the man she wants to spend her nights with; she is done with the spying then smiles as she knows that is a lie. She is mostly done with the spying but she wants this man right now and he is more than willing to accommodate her taking her into his arms and kissing her deeply. “We need to talk to my brother; we will talk to him before we go to Ostregar. Marry me Leliana, please!” This is said between kisses and Leliana laughs and nods yes. A slight frown mars her face though when she thinks of Eamon's response. 

“Let's tell Alistair first, he is the king we will need his blessing anyways.” 

“Oh you are a smart woman; I am a very lucky man.”


	31. Lies of Ribbons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Again I am being hurt at his will and I must submit, always must I submit to the mighty Alistair.” Neria

War council the next morning is a bunch of bickering about where to send the army. Alistair assures them the horde is not in Ostregar, dwarves know they are not past Lake Calenhad and elves know they are not in the south. “How could we lose an entire horde of Dark-spawn?” Alistair asks his hand on his knee and his head in it. 

“There are tunnels all over Theades that are part of the Deep Roads. There was a time when the entire of Theades could be walked without ever seeing daylight.” Irval Harromont says. Behlan has offered the man his life if he will lead the dwarves against the blight. 

“We need to figure out where the horde is, what the arch-demon is planning.” Mithras says her ears twitching and her armor clad hands clenching into fists. “Where is Llatholin?” Mithras asks looking around for Neria and not finding her. 

“Still asleep, she will join us when she wakes up.” Alistair says cluing in the rest of the group who they are talking about. 

“They call her the chained mage now.” Teegan says thoughtfully. 

“Is that wise for her to be in here?” Eamon asks looking a bit nervous. 

“She will be bound, besides she did fine at the Lands meet” Alistair reminds the group. Neria walks in then with Cullen she is bound and chained with her hands forced to be at her sides with the gloves on. 

“Chained mage huh? I seem to be very aptly named I think.” She says winking at Teegan “So what are the problems folks?” She is all business and Alistair smiles at that as Cullen steps to the wall behind her. Her bracelet is on and Cullen is casting cleanse at various intervals. 

“We have managed to lose an entire horde.” Alistair says smiling. 

“Then I can have my wardens find them for us.” Neria offers. 

“We are not risking either of you on a scouting mission. I can go if it is needed.” Riodan says from his corner near the door. 

“Then we wait your return.” Alistair says dismissing Riodan who takes a few of Eamon’s scouts and a couple of the Dalish with him. “How are our numbers standing?” Alistair asks and smiles as Mithras answers. 

“5,000 footmen, 4,0000 Calvary, 70 mages, 200 bowmen.” 

“That will have to work.” Alistair says followed with a “Thank you all of you for getting your men together. I know it wasn’t easy with Loghain’s loss at Ostregar. I will do my best to end this blight without needless loss of life.” 

“Is there anything else?” Eamon asks the room and when everyone shakes their head everyone starts shuffling out to refreshments. 

“Gardens for a picnic?” Cullen asks Neria and she nods. It’s a popular request as they approach the kitchens to see blankets and baskets of food already piled high. 

“Seems with this bout of pretty winter weather all of you folks want to picnic. Grab a basket and get on with you then.” Cook says and Cullen complies knowing Neria’s hands can’t go up that high. Redcliffe’s gardens aren’t extensive or very pretty. They are practical to feed the castle and for the local healers. Since its winter there is nothing really pretty to look at. 

Cullen takes Neria to the old oak tree near the back of the garden and helps Neria sit on the benches there. Taking off her gloves and chains Neria casts heal on herself and then smiles when the grass around her shoots new life out giving her a nice green seat which she takes and pulls Cullen down with her. He is careful to look like her Templar, her Jailer out here for there are far too many eyes that would see otherwise. “Mind if we join you?” Teegan asks basket in hand with Leliana. 

“No though do not sit too close to Neria please.” Cullen is formal and cold and Leliana cuts him a glare then nods in understanding. 

“I thought you were a primal mage.” Teegan asks indicating the green grass and slightly warmer air. 

“I am I also have creation magic, hence the balmy air and green grass. I will send it to slumber when we leave.” Neria helps with laying out food with Leliana 

“Your hands?” Teegan reaches out to touch it and Leliana bats it away and scowls at him. 

“Hands off the mage Bann Teegan” Cullen casts cleanse on Neria. 

“The scars are from the gloves, they are made out of mage metal. All of my bindings and jewelry are made out of it. It burns the skin on contact but it has to be in contact with my skin to work.” Neria pours drinks and handing them to everyone. “Before you ask no, your nephew will not be bound like I am. With his connection to the fade I am betting he is a spirit mage, if you are very lucky he will have creation as well. Creation mages usually get placed outside the tower as soon as able to bolster the healers in the area. He won’t be able to stay at Eamon’s court but he might be requested by Denerim or even Amaranthe.” 

“If he is unlucky he will be entropy like I am.” Morrigan arrives with Sten to join the group. 

“Why is that unlucky?” 

“Those mages are the first to turn to blood magic.” Cullen frowns as Jowen drops down at that moment. Soon all the companions are there except Alistair who Neria hopes is getting some   
peace and quiet with Elissa. 

“What are all the schools of magic?” Teegan asks curious. 

“Shall we do a show and tell?” Morrigan asks smiling. 

“Certainly.” Wynne says with a gleam in her eye. 

“I will tell but I’m not showing off my primal. I don’t want to scare everyone.” Neria shakes her head no at the idea already seeing Cullen tense at the mages showing off their magic. 

“I’ll go first.” Wynne says since she is the teacher. 

“First let’s start with the levels. These levels go from 1 to 7, 7 being the highest. All apprentices usually test 1 to 3 on arrival. There have been cases of babies being level 1 or 2 usually children from mages or extremely magical lines. Level 4 and 5 are usually your adolescent mages and most of your full-fledged mages. They are proficient in their school and have mastered one or two total. Level 6 mages are usually senior enchanters and are highly sought when paired with certain schools. Level 7 mages are the most powerful and rare. Currently there are 7 level 7 mages. All of your level 7 mages are First Enchanters save 1 and that is Neria. She is the only level 7 primal mage currently alive, last one was,” 

“Lionel Guerrin, he was imprisoned in Aeonar when he turned 19 and never saw the light of day again.” Cullen interjects. 

“He was 112 when he died.” Wynne states looking at Neria sadly. 

“Did you ever meet him?” Leliana asks Neria. 

“No, he was very unstable when he died. I was maybe 13 or 14 and I wasn’t all that stable that year either. Gregor did speak about him before I was sent to Aeonar, I think he hoped the mage might help me with my issues but it never happened. He was completely bound for the last few years of his life but even with his bindings his mind was gone. His guards did help with me though, however we had incidents. I cannot continue on this, too many emotions, Wynne please continue with the schools.” Neria waves her hand trying to breathe through the magic and feeling Cullen touch her head with his bare hand and casting cleanse. 

“Right, first school is Creation. Healing, making fields fertile, it is said the Dalish brought this magic to the humans to help them when they first came. It is the rarest school of magic as a primary though many manage to master parts of the spell as a second or third school. Wynne has dug her fingers into the soil and brought forth some flowers which Neria smiles at. 

“Second school is spirit which works mostly with barriers and kinetic magic.” Morrigan casts a small barricade around the group. 

“That comes in handy when Neria tries to blow us up.” Oghren says smiling to take the sting out of the words. 

“Then there is Entropy which deals in the darker parts of magic.” Wynne says as Morrigan steps on the green grass and it starts to die. “Finally there is primal, which is all about the elements. Fire, water, earth and air and the combo of spells that are powerful and deadly.” 

“Imagine flames, snow and lightning.” Neria says smiling. 

“Why are you always bound?” Teegan asks indicating the manacles and the chains on the bench. 

“Control, primal mages have their magic tied to their emotions which make it difficult to master control.” 

“So extremes of emotion are not a good thing then?” Teegan asks. 

“Exactly.” Neria says finishing her food and collecting the plates of those done. 

“Game of wicked grace?” Cullen asks the group. 

“Sure, here let me finish clearing the plates and we can split into teams. I want Leliana” Neria says smiling at the bard. 

“You wound me mage, why would you choose the bard over me?” Cullen asks. 

“Because you suck at bluffing.” Leliana and Morrigan say at the same time. 

The afternoon goes by quickly with the group laughing and enjoying the game. Neria laughs at something Sten says though and a huge drift of snow suddenly appears soaking everyone. Everyone is laughing though and soon there is a snow fight rather than cards. Neria is pelting Cullen with snowballs and even Morrigan is having fun. Teegan has taken refuge behind the oak while Leliana and Sten stalk Morrigan and Neria. Neria’s surges in power though do lead Alistair to come out to investigate. Seeing the snow fight he joins in pelting Neria with a snow ball and then ducking when she retaliates. Eventually they are tired and laughing far too hard. “It’s almost dinner time folks, if you need to change or anything.” Alistair states his original purpose and they stop and nod. Neria dries their clothing with a wave of her hand and most of them depart. Teegan is talking to Alistair and Neria is waiting for Teegan to leave before being bound. Cullen finishes cleansing her though and starts putting on the bracers which Neria grimaces at. 

“You are braver than I am Neria.” 

Neria looks up and then away trying to hide the tears as she is bound again. “Do not trust me Bann Teegan, for all my snowballs and drying of clothes I could easily reduce this entire castle to rubble or set it all afire in a heartbeat.” 

“But you choose not to which I am thankful for.” 

“It’s not choice Teegan, its luck.” Alistair says approaching to help Cullen with Neria’s leg guards. Neria waves him off with a shake of her head.

“No, I’m fine Alistair.” Cullen finishes the leg and then puts the chain around her waist and clips her hands to it then puts the gloves on. 

Neria stands up and Teegan shakes his head. “I have seen men go the gallows with less iron on.” Neria smiles sadly at that. 

“So they really call me the chained mage huh? That makes sense as I am always bound from one location to the other.” 

“This wasn’t necessary months ago?” Teegan offers his arm to Leliana as Cullen keeps a hand on Neria’s arm. 

“No, our travels have made me stronger and,” 

“They’ve emotionally tried you as well, I understand.” 

Neria nods as they get inside to the castle. Neria decides to take her dinner upstairs and Cullen joins her. Eating in peace neither of them are prepared for Leliana to come stomping in and flop on their bed drumming her feet on the bed to keep from screaming. “Yes Leliana, do come in and throw a fit on the bed with your shoes on.” Cullen says crossly spearing another bite of his roast and feeding it to Neria who is smiling. 

“How have I not killed that man these past months? How have I traveled with him this long and not known what an arrogant pompous asshole he can be?” 

“I just need you to see reason.” Alistair is in and crossing his arms as Leliana throws a pillow at him and then another one when he deflects that one that catches him full in the face. 

“I love him is not sufficient reason to allow us to marry?” Leliana wails dramatically in full pout. 

“Okay I need a playbook who is she talking about?” Cullen asks mystified. 

“She wants to marry Bann Teegan” Neria supplies laughing at Cullen’s expression. 

“Isn’t he a little old for you Leliana?” 

“Oh you are one to talk there Cullen.” Alistair says glaring at the Templar. 

“Leave me out of this please.” Neria casts both men frosty glares. 

“Yes, let’s focus on me here. I want to marry Teegan” Leliana says crossing her arms. 

“You love him is not a sufficient reason for a Bann to marry a, a.” 

“Peasant, bard, harlot, any of these names the one you want?” Leliana is furious now and Neria gets it. No woman wants to be told she isn’t good enough. 

“He is my uncle and I want the best marriage possible for him. With the blight and the civil wars I have a lot of Banns and titles open.” 

“Then you should be happy to fill them with someone you know so well.” Cullen says going back to his dinner. 

“It’s because she is Orlesian, you don’t think the nobility will accept her.” Neria looks at Leliana 

“I was old enough to remember the issues that came up with Isolde.” Alistair admits earnestly. 

“Do not measure us by that woman Alistair, she would be found wanting in any class level.” Leliana's venom is shocking. 

“Hang on, why am I being drug into this?” Neria asks appetite gone with the emotions in the room. 

“I came in here for sympathy, I did not invite him.” Leliana nods her head towards Alistair. 

“Right but throwing a hissy fit in the company you did was not wise either.” Alistair is not giving an inch. 

“Got it, when you get told you can’t marry the love of your life in public you need to have a stiff upper lip and hide the tears.” 

“Well you don’t call the king a pompous asshole and threaten retaliation.” 

“You did not!” Neria is both outraged and amused. Leliana nods her head even as she looks down at the bed not willing to meet anyone’s eyes. 

“Where is Teegan?” Cullen asks done with his plate and gestures at Neria if she is done with hers. 

“I am not sure; I came to Neria I didn’t even see where Teegan went.” 

“Teegan will take a moment to collect himself, get drunk and never bring it up again.” Alistair says. 

“Why would he not fight for us?” Leliana wonders. 

Neria holds up her hand to keep Alistair from answering that. “Hold it. Okay Alistair what is your reasoning behind not accepting Leliana? Was I right about the fact it’s because she is Orlesian or does the peasant part really bug you that much? Okay, let’s try this. She will gain fame fighting against the blight right? She will gain enough to get past the peasant part. She is well known and liked in Redcliffe after saving the town and the rest of the nobles really don’t matter. As you said there will be plenty of titles up for grabs at the end of this.” Neria smiles as she ticks the points off on her fingers. 

“That is why I came in here, thank you Neria.” Leliana is hugging and kissing Neria and she smiles and then looks at Alistair expectantly. 

“Fine I will tell Teegan and Eamon though you will have to wait until after the blight to marry.” Alistair barely gets to say the last part with Leliana hugging and giving him a kiss on the cheek. 

“Oh, thought to persuade the king with your wiles huh?” Teegan says smiling from the door. Alistair blushes and Leliana smiles as she kisses Teegan 

“No, Neria blocked him with logic.” 

“Then the king gives his blessing?” Teegan asks taking Leliana's hand in his. 

“Yes, but it will have to be after the blight.” 

“Understandable.” 

Everyone leaves then and Neria sighs at the dramatics. “You barely ate.” Cullen is kneeling in front of Neria and removing the shackles and then the leg guards. “Do you need the board?” He catches her sigh and looks up as he removes her manacles after replacing her shackles. 

“Yes, too much stimulation today. Too many emotions though I have not had that much fun in weeks.” He puts the manacles back on and hands her the book she has been reading for the past couple of weeks. 

“What would you name her?” It’s a question out of the blue and Neria looks at Cullen in surprise. 

“Don't answer that, I have no idea where that came from.” Neria nods and doesn't answer even when they get ready for bed that night and Cullen thinks she might answer she doesn't.

Riodan returns three days after he left with the worst news possible. “Where is the King?” Riodan is covered in dirt and blood and his group is following him with the same message he has. 

“King Alistair is out in the practice yard with the rest of the companions.” 

“Fine, take me to him. See to the rest of my men when that is done.” Riodan is short with the servant but he doesn't mind, not when he hears what Riodan tells the king. “Denerim, the horde is headed to Denerim and we will not get there in time.” 

Alistair barely catches the blow Sten gives him on his shield and turns to Riodan in disbelief. “No, there is no way they could have known to go there.” Alistair is sheathing his blade and his shield and walking towards Riodan.

“Gather the council; we need to leave in the morning.” Riodan says and shakes his head. 

War Council assembled it takes all of Alistair's discipline to order the troops to march in the morning. When the meeting is done Riodan calls Alistair to him. “Gather Neria and Jowen and meet me in the study. Do not bring anyone who is not a Warden.” 

“You can make Jowen a Warden?” 

“Yes, I have the supplies and with Wynne's help can have it ready in an hour. I already started the process on the way back here I just need a little magic to make it all work.” Alistair nods and goes to find Neria. She is sitting in the library reading a book and Alistair smiles when he realizes Cullen is reading over her shoulder from where he has taken his post. To see them you would never think they were together, both of them pull off the act so smoothly. 

“How do you do that?” 

Neria looks up at him and smiles. “You open the book and you read the words. It's amazing really.” 

Alistair smiles at that. “How do you pretend you don't have feelings for each other in public?” 

“I pretend he's you.” Neria closes the book and looks at Alistair. 

“Years of practice for me actually.” Cullen says and smiles trying to head off the brewing fight. 

“Riodan needs you, me and Jowen in the study in an hour.” 

“We will be there.” Cullen answers. 

“You cannot come, this is Warden business nothing personal Cullen.” 

He arches an eyebrow at that but nods. “Then I will make sure she is there and sufficiently bound to deal with whatever that entails.” 

Neria sighs at that and gets up. Her chains clank at the movement causing both of them to look at her. “Gloves, definitely the waist chain and shackle chain we can put me on the board if you think it's necessary.” All of this is said to Alistair and he wants to lash out at her for the earlier comment. 

“No board, shouldn't be that long of meeting and I can cleanse you if we need to.” Alistair leaves and Cullen glares at Neria. 

“Really?” 

Neria shrugs, “Don't ask me a question you don't want the truth to. I either don't answer them or tell you something you might not want to know.” 

“I know that but you shouldn't have said that. You two have been doing okay.” 

“We will never be okay Cullen, not now not ever. Again I am going into something bound and unable to do a damn thing about it at his behest. This is not going to be good news; this is   
not going to leave me un-scarred. Again I am being hurt at his will and I must submit, always must I submit to the mighty Alistair.” Neria hates it when she is right. 

“Do you know why I wanted Loghain to become a Warden? Did Duncan ever tell you why it is the Grey Wardens that end a blight? Why it must be us who strike the arch-demon dead?”   
Riodan is pacing and Neria would love to but knows the clank of her chains is never a welcome sound when you are trying to make a speech. Alistair is leaning against the table with his hands braced on the edge of it. Neria is sitting in the chair all nice and comfy and utterly terrified. Jowen leans on a book case and they all watch Riodan pace. Jowen survived the Joining much to Alistair's disgust but the blood mage is silent and thoughtful and too damn watchful. 

“No, it never came up and none of the other Wardens would talk about it.” Alistair says when Riodan looks at him. 

“Arch-demons are gods, they are immortal. There were 9 of them in the beginning. Garagos, Beriun, Mrthos, Norian, and the rest have not revealed themselves to us yet. Before the Wardens left to Orlais we were told this god was Feryth. Do not ask me how they know this that is something I do not understand. Dark-spawn are soulless beasts made by the old gods in the Dark City. It is said the horde are the children of the old gods and every once in a while there is a dark-spawn born that can contain an old god's soul. Those are the arch-demons. When the Warden kills the arch-demon the soul of the demon possesses the Warden and kills them. This is a task that is given to the most senior Wardens, those close to their Calling.” 

“What is that exactly?” Jowen asks trembling all over. 

“When you become a Warden, the taint it changes you. You become connected to the dark-spawn and can hear their thoughts and motivations. Children are hard to have if not impossible. Also there is a time limit on how long your body can deal with the taint; it is usually about 30 years. Some live longer, some not so much. When you cannot shut the dreams up you go to the Deep Roads. Usually there is a ceremony and a pretty good send off. You die in battle against the dark-spawn.” Riodan looks at the three Wardens and smiles. “I will kill the demon if it is possible but we will need a backup plan.” 

“I will do it.” Alistair says and Neria shakes her head no. 

“I will do it Riodan; I will take the blow if it is needed. Alistair you are too valuable, we have fought too hard to get you here for you to throw it away.” 

“Welcome to the Wardens Jowen.” Alistair says bitterly looking at the mage who is deathly pale. 

“What if I had refused the Joining?” Jowen asks quietly looking at the other three. 

“I would have killed you.” Riodan says it like it is nothing to kill the man in front of him. 

“You will be at that battle Jowen, make no mistake if you think to flee now I will hunt you until the end of my days.” Alistair glares at the mage. 

“I will fight Alistair, never doubt I will. I swore I would help in exchange for my life and I meant it. Are we done?” Jowen is recovering and Riodan nods as the rest of them leave Riodan blocks Neria from leaving. 

“You will need to keep him safe. He will play the martyr.” 

“I want a statue, chains and all built for me.” Riodan chuckles at that and Neria leaves to find Cullen. Cullen is in their room but so is Morrigan. Morrigan is pacing by the fireplace in the room and Neria waves a hand and flames leap from the wood inside making Morrigan jumps a bit. 

“We need to talk Neria, send your Templar away.” Morrigan is sad and distant and Neria shivers slightly. Cullen approaches and takes the gloves off and the chains. Morrigan waits for Neria to be in shackles and manacles with no chains. 

“He will hear what you say now or I will tell him later, either does not matter to me.” Neria needs Cullen, needs his arms for she is cold so very cold. Neria goes closer to the flames and takes a seat in one of the chairs. Cullen is leaning against the fireplace hand braced on the mantle his posture one of readiness. 

“I know what Riodan told you. It was why mother sent me with you.” Morrigan is blunt and to the point and Neria draws a breath in. “But I know a way for you not to die, I know a way to make sure all the Wardens live past this blight.” 

Cullen looks at Neria and strides over to her lacing his fingers with hers. “What is she talking about Neria?” True fear is etched into his beloved face and it galls Neria to see it there. 

“I am talking about the fact whomever the warden is that makes the final blow forfeits their life to the old god. I have a way out though, you may not like it.” Morrigan says and then proceeds. 

“A child, you want me to convince Alistair to lay with you and you will conceive a child and the soul of the arch-demon will go to that instead of the Warden?” Neria is furious. “Never. I will not place that child in Flemeth's reach. I killed her for you and you saw her dead dragon body and you still claim Flemeth lives. I cannot risk putting an heir to the throne in your hands Morrigan. Oh Maker, Elissa!” Neria is up and covered in flames and Cullen is trying to settle her down. “Bring her.” Neria demands racing down the hall and Cullen grabs Morrigan and drags her with him. 

When she would cast he cleanses her. “I have plenty of metal to bind you witch do not even try it.” 

“Alistair, open up now.” Neria is banging on the door and setting it on fire in the process. 

“Dammit Neria control!” Alistair opens the door and then grabs water and douses the door. He is in pants and shirt, not ready for bed then. 

Neria sighs in relief. “Where is Elissa?” 

“Here, what is this about?” Elissa is furious and not dressed for company. 

“You can't lay with her until after the demon is dead.” Neria says it in a rush and Alistair looks at Neria even as Neria is walking towards Elissa trying to find out if she is pregnant all ready. 

“No, good.” Neria is trying to settle her magic and failing. 

“Neria, get away from her this moment or I swear I will smite you.” Alistair is furious and confused. 

“Tell him Morrigan; tell him what you want to do.” Neria glares at Morrigan

“You have already declined, I do not see why.” 

“Tell him or I will freeze that cold thing in your chest called a heart to match what you planned.” Neria clenches a fist covered in ice. 

“You can do that?” Elissa asks in awe. 

“Yes, I can actually I can do lots of horrible and interesting things with magic usually without even trying dammit the carpet is on fire.” Neria is dousing it with water when Alistair picks   
her up and takes her over to the tub and puts her in it. 

“Fill it up and stay there.” He has already gritted his teeth against the burns on his chest that has ruined his shirt. 

“Dammit Alistair, why do you always grab me?” 

“You hurt him!” Elissa already has her hands on him though there is smooth skin under her hands. 

“Already healed Elissa, though I am not always so generous with others.” 

Morrigan says what her plan is and Alistair is shaking his head no. “You could do it.” All eyes turn to Elissa and then Neria. “You've already carried to term, you are a mage you can carry the child.” 

“I can't with Alistair, that, no Elissa. Alistair please don't ask this of me. I can't.” Neria has sat in the water and is rocking splashing water that freezes on contact with the floor while the rest of her is in flames. 

“It wouldn't have to be Alistair, Cullen could be the father.” 

“You don't understand Elissa. If I lived I would be going to Aeonar. If I carried to term that child would be born in Aeonar, it would be taken and it would be raised by the Chantry. It would be an amazing weapon for them. My magic is extremely volatile on the best of days add in pregnancy hormones and it is a miracle any of us are alive. I am also a lot stronger than the last time I got pregnant.” 

“It could be raised as Alistair's heir.” Morrigan says in the quiet. 

“To stand in the way of any children you do have. No, I will not do this. I am sorry Alistair, unless there is a way to safeguard the child not be raised by the Chantry or stand in the way of your children I would never agree to this.” Cullen shakes his head no. 

“You want a child with me? I was raised in the Tower Cullen; I know what happens to Templars who have children.” Neria says looking surprised at him. 

“You would live.” Is his quiet reply and Neria knows he is right. It is a tempting offer. 

“We could hide you until you had the child.” Elissa is desperate to make sure Alistair lives and Neria gets it. 

“No. I will take the final blow, or Riodan will we are done discussing this. Elissa you do not want an old god growing in you don't even think about it. If you lived past the delivery that child would be magic which means heir to the throne or not it belongs to the Chantry.” Neria is breathing her magic away and Cullen is casting cleanse after cleanse on her. 

“Nobility would tolerate a bastard on the throne but they won't tolerate a mage. Too close to what happened in Tevinter.” Alistair shakes his head no. 

“So no one is taking the offer?” Morrigan asks sadly. 

“No, we are not.” Alistair crosses his arms to glare at Morrigan. 

“You have until the night before the battle to change your mind.” Morrigan walks out.


	32. Bargains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “My poor girl, maker what have we done to you?” Leliana

Alistair's dreams that night are horrible. They start with the first time Neria and he kiss to the flames that caused. Duncan is shown falling to the Ogre and then to him and the dark-spawn call to him. Taunt him with the cities they are burning and the women and children they are killing. It ends with Neria riding him her hair spread out over them both and then her growing with his child inside of her. Alistair sits up in bed and glances over at Elissa; her pillow is damp with the tears she swore she wasn't crying. Putting on his pants and boots Alistair walks out of the room and down to Neria's room. Quiet conversation along with the clang of her chains and Alistair is in the room. Neria is on the board thrashing in the chains and Cullen is trying to calm her down. 

“Get them off, get them off they burn please get them off!” Neria is in her shift on the board and the more she thrashes the more the chains bite into her skin which makes her thrash more. “Alistair, I saw him die he can't die please Cullen make sure he is okay.” 

“I will not leave you, it was a dream calm down Neria. I cannot take you off the board and you know it. Your magic is surging and if I take even one chain off you will blow us all up.” Cullen is in his pants and nothing else trying to soothe her and failing at it. 

“Neria, I am okay. It was a dream; calm yourself you will end up hurting yourself if you keep this up.” Alistair is there but Neria is beyond hearing them as she continues to fight the chains and the chains fight her.

“What in the Maker is going on in here?” Teegan and Leliana are there and Teegan takes one look at Neria on the board and turns on Cullen and Alistair. “Release her this instant. This is barbaric; you will release her this moment.” 

“Teegan, they can't. You must leave, she will not like that you saw this. Please I will explain later, leave now Teegan” Leliana is pushing him out and goes to sit with Neria on the bed. 

“Careful!” Cullen's warning is too late as Neria manages to break one of the chains and hits Leliana with it. Alistair is grabbing the chain and holding Neria down at the same time. 

“Get off, get off, you will not have me Templar. Cullen, Travis, Fenrik, please where are you? Please save me. Please. Not again, please not again I can't.” 

“Neria, Neria, come back to me. Please, I am here Neria. Cullen is here I won't let them hurt you.” Cullen is stroking her cheek even as Alistair puts the chain back with another bolt. 

Leliana has tears going down her face and is shaking her head. “My poor girl, maker what have we done to you?” Leliana sees the raised and blistered skin in sores along her skin. Alistair eases off Neria sure she is done thrashing for the moment. “There petite, you are okay Blue skies, fluffy clouds.” Leliana pitches her voice to Travis' timbre and Neria smiles looking up at Leliana 

“You do a decent impression of him Leliana It was him who came that day. Fenrik was hurt and Cullen was elsewhere. It was the first time I had ever seen any of my guards without their armor on. It was interesting; it was Travis' day off. So he showed up in his leather pants and a tunic. Bad dreams Alistair?” Neria turns her head to find Alistair who steps into her line of sight. 

“Yes, and you tend to go a little bezerk for yours so I thought I would check on you.” 

“Leliana, I am fine. I thank you for your concern and your help.” Leliana nods and leaves. “You want me to take the deal.” Neria says and Alistair draws closer to Neria and reaches out to touch her knowing she will flinch and she does. 

“I can't let you die for me. I couldn't live with that and we both hope Riodan will come through but neither of us are betting on him.” 

“I've already made my views clear on this Alistair. I won't be party to this.” Cullen is sitting on the bed with Neria. 

“You would rather watch her die? You would rather watch me die and this land dive right back into the civil war we just barely stopped?” 

“No.” 

“You would rather give my child to Morrigan and hope it doesn't come to haunt me in 15 or 20 years? Again causing civil war if I have any children of my own? Morrigan is very powerful even with my stunted abilities I know that. Add in an old god and that child would be nearly unstoppable.” Alistair shakes his head looking at Neria and then at Cullen again. 

“We can't control Neria's magic, do you think we'll be able to control an old god child combined with her power?” Cullen counters. 

Alistair is pacing and Neria is frustrated she can't see him. “Either prop me up, stop the pacing and stand where I can see you or take me off this board so we can have a real conversation about this.” 

Cullen and Alistair prop her up on the wall so she can see the room. “Okay, so let's talk this through. We all agree Morrigan is not happening.” Both Cullen and Alistair nod. “Cullen, any ideas how to hide me through another pregnancy and then the resulting child?” 

“Anders.” Alistair says suddenly. 

“I'm sorry what?” Cullen says. 

“He can hide her for the pregnancy and he can hide the child. He can hide her indefinitely can't he?” Alistair says thoughtfully though slightly excited. 

“Can you locate him?” Cullen asks Neria and she hesitates. 

“Jowen can.” She finally says. 

“Get him.” Cullen says to Alistair and he leaves. 

“You can tell him no.” Cullen offers in the silence and Neria shakes her head no. 

“No more than you can. We cannot lose him, you cannot lose me. It will be yours, I cannot bare his touch.” 

“Do not ask me to give up our child Neria; please don't do this to me.” 

“Either I die, or I never see the light of day again. Either way you lose me, at least this way there is a part of us that will live on.” 

“Why, why did you choose Jowen over me?” Cullen is trying to wrap his head around this.

“Don't Cullen, if I had stayed in that Tower I would have been sent to Aeonar. I would have killed another Templar and it could have been you. There never would have been us if I had stayed in that Tower.” Neria answers and Cullen can't answer as Alistair is back with Jowen who looks   
confused. 

“In my jewelry box there is a false bottom with a latch on the left side.” Jowen goes to get the box she is talking about and smiles as he finds the latch. “It's the one you got me for Feast Day.” Neria says smiling as Jowen handles the box carefully. 

“Clever girl to hide that from me.” Cullen admits. 

“Why do you have vials of blood in your jewelry box?” Alistair is a bit concerned. 

“Jowen don't touch the bottles, they are mage metal. Alistair take out the one with the A on it.” 

“You are not a blood mage, I would know it.” Cullen says looking at Neria in alarm. 

“No I am not. But Anders tried to talk me into leaving with him on more than one occasion and told me I could find one that could track him with the blood.” 

“They could do far worse with it Neria. Neither of you understand how this works. Not only can I track Anders, I can cast a summoning spell that would compel him to get to me or he will die. I could also use it to control him and therefore you. Do not dabble where you do not know.” Jowen is angry and afraid. 

“Could you actually teleport him?” Neria asks curious. 

“No, maybe if I was a spirit mage but not with my skill set or with yours, you can have all the power you want but you can't cast or control a spell you don't know.” Jowen has taken a towel to hold the bottle in his hand. 

“Use my blood, we need him here Jowen and we both know you are not powerful enough.” 

“No. Neria, this is not a good idea. Stop this whole thing. We will figure something out.” Alistair is truly afraid for her and Neria thanks him for that. 

“It will be fine.” Neria says as Jowen crosses to her with his blade out. 

“You will not touch her with the same blade you use on yourself Jowen.” Cullen draws his knife and slicing a shallow cut on her wrist. Jowen blots at the blood with the towel and then tips some of the blood out of the bottle into a bowl. 

“Walk us through this Jowen, talk it out with us.” Neria demands as Jowen paces off a circle and uses his blood to draw a circle on the floor. 

“Binding spell to keep the demon I make this deal with in the fade words to summon the demon and offer of my blood only to appease him. Then I channel Neria's magic with her blood and ask for Anders to come to me.” He starts the spell for the demon and grimaces as the shade appears. Cullen draws his blade and Alistair tries but finds no blade to pull on his back and settles for his dagger. 

“Never bring a dagger to a sword fight Your Majesty.” 

“Now we both know it's not the size of the blade but how you wield it that counts.” Alistair winks at Cullen who smiles at the old pun. Neria groans and rolls her eyes as Jowen is dealing with the shade. Shade leaves and then blood is everywhere and Jowen is in the middle of the circle on his knees. 

“It's done, he was not far from here. He will be here by dawn. Care to tell me why you would need Anders?” 

“No, the less you know the better Jowen, trust me on this.” Neria says as Jowen throws the towel with Neria's blood into the fire and watching it burn. Anders' blood is disposed of the same way and the bowl shattered and disposed of as well. 

“Then you do not need me anymore.” He leaves and Neria looks at Cullen and Alistair. 

“We will discuss our options with Anders and then only if he agrees will we speak with Morrigan.” Cullen says. 

“We all need sleep; we are leaving in the morning.” Alistair has his hands on hips. 

“I will wait for Anders.” Cullen offers and Alistair nods and helps him move Neria to the bed again. Neria fights to stay awake as Cullen sits in a chair by the bed his hand on her arm. Neria drifts off soon though and Cullen smiles as she looks so tiny on the board and he grits his teeth as he sees the blisters and burns from the chains. He cannot bare to lose her, cannot bear the thought of letting their child go. He knows she will go to Aeonar, she won't accept being bound for the rest of her life. She is right, there is no way he is not going to lose her and there is nothing he can do about it. Clenching his teeth, he is not ashamed of the hot tears that chase down his cheek. 

He must have dozed off for a moment because soon it is dawn and Cullen sees Anders on the bed with Neria his hand on her arm asleep as well. When he moves though Anders is awake and in protect mode in an instant. “Why am I here Cullen? What did you do to me?” 

“Jowen summoned you with blood magic. Stay on the bed; you are going to need to sit down for this.” Cullen waves the mage down. 

“You want me to hide her for her entire pregnancy? Do you understand how I control her magic?” Anders asks in disbelief when Cullen is done with the tale. 

“In theory yes but tell me anyways.” Cullen asks, they are both whispering and Neria is blissfully unaware. 

“I channel her excess into the fade, it's a small hole nothing is attracted to since I am not asking for magic I am just sending it in. I can do it in my sleep now but she is so powerful. She told me, about everything. Neria's never been able to keep secrets from me. She is not pregnant now so I am guessing this thing hasn't happened yet.” 

“No, we needed to make sure we could do this, we could control her.” 

“The child will be yours? Can you do that? I might be able to arrange meetings with you on occasion but it will be a mage. With you becoming Knight-Commander I don't think it would be wise.” Anders is thinking this through quickly. 

“She is all I ever wanted, all I ever dreamed of. Now I lose her to death or Aeonar which in some aspects is the same thing. She will be tortured in Aeonar, yet she would rather go there than stay and be bound for her life.” Cullen shakes his head and closing his eyes in frustration and defeat. 

“Death would bring her peace. She would be free of pain, no more chains, no more fear.” 

“We would have a child; a part of her would live on.” Cullen is desperate. 

“She already lost one to the Chantry, do not pretty it up with we will get her back. We both know the reality of that happening no matter how many times Alistair says it in the mirror. No matter how many times Gregor sends messages to the Templars. She is gone. Would you risk another to the same fate? Look at her Cullen; she is bound on a board in so much metal she can't even heal herself. You've seen her scars; you've seen her skin blister when she touches the metal. You would rather bind her like this for the rest of her life? Would you see your child done the same way? Her daughter is Creation but that does not mean this child will be.” Anders indicates Neria’s skin blistered and bruised under the chains. 

“What does she want?” Cullen asks wanting to pace but not wanting to risk waking Neria. 

“You’re the one who shares her bed Cullen, not I. I am no blood mage to summon her thoughts from her head for you to read at your leisure. I do know she will go along with whatever you and Alistair plan for her. She will even accept his touch if it will please you, she will bear this child and she will accept the binding or she will give up the child and accept Aeonar. It will be me holding that child and taking it from her this time instead of Templars but it might as well be either of you.” 

“You go too far Anders.” Cullen hisses and Neria shifts waking up. 

“Anders! Oh Cullen, please let me up. How long have you been here?” Anders smiles at her and kisses her on the forehead and smiles as she rubs against him. “Off, please Cullen.” 

“Settle down Neria, I will have you off here in a moment.” Cullen chuckles at her impatience. Once off the board Anders wraps her up in a hug raining kisses on her forehead and hair. 

“Did he tell you?” Neria asks and Anders pulls back tipping her face to look at him. 

“Yes, but let's eat before we all lose our appetites in the discussion. It was rough travel for me.” Neria nods and rings for a servant. Sending the girl down for food she is not surprised to see Jowen coming towards them. 

“It worked, Anders you are released.” Jowen marks the other mage with an x on the forehead. Anders breathes deeper and shakes his head. 

“Never again am I letting my blood be in possession of a blood mage.” 

Jowen chuckles at that and shakes his head looking at Neria. “Then my work is done how long until we leave?” 

“Three hours tops.” Cullen confirms and Jowen leaves. Serving girl is back and smiles as she lays out the breakfast on the table and bows to leave. 

Once they finish eating Anders looks at Neria. “What do you want to do? Do you truly want to live?” Neria bites her lip and gets up to pace. “He can leave if it will be easier.” Anders says and looks at Cullen along with Neria. 

“No, I will not hide from him. I have never been a coward and I won't start now.” Neria walks over to Cullen and kisses him lightly. Cullen reaches up and cups her head to deepen the kiss before letting her go so she can pace again. Alistair knocks on the door and then comes in standing next   
to the fire munching on a pastry. “I don't know what I want. I accepted my death sentence when Riodan told us someone will die. I am not afraid of death, whatever comes after this must be easier than this.” 

“But you would accept bearing a child so none of us die.” Alistair catches up with the conversation easily. 

“Anders can hide me and the child until it is born, and I could live with being bound like this for the next 28 or 29 years until I go insane and need to go to the deep roads.” She shakes her head no. “I could give the child up and go to Aeonar. Bound, beaten and tortured for the same time though they do not always bind me. I could be free with my magic there. Or I could accept the original death sentence.” 

“In none of those scenarios do you end up with me.” Cullen admits anguished. 

“You are a Templar, chosen to be the next Knight-Commander. Would you give that up to spend your life as my jailer?” 

“I have always been your jailer and will always be your jailer.” Cullen stands in front of Neria and smiling sadly. 

“Could you accept a life of being bound?” Anders asks, it is something one thing she has always been adamant about. 

“You grow stronger daily, there will be a time your magic will be more than the metal that can hold you. What will you do then?” Alistair asks quietly. 

“Pray I am deep in the dark roads surrounded by dark-spawn.” Neria says sadly. 

“There is a chance the old god would take your magic. Oh now don't all look offended I have dropped in on this party. I do not wish to see her die either; she is the closest thing I have ever had to a friend.” Morrigan leans against the window. 

“Jowen.” Cullen says the name like a curse. 

“Only told me you were discussing it, do not blame the boy for keeping me informed. Like do call to like after all.” Morrigan is all powerful seductress and Neria envies the witch with all that pale skin on display. “Allow me to have the child, it would walk out of your lives and never return.” 

Alistair rolls his eyes at that and scoffs out loud. “Not happening witch, I would never lay with you and we both know it.” 

“It would be the easiest solution Alistair and they all know it.” Morrigan says smiling. 

“No, easiest solution is for me to accept my death and be done with this entire madness.” Neria frowns and all except Anders outcry as expected. “You would rather I die?” Neria asks Anders stopping her pacing to look at him. 

Anders wraps her up in his arms wincing as his hand hits her bracers. “You would be free of pain, never to be tortured again or having to worry about Templars catching you. You would never have to worry about blowing up those you love. Or setting fire to the rugs, Alistair if you don't mind?” Alistair stomps the flames out and Anders feels Neria's laugh against his chest. 

“You would be able to hold your child in your arms, be able to watch it take its first steps and say its first words.” Morrigan says and all of the men take a shocked breath and look at the witch. Anders feels the decision, knows Neria will take the bait and Anders says the one thing he thinks might change her mind. 

“When your child asks why you have to sleep on a board and are bound in metal? Will you tell them they will likely be the same way, will you watch as your child is burned trying to hold your hand? Neria, I'm sorry, I have no idea why I said that.” 

She is across the room flames everywhere tears streaming down her face. “Because it's true, I know it's true and I hate it and I wish you both weren't right and I wish I didn't want this. I want this child, I want this chance. I want to live, I want to hold her hand, I want to see her smile and laugh   
and I want to help her master her magic. I don't want to be bound to a board every night for the rest of my life. I want Cullen to have a child, something to remember me by when I am dead or insane.” 

“Neria stop, I do not want this. Our child would be hunted from the moment it was born.” Cullen is shaking his head no. 

“Then kill the demon and then kill the child.” Morrigan offers and Neria looks at the witch incredulously. “What? Then you could go to Aeonar, he could become Knight-Commander and all would be as it was supposed to be.” Morrigan wants to be hated and Neria shakes her head. 

“Do you trust me not to use your child against you later? Would you accept the same terms Morrigan gave you from me? I would raise the child, never to interfere with you or your kingdom” Neria looks at Alistair questioningly. 

“Doesn't matter what the deal is Neria, we both know you won't accept me. I won't stoop as low as the men who forced themselves on you. Not even for my life would I do that.” He walks towards her and watches her try to make herself accept him. He goes to cup her face and she hisses like a cat when she steps back and then forces herself to step to him her fist in flames. Neria is giving herself a pep talk in her mind as Alistair leans down to kiss her. Alistair sees the fear in her eyes, the way her body is stiff trying to stay still and then he is kissing her and she is pushing him away and hiding behind the chair Cullen is sitting in. He automatically reaches out and catches her hand and casts cleanse on it. Alistair sighs and closes his eyes shaking his head. Neria stomps her foot and walks up to Alistair and goes on tiptoe and kisses him on the lips quickly and then retreats. Anders chuckles quietly at the exchange. 

Neria goes to try again and Cullen catches her wrist and stops her. “Enough, I get it Neria. You want the child than you shall have it. But don't force yourself into something you don't want. If this is truly what you want, if you would rather have the child then I will do my best to keep you safe. You will need another Templar to stay with you. Anders cannot handle the metal or bind you. You would need someone else with you.” 

“Then stay with her Cullen.” Anders says bitterly. 

“No, he would be able to protect her as Knight-Commander, if he left the service he couldn't.” Alistair says in the silence and they all look at him. “We would need to fake her death with the Arch-demon. Cullen can likely take a couple of months to deal with the aftermath of the blight away from the tower. In that time we can get her out of here somewhere. What just because you think I am dumb doesn't mean I am? I have a reputation to keep though so don't say anything.” He finishes with a wink. 

“Amaranthe, we can take her there. My family has a house there that I inherited when they passed. There is also no tower there and therefore no Templars.” Cullen stands up to stand in front of Neria. “We need to leave, Morrigan teach her the ritual I need to make some inquiries.” Cullen   
kisses her and goes to leave but stops at the door. “You will need to ride in the wagon on your board. I can have Sten bind you if you like.” Neria nods and watches him leave. 

Sten arrives shortly a squire carrying his chest plate behind him. “You need to be bound Neria?” 

“Yes but I need to heal as well.” She looks to see Alistair still there and nods to him. He approaches as Sten takes one of the manacles off and then her bracer. 

“I will speak with you when we are underway. It will distract you.” Morrigan says and shifts and leaves. Anders watches as Neria is unbound and then rebound in the chains and heals her as well. Sten and Alistair do not speak as she accepts the metal and neither man say a word about her tears or the hiss of her flesh as it connects to the metal. Chain connected from throat to waist to both hands to legs.

Gloves are the last thing put on and it is Alistair that does them though he has to restrain her from pulling out of his grasp saying, “Easy Neria, you will be okay almost done work with me here Neria.” Sten is tipping her chin to look up to him. “Alistair will carry you; I need to get your board. You will accept this without a fight.” Sten says and she slides her eyes away and nods. Alistair helps Sten into his chest piece and leaves to return shortly in his armor. It's Cailan's armor and he looks like a king. Gold plate gleams as it has just been polished. 

“You look like a king.” Neria says smiling as he walks towards her. When she would back away Sten keeps her there with a hand. 

“You will accept this Neria. He will not hurt you, I promise.” Sten orders and Neria nods and Alistair scoops her up without giving her a chance to fight. “I will be happy to see the Golem again. She carries this thing like it is nothing.” Sten grunts as he carries the board down behind Alistair and Neria. 

“I only hope the dark-spawn do not hurt Shale.” Neria is truly worried. 

“I am not sure it’s possible to hurt Shale.” Alistair smiles shaking his head as they get down the stairs. 

“Put me down, I will walk from here.” Neria struggles against Alistair. He puts her down and Anders quickly braids her hair and fixes her robes. 

“Kings first, go you two I will walk with her.” Anders shoos them and Sten nods his appreciation and walks away. 

“At least they didn't carry me out bound to the board.” Neria says lightly. 

“Have they done that before?” 

“Yes, when I was particularly unstable or Alistair or Cullen weren't around to deal with me.” 

“It is not too late to change your mind.” Anders whispers quietly and Neria shakes her head. 

“I want to live Anders; I want to hold my child. Oh but what if Cullen hates me for this?” 

“Not possible Neria, he wants the child as well otherwise he wouldn't have agreed to it. Now out to your adoring public.” Anders opens the door out to the courtyard where the wagon sits. 

None of the men cheer when they see her, they accept she is a mage and that she is a Grey Warden and she has helped them but they do not cheer to see her in chains. Not when they do not understand why she must always be in those chains. Not when another mage walks next to her without any chains on at all. “Are you coming with us?” Neria asks and Anders nods his head yes. 

“To pull this off you will need me, I know there are Templars here. I will stay with the dwarves and the wagon but yes I will be there. I will likely be needed to heal.” 

Neria nods as Sten helps her into the back of the wagon and secures her to the board. “Thank you Sten.” 

“Always Neria, always.” He gets out and Anders gets in and sits down next to Neria's head.


	33. Forced March

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW!!! Rough Sex-Forces restraint you have been warned. 
> 
> “Those are very brave words for a woman who is trembling in fear of me.”-Alistair

Soon they are underway and Neria relaxes as much as she can. Morrigan flies into the back of the wagon after a couple of hours and hisses as her hand connects with the chains. “Want me to heal that?” Neria offers. 

“I can do it, how are you Neria? I am sure these bumps are not doing you any favors.” 

“I’m okay; I hate being bound when we travel. I feel helpless; can you adjust the chain on my right shoulder? It is too loose and keeps bouncing.” Morrigan sees the chain indicated and carefully unbolts it and tightens it and then bolts it. Gloves protect her hands from the worst of the sting but it still does and Anders casts a soothing on it. 

It is a spell only primary healers can learn and Morrigan sighs in relief. “You are a primary healer? How are you not locked up in the tower?” She asks sitting across from him on the bench. 

“I escape on occasion just to liven the tower up a bit.” Anders says with a wink. 

“Oh him I like Neria, this one I would love to keep.” 

“Careful Anders.” Neria says with a wink even as Morrigan chuckles. 

“Are you going to teach me the ritual or are you going to keep teasing Anders?” 

“I can do both actually. It’s a variation on a fertility spell he would probably like to know.” 

“How can you do it if it’s not healing based?” Anders asks when Morrigan explains the ritual. 

“Its old magic, more alchemy and deals with demons than healing.” 

“Potion must be made the night you want to do the ritual though, it does not keep.” Morrigan cautions,” also there is a side effect. It lasts for several hours and while you are under the effects all of the men will want you. They will not be able to control themselves around you, you will need   
to be extremely careful who you are near.” 

“Morrigan.” Neria is afraid now.

“I know that is why I am telling you all of this. I have no idea how it will affect Cullen. It was always the plan for me to use it on Alistair; I could deal with the effects I could deal with this anger. You however, we can still try and convince Alistair.” 

“No, do you think I should try with Alistair that the double taint might attract it more?” Neria asks and Morrigan thinks on this. 

“Maybe.” 

“Neria, don’t. If Alistair does something to you he will never forgive himself.” Anders is against this and shakes his head his blonde hair escaping the confines of ponytail. 

“Neither will Cullen, he’s never hurt me it’s one of the reasons why we work. He’s always been my Knight in shiny armor. I have no bad memories associated with Cullen. I’d rather keep that trend.” Neria muses. 

“At our current pace it will take us a week to get to Denirum. I would do this in the next couple of days to make sure the child has a chance at being developed enough to accept the soul.” Anders says clinically. A tick has developed in his jaw and Neria knows he is worried. 

“Will it affect me the same way as them?” Neria is curious and afraid. 

“No, but I can make you something to loosen your inhibitions.” Morrigan offers. 

“Bad idea with her control issues Morrigan.” Anders shoots that idea down quickly. 

“Cullen and I can deal with that. We have before.” Neria admits blushing fully. “We will do this tonight then, make sure we can get the supplies we need.” Neria decides quickly. 

“Who am I making this for you and Cullen or Alistair?” Morrigan asks curious. 

“You need to give them both a heads up on this if you are really considering Alistair. You will tell him Neria or I will.” Anders threatens when Neria turns her head. 

“Fine, I will get Alistair.” Morrigan says and flies out. Soon the wagon stops for a moment and Alistair gets in. Anders gets up to leave but a whimper from Neria has him sitting back down. 

“Morrigan told me you needed to talk to me. Considering you are literally shaking on your board I am guessing you either want off it or it has something to do with the ritual.” Alistair eyes her critically, adjusts a couple of the chains sending Neria trembling again. 

“Would you let me off the board?” Neria asks cursing the slight hope in her voice. 

“No.” 

Before Neria can plead or otherwise make an issue Anders explains about the ritual, potion and what it will do. 

“Neria, we already had this conversation, I will not force you.” Alistair shakes his head no. 

“Cullen.” Neria pleads. 

“Would have to be there, I cannot control you like he can. I can’t deal with your excess magic and I know Cullen won’t tolerate me being rough with you. Oh that is why you are asking me. You and I already have a fucked up history and this won’t matter either way. You would be bound enough so I could deal with your control. You don’t want the bad memories with Cullen. Did you think about what this will do to your relationship if you and I do this or Cullen and I? As King I have to deal with him on a regular basis. Kinda hard when he wants to kill me for hurting you.” Alistair traces a finger down her face and catches the tears she sheds as she tries to get away from him. 

“I miss when you were naive” Neria says bitterly and Alistair laughs at that. 

“I miss when I could touch you without you flinching. Oh we are stopping for lunch finally.” Alistair stops touching Neria and waits. Cullen comes to the wagon and is surprised to see Alistair there. “She’s fine Cullen; help me get her off the board?” Alistair asks and Cullen nods and pulls Neria towards him causing Neria to shriek. 

“Little warning there Cullen.” He laughs and kisses her upside down. Free from the board Neria gets down from the wagon with Cullen’s help and waits for the blood to rush back to her legs and for them to work. 

Alistair is stringing chains together when another Templar approaches. “I can do that your Majesty, Arl Eamon is probably looking for you.” As the man says this he reaches for Neria’s chains and then reaches for Neria’s neck where the chain will go. Neria steps back and trips over her robes. Templar has already grabbed for her foot and secured it pulling her to him convinced she is trying to escape. 

“Let go of her.” Cullen orders. Templar ignores or can’t hear him from the rattle of the chains and hauls Neria up and is sailing backwards with a stone fist in his chest. 

Neria has undone her manacles and thrown them at the Templar as he flies. “How dare you touch me, who are you that you do not know to leave me be?” 

“Neria, control!” Alistair is roaring at her even as the Templar is on his feet with blade and shield drawn. 

“That is not a Templar Alistair; he would have smited me already. How did he know Arl Eamon would be looking for you?” Neria accuses flames erupting all over her. Cullen and Alistair both look at the Templar in question. “Smite me oh mighty Templar? Let’s see what you got.” Neria casts a fireball and it hits the shield and dissipates. She follows it up with an ice blast and uses the snow to move closer. 

“You will submit mage.” The man says and Neria cocks her head and laughs. 

“Oh little boy, you are going to have to say that with a lot more authority to get it to work on me. Tell me who you are and I might actually heal the damage I do to you.” Templar looks at Cullen and Alistair for help both of them have their arms crossed. 

Cullen looks around and curses when he sees the crowd gathered. “Neria, submit too much of a crowd.” Cullen walks towards her. 

“Why? Scared the mages will see what happens when they stand up to their oppressors?” 

“Anders shut up, and get back in the wagon or I will put you in irons.” Cullen growls crossly. 

“You wouldn’t dare.” Neria comments still watching the Templar in front of her, “He’s a recruit. He doesn’t know the spells yet. I am not submitting to a recruit.” Neria crosses her arms. 

“You will submit when a Templar asks you to mage.” Alistair is furious of the spectacle. 

“Never.” Neria replies automatically to Alistair’s request. She doesn’t see Cullen until he has kicked her knees to make her kneel. 

“Forgive me Neria, but this needs to end. You will submit.” Cullen whispers and Neria nods. Templar walks up and puts her manacles back on. 

“Name is Brent. I am a recruit of the Templars and I do not know who you are.” 

“Warden Commander Neria at your service recruit, I would bow but you seem to like me on my knees.” Brent is red and only hears Commander and is all thumbs with the chains. “Settle down recruit, you need to hook one end of that to my collar and then hook it to my belt which Alistair is holding. Short Chains connect to my manacles and I don’t have to wear the gloves right now because I am supposed to be eating. Shackle chains are already on so no worries there.” 

Cullen has her stand up and takes the waist chain from Alistair who is striding off and puts it on Neria. Brent figures out the rest finally. “Did someone send you to help with me or did you get the bright idea on your own?” Neria asks. 

“I saw His Majesty dealing with a mage with Knight- Captain Cullen and thought to help.” 

“Ah, well Knight-Captain Cullen is the Templar assigned to me. Do they tell the recruits scary stories about the chained mage who can blow up cities?” Brent’s tentative hold on her arm lets her know they do indeed. “I am a primal mage, if you see one without chains you are either dead or going to be shortly.” Neria says and follows Cullen to sit down to eat. Brent’s touch remains light on her arm though he keeps an eye on Anders following them. Once Neria is seated Brent bows saying he needs to return to his unit and leaves. “I’m sorry Cullen, I it’s automatic for me to resist with anyone else.” 

“You need to not do that, it always leads to trouble. You cannot resist when a Templar asks you to submit. I cannot be anything other than a Templar with you. They will take you if they even suspect.” 

“I know Ser Cullen; I will endeavor to be more meek and mild.” Anders laughs at that. 

“You cannot antagonize me either.” Cullen says crossly. Anders puts his hands up in surrender as the rest of the companions come to join them. Wynne is sampling some of Oghren’s new ale and seems to enjoy it. Sten is ever alert though smiles when Morrigan bates her eyes at him. 

“Are we ready to end this?” Wynne asks and everyone agrees. 

“Where is pike twirler?” Oghren asks after Alistair. 

“Being a King.” Neria says and stands up to walk around a bit. “I need to move, you are putting me back on the damn board aren’t you?” 

“Neria, breathe, you are going to set the grass on fire in a minute.” Cullen says and Neria breathes the magic away and accepts Cullen’s cleanse. “Yes we are putting you back on the board. I need to converse with other Templars and get some bearing on the men I am going to be leading.” 

Neria gathers up the used dishes and walks over to the trees to clean them. Cullen follows her and blocks her from view of the camp. “Morrigan taught me the ritual. There are side effects to the potion you are not going to like.” 

“That was why you were talking to Alistair.” Neria can’t look him in the eye. 

“Yes. It might make you aggressive; we both know what a disaster that will be.” 

“What do you want to do?” Cullen asks not touching her. 

“Would you accept his child? Could you raise it as your own? Bruises heal, scars fade but that child will be a constant reminder.” 

“You know I stopped praying to the Maker when I started sleeping with you. I was ashamed of walking with my vows broken around me. Constantly asking for forgiveness is taxing, I shouldn’t have to ask for forgiveness. I should be able to be proud of the man I am and the work I do. I want to make a difference with the mages. I want to help them understand why they must be contained, why they cannot just go about their lives normally. Magic is not a curse or a blessing it just is. But you make me question everything they taught us in the Chantry. We are taught Mages must always submit that magic was meant to serve man not rule over him.” Cullen is looking away from her; Neria can’t gauge his emotions right now. 

“You think I rule over you? I am just a woman in love with a man. A man who told me this morning he did not want to lose me to prison or death. Tell me now that has changed and I will walk to my death or imprisonment. To live I have to bear this child, watch Alistair die or Riodan. Those are the choices for me. Death, Prison or Child, I want to live, I want this child. I want YOUR child, not Alistair’s. Ack, I can’t have this discussion I have to.” Neria is breathing and chanting blue skies fluffy clouds over and over. 

“I would rather bury you than watch you swell with his child knowing he probably had to rape you to get you to submit.” Cullen says quietly looking past her. 

“I would rather be raped than you get rough with me and never be able to have you touch me again. We both know that might happen, you might be fine and you might not. Do you really want to risk me reacting to you like I do to him? How long would we last if every time you reached for me I flinched?” 

“You’ve already decided on him haven’t you?” Cullen says bitterly. 

“No, it will be you. Tonight we will do it, I have already asked Morrigan to make it.” Neria is thinking of a plan, one she knows is risky but better than risking what she has for Cullen. He nods and leads her back to the wagon and gets her back on the board. Alistair comes over to check her chains and put the gloves back on. “Tomorrow Alistair, I have chosen and you will respect the choice.” Alistair looks at her. 

“Are you sure? I cannot imagine Cullen is thrilled with this idea.” His mouth is a firm line as she struggles against him but he easily finishes securing her. 

“Cullen does not know and that is my choice as well. Like you said you need to deal with him. You will not damage me beyond my or Anders’ capability to hide. Cullen will think it’s his and we will leave it like that. Tell me now if that does not suit you.” Neria forces herself to look at Alistair to step close to him. 

“He deserves better.” Alistair retains her arm as he runs a finger down her cheek. 

“We all do. But this is my child and my choice and I am making it.” Neria still struggles from him even once she is on the board. 

“Fine.” Alistair leaves. 

“Morrigan, join me in the wagon?” Neria asks and she nods. “Anders you can ride if you want, I know you don’t like being back here with me.” Anders looks at Neria funny but nods and walks off. “I choose Alistair for the ritual, I cannot risk Cullen. I do however need to you make something for me to drink tonight. Doesn’t have to be anything really just smells like something. I will do the ritual with Alistair tomorrow.” 

“How are you going to keep Cullen occupied for that long?” Morrigan asks slightly surprised. 

“I have no idea.” Neria runs through a dozen plans and discards them all. “I will have to think of something, can I trust you with this Morrigan?” 

“Always, I would not hurt you and I respect your choice.” Morrigan pats her and flies off. 

Camp that night is in the middle of nowhere and Cullen sets up his tent with Neria’s next door. They are well away from the main camp with the companions camped between them and the main army. Neria is already going through the motions of preparing and doing the ritual when Cullen comes back to camp from talking to his Templars. Neria has been bathed and oil rubbed all over her, it tingles slightly. Morrigan did give her a potion to make sure she did not conceive this night which she already drank. Cullen sees Neria laid out on the pallet in just her jewelry and is stripping out of his armor in a rush to get to her. When he is bare he kisses her and mumbles apologies for doubting her. He is careful and kind with her and Neria is thankful Morrigan did not betray her. Their lovemaking is long and slow and Neria is happy beyond belief. “You smell wonderful, thank you for this. I cannot lose you, I will not lose you.” Cullen murmurs and Neria kisses him tenderly. Guilt makes her silent though she is vocal enough in their lovemaking and more than satisfied. 

“Come up with a plan to keep him occupied yet?” Alistair asks after lunch the next day. Cullen was careful not to allow anyone near her and Neria smiles at his protectiveness. 

“No oh mighty King do you have one?” Neria steps away from him when he comes towards her. 

“I do, it will keep him away all night and part of the next day. He will have to entrust you to other Templars who will secure you for the night and then leave.” 

“What did you do?” Neria is suspicious. 

“Don’t worry he will be safe.” Alistair says winking and then running a hand down Neria’s arm which she moves. “Morrigan come up with a way to deal with that? I truly do not want to hurt you, I will not force you.” 

“She did, with all hopes I will be as easy as a Pearl Whore.” Neria taunts back flatly. Alistair wrangles her back on the board and both of them are slightly flushed from the fight. 

“Never Neria, you are an amazing woman to know, pain in the ass but amazing.” He leaves and Neria falls into a fitful doze until nightfall. 

Cullen does not release her from the board but pulls the entire board closer to him. “Neria, you are going to have to stay bound. Something has come up that I need to deal with. I will catch up to you though.” 

“Who are you entrusting me to? I cannot stay on this board indefinitely.” 

“Ser Harrison and Nigel will be your guards. Promise to behave.” Cullen doesn’t touch her and she is afraid. 

“Cullen.” Neria says struggling on the board. 

“Neria, you will submit. You are sleeping in Alistair’s tent. It’s the only thing I can do.” Neria curses knowing Nigel and Harrison are there for this exchange. 

“I will submit.” Neria is true to her word as the two faceless Templars make sure she eats and then put her back on the board for bed. Alistair’s tent is a monstrous thing with a full table and chairs and everything. His bed is a real bed compared to the pallet the rest of them sleep on. When she is secured for the night to their satisfaction they leave and say to call them in the morning if they are needed. Alistair nods and dismisses them. Morrigan flies in and makes the circle on the ground around the bed. Once Neria is loose she helps the witch with the ritual while Alistair watches drinking enough to hopefully make him amenable to this. Morrigan has already given Neria the potion and she can feel the effects on her as she becomes aware of Alistair and everything about him. 

Alistair leans on the table and watches Neria, she is in her shift and long shapely legs walk to and fro around the circle like a dancer. Her feet are tiny enough to fit into his hand and he aches to massage them. Long graceful fingers each with a ring on them casts a spell on the circle when Morrigan says to. Morrigan helps Neria out of the shift and begins rubbing the oil into Neria’s skin. Alistair watches how Neria watches him heat in her cheeks. He walks forward to cup her face, he has to touch her. She does flinch but he catches her anyways and kisses her. “Easy there Chantry boy, you need to bind her or she will set this entire place on fire.” Morrigan pushes him away and he shakes his head. He takes Neria’s hand and pulls her to the table and puts her shackles on without the chain. “Waist chain, manacles with chains should be good. I will be here to drain her when needed.” 

“You will be here?” Alistair is wary of this. 

“Yes, to pull this off I will have to drain her. We’d have to fully bind her to keep her in your power range and that won’t be conducive to baby making.” Morrigan says rubbing Neria’s nipples and making her moan. Neria hisses as the chain is on her waist and the chains are on her hands both stinging her bare flesh. 

Alistair is done waiting for chains and oils and backs Neria against the table and kisses her. He can see the fear in her eyes, feels the stiffness in her body as his hands roam over her. He wants to own Neria, wants her on her knees before him submitting to him and fights the impulse fights to go slow with her though he does pick her up and wraps her legs around his waist groaning as his erection is so close but still contained by his pants. Carrying her to the bed he lays her on it and traces a hand from face to feet, taking one and massaging it. “You have such dainty feet, so tiny they fit in my hand.” 

Neria is trying to relax, willing the oil to work on her. Kissing her foot he works kisses up her leg massaging one and then the other until he gets to juncture of her womanhood. She is weeping for him and he bends his head to lick and is rewarded with a moan. Neria is on the edge of terror as Alistair licks and tries to get her to relax even as his hands massage her breasts she is not reacting to him. He knows, as inexperienced as Alistair is he knows she is not accepting him. “Shh Neria, pretend I am him if you must. It’s Cullen claiming you as his. I will not force you, relax for me.” 

“No. You deserve better than that Alistair. This is your child we are making and I will accept you.” Neria wills herself to look at him to accept him. 

“Those are very brave words for a woman who is trembling in fear of me.” He captures her mouth and pulls her up to him. “Maker’s mercy I want to be gentle but I must have you now.” 

“No, too fast too fast stop!” Alistair has her thighs open and she is scrambling to the head of the bed warding him off with a hand. 

“Submit Neria, Cullen told you to submit.” Morrigan’s voice is cold and commanding and Neria bows her head. Alistair tips her head up and kisses her and she is on her knees kissing him and pushes him back onto his hands and back. When he reaches up to touch her she flinches but makes herself stay put. 

Neria straddles him putting his cock to rub in front of her. Neria slides up and down teasing him and Alistair groans in frustration. Using her hand she finally allows herself to slide onto him all the way causing them both to groan. Neria takes a slow ride allowing herself to stretch for Alistair while he is trying to keep from dominating her. Soon though his hand is on her bottom and he is thrusting from below enjoying her mews of delight. He is kissing her again and she is putty in his hands as she hits her first orgasm and he fights to not follow her casting cleanse and feeling Morrigan’s drain hit her. Maneuvering to his knees and then placing her on her back he is setting a faster pace. It is still not as fast as he wants but he is refusing to scare her. “Faster Alistair, come for me.” Neria pants and he does pounding into her. He is able to catch a couple of breaths before he is hard again and he looks over at Morrigan. 

“It’s a fertility potion Alistair; it will make you crave her for the entire time she is under the effect. You will not be able to get enough of her.” Morrigan says enjoying the show. Over and over Alistair empties into Neria and over and over Neria orgasms but Alistair is becoming rougher. Setting Neria on her back Alistair gets her chains and puts them on her. Once satisfied she is secure he twists to make them come together and then knots them and hooks them to the bed frame and pulls her to him when she would back up making pain radiate up her shoulders. When she is far enough to him he is in here and pounding. “Alistair, stop ouch, stop!” Neria is fighting him though he doesn’t even register the kicks or the curses. Morrigan knocks him in the head with her staff. 

“Stop!” Alistair is furious and goes to attack Morrigan. 

“Alistair, you would leave me unattended for her?” Neria’s voice is rough with use and lack of water and she sounds far sexier than she feels. It is enough though to get Alistair back to her though he flips her over and takes her from behind. 

Eventually its morning and Morrigan has to get the two away from each other. “Alistair, we need to get moving. She needs to heal and be put back on the board.” 

Alistair shakes his head trying to break free of the effect of the potion and finally puts a hand over his face to block the sight of Neria for a moment. It’s enough to bring some senses to him. “Right, clean her up. I am going to clean up as well. I’ll get Bodan to bring the wagon over here and we can put her board in and then load her and strap her to the board. I can’t have the Templars near her, I am not sure I can handle it.” 

“I swear it will wear off Alistair, just help me get her bound and into the wagon and you can ride and she can sleep.” Morrigan is still wary of Alistair, this is a man that is still very angry. 

“That works, maker did I do that to her?” Alistair is looking at the hand prints, the bruises, the bite marks all over Neria. 

“Don’t look at her you will want her again Alistair. You need to clean up and get out of here.” Morrigan is pleading with Alistair and trying to not wake an exhausted Neria. Morrigan casts rejuvenate and a minor heal on Alistair who finally walks out. It’s all she can do as she helps Neria up and over to the water to wash up. 

Neria is casting heal after heal on herself. “I can’t do more, maker I am sore. Anders?” 

“Male, won’t be able to be near you.” Morrigan shakes her head no at the suggestion. 

“If Alistair could control himself so can Anders, I cannot let Cullen see me like this and I can’t heal fully bound.” Morrigan nods and leaves Neria sitting in a chair washing herself as she goes to find Anders. 

Anders swears luridly and colorfully and then really wants to kiss Neria and does. “Stop, heal her not kiss her.” Morrigan shakes her head as Anders steps away and heals Neria. 

“Why would you allow this Neria? I thought Cullen had agreed.” Anders reaches out to caress her again and having Morrigan block him. 

“Do you think I would allow Cullen to touch me after he did this to me?” Neria indicates the fading bruising. 

“If he finds out he won’t want to. Less talk more move it.” Morrigan says hitting Anders’ roving hands with her staff. When she is healed Alistair comes back in to bind her and Neria cannot stop the trembling or fighting him as he binds her. Both of them manage it though with a few raps on the head to keep Alistair from bending her over his table and taking her. Only when she is safely bound in the wagon does Morrigan take a deep breath. 

Cullen returns after lunch and he is hot and sweaty and favoring his right arm. Neria moves towards him trying to cast and being denied and a hand clamps on one arm and then another hand clamps on the other. Her escort and she is forced to her knees in front of Cullen. “Allow me to heal you. Are you okay?” Neria's eyes are down her tone flat. 

“I am fine, who marked you?” Cullen indicates the cut on her cheek. 

“One on the right did when she took too long fetching him food.” Sten is not amused and glowers at both of the men. “He is not dead because she told me you left her in their care. You trusted her with them.” Each of the last five words is enunciated to prove just how furious Sten is. 

“I did, they had explicit instructions not to hurt her. I will deal with them. Neria stay on your knees until I return. Beric, Connor stay with Neria while I have a chat with these two Sten leave it alone.” 

“Cullen.” Neria says pleading. 

“That is Knight-Captain Cullen or Ser Cullen to you mage or have you forgotten that in the last 24 hours?” Cullen hates being this formal with her though his anger at the Templars helps. 

“Ser Cullen, at least allow me to heal you before you leave.” Cullen nods and Neria is pulled up and her gloves removed and her manacles. It's enough to allow for the heal he needs. Secured she is put back on her knees as Cullen leaves with the other two Templars. 

“Maker I hate when they do this to her.” Leliana says quietly to Oghren. 

“She out ranks most of the men in this damn army and she is the one treated like a prisoner.” Oghren grouches. 

“She is a prisoner. Her reprieve from Aeonar lasts only until the blight is done.” Beric casts a glare at Leliana and Oghren. 

“Wait she has to go to prison after this is done? Who decided this crap?” Oghren is furious. 

“Grand Cleric and Knight-Captain Cullen did. His Majesty agreed to it.”Beric answers levelly. 

“Tell ya what Blondie if you want to make a run for it we can handle these guys.” Oghren takes off his blade. 

“Oghren, if you attack these Templars I will be punished for it. Put that blade down, sit down and get drunk.” Neria remains calm. 

Cullen returns and dismisses the other Templars. “Oghren is not happy with her going back to prison. He threatened us.” Beric informs Cullen. 

“Prick and a tattle tale your mother must be very proud.” Oghren comments and Neria is stifling her laughter. 

“Oh you find that funny do you mage?” Conner pushes Neria. With her hands bound in the gloves she cannot catch herself thankfully Beric does. 

“Conner, you watched those other two Templars be reprimanded for hurting her. Do you think you are immune as well?” Beric cuffs the other man on the back of the head. 

“Both of you leave while you are still able please.” Cullen is frowning and pinching his nose in frustration. Both of them do and Cullen takes a deep breath. 

“Sten, I left her in Alistair's care. I chose those guards because I truly thought she would be fine.” 

“Then why is she still on her knees at your feet?” Leliana asks quietly. 

“Stop, all of you. All of you have better things to do than attack each other Cullen can I get a hand here?” Neria asks and Cullen stands her up and tilts her chin to look at him. There are circles under her eyes and where the Templar hit her there is a mark on her cheek. 

“Finally they're gone. Here let me heal you and we can get her healed as well.” Anders walks out of the trees and heals Cullen completely earning a glower from Neria.


	34. Early Start Fantastic Finish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I have a death mage, a blood mage, a primal, an apostate, and a circle mage all using spells freely. Maker please don't let the Knight-Vigilant see this." -Cullen

Neria's gloves are taken off and she is left in just her jewelry and she is rubbing her wrists and is restless. She sits for a game of Wicked Grace with Jowen and Leliana smiling as the bard cheats again and then is up pacing. “What is it Neria?” Sten asks reaching for his blade. 

“I don't know. It's like I have ants running up and down my arms. I can't sit still.” 

“Is it?” That is all Cullen gets to say as he reaches out for her before she has spun on her heels and is headed to the main camp where Alistair is. “Shit.” Cullen says trying to catch up to her. Neria is in a full run before he can grab her and light as a dancer she evades him always out of his reach. Neria comes to a screeching halt in Alistair's tent as he is walking out of it. 

They collide though Alistair catches her easily and then tries to calm her as she is batting his hands away. “Glad to see we are back where we were before. Cullen!” Cullen dashes in hands on knees holding up a finger for a moment while he catches his wind back. “What's up?” Alistair asks Neria when she finally stops fighting him and casting cleanse on her. 

“Do you feel it?” Neria asks looking up at Alistair staying away from him. 

“Yes though I have no idea what it is, if it’s Dark-spawn than I have no idea what kind it is. This tastes different, old.” 

“Arch-Demon.” Riodan says coming into the tent his blade drawn. 

This Arch-demon is a dragon. Neria and Alistair have been seeing him in dreams for months but to be confronted with a full-fledged dragon is another matter. Dark-spawn flood out of the woods as well and fighting is all over the place. Neria races out of the tent with the others as the dragon douses them all in flames. Neria casts a cone of cold to block it and sends it back up into the dragon's mouth. Archers pepper it with arrows as it flies screaming its rage. Neria casts a cone of cold to block the group of dark-spawn headed to them. Alistair is not in his armor though he does wear his leathers. “Protect the King!” Is heard all over and Alistair is looking for Cailan when he realizes it’s him they are coming to protect. 

“Companions to me!” Alistair bellows as he sees the rest of the group headed towards him looking for him. Leliana is shooting arrow after arrow while Sten is literally cutting a path through the dark-spawn to them. 

“Oh look it wants to play again.” Neria runs forward away from the group to catch the fireball headed to them. Fighting seems to pause as the men watch her catch the fireball and throw it right back at the dragon laughing merrily as she has the roots of the earth grab another group of the monsters. Her fists are balled and she is fighting hand to hand with a group when Cullen pulls her out of range of the blades. 

“You can't even hold a dagger if I give it to you can you?” He yells using his sword to keep them off her. 

“No, I will get with Anders and see if he can heal my hands again. We might think to put leather gloves on me first and then those. Ooaf.” Neria flies back as a Hurlock hits her with his shoulder. They are on her in a moment and Cullen's stomach drops in fear. 

Zinging lightning through the ones holding her she manages to get through their legs before they fall on her. Leliana helps her to her feet and puts her back against Neria's still firing arrows. “Leliana get down, dragon is coming again.” Neria shoves Leliana out of the way barely in time to be drenched in the flames of the dragon. “If you are going to play with fire, at least have the decency to fight me head to head and stop showing your ass to me!” Neria launches another fireball. Looking back down she is separated from the group again and claps her hands together shooting lightning in all directions and felling those around her. Turning off her bracelet she sees a pack lying by a crate. Crate is in flames but the pack is okay. Grabbing it she is stuffing her bracers in it and smiling at the rush of mana and magic. Catching sight of a group of soldiers needing help she shoots a few ice bolts into them and smiles as the soldiers break apart those that freeze solid. 

Cullen has lost sight of Neria and is trying to concentrate on keeping Alistair protected. Wynne is with them healing as she can with Anders as well. Morrigan has cast a death cloud that spins above a group of dark-spawn and shoots lightning and sleep down from it. He grimaces when one of their soldier's gets shot by it and casts cleanse on the man. Sten is keeping a wide berth around Morrigan to keep her and Jowen safe who is using blood magic freely. Maker help him he hopes the Templars are not watching this. He hears cheers go up and a chant of chained mage and nudging Alistair they head that direction. Soon though the fighting is stopped and he is allowed to look for Neria in earnest. “Find her and bring her back here, we can round our mages up and cleanse them.” Alistair orders while other nobles run up to him. He is barking orders and so is Sten, those men he trained with in Redcliffe automatically looking to him for instructions. 

Cullen finds Neria with the Templars. They take no time rounding up their mages to do the same thing he is trying to do which is cleanse the left over magic from them and make sure they are not injured. Neria is not wearing her bracers, and as a Templar tries to corral her with the other mages many of the soldiers are speaking out against the rough handling. “Leave her be Templar. That is the Chained Mage and you shouldn't be touching her.” One of them say and Cullen frowns at this. 

“She is a mage same as the others and they need to be cleansed.” Templar is shaking Neria and she is holding her side blood dripping freely. 

“She needs to heal, she is hurt. Let her go!” Now the men are pressing the Templars and Cullen walks faster. If they start to fight Neria will blow them all up. She needs to be bound pronto. 

“Knight-Captain Cullen.” Brent runs up to him and Cullen waves the kid off then thinks better of it and pulls him close. 

“Stay close please.” Brent nods and Cullen approaches the other Templar. “Unhand her please; I will take care of her.” 

“Who is she?” Templar asks waving a hand at Neria as two others hold her. 

“That is the chained mage, you dumb-ass like we've been telling you. Let her go!”One of the men says and Cullen shakes his head asking for patience. 

“Men! Stop, I appreciate your help but I can handle this. I need you to disperse and start gathering wounded and report to your Commander please.” Cullen dismisses them but they don't budge. “Neria, can you heal yourself?” Cullen asks not approaching the other Templar. 

“He has to let me go, casting cleanse. Smited me, need to get bound soon.” Neria is wavering on the border of consciousness and a magical explosion. 

“Templar this is a direct order to release the Warden Commander Neria this instant.” He does and Neria falls boneless to the ground though she is casting heal on herself and a rejuvenate that allows her to smile at him. 

“Bracers are in my pack and I will turn on my bracelet in a moment. Just a little more mana, there we go.” Neria removes the dirt, grim, and looks like she has stepped out of a shower. Cullen feels the tingle of magic as she heals him as well. 

Cullen binds her and they head back over to the other mages. Leliana has brought her manacles and shackles. “Ugh that is heavy.” She complains when she drops it on the ground and all of the mages jump away from it. 

“Careful with that Leliana, I'd rather not feel that metal today.” Jowen says smiling when he sees Neria and Cullen arrive. Neria sits next to Jowen and holds his hand and links it with Anders who links with Morrigan and Wynne. Neria casts rejuvenation on non mages and then a minor heal on the mages while Wynne casts a greater heal and Anders casts a soothing. It’s a big ball of blue and green magic that has all of them laughing at the feather feeling. Alistair casts cleanse and then Cullen does until they are all purged of leftover magic. 

“You guys ready to do some healing?” Alistair asks the mages and they nod though Morrigan and Jowen shake their head no. 

“You two can come with me to help with the bodies.” Sten says and takes Morrigan and Jowen with him. Leliana and Oghren are looting and trying to put the tent back together. Alistair leads Neria, Cullen, Anders and Wynne to the healing tents and the healers go from bed to bed doing what they can. 

“Did you see her catch that fireball and throw it back? I’ve never seen anything like it now she's healing like it’s nothing.” Various phrases are all said and Alistair smiles. 

Alistair escorts an exhausted Wynne from the tents hours later and goes to catch a few hours’ sleep. “We'll head out mid-morning. We still need to get to Denerim this was not the main horde.” His council nods and disperses to spread the word. 

Anders and Neria finish healing hours after dawn and Cullen has fallen asleep on one of the cots waiting for the two. “Should we wake him? He looks so peaceful.” Anders says smiling. 

Neria nods and shoves the cot with her foot and dances out of range when Cullen comes up full awake and grabbing for his blade. “Neria? Anders?” 

“Yep, can we get some cleanse and back to the wagon I want to sleep.” Neria says. 

“Food would be nice too.”Anders says as his stomach gurgles in protest. 

“I'll eat when I wake up.” Neria waves the thought of food off. 

“You will eat now and again when you wake up.” Cullen says with finality Neria smiles. “You are eating for two you need to eat.” Cullen assures and Neria smiles at him she dares not touch him though he does trace a finger down her spine sending arousal right through her. Neria is rebound and placed back on the board as they get underway. Anders places blankets and pillows between him and the board and sleeps next to her. 

When they arrive in Denerim the entire city is in flames. “We need to clear the gates, I will see if I can figure out how many Generals are in the city.” Riodan is off and Alistair leads the army into the city. It is easier said than done to clear the gates though Neria splits the Companions into groups and pairs them with the armies. Her, Cullen and Oghren fight with the dwarves while Leliana and Jowen have fun with the elves. Morrigan and Sten are with the Redcliffe group while Alistair and Wynne lead the rest. Irving is leading his mages with Gregor and his Templars close with them. Once the gates are clear they regroup. “There are four generals in the city. I suggest seeing if we can't get the Arch-demon to take a stand on the top of Fort Drakkon. It is big enough and has the Ballistas.” Alistair agrees with Riodan's assessment. “I suggest a small group to draw the Arch-demon Commander; we need to take it out immediately.” Riodan says to Neria and she nods. 

“Cullen has to stay with me. Alistair you cannot come with me don't even ask. You need to lead the army.” 

“Fine but you might want to leave Sten or Oghren to lead as well, the men will follow them.” Alistair is pissed and wants to say more but he is out of time and words. 

“Leliana, I want you Anders, Morrigan and Sten with me Wynne, stick to Alistair's side like glue please. Oghren you can lead the men down here and use Jowen as you see fit. I will send Shale.” 

“We can grab her from the estate on the way to the fort.” Sten says nodding. 

“Alistair I want to use the dwarves to clear the general out of the Fort and get to the top.” Neria says pointing where she is talking about.

“Fine, a moment?” Alistair asks indicating for Neria to follow him. Neria nods and walks with him away from the group and when Cullen goes to follow Leliana catches him and shakes her head. 

“Let them say their goodbyes. We all need to.” 

Alistair reaches to touch her and watches her steel herself for it. “We never talked after.” 

“There was nothing to say Alistair. It's done.” Neria doesn’t want this conversation doesn’t want to fix what needs to stay broken.

“Let me know when you settle.” Alistair bites and turns to walk off. 

“I'm sorry Alistair, I'm sorry I can't trust you.” She whispers it and knows he hears her. 

“I'm sorry I can't forgive you. As you said, it's done.” Alistair answers bitterly.

All of the goodbyes are hard though Cullen does not give her one. They said their goodbyes that morning with their bodies and their hearts. For all they plan to live, they all know there is a very good chance they won't. Split up they head into the city and Neria leaves her bracers and her leg guards in her pack. She only wears her bracelet, arm bands and earrings. Even her torque is in the pack though she has her chains with her. It is the most unbound she has been in months and she is reveling in the magic. None of the dwarves are affected by her residue of magic being immune to it. She can heal them though it takes more mana to make it work and her magic enjoys the challenge. Anders is gasping next to her to keep up and smiling the entire time. 

Sten doesn't mind fighting with the dwarves since they are well below his sword range and Morrigan is having far too much fun with her walking bomb spell that showers them all in gore. Clearing to the Estate Neria hears the screams of the swords and the grunts of the men wielding them. Once they are at the Estate Sten launches Leliana up and over the wall so she can open it for them. Getting it open and then closed against the dark-spawn they approach the estate carefully. They are not disappointed when they see men, women and children hiding inside but not dark-spawn. Shale is blocking the door and lets out a mighty bellow when she sees the group. “You have come back!” 

“Yes though it looks like you have things well in hand here.” Neria says smiling. 

“I do but the dark-spawn have moved on. Do you want me to come with you?” Shale asks looking Neria over carefuly. 

“I promised Oghren you would help him. He should be keeping the gate clear with the Redcliffe army.” Neria is casting heals on those injured in the house along with Anders as she speaks. 

“Then I shall go there, do not be squished Neria. It is good to see you again and with less metal.” Neria nods and assures the group they are safe inside rather than fighting in the streets.

Leaving the Estate they fight to the Fort. General there is a mage and Neria grunts as he greets them with a fireball she throws back and follows it up with an ice bolt freezing the thing. Leliana manages to shatter it and they are working on the rest of the dark-spawn. There are four alphas and all of them are determined to stop their group. It is a hard fight and Neria is gasping for air and mana at the end of it. Sitting with the rest for a moment she needs to get up and keep going but she is exhausted and so are the others. “Up, more are coming.” Neria says the monsters grating on her nerves. They clear the fort systematically and raid the supply room for more potions and bandages. They find some of the city guard who join in on the fight and they are on the top level in no time. This level is stuffed with dark-spawn and they are fighting for what seems hours. In the middle of this, surrounded by enemies the Arch-demon screams its rage and lashes out mentally at her. She watches as Riodan runs from one of the roofs to land on the back of the dragon and tries desperately to bring it down. He does manage to rip through one of the wings enough to drop it right on top of Fort Drakkon. It is screaming its rage and Riodan is falling to his death. “NO!” Neria is screaming in frustration and trying to focus on the fight around her. An arrow finds her shoulder and a blade finds her thigh. She is paralyzed in the dragon's rage and pain though she does dodge the blade aimed at her stomach and kills the glen-lock behind it. Finally she is able to get loose from the Dragon's control and glances around to find she is on the floor. 

Cullen is holding her and Anders is removing the arrow and healing her. “Neria? Say something.” Cullen is begging and she speaks slowly. 

“I'm all right; dragon is on the roof we need to move.” She is up and cursing at the twinge of pain before casting heal on herself and a rejuvenate 

On the roof the Arch-demon is trashing its tail sending soldiers everywhere. Flames are everywhere and it is pissed. Neria smiles and walks to face it. “Leliana, take some of the dwarves and get to the Ballistas. Use them as much as you can. Sten, Cullen keep it in the middle so the Ballistas can find their mark but stay out of range of those teeth. Morrigan, cast whatever you want but keep an eye out for more dark-spawn.” 

“What are you going to do?” Anders asks knowing he is going to be staying with Morrigan and healing. 

“Kill a dragon.” Neria smiles turning off her bracelet and slipping her arm bands off. Magic rushes to her and she is glowing with the flames. A ring of ice spirals through the flames and with ice she attacks the Dragon. She sees a halberd as she walks to the dragon and grabs it. With her magic this unbound she has managed to heal her hands enough to wield this with ease. 

Cullen watches her walk away and is in awe. Black boots hug her legs to her thighs; her black robe is slit up the sides and shows the Warden emblem on the chest in silver thread. Her arms are bare all the way up to her shoulders and she has managed to heal most of those scars as well. Her hair is loose and falls in a wave down her back. She is deadly and beautiful and he smiles when she picks up the weapon to do battle. He joins her with Sten and chuckles when the big man whistles in appreciation at Neria. 

“Focus Sten that is not a normal dragon you face. Stop being distracted by the flaming elf.” Morrigan smiles as she says this and casts another frost bolt at the dragon. 

Ballista bolts launch at the dragon and find their marks on occasion. Leliana is running between the things and fixing them when needed and making sure the aim is good on others. Soon more dark-spawn get to the roof and she is shooting arrows at them and keeping them off the ballistas. She is thankful when Oghren shows up with Shale and the Redcliffe army and then the mages show up and things really get interesting. Neria is casting everything she can at the thing and it is still kicking all of their butts. Leliana gasps as she sees Sten slide across the roof and catches himself on a group of dead bodies and charges back in. Cullen is shouting and slashing and so is Oghren. 

Neria casts another ice bolt into the Dragon's mouth and this time actually gets close enough to stab the dragon and cast lightning on it. She drags the blade through the neck and the Dragon is snapping and trying to get to her but she blocks that but is tossed when the head hits her. Getting up she sees her blade still in the thing and then sees a great-sword running to it she grabs it and coats it in ice as she thrusts the blade through the head of the demon. Light explodes everywhere and her leg is in the mouth of the dragon held tightly. She can't get loose and she is looking at Morrigan and Cullen who is being held back by Sten and Morrigan who has cast her barrier spell. This is not how she wanted to die, she is trying to get out of the jaws but she can't and then it all explodes. 

Light shoots up into the air and the dark-spawn start retreating. Alistair is cheering along with the others but is looking at the top of the fort in fear. He is racing for the fort along with the rest of the group and it is too many stairs but finally he is on the top. Anders and Cullen are on their knees in front of the dragon and Alistair knows who is in front of them. Sten is holding his side; Leliana can't even walk her leg at the wrong angle. Oghren is ordering the men to get the wounded help and working with the mages to get healing. Cullen hears his voice and looks at him his face grim. Coming over to the group Alistair sees Neria's leg is trapped in the dragon jaws and she is pale and covered in blood. “She's alive but barely. Baby is in decent shape though the taint is strong; I am guessing that means it worked. We need to get her off of here.” Anders speaks quickly and quietly. 

“No one but us must know she is alive.” Alistair says and Cullen nods. 

“There, leg is out and done bleeding you can carry her now. I need to patch Leliana up and I will be down. Take her to the wagon, Morrigan will keep her under.” Anders casts a rejuvenate on Cullen and runs to Leliana. Cullen places her bracers back on her as well as her leg guards, her chains will have to wait until they are downstairs. 

Shale ends up carrying Neria when Cullen keeps getting approached for Templar things. None stop her as she carries Neria to the wagon and sets her gently inside. Shale places a blanket over her face and stands guard as well wishers come to bid farewell to the chained mage. She is bound on the board, they won't take a chance of her exploding. Rest of the companions are numb with grief. Though Sten knows she is not dead, Anders had approached the man to help him with Neria during her pregnancy. Sten agreed and Anders filled him in on the plan to get her out of Denirum. “They will burn her body; do you have a plan for that?” Sten asked and Anders did not. “I will take care of it.” Therefore when the body of the Chained mage is presented for burning it is enough of a likeness to work. 

“We are here to honor a woman who gave up everything to save this land including her life. She was Neria, circle mage and then Warden and then Warden Commander. Most of you however know her as the Chained Mage. She was the bravest woman I ever met. She would happily face down dragons and dark-spawn all to keep this land safe. It was she who dealt the killing blow on the Arch-demon and she paid for that with her life. I honor her memory and her sacrifice promising to forge a peace between the mages and Templars to help both sides work better together so that no mage must be chained as she was.” Cheers went up everywhere at Alistair’s speech but the Grand Cleric, Gregor, Irving and Cullen. They alone know what this might mean and none of them are happy about it. As the funeral for Neria wraps up Alistair pulls Gregor and Cullen aside. “I know what I said and I meant it. There needs to be better education on both sides to make this right. The atrocities Neria faced shouldn't be done to anyone much less a woman who is dead shortly after her 19th birthday.” Gregor pales at the mention of how young Neria was when she died. 

“I always told her she might burn too bright.” Irving joins the men and is crying openly. “I agree You Majesty, I will help you anyway I can.” Irving continues. Alistair nods and Cullen follows him. 

“Amaranthe is secure, she is a bit uncomfortable but managing.” Alistair lifts an eyebrow at Cullen's statement. “Morning sickness, did she have it last time?” 

“No, it’s how we missed it for so long just her power sky rocketed and her temper went from warm to frosty and back in seconds.” Alistair shrugs. 

“I should be able to travel back and forth easily though there will be a couple of months when I cannot be there. We still need to find another Templar for her.” Cullen says shrugging as they keep walking. 

“Might I suggest Travis?” Gregor says closing the door to the study the men have gone into. 

“Commander.” Cullen spins shocked. 

“I knew she wasn't dead when I saw the body's hand was missing the bracelet. Thankfully I am one of the few that knows she wears it. If you need another Templar I would suggest Travis. I can transfer him to the Amaranthe Chantry to keep an eye on her. That way you won't draw so much suspicion going back and forth though you will likely be transferred to Kirkwall for a time to get more training on leading.” 

“That will not be an easy commute.” Alistair says alarmingly. 

“I can put it off for a few months but not long. Take her with you if you like; she will not stand out in Kirkwall.” Gregor says standing with his hands behind his back. 

“Why would you do this for her?” Cullen asks. 

“She is my daughter in everything but blood. She has my name actually; I gave it to her hoping she would get out of the Tower one day. I named her, I raised her, and I failed her so many times. I will never forget the first time we bound her to a board. I'll never forget her wonder when she cast her first blizzard and coated the nursery in snow. I'll never forget finding her surrounded in bodies broken and bruised and being powerless to comfort her. I swore never again only to find out she's endured so much worse. Neria is a perfect case of how the Chantry and the Templars utterly fail the ones we are sworn to protect. So if she is free and happy than I am happy for her. It will not last and I know it, I know she will end up dead or insane so she should have whatever happiness she can get.” Gregor leaves at that and both King and Templar are speechless. 

Zevran watches the flames lick over the body on the pyre, he let her go but it still hurts. She who burned so bright is now dead her ashes up to the sky. It is long after the ashes have been cleared and Alistair is in his office that Zevran visits him. “You really need to learn to carry something bigger than a dagger with you Your Majesty.” 

“Zevran?” Alistair is surprised and the assassin smiles. 

“There is still a contract out on you Alistair, if I was here for you I would have succeeded.” 

“You’re dead; the elves said you were dead.” Alistair is reeling; debating telling Zevran Neria is not dead, is pregnant with his child and hiding in Amaranthe and decides against it. “We never forgave each other.” Alistair says quietly, knowing Zevran deserves this. 

“What happened?” Zevran asks. 

“In the fade, demon twisted her mind to have me torture her over and over again. Then she leveled Honnoleath in retaliation for you and the child. She fought me every single step of the way across Theades, she was tortured in Drakkon despite me promising she wouldn’t be. It’s my fault she was taken in the first place I should have been with her or at least sent Cullen. Just we did too much damage to each other Zev. I didn’t even get to be with her on top of the Tower, she didn’t want me near the Arch Demon.” Alistair is confessing too much and finally shuts his mouth. 

“You hated her because you needed her; she hated you because you caused her pain. She couldn’t help who she was Alistair, no more than you could help who you are. At least she is at peace now, free from all the pain and the torture.” Zevran says tears tracing down his face and Alistair nods doesn’t trust himself to say anything else.


	35. Bitter Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do with me what you will.” Cullen
> 
> Almost to the end folks...hang in there.

“It was a fantastic service, lots of weeping and mourning.” Cullen comments running a hand down Neria’s arm. Neria takes his hand and puts it on her huge stomach. Her chains clank and her bracelets glow a faint blue. Her furnishings are spare with little to be combustible. Sten lounges nearby his blade not far. Even in this home they are armed. 

“Templars have been sniffing at Anders again. I know it’s me they sense, he cannot always shield me.” Neria confides shakily. 

“I know but there is little I can do. I am running out of time here, they want me to report to Kirkwall by the end of the month.” Neria tenses at this, she is not due for another month. 

“What are you going to do?” Neria asks her fear plain in her voice. 

“I don’t know. I will not miss this; I will welcome our child into the world.” 

“He is active, have you thought of names yet?” Neria leans back against Cullen his hand still on her belly as the child moves and he smiles at this. 

“What about Duncan? I know he was important to you, he brought us together.” Neria shakes her head no, knows Alistair intends to name his son that. 

“Alistair is naming his son that, Elissa is due in four months.” Neria does smile at that. 

“Potion worked on her?” Cullen smiles as well. 

“Anders varied it a bit but yes.” Neria admits nodding. 

“Your statue is coming along nicely as well.” Neria turns her head at this and laughs. 

“What?” Cullen smiles at this unexpected mirth. 

“I said I wanted a statue dedicated to me when I was done with the blight. I am glad someone listened to me.” Neria smiles kissing Cullen lightly. 

“It has chains and everything; your bracers gave the masons hell.” Cullen kisses her quickly. 

“They had the originals to go by should have been easy.” Neria says indicating the bland plain ones she wears now. They are solid except for slots for her bracelets. Cullen had the bracelet made to match her other one and put cleanse spell on it. “If you want a tribute name than he shall be named Gregor. He who has actually given us a chance, I would not even be alive without him.” 

“I like it, we shall name him that. I need to get back, let me know if you need anything.” A kiss and he is gone. 

“You can pretty the chains up anyway you want, but they are still chains.” Sten says after Cullen has left. Neria turns a sad smile on the Qunari. 

“These are not pretty.” Neria indicates the manacles with the chain connecting them. They have strung the chains behind her to connect to her waist at the back giving her more range of motion. Her leg guards are plain as well operate as boots too removing the need to take them off and on. 

“Would you rather be chasing after me with water or blankets all the time?” Neria asks sweetly allowing her hand to flame. 

“No. Though your control this pregnancy is better.” Neria nods, she doesn’t tell Sten her fears. She doesn’t tell him she is getting weaker every day. 

Anders comes in and shortly Travis joins them. Neria is juggling dishes and Travis helps her running a hand down her back and casting cleanse in the process. Eventually Cullen comes back and they eat just like a normal family. Cullen is rigid though and does not touch Neria at all. Once dishes are done and the men are full Neria sits by the hearth and lights it frowning in concentration. “Ready to tell me what is going on?” Cullen asks maneuvering behind her and rubbing her back. 

“Is there any way we can get me out of the city and unbind me for a few hours?” Neria asks and Cullen is shaking his head no before she even finishes the request. Her hair is short now and dyed a brown that while attractive does not fit her at all. “Cullen, If you don’t let me out of this house soon I am going to start blowing things up.” 

“I don’t think you can.” Anders says quietly from the door and walks in standing in front of Neria and laying his hands on her stomach. Cullen is tense behind her watching Anders and his hands as they glow faintly. 

“So what is wrong?” Cullen asks when the glow ends. 

“I need to try something. Please be ready with cleanse. Travis!” Anders calls and the tall Orlesian comes in quickly. “She is fine, need you ready with cleanse I need to try something. No smiting unless necessary and I need a warning to get clear.” Anders makes eye contact with both Templars. Anders let’s go of his channeling spell. Neria’s magic comes rushing back to her and it’s enough to set her glowing before dampening significantly. “Don’t cast cleanse!” Anders says but Cullen and Travis both shake their hands no. Just as the magic is absorbed though Neria gets up flames bursting forth and a snow storm starts above them. 

“Blue skies petite. What is going on?” Travis asks reaching out to Neria only to yank his hand back when he is burned. 

“Neria, control love how are you doing this?” Cullen asks staying away from her and pulling Anders with him. 

“I’m not, this is not me.” Neria shakes her head trying again to gain control of her magic. 

“It’s the baby, this doesn’t taste like her.” Travis is backing away as well. Only Cullen is in his armor and none of them want to smite her. 

“I can’t control this, cleanse me if you can smite me if you have to but I know another surge is going to happen. I can’t control this much magic!” Neria is a bit panicky but trying to stay calm. 

“Think calm thoughts Neria, you need to work this out with the kid. He wants control of your magic you need to deny him.” Anders says confidently. 

“Brave words from a creation mage.” Neria admits shakily. 

“What is he?” Cullen asks casting cleanse on Neria. 

“Not primal, he’s channeling mine. He’s twisting my magic, maybe entropy or spirit?” Neria shrugs gritting her teeth to take her magic back. “Okay kiddo, I get that you want to play but we can’t in the house. I need my magic back and you need to use your own.” Neria says to her stomach and turns her flames to frost. “You are taking me out of the city and unbinding me now Cullen. It’s too much magic.” Neria is walking to the door and all of them are trying to stop her and not get frostbite in the process. 

“Control your magic and we’ll talk about going outside.” Neria glares at Cullen and grits her teeth. 

“You are not my jailer here Cullen. I will not make deals for control.” 

“Don’t Cullen. She used to have to bargain control for food. It didn’t work in Aeonar it’s not going to work now.” Travis is cleansing her and taking her hand. Cullen takes her other hand and between the two of them they manage to get her under control. Sten has already retrieved her chains and board and loaded it into the wagon. Travis changes into his armor while Cullen and Sten bind Neria and put her on the board. She is fighting the chains and is furious of the binding. 

“Stop elf, you want to be free accept the chains long enough for us to get you out of here.” Sten growls at her when he catches one of the chains she pulls from Cullen's grasp.

Out of the city they carry her on her board to an empty field. Cullen and Travis work to unbind her while Sten and Anders stay with the wagon. Neria is out of rational thought, only wants to be free and is undoing the clasps on her manacles as soon as her gloves are off. Bracers drop, guards drop, bands, torque, finally earrings and both of the Templars are moving to the wagon as she turns off and then puts bracelets with the rest of her bindings. Flames, snow, lightning, all erupt in the barricade she surrounds herself with and she laughs merrily as her magic goes crazy. “How long do we have until the Templars come?” Anders asks nervously looking at the display which is clear from the city. 

“I have no idea but it will not be long.” Cullen predicts. Suddenly Neria is on her knees and her fire has turned to ash along with the land around her. Mother and son are fighting control of their magic. Gregor wants to kill the land and Neria is determined to heal it. Gregor is no match for his mother’s strength for her determination and patience. 

Finally he subsides and Neria heals the damage to the land and starts putting her bracelets back on and then her earrings. “He is Spirit, though he has Entropy. He can channel my magic but hopefully he can’t steal it.” 

“Your control is better this time.” Cullen puts the bracers and guards on. Chains are put on and she is loaded onto the board once it’s on the wagon. 

“Not a single Templar?” Anders asks curious. 

“Seems not which is odd.” Cullen says but will take the blessing. 

Neria is bathed in sweat and panting, it is time for the baby but Cullen is not there. Travis is though and he swears again and casts cleanse. “Petite, I need you to not pull the house down on top of us. Stop reaching for your magic, it’s there you are not going to lose it.” He is frustrated and tired. Neria has been in hard labor for over 18 hours and her child is no closer to coming than it was when this started. 

“Where is he?” Neria asks worriedly. 

“Do not wait for him Neria, the longer this goes on the bigger chance I have of losing you both. Bring your son into this world.” Anders is worriedly looking at Travis. Neria makes no sounds through the labor; she didn’t her first time either. Anders casts another soothing and rejuvenate which mostly bounce off because she is so bound. Her magic is all over the place and Anders worries if she gets into real trouble he won’t be able to help her. Neria’s strength is flagging though and she lays back and closes her eyes. “Rest Neria we cannot rush this. If you get the feeling to push do so.” Anders gets up and washes his hands again. Travis wipes her brow and slides behind her so she can rest on his chest. 

“There are people here who should not be.” Sten reaches for his sword and leaves the room closing the door behind him. Neria can hear shouting and the scream of steel. 

Travis is up and holds his blade loosely in his hand. “Unbind me Travis. Unbind me now. I will not let them take this child. I will not be taken alive.” Travis nods and starts undoing her gloves and drops her manacles off. Sten comes crashing through the door at least it is Sten’s body. 

A woman walks over his body and crosses her arms. “Good better you are killed with it still in your belly.” 

Neria casts a fireball at the woman and she lets it dissipate off her arm. It's Mage metal and it covers her entire arm and is banded in her armor. Neria would be impressed if she wasn't fighting for her life right now. “Run, get out of here. Her name is Zevia, tell her that when you find her” Neria yells and uses her barrier to push Anders and Travis out one of the windows. The house is only a couple of stories and there is an awning. “Who are you?” Neria asks from behind her barrier. She is removing the last of her binding, the earrings and trying to hide how she does it. 

“My name is unimportant, what is important is that you’re Knight-Captain asked for a way to be free of his infatuation with a mage. He prayed every day for years and I have come to answer that prayer.” Her chest is emblazoned with the symbol of the Chantry and Neria is truly scared. This is a Seeker, that secret arm of the Chantry that is not even spoken of openly. It is they who hunt the truly dangerous mages and they do not bring them back to towers in chains. She does not wear a helmet. Her blonde hair circled by a metal band that also holds the symbol of the Chantry. She does not smile as her gray eyes take in Neria and the sheen on her forehead. “You thought you were being clever to put that thing in your belly. You were not; I will kill you and it in one blow and will bask in the glow of my Maker knowing I have done right.” 

“Pretty words for a woman who attacks a mage in labor, no matter though, even in labor I will defeat you. You will not have my son bitch.” Neria casts a freeze spell and smiles as it slows the woman. It does not stop her though and Neria cannot get to her feet, cannot stop the scream as the woman plunges her blade into her stomach over and over and then slices her throat. Neria uses the blade Anders had wanted to use to cut the baby's cord into the woman's neck and smiles as the woman bleeds out along with her. There is no magic on earth fast enough to save Neria and she cries wondering why Cullen's prayers were finally answered. 

Anders runs to find Cullen, Travis did not fall correctly breaks his neck and lies dead in the street with a hell of a crowd. He knows Neria is dead, knew she was dead the moment she pushed him out of the window. He has to find Cullen, has to figure out a way to deal with this. He finds Cullen heading out of the market towards him and yanks him into an alley. Cullen draws his blade and pushes Anders against the wall before realizing it is Anders. “Neria?” 

“Seekers, she is dead Cullen. Where have you been?” Anders demands though Cullen is running to the house and is stopped by Seekers at his door. 

“Knight-Captain Cullen?” 

“Yes.” Cullen answers huskily. He can see the damage to the house and knows the upstairs will reveal more horrors. 

“This is your house?” 

“Yes and you are?” Cullen asks the man who is in the gold and silver armor of the Seekers. 

“Honorable Xander, there is quite a mess and you will need to be questioned.” 

“I have not stayed in this house in years; I had no idea there was a problem until one of my men was reported dead.” Cullen says dismissively. He has to get in to see her. 

“There was a pregnant mage, her Qunari protector was with her. She offered resistance and killed Honorable Gilda. She and the child she carried have been killed.” 

“May I see the mage? I might be able to identify who it was.” 

“We know exactly who the mage is and whose child she carried. Your prayers were answered Knight-Captain.” Xander offers cruelly and Cullen debates killing the man. “You are under arrest and will be debriefed shortly.” Xander continues and allows Cullen into the house. 

Neria is on the bed, Gilda is on top of her with the blade still sticking out of her neck. Sten's body partially blocks the door and Cullen realizes the Qunari was killed with a blade to the chest. Gilda's armor is still burning Neria's skin where it touches her and Cullen pulls the body off to truly survey her body. There is no thinking she is sleeping with the gaping wound on her neck and the cuts in her stomach. Tears streak through the blood on her face and this is Cullen's undoing. They told Neria they were answering his prayers. “Even in death she holds power over you.” Xander says stepping over Sten's body and Cullen turns to the man. He cannot draw his blade on this man, this is his own doing. He who broke his vows and dared to question the Maker has been smited the only way that would bring him to heel. 

“Do with me what you will.” Cullen says standing up and walking away from Neria's body.


	36. Race You!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I thought a rescue was needed but you seem to have this well in hand.” Alistair says looking at the Commander and smiling.

Anders lurks only long enough to see Neria’s body burned and to collect the bracelets He will free the mages from the Templars. There is no reason for what happened to Neria to happen to any other mage. He watches as Cullen is clapped in irons and removed from the house by the Seekers and wonders exactly what would be done to the man. How had the Seekers found them? He needs to get to Alistair, knows Alistair must know what has happened here. 

As he leaves Amaranthe he thinks only of the flames that encircled Neria as she was finally and truly free from the pain. He swears he will find her daughter, her daughter will know what kind of woman her mother was. All thoughts of any kind however are knocked out of his head when the pommel of a sword meets his temple roughly. 

Anders wakes up hissing at the hated metal on his hands, they have kept cloth between his hands and the metal though so it’s a sting and not the hissing burn Neria felt. “Back to the Tower with you Anders.” Templars, just Templars face him for the moment. They will not kill him and he sees they are on the road. “We can stop at Vigil’s Keep for the night and then move on in the morning.” one says looking at the others. Vigil’s Keep had been the house of Rendon Howe and his brood. It is a huge keep and after the blight Alistair has given it to the Wardens giving them a base outside Denerim but close enough to help if needed. Anders wonders if the new Commander has arrived yet, rumor had it she is an Andals warrior from Weissiupt the main base of the Wardens. 

Seneschal Varel greets them and allows the Templars to put Anders in the Holding cell in the keep. “There is no room in our dungeons currently. We have prisoners that have agreed to join the Wardens but we still await the arrival of Commander Fiona. Anders laughs at the name and is cuffed by Templar Henry. Henry and Justin are his normal handlers the rest of the unit not even taking the time to introduce themselves as they hide behind their helmets and duty. He is locked in the holding cell and forgotten for the time being.   
There are screams that echo through the keep that wake Anders up. Then Templars are coming through the door and being chased by the one thing he hoped to never see again Dark-spawn. One of the Templars gets his door open but doesn’t manage to get in. Shortly his Templars are killed and he manages to kill the dark-spawn with a few well-placed flames. It’s the only offensive spell he knows and it’s not very clean. As he is finished killing the monsters warrior comes in the Warden symbol emblazoned on her chest. Waves of light brown hair fall to her shoulders and her eyes are the ice blue of the Andals. “Uh, I didn’t do it.” Anders says standing over the bodies of the Templars. 

“What kind of mage are you?” 

“Healer.” 

“Perfect, I’m Fiona, this is Mehril you will come with us. Help me clear the keep and I’ll keep you out of irons. Fair?” Anders thinks for a moment but nods. He casts rejuvenation on them and turns around to start dealing with the dark-spawn overrunning the keep. 

It is a hard series of battles they fight gaining a few more of the Wardens. Anders is casting more healing spells than he has in months. Fiona is a two-hander user and damn good with her blade too. Along with her big blade she also carries two twin blades on her hips she uses with abandon as well. Mehril is a little ghost compared to the prowess of Fiona, she is a shield user and Anders can tell she has never fought anything like what they are dealing with. As they enter the courtyard of the keep there is a large explosion and a laughing dwarf charging off into the keep. Fiona shakes her head and finishes killing those before entering the sleeping quarters. Anders recognizes the red headed dwarf instantly. “Oghren!” He casts heal as he says this and the dwarf waves and heads over to them. 

“You know this dwarf?” Mehril asks with disdain. 

“Yes why?” 

“I want to join the Wardens and this one doesn’t think I am good enough.” Oghren leers at Mehril as he says this and Anders is openly laughing when Mehril crosses her arms and turns her head at him. It is the picture of disdain and even Fiona is laughing a little. Her voice is gravelly and sexy. Those gray eyes Anders had admired earlier are housed in cat eyes that tilt slightly up and she has a smattering of freckles across her nose. Her armor hides her figure well but Anders is sure there are luscious curves under there. “How do you know the dwarf?” Fiona asks Anders again not liking the way the mage is looking at her. 

“Fought in the blight with him at Denerim, he was one of the Companions of the Chained Mage.” 

“Then I would be honored if you joined us Oghren, I am sorry for your loss.” Oghren’s eyes go bright for a moment at the mention of Neria from Fiona. 

“She was an amazing woman Commander, may they never make another one like her.” Oghren says as they head up the stairs to the next floor of the keep. 

More dark-spawn and then Mehril is racing and kneeling next to a man named Roland and crying. “I’m here Roland, I’m sorry we couldn't get here sooner.” Anders does not even try to heal this man; he has moments and is far beyond his skill. 

“There is nothing I can do for him except ease his suffering” Anders says shaking his head at the pleading eyes. 

“Commander Fiona, I am thankful to have met you before I died. There is a talking dark-spawn leading this fight, has the Seneschal with him was headed to the roof.” He expires then and Mehril is devastated.

“We came here together to become Wardens, it’s all he ever wanted to do.” 

“Then he shall have the rights of a Warden Mehril, it’s all we can do for the moment. We need to secure the keep, there will be more to mourn and we will I promise.” Fiona is patting the girl and drawing her away from the body. 

Up on the roof they square off against an emissary and a few Hurlocks before finally meeting the talking dark-spawn. “I’ll be a nug humper; there really is a talking dark-spawn.” Oghren says right before he charges the thing. 

“You will hold.” Fiona says stopping the dwarf indicating the Seneschal is in the dark-spawn’s hands and she has lost too many already. 

“Ah, you must be the Commander. I am thankful for this moment to speak to you. I have message form the Architect, give up now and we will not burn your world again. Give up now and you will be treated fairly.” 

“Not bloody likely!” Oghren throws a dagger that hits the dark-spawn holding the Seneschal in the eye sending it hurtling over the side of the keep.

“As you wish.” All of them watch in horror as the thing grows wings and flies off the roof. Anders sends a few bolts from his staff at it but they glance off uselessly. 

“I thank you for the timely rescue, I am Seneschal Varel. Welcome to Vigil’s Keep.” He executes a formal bow and Fiona nods her head. Mehril introduces Anders and Fiona and Anders points to movement on the road below. 

“It seems we have visitors, let’s hope they are friendlier than the last.” Varel says smiling. Grey traces through his brown hair and he walks a bit stiffly until Anders casts a small heal on him. 

“Thank You Anders. I thought you were a prisoner of the Templars.” 

“I was, Commander Fiona said if I helped she would keep me out of irons.” 

“Let’s greet our guests shall we? Looks like His Majesty is here.” Anders whips his head back to look at the incoming group and grimaces when he sees it is indeed Alistair. He’s not ready to discuss her, not ready for the questions but he knows Neria would want him to know. 

Alistair has his blade drawn when he finds traces of dark-spawn everywhere and the keep in flames. His visit to welcome the wardens is now looking to be a rescue mission when he is greeted by Commander Fiona, Varel, Oghren and Anders he is shocked. “Your Majesty, that is Anders an apostate mage I will take him into custody.” Ser Hannah says. 

“No you will not.” Fiona has blocked the Templars from stepping closer to the mage. 

“You cannot protect him Commander.” Hannah says and Anders grits his teeth. This Templar he has met before, she is a true zealot and has been merciless in her pursuit of him. 

“You are interfering with a Templars sworn duty Commander, you will step aside.”Hannah is persistant. 

“I am conscripting him into the Wardens, you will stand down.” Fiona towers over the other woman and is reaching for her blade. 

“Your majesty?” Hannah appeals to her one ally but is disappointed. 

“I cannot interfere with Conscription Templar; you are out of luck this time.” Hannah is going to say something and thinks better of it and storms off. 

“I thought a rescue was needed but you seem to have this well in hand.” Alistair says looking at the Commander and smiling. 

“Nothing I couldn’t handle though there has been some disturbing developments I would like to discuss with you.” Fiona tilts her head towards the keep in entreaty. 

“Varel, can you accommodate us for the night?” Alistair asks indicating the keep. 

“Yes, the houses have not been damaged, if you would like to refresh yourself I will take you to one you may use.” Varel offers politely. 

“My men can help with cleanup and gathering the wounded.” Alistair disperses his troops. 

“I will set up a clinic in one of the houses.” Anders follows Varel with Alistair. 

“I will come see you when I have a chance.” Alistair knows something is wrong.


	37. Truth Hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THE END!!!!

It is not until late in the night that Alistair finally comes to see Anders in the clinic. There are only four or 5 people in cots since most of the people were killed. “What are you doing here?” Alistair says closing the door to the bedroom Anders has claimed. 

“You need to sit down Alistair; I do not have good news for you.” Alistair complies. “I don’t even have the words, I just don’t. It was horrific.” 

“Tell me all of it.” Alistair demands. 

“She named him Gregor, he was Spirit and Entropy. He was able to channel Neria’s magic on occasion and she was happy. They were happy. She went into labor two weeks ago; she was in hard labor for over 18 hours. None of us knew where Cullen was and none of us could find him. She was still in labor when the Seekers came, 16 men to bring in one mage. When Neria saw Sten’s body come flying through the door she asked Travis to unbind her. Seekers have mage metal actually put in their armor. They are an execution squad; they do not bring mages back to the Tower. They are there to kill them only. A woman led them, when Neria realized what they were she threw Travis and I out of the window with her barrier spell. Travis broke his neck in the fall. I found Cullen, they put him in chains but he did not resist. He was loose when they burned her. They killed the baby and slit her throat, your son never drew breath. I was headed to you when I was captured and this mess happened.” 

“Cullen was free?” Alistair is confused by that. 

“Yes, while at the house one of the Seekers told him his prayers had been answered. He never even retaliated at all, offered no resistance to them; He was not acting like a man who had lost the love of his life. I did grab her bracelets.” Anders hands them to Alistair in a pouch which the king upends and rubs his fingers over the them the faint blue glow showing Irving and Cullen still alive. 

“He wouldn’t. He would take this as a sign from the Maker. I fear for the mages who will deal with him now.” Alistair says quietly handing the bag back to Anders. “I was headed to Amaranthe to check on her myself when we stopped by here. How did the Seekers find her? I thought you channeled her excess magic.” 

“I think Cullen gave her up to them to be honest.” Anders says bitterly. 

“Did she ever tell him?” Alistair is looking for any reason why Cullen would do this to Neria. 

“No, they were happy Alistair. They were talking about relocating to Kirkwall at the end of the month and had bought a house. They were truly happy, I don’t understand it.” Anders is frustrated and hot angry tears trace his cheeks. 

“You know Cullen’s history better than I do; you know how strong he was in his faith. Neria questioned it with her very presence. I never thought he would choose her over his faith.” Alistair says shaking his head. 

“She told me about the time you caught her and him.” Alistair glares at the man. “No secrets Alistair that was our rule. She regretted that night, regretted she couldn’t accept you.” 

“I regret many things Anders about those months; I regret my relationship with her. I once told her I should have left her with Morrigan and done the whole damn thing myself. Part of me still thinks that. That night of the ritual, all I could think was to take out all of my anger on her. I was determined to make her pay for every bad decision she had ever made for the year. Not once did she fight me, not once did she deny me. When we were done she accepted me binding her again. She accepted me putting the chains back on her and still she faced that demon knowing she could still die. Not once did she call me a coward for hiding behind her, not once did she chastise me for my treatment of her. I do not regret that night; I do not regret the ritual or letting her bear my child. She was a child and she deserved better from me, you all did.” Alistair has a tick going in his jaw and crosses his arms pacing. 

“You loved her?” Anders is surprised. 

“No, I was too innocent of the emotion to call what we had love. She was the first woman I ever felt like bedding but no I did not love her, can’t love her. We did too much damage to each other to ever love.” 

Anders laughs at that wiping his tears. “She said the same thing of you. Swore the only two men she ever loved were Cullen and Zevran. What was he like?” 

“Zevran was exactly what she wanted and needed. Both of them had so much pain in their lives they were both looking for someone to distract them and it worked. When he died, I thought she was going to kill us all. She would have killed us if we hadn’t been able to bind her completely.   
Most women grieve, she wanted and got revenge and never regretted it.” Alistair shakes his head no at memories of Honneleath

“Would you? Would you not seek revenge for Elissa?” 

“No not like that I wouldn’t. I am not going to seek revenge for Neria either. I am going to seek revenge for my son though; those seekers had no right to kill that child, my son.” Alistair is crying now and sits back down from his pacing. 

“She didn’t deserve to die either Alistair, not after what she did. She chose to face that demon. She helped unite your damn country, fought to get you the throne and she is not even worth revenge?” Anders goes to put his hands on Alistair and Alistair has him up against the wall in a moment. 

“No, she is not worth revenge, it is what she would do and it would burn everything and everyone in her path until she got it damn the consequences. Damn the innocents. Damn us all until she was sated. I care about the innocents, I care who I hurt and I will not rip apart what she put together.”Alistair releases Anders and goes to stand in the middle of the room trying to come to terms with his grief and his anger. 

“She told me her daughter’s name is Zevia, have you made any headway on that?” 

Alistair shakes his head no. “None of my inquires have been acknowledged, I am afraid they know exactly who that child is. I like the name; it will suit her if she is anything like her parents.” 

“You swore to her.” Anders reminds him. 

“I am well aware of what I swore Anders, I do not have the reach I need to work with Tevinter. I have an entire kingdom to figure out how to rule. Elissa is due in 4 months and I will be lucky if I am there at this rate. There is no reason for me to continue to Amaranthe if Neria is not there. I have to go to the Black March; damn lords have decided to burn and pillage what little food that land can give them.” Alistair looks old beyond his years now. 

“I would go with you but it seems I am to be a Grey Warden.” Anders waves a hand to encompass all of the building.

“Fiona needs you, she is a hard woman. Aren’t you from the Andals?” 

“Yes though I don’t remember any of it. I remember my father and a cellar and Templars.” Anders says shaking his head. 

“I like her but she is a hard woman. She’s been a Warden for 10 years and she was born from a long line of Wardens.” Alistair says chewing the inside of his lip. 

“Exactly what this place needs, a capable Commander who can figure out what is going on with the dark-spawn.” Anders says nodding in acceptance. 

“Yes, I will say this Anders, if you take any of the women down into the Deep Roads; do not allow them to be taken alive.” Anders nods and Alistair walks out. 

Alistair makes it to his room and dismisses his guard before he is throwing things. Yes he wants revenge; yes he wants to tear the Chantry down brick by brick. Yes if he sees Cullen it will end with one of them not walking away alive. What had gone so wrong? How could Cullen have allowed Neria to be found and taken? “Maker forgive me for this, forgive me but the people carrying out your will need to die in this case. I understand your message, but why did one so young have to bear that price?” He knows there will be no answer.


End file.
